I watched her for a few seconds before Jonathan’s voice pulled me out of my safe haven where it was just Emily and me. I’d be glad when we had a real break and we could go to the beach house and tune the rest of the world out.
“Come on, Zack,” Jonathan said.
“I’m coming,” I grumbled, so badly wishing Molly was still with us.
I climbed into Jonathan’s rented BMW and stayed silent while he backed out of the space. Across the parking lot, my truck was driving away, and I wished I was in it.
After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke. “We need to talk.”
“Are we breaking up?” I asked, not sure why I constantly felt compelled to piss him off further when I knew he was already mad.
“What are you, two? This is serious.”
“Oh, so sorry. I didn’t know this was ‘serious’,” I responded sarcastically, knowing I was only fueling the fire.
“What’s going on with Andrew?” he asked, choosing not to play into my attempts to piss him off further. Probably a smart move.
“Nothing. Andrew’s great.”
It was sort of true. He was doing better than he had been.
“Is he gay?”
I looked over at Jonathan in surprise. “I’m not sure how that’s any of your business,” I responded curtly.
Jonathan shrugged. “I sort of think it is my business. Not that I care where he sticks his dick, but if it’s causing issues, I need to know about it.”
“I disagree,” I said, still not answering his initial question. “Why would you even ask that?”
He shrugged. “I saw a guy go into his room last night around nine, and then today when that fan asked him if he was gay or straight, he looked like he wanted to throw up. I took a shot in the dark.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head, wondering if Cole had come up to visit Andrew as I tried to figure out how to respond. I wasn’t having this conversation with Jonathan. If he wanted to know if Andrew was gay, he could ask him himself.
“Well,” he prompted, and I shook my head as I looked out the window.
“Zack, I’m not stupid.”
“Look, it’s not my place to say,” I said, my gaze still aimed out the window, “but since you already pretty much guessed it, he’s bi, and it’s not a big deal.”
“Zack, this is a big fucking deal,” he said then, and I turned and looked at him in surprise. I was definitely not cool with him talking to me like that. “Does Emily have a media strategy? When’s he planning to come out, because as far as I knew, he had a girlfriend. How do you think the fans are going to react? Shit!”
He raked his hand through his hair, and I looked at him like he was crazy.
“He’s not planning on coming out,” I said slowly so it would sink in nice and deep. I was not a complete fucking moron, but he was treating me like one. “Drew just started seeing this guy after he broke up with his girlfriend. The whole thing is new to him, and he doesn’t want to come out. You don’t have to worry about the fans. Nothing is going to change. It’s. Not. A. Big. Deal.”
I said it calmly, but the intensity in my tone was obvious.
“Is that what Derrick was talking about during the interview? Andrew lying to you guys?”
“Yeah, it was,” I said, my gaze shifting out the window again. “Drew didn’t say anything to us until recently, and Derrick took it pretty hard.”
“He acted like a jackass today.”
“I know.”
He’s been acting like a jackass for months.
“He’s causing problems, and I know he’s been doing it for a while. It’s not good for the image of the band. You all don’t need any negative press right now.”
“I know,” I said through gritted teeth.
“If he doesn’t get his shit together, something is going to have to change.”
I could definitely read between the lines with that one. I was afraid Jonathan was going to tell me Derrick needed to go, and I wasn’t sure if our contract gave us the ability to protect him if the label didn’t want him. I needed to go back and read it when I got home later. Derrick was an ass, but I’d fight for him if I had to.
“Here’s the deal,” Jonathan said then. “He has two options. He can get over himself and be a part of this band, or he can walk.”
“You’re giving him a choice?” I asked, surprised to hear that.
Jonathan looked at me pointedly. “Today I’m giving him a choice. Based on his actions, I might not be so generous in the future. Adam and I have talked about this, and he shares my concerns.”
“I’ll talk to him” I said, not sure I could get through to Derrick, but maybe if he knew his position in the band was being threatened then he’d just stop – the coke, the attitude, everything.
“Bring Leo with you,” he told me, and I figured he was thinking two versus one would hit harder than just me.
“Yeah, that’s a good call,” I said, hating that I had to agree with him.
“I’m not the bad guy, Zack,” he said then, and I looked at him in surprise.
“I never said you were.”
He shrugged. “You didn’t have to. I can see it in your eyes. I know you aren’t my biggest fan.”
“I don’t have to like you. This is business. Do right by us like you promised, and we’ll be cool.”
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. We need to get along. Trust me when I tell you I’m a good guy. I know you don’t think that, but I’d like to prove you wrong. We’re all on the same team here.”
For some reason, I just didn’t believe him.
“Emily and I are together,” I said, pretty much stating what should have been obvious, but I felt like I needed to remind him of that after what I’d witnessed earlier in the week.
“I know. She talks about you all the time,” he said, and the way he said it made me think he wasn’t a fan of how much Emily talked about me, but I really didn’t care.
“Do you want her?” I asked.
He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Are you offering?”
Fucking dick. I was pretty sure he was attempting a joke, but it also seemed like there was some truth to it.
“No. Not even close.”
He shrugged. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Are you fucking with me?” I asked, not sure how he could be so blatant about something like this.
He turned and looked at me with amusement on his face. “Yes, I’m fucking with you. Paranoid much? I’m not after your girlfriend.”
“Fiancée,” I corrected him.
“Right, sorry. You’re fiancée. I forgot.”
No, you didn’t.
“Whatever.”
I wasn’t sure I could have come up with a more immature response.
“Zack, I have a girlfriend, and she’s a model. I’m all set with what I have, trust me.”
Sorry, can’t do that.
“Emily and I are friends,” he continued. “We’ve gotten to know each other because usually we’re together when the four of you guys are doing your thing. And it’ll continue to be that way. I don’t want you to fly off the handle when you see us talking. It’s harmless.”
“Do me a favor,” I said, not liking his patronizing tone one bit. “Just manage the band. You’re not here to make friends. This is business.”
“Are you going tell your fiancée the same thing?”
Oh, I so wanted to punch him right then.
“No, because I trust her enough to stay away if you decide you’d rather be more than friends. I just don’t trust you.”
“Well, you should,” he said as we turned into the recording studio parking lot. “By the way, you guys sounded amazing this morning doing the acoustic version of Without You.”
“Thanks,” I said curtly. I honestly didn’t give a shit what he thought.
“No, seriously. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it before, but we’re adding that to the album.”
“Yeah, I do. I think the fans will love it. It’s an awesome song.”
“I know it is. I wrote it.”
He shot me a derisive look. “Don’t get egotistical on me.”
I shrugged, but I was smiling on the inside. I’d originally wanted to add an acoustic version of the song to the album, but Adam had shot it down. I was pretty smug at that point.
“I think it’s a great idea,” I finally told him.
“Well, good,” Jonathan said as he got out of the car. “We finally agree on something.”
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
We didn’t say another word as we walked inside to join the guys.
Chapter Eighteen
Andrew
“Hey man,” Zack said when he met me outside at lunch. “I thought you quit that shit?”
He’d caught me lighting a much needed cigarette. I’d started smoking again the week before after having quit a few years earlier.
I shrugged. “Nah, I need to, but it’s providing a calming effect when I want to punch a wall – or Derrick’s face.”
“How does Cole feel about it?”
I looked up at him, surprised he’d brought up Cole. We hadn’t talked about him since the week before when I’d first mentioned him to Zack.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows that I do it.”
“He’ll know when he kisses you tonight.”
“Probably,” I said, taking a slow drag on my cigarette. Apparently Zack knew Cole was in town. I wasn’t sure how he’d found out since I hadn’t told the guys that Cole was visiting me that weekend. After everything with Derrick, I hadn’t wanted to bring it up. The last thing I needed was for Derrick to lash out at Cole. I wouldn’t stand for that. “How did you know he’d be kissing me?”
“Because I know he’s here.”
I narrowed my eyes as I blew smoke up into the sky. “How did you find out?”
“Jonathan saw a guy go into your room last night. I took a guess.”
Shit.
“So Jonathan knows?”
Zack nodded. “Yeah, but he didn’t really care. I think he was relieved you weren’t going to come out – you know, negative press and all – which personally I think is bullshit, but whatever.”
“It’s not bullshit, Zack. There are a lot of homophobic people out there, and they could cause us a lot of problems. I’d rather not rock the boat right now. Do you remember what happened to Frank Ocean at the Grammys?”
He shrugged, but I knew he remembered the snub. We’d all seen it.
“Is Cole okay with it?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he knows where I stand, and the fact that he’s here right now says a lot about how he feels about me, I guess,” I said, small smile teasing my lips.
It was the first time I’d really thought about how much Cole was sacrificing for me. We were in the closet and long distance. It must mean that what I’d read from him the night before hadn’t been too far off. I thought back to waking up that morning wrapped in his arms. It was a nice way to wake up – as nice as I imagined it would be two weeks earlier when he’d been tempting me in my hotel room in Tampa. Then he’d made love to me twice – once in bed and once in the shower – reminding of what I’d been missing for so long. And now that I had him, I didn’t want him to leave.
“You happy?” Zack asked.
I nodded as I flicked ash onto the sidewalk before bringing the cigarette to my lips and inhaling once more.
“Yeah, really happy,” I said as I blew the smoke into the air. “There’s just something about him. I don’t know. I’m kind of sucked in already.” I let my smiled get bigger.
Zack shoulder-checked me playfully. “That’s awesome, dude. You need to introduce me to him while he’s here.”
I wasn’t sure I was ready for that, but if Cole were to meet any of my friends, Zack was the one I’d choose. He was a good guy.
“I don’t know. I think we kind of just want to hang out together. It’s all really new, and he’s leaving on Sunday night.”
Zack nodded. “Got it. I understand. I’m sure I’ll meet him some other time. Is he going to visit while we’re on tour?”
“I think so,” I said, taking a final drag on my cigarette before I stubbed it out. “I want him to, but he has a job, and then there’s Derrick, so we’ll see.”
He sighed “Speaking of that, I hate to infringe on your time with Cole, but we need to have a band meeting tonight.” Zack’s tone suddenly shifted to serious. “Derrick’s gotten out of control, and I’m not just talking about the way he’s been treating you. He’s using again, and with the way he acted today at the radio station, we need to reel him back in or he’s going to be out.”
“Out of the band?” I asked, my eyebrows rising in surprise.
Zack nodded. “Yeah, I know you might actually be in favor of that, but–”
“No, I’m not,” I said quickly, interrupting him.
Zack cocked an eyebrow at me. “Really?”
I shook my head. “Of course not. I might hate him right now, but a part of me has a feeling he’ll come around. I don’t know. Maybe it’s naïve, but I’m hopeful.”
Sure, I was pissed at Derrick for treating me like a leper, but it didn’t mean I wanted him out of the band. He was our drummer. How were we supposed to be Liar’s Edge without our drummer? Of course I knew bands did things like this all the time. It wasn’t uncommon to replace members, but it also wasn’t something any of us wanted to do.
“If it’s any consolation, I think he’s being a dick to you because of the coke. It’s always had a weird effect on him.”
I nodded. “I remember. That actually explains a lot.” I rubbed my chin with my hand. “So he could seriously get kicked out?”
“Jonathan and Adam are over it after last week’s arrest and the shit he pulled today during the interview,” Zack explained. “They’re giving him one more chance.”
“Can they do that?”
Zack sighed. “Yeah, they can. I had Em look at our contract, and if there’s good enough reason, then the label can make those kinds of changes.”
“Shit. That sucks.”
“Yeah, well, if Derrick quits being selfish and acting like an idiot, he’s fine. But if he keeps doing things that make us look bad, then he’s out. It’s on him.”
I nodded. “Okay, so what do you need me to do?”
“Be at my dad’s house at five. We’ll talk to him then.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea for me to be there?”
“Yes,” he said, as he reached for my pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out, put it in his mouth and lit it. “You’re a part of this band. You need to be there. I don’t care what Derrick thinks.”
As he took a long drag, held the air in his lungs and let it out slowly, his whole body relaxed. I knew that exact feeling. It was why I’d started smoking again.
“I thought you quit,” I teased, just like he’d done to me.
He grinned. “Yeah, I did, but this shit’s stressing me out. I’ll quit again.”
“Yeah, that’s what I keep saying too.”
When I finished my cigarette, I had a few minutes before I was needed in the studio again, so I figured I’d call Cole. When I’d left him in the hotel room that morning, he’d had plans to go back to bed for a few hours, but I hoped he wasn’t bored. Truthfully, I would have loved to bring him to the studio so he could see me record, but it wasn’t really something I was ready for just yet.
“Hey Drew,” Zack called after me.
I turned to face him. “Yeah?”
“Why don’t you bring Cole tonight? After our band meeting, we’ll all grill out or something. Maybe it’ll help Derrick to see that you’re really still the same guy you’ve always been.”
Shit, I’d love that, but I just didn’t think it was going to happen.
; “I’ll think about it,” I said, having already made up my mind that I wasn’t going to bring Cole. I’d go to the meeting, and then he and I would go to dinner or order room service or something. I wasn’t about to expose him to the homophobic tendencies of Derrick Chandler.
I dialed Cole’s number on my phone, the butterflies in my stomach reacting to the simple fact that I was going to talk to him.
“Hey babe,” he said softly a few seconds later when his sexy voice greeted me on the phone.
My stomach flipped when I heard it. “What are you doing?”
“Sitting by the pool, thinking about you,” he said, and I could hear the sounds of people splashing nearby.
I grinned. “Funny, I was just thinking about you.”
“I’m not surprised. When will you be back? I’ve got a chair with your name on it.”
Just the thought of Cole laying in the sun all tan and glistening and ripped made me want to say screw recording and head back so I could spend the day lounging poolside with him, but I knew that wasn’t an option.
“Unfortunately, not until late. We’ve got to have a band meeting/intervention, I guess. Derrick was a little out of control during this morning’s interview, and Jonathan, our manager, is threatening to pull his contract if he doesn’t start representing Liar’s Edge better.”
“Yeah, I heard the interview. You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, even though I really wasn’t. “Did you hear that Pierce guy call in? Do you think he’s the same one from that website?”
That had kind of been freaking me out all day.
“Maybe,” Cole said. “It said next to his name on his post that he was from Charlotte. It probably was him.”
I hadn’t seen that the night before. I’d been too enamored with what was written about me to notice many details.
“That’s really weird,” I commented, not liking that people knew who I was. I understood that it came with the territory, but I wasn’t a fan of it.
“Truthfully, it made me a little jealous,” Cole said, surprising me.
“Why?”
“I told you. Other guys are going to be interested in you. You might not believe it, but trust me. You’re going to get hit on more than you think.”
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