Ben was begging. I could tell breaking up was the last thing he wanted or expected, but in that moment, I was truly done.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” I said, through my tears. “I love you, but I just can’t do this. I’m done.”
That time, I knew exactly what being ‘done’ meant. I was breaking up with Ben. I watched his face crumble before I turned away.
I wanted to make a dramatic exit, but in order to leave I had to find Rachel, hoping she could take me home before she left to hang out with her new boyfriend. She was presumably still inside dealing with Ashleigh, so I shot her a text and marched through the house and out into the front yard. As soon as I hit the porch, I heard footsteps behind me.
“Ben, don’t,” I said, not even turning around. I didn’t want to look at him. I needed to get away from him.
“I’m not Ben,” Chase said, startling me for the second time that night.
He came around to face me, and I was surprised to see that he didn’t look angry anymore. He looked concerned.
Not knowing what I was doing, I threw my arms around my brother’s neck, startling him in the process, and started crying again. Chase’s arms tentatively came up around my back as he tried to comfort me. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He just let me cry.
Then without questioning the odd exchange that was so out of character for us, he just said, “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
Had I been more coherent in the moment, I probably would have noticed him take out his phone and text Rachel. I also would have questioned why her number was programmed in his phone in the first place, but I was so consumed by my own personal drama that it didn’t register with me until much later.
Chapter Eight
With a heavy heart, I thought about Ben as I held the top I’d worn the night before and looked out my bedroom window in the direction of his house. I felt awful for hurting him, but I knew breaking up was the right thing to do. A part of me regretted it, as I realized I was single for the first time since I was seventeen, but another part of me was kind of relieved.
I felt so bad about what he’d done to me. How could he seriously let Ashleigh kiss him? Was he really that stupid? After I’d just gone off on him for letting her flirt with him, what was he doing even talking to her? He was an idiot. I angrily stuffed my soiled clothes into my suitcase, not wanting to think about them, or the night before, any longer.
“What are you doing?” came a voice from the doorway, pulling me back to the present.
I turned to see Keely standing there with her suitcase, giving me an odd look.
“I’m packing,” I said, looking down, so she couldn’t see the pain on my face.
“I’m sorry about Ben. That sucks what he did, but props to you for being such a badass.”
I had to laugh. Even though I wasn’t feeling very badass with a swollen right hand and bruises on my arms from where Chase had held onto me, I considered the compliment a bright spot on a really shitty morning.
“Keels, I feel really bad,” I said, looking up at her.
She was flipping through the latest issue of Rolling Stone that Rachel had left on my dresser when she’d come over the day before.
“You should,” she said matter-of-factly. “It was stupid to break up with Ben. He’s like the best guy, and he’s so effing hot. And you guys have been together forever. You know he didn’t really do anything wrong. Ashleigh totally surprise-attacked him. Barrett and Lauren saw the whole thing. He didn’t ask her to kiss him, and he felt really bad about it afterward. Lauren said he was a mess after you left.”
My stomach dropped as Keely’s words cut right through me. Poor Ben. I’d really hurt him.
“He’s just going to sleep with her now that he’s not with you,” Keely continued, turning my stomach at the idea of Ben and Ashleigh together.
“Shut up, Keely,” I snapped at her, irritated that she’d even say that. “I need to call him.”
The urge hit me out of the blue. I was suddenly searching for my phone. I needed to be sure Ben was okay. Maybe he was. Maybe after getting a good night’s sleep, he’d realized that breaking up was for the best.
“You don’t have to,” Keely said, not looking up from the magazine. “He’s outside.”
“He is?”
“Yeah, he looks all sad and dejected – it’s sort of pathetic.”
Or, maybe Ben hadn’t realized that breaking up was for the best. Maybe after sleeping on it, he thought I’d acted out of emotion, and he wanted to try to win me back.
“Oh, man,” I muttered, as I got to my feet, ignoring my sister’s barb.
I wasn’t sure I could face Ben. Talking on the phone was one thing, but being face-to-face with him, I wasn’t sure I’d have the willpower to not take him back if he asked. I had a feeling that was what he wanted, and I geared myself up for what I would say to him as I headed downstairs.
“Hey,” I said softly, stepping onto the porch and closing the front door behind me.
Ben was facing away from me, but he turned around in a hurry when he heard my voice. He looked like hell. I ventured to guess he hadn’t slept at all.
“Hey,” he said, taking a step toward me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, already knowing the answer to my question.
He shook his head. “My girlfriend, who I love so much, broke up with me out of the blue last night, because she thinks I hooked up with someone else. How do you think I feel?” he asked dryly.
“Did you hook up with her?” I asked, a little more harshly than I’d intended.
“No,” he said firmly. “I didn’t hook up with Ashleigh. I would never do that, Em. We were talking, and she just stopped in mid-sentence and kissed me. I never saw it coming.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Ben, were you that drunk or just that stupid that you didn’t notice she was flirting with you – again?” I asked, not believing that he hadn’t known what was happening.
He shook his head, his eyes going wide. “No way. I didn’t see it.”
Okay, so my boyfriend was obviously not known for his attention to detail, but this was ridiculous. Ashleigh had been all over him.
“Em, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I was up all last night. I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was that I’d fucked up. I was so pissed at myself. I’m so stupid, and now I’ve lost you.”
He pounded the railing with the palm of his hand, making me wince. I stepped forward and put my hand on his forearm, forcing him to stop raging and look at me.
“Em, this is crazy. We’ve been together for five years. We’ve talked about getting married. You have to know that I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. You’re too important to me. Please don’t do this to us.”
I looked up into the face I knew so well, taking in his sad eyes and defeated expression. It felt horrible to be the one who was making him feel that way. I reached up and put my hand on his cheek, cradling it as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, they burned with intensity.
“Emily, I want to marry you. You’re the person I see myself spending the rest of my life with. I want you to be the mother of my children. Please don’t end this. I love you.”
Oh, my God. My heart was literally breaking as he said those words to me, and I couldn’t help crying.
“Why are you crying?” he asked, taking me in his arms and holding me against his chest, his hand rubbing up and down my back.
I inhaled his familiar scent and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him against me.
“Please take me back, Emily. I’ll never talk to Ashleigh again if that will make things right between us. You are so much more important to me than she’ll ever be. Please.”
I nodded once against his chest, powerless to deny him what he was begging me for.
“Did you just nod?” he asked in shock, his heart rate increasing beneath my cheek.
“Yes, I did,” I said, not sure I was making the right decision.
Ben squeezed me so tight I thought I might stop breathing. “I love you so much, Em,” he said. “Thank you. I swear I’ll never talk to Ashleigh again.”
I smiled. It was a vow he should have made years ago, but at least he was finally realizing it.
“Ben, you don’t have to do that,” I said, acting like it wasn’t a necessary gesture, when in reality, I wanted nothing else than for him to dismiss her from his life completely.
“No, I will,” he said, nodding earnestly.
I laughed at his enthusiasm. “Okay, whatever you want.”
“I just want you,” he said as he leaned down to kiss me.
I kissed him back, realizing how much I really did like kissing him.
When Ben pulled away, he was smiling. He leaned back against the porch railing, and I leaned against him, resting my head on his chest. I let him hold me until I had go, knowing it was what he needed, but truthfully, in that moment, I needed it too.
“I have to go,” I said, looking up at him, knowing we needed to leave if we wanted to get to the beach by the time we’d told my Mom we’d be there. She’d have a conniption if we were late.
“I know,” he said softly, leaning down to kiss me. “I miss you already.”
“Me too,” I said, knowing I wasn’t lying. I really would miss him.
He kissed me once more before I headed back inside.
“I’m almost ready,” I told Keely, as I walked back into my room, looking around to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything.
My sister was sitting in my chair, flipping through the same magazine.
“Whatever,” she said, stretching her legs out in front of her. “I’m in no hurry to start my summer from hell. Did you guys make up?”
“Yeah, we did.”
“Yay,” she said sarcastically, pumping her fist in the air. “Nothing but first-class drama around here.”
I shot her an annoyed look, but she didn’t see it.
“Okay, I think I’m ready,” I said, standing up and grabbing my keys.
“Good, because Chase just got home,” Keely said, peering out the window.
Leaving the house, Keely followed me out the front door, wheeling her suitcase behind her while Chase went inside to get his bags. We solemnly piled into my SUV, Keely sighing audibly every few seconds. She looked miserable as she sat in the front seat next to me. I really hoped she’d snap out of it. She was the only person I’d have to hang out with all summer, and if she was going to be pouting, then I didn’t really want to be around her.
In an effort to snap her back into her usual bubbly, fun self, I put on Katy Perry. All it took was one song for Keely to start tapping her foot while we waited for Chase who seemed to be taking forever and a day to get his bags.
I laid on the horn, but it was a few more minutes before he came back outside. Walking past my open window without a word, he banged once on the back hatch, indicating that I should open it. It seemed our brother/sister bonding from the night before had ended at the stroke of midnight.
“What the fuck is this crap?” he asked, as he slid into the car behind Keely.
“Katy Perry,” Keely said, turning around to face him.
“Well, it sucks.”
“It does not,” Keely retorted as I backed out of the driveway.
I could sense a fight coming on, so I looked into the rearview mirror to try and catch Chase’s eye. He was older, so he should know better. He looked up at me for a second, his hooded eyes barely registering the look I gave him, but I knew he understood, because he leaned back and shut up.
“You’re high,” I said simply as I navigated out of our neighborhood.
“Yup.”
“That’s what you were doing just now, wasn’t it? You were smoking,” I accused, glaring at him, pissed that he’d held us up so he could get high.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me smoke in your car, so I didn’t have a choice,” he said, shrugging.
Well, he was right.
Next to me, Keely turned around to get a better look at Chase. “Wow, you really are high,” she said, taking in his vacant expression.
“Chase, it’s ten in the morning,” I said, taking a different approach and knowing I sounded like our mother. Well, not really since she had no idea that her son was baked half the time.
“So,” was all Chase said.
So, I let it drop. I thought he was an idiot, but if he wanted to ruin his life, that was his problem. After he’d helped me the night before I decided I was going to make a concerted effort to not rag on him as much. He’d saved me from embarrassing myself further or getting hurt, plus he’d helped me home. I could at least be nice to him for that, even if I didn’t understand his recreational habits.
When the Katy Perry song ended, I told Chase he could pick the next song, figuring that we’d alternate music so everyone would be happy.
“Pick whatever you want,” he said, sliding his ear buds in and closing his eyes, tuning me and the car ride out altogether.
Just because I knew he’d hate it, I put on Carrie Underwood. Keely was a fan, and I liked some of her songs. But hearing her singing about breaking up with someone, I was conflicted again. I wondered if I’d made a mistake in getting back together with Ben.
I stole a glance at my brother in the rearview mirror and stared at him for a few seconds. He looked up and caught my eye. For a moment, it was like there was something unspoken between us, but I wasn’t sure what it was. We’d drifted so far apart over the years that it was hard to remember a time when we’d been friends – or at the very least, friendly.
Part of me wanted to continue to hate him like I always had because it felt natural, but another part of me suddenly wanted to see if maybe our relationship could change. Obviously, there were a lot of things we’d have to adjust about how we treated each other, but could we actually be friends? Had last night possibly bridged some sort of a gap? He’d been nice to me – a protective older brother, just like he’d been to Keely. Was it just a fleeting moment of brotherly obligation that had caused him to react the way he did, or did he actually care about me? I was willing to give it a chance and see if maybe, by sheer proximity, we could work out our differences over the summer.
Or at least I was willing for the next thirty minutes.
Then Chase took out his ear buds and started to smirk and roll his eyes as Keely and I gossiped about people we knew and talked about clothes and shoes. At that point, I figured our relationship was probably too far gone and returned to hating him. At least it was a familiar feeling.
Our trip was most peaceful when Chase fell asleep for two hours. I was almost tempted not to wake him when we stopped at McDonald’s for lunch but felt guilty, so I threw a pen at his head to jar him awake. He jumped, startled, and I couldn’t help smirking.
After giving us his order, Keely and I went into the restaurant while Chase lingered by the car, saying he needed to make a phone call.
“Who’s he calling?” Keely asked, pulling her curls into a messy pile on top of her head as we waited in line.
I shrugged. “Who knows? Probably his boyfriend, Davis,” I said, feeling instantly bad for calling my brother gay, because for all I knew, he was gay. I’d never seen him with a girl, so who knew, but if he was gay, I hoped he’d have better taste than his obnoxious best friend.
Keely just giggled.
Chase didn’t come inside until after we were already seated with our food. When he joined us, it was apparent that he hadn’t just been on the phone.
“How many times a day do you actually smoke?” I asked him sarcastical
ly as I took a bite of my cheeseburger.
He shrugged, sticking five French fries into his mouth at once. “Four or five,” he said, around his mouthful of food.
“You are such a dumbass,” I said, shaking my head and taking a sip of my Diet Coke.
Chase smiled widely at me. “And you’re a stuck-up, superficial bitch,” he said in an acidly sweet voice, before returning to his food.
My eyes went wide, and I literally thought about hitting him. If we hadn’t been in a very public place, I might have taken a swing at him. Instead I glared at him and gritted my teeth, which wasn’t very effective since he wasn’t even looking at me. I realized I was letting him push my buttons again, and that just infuriated me more.
I was never happier when we finally arrived at the two story house on the beach that my parents had rented, and I could get out of the car and away from Chase.
Upon hearing us pull up, our mom came outside with a big smile on her face. “You’re here!” she cried, embracing Chase who had climbed out of the car first.
He hugged her back, showing that he was, of course, the model son. I glared at his back as he moved past her into the house, lugging his duffel bags with him.
After hugging us, my mom walked Keely and me inside, talking a mile a minute about all the fun things there were to do on the island. Keely mumbled something about calling Barrett and disappeared upstairs. I was left in the living room with my Mom who immediately asked if I wanted some iced tea. Being the truly good child, and not faking it like Chase or ducking out like Keely, I said yes and settled in at the kitchen table while my mom busied herself with pouring two glasses for us.
For the next hour, she talked, and I listened and watched the beach outside. I was itching to change into my new pink bikini and join Keely, who had already set up a beach chair ten feet from the water. She was turning browner as my mother rambled on and on. When the phone rang, interrupting her, I used that as my excuse to leave the table, motioning to her where I was going. She smiled and nodded vigorously a few times.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 8