by Joanna Wayne
She closed her eyes. She couldn’t bear to see Matt shot again, but this time it was Eisman’s voice she heard yelping curses. When she looked up, he was on the floor, a few feet away from her, clutching a bloody wrist.
Heather jumped to her feet. Matt stood over Eisman, his gun pointed at the wounded man’s head.
“You won’t shoot me,” Eisman taunted. “That badge you wear won’t let you.”
Matt kept the gun pointed. He could pull the trigger so easily. “Are you all right, Heather?”
“Yes, Matt. He didn’t hurt me.”
“I should have killed you. The tramp daughter of a slut.”
Matt’s hand tightened on the trigger. With one movement he could shut David Eisman up forever. His hand shook. Was this what it was like for Jake McQuaid? he wondered. Had he turned his back on the law for Susan the way Matt longed to do now?
Finally, he regained control. “You’re right, Eisman. The badge won’t let me kill you unless you make one foolish move. Just one, and I can pull this trigger with a clear conscience.”
He reached for Heather, and she moved beneath the shelter of his outstretched arm, burying her head in his chest, holding on tight, breathing in the very essence of him. She fought a losing battle with the tears that stung the back of her eyelids.
Matt rocked her against him and then wiped her tears away with the tips of his fingers. “I thought I might never see you again.”
“I wasn’t worried for a minute,” she lied. “I knew you’d come.” She was still in his arms, his pistol still pointed at Eisman’s head when Gabby led a team of Texas Rangers through the cabin door.
SUSAN HATHAWAY SCURRIED about the Colorado ranch house, feeling more lively than she had in months. Matty bad called. He was coming home for his father’s sixty-fifth birthday, and he was bringing a guest, a female guest.
Jake’s middle son Cameron stamped into the room and reached past her to run his finger around the rim of the frosting bowl.
She tapped his fingers with her hand. “You’ll spoil your dinner.”
“It would take more than one bite of chocolate to spoil my appetite for your pot roast.”
“Where’s Cy? He and Amy should have been here by now.”
“Relax. They’re on the way. He’ll be here before Matt and his new sweetie arrive.” Cameron dragged a kitchen chair away from the table and dropped into it. “So what did you do to get Matt to show up for Dad’s birthday?”
“I didn’t do anything but invite him. He’s part of this family. I don’t know why you McQuaids are so suspicious.”
“I’m not suspicious. I just know how you are about my kid brother. We all know he’s your favorite.”
Cameron was teasing, but Susan had to admit there was a bit of truth in what he said. She loved all three of Jake’s boys as if they were her own, but Matt was different. He’d been so young when she’d come to live with them, so in need of the mothering he’d never known. She’d showered her love on him, praying that some woman somewhere was doing the same for her little Heather.
“I don’t have favorites. I just want the day to be nice for Jake. But Matt did say he had a surprise for me. I think he’s going to announce his engagement to the woman he’s bringing home with him.”
“More likely his surprise is a picture of a new horse he bought.”
“We’ll see. We’ll just see. Is that a car I hear pulling up? Look out the door and see if it’s Cy.”
Cameron stopped at the screen. “No. It’s Matt.”
Susan fumbled with the ties on her apron, dropping it to the back of the kitchen chair and then smoothing her hair. Her pulse raced as she walked to the door. Matty was home at last.
Chapter Sixteen
Heather’s heart pounded furiously as she climbed out of the car and got her first look at the woman who’d given birth to her. Susan was smaller than she’d looked in Matt’s picture of her, delicate, but not frail. And even though she was smiling, Heather caught the gleam of moisture in her eyes as she hurried toward them.
Susan held Matt for a long time. When she finally let go, she turned to Heather and held out her hand. Heather took it, realizing that her own hands were shaking. She murmured a hello, her mouth so dry the greeting sounded strained and way too formal. Part of her longed to blurt out the truth, to hurl herself into her mother’s arms, but another part shuddered in fear that Susan might not want her in her life.
The introductions went the way she’d asked Matt to handle them. For now she was just Matt’s guest. When she told Susan who she really was, she wanted more privacy than the porch provided, more intimacy. It would be as much of a shock for Susan as it had been for her.
It would be different if Heather had been a love child, but she was the result of a traumatic rape, a tragedy that had changed Pamela Jessup’s life forever, stolen her very identity.
Matt was joking with his brother Cameron, but he eased a reassuring arm around Heather’s shoulders as they climbed the porch steps. His nearness helped steady her nerves, but now that she was here, she was anxious to finish what she’d come for, anxious to tell Susan Hathaway that she was the daughter she’d given up so many years ago.
But she would have to wait a while longer. Matt’s brother Cy and his wife drove up, and a new round of hugs and greetings got under way.
THE BIRTHDAY PARTY was primarily a family affair—Matt’s two brothers and their wives, Jake and Susan and a few close friends. Heather had barely tasted the food, managing to eat just enough not to call attention to herself while the men wolfed down more than one helping of pot roast, creamy potatoes, fresh butter beans, sliced tomatoes from Susan’s garden and huge portions of chocolate birthday cake and hand-churned ice cream.
They had laughed and visited at the kitchen table, lingering over coffee, everybody talking at once. If anyone noticed Heather’s nervousness, noticed that her breathing all but stopped when Susan’s gaze focused on her, they’d been too polite to say so.
Finally, the guests and family members had said their goodbyes. Now it was only the four of them left in the den of the massive ranch house—Susan and Jake, Matt and Heather. Heather’s pulse raced, her stomach a knot of nerves. She took a deep breath and signaled to Matt with an uneasy glance that she was ready.
Matt reached over and cradled Heather’s clammy hands in his. “I told you I was bringing a surprise for you, Susan. Actually, it’s Heather who has the surprise.”
Susan leaned forward in the chair, her hands crossed in her lap. “I hope you didn’t do anything special for me, Heather. Just having you and Matt here is treat enough for us.”
“No, I didn’t do anything.” Her voice cracked, shattering into a whisper. “This is about something you did for me. Twenty-five years ago.”
The color drained from Susan’s face. “What are you saying?”
Moisture burned at the corners of Heather’s eyes. She bit back the tears, and plunged ahead, afraid to say more, but knowing she couldn’t rest until she’d said the words that tore at her heart. “I’m your daughter.”
Silence filled the room, tension as thick as fog wrapping around them. Heather sat still, her insides trembling, but she met Susan’s gaze head-on.
“No, this can’t be happening.” It was Susan who broke the deafening silence. Her voice faltered, and she wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. “All these years. All this time.”
“It’s true,” Heather whispered, her fingers digging into her sweaty palms. “I’m the child you gave up for adoption.”
Susan tried to stand, but her legs seemed to give way beneath her. Jake was at her side in a split second, his big work-scarred hand around her shoulder as she staggered across the floor and took her daughter in her arms.
“Heather. My own little Heather. Let me look at you.” She cradled Heather’s face in her trembling hands. “You can’t know how many nights I lay awake thinking about you, wondering if you were happy, praying you were safe.”
&n
bsp; Heather quit fighting the tears, quit fighting anything but the unfamiliar emotions churning inside her. “I was always safe, and usually happy. My adopted parents loved me very much, and I loved them.”
“You were so tiny when I was forced to leave you, so helpless.”
Susan’s breathing was ragged, her face pale. Heather held on to her as if she might dissolve in front of her, as if this might all be only a dream.
“You should have no regrets about leaving me at the orphanage. My new parents gave me everything I needed to grow into the woman I am today.”
“The things that I could never give you, even though I loved you more than life itself.”
Susan’s eyes shone like diamonds in a mist, full of a love so strong Heather could feel it wrapping around her, warming her heart. If she lived to be a hundred, she’d never forget this night, this moment. It was as if Susan’s spirit had bonded with hers, mother and daughter, joined for all time.
Finally, Susan pulled away, though she never let go of Heather’s hands. Shoulders drooping, she dropped her head and stared at the rug beneath their feet. “I don’t know how much you know about my life, Heather. I made so many mistakes.”
“I know all I need to know about your past. It doesn’t change the fact that you gave birth to me, that I’m part of you and always will be.”
“Always.” Susan’s voice broke on the simple word. Tears spilled from her eyes again, this time running unchallenged down her sun-bronzed cheeks.
“Always, Mother. I’ve come home.”
A knot the size of Texas welled in Matt’s throat. He swallowed hard, emotion pummeling his gut, dissolving the tough shell he used as a shield. The two women he loved the most in the world were both crying and talking all at once, pouring out their hearts.
Jake touched his arm. “I think we may be in the way here, son.”
Matt stared at his father in amazement. If he didn’t know better he’d think that was the glint of a tear in Jake McQuaid’s eye.
MATT STEPPED into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He and Heather had been in Colorado two days now, long enough for the events of the last few weeks to come out and be discussed in detail. And it was all the time either he or Heather could spare. She’d already extended her vacation long enough to see him through the touch-and-go days after Logan’s bullet had torn through layers of flesh and muscle.
“You’re up awfully early,” Susan said, hurrying through the door. “Couldn’t you sleep?”
“I slept fine, but my body’s on Texas time now. Besides, I’m all grown up. I get up without being prodded, most of the time, anyway.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Where’s Jake?”
“Your father is in the shower. He’ll be down soon. He doesn’t move as fast as he used to.”
“You’re a saint, Susan, to live with that man all these years. You know my biggest fear in life is that I’m just like him, that I’ll make some woman as miserable as he’s made you.”
“Miserable? Is that what you think, Matt, that I’ve been miserable living with Jake McQuaid?”
“Haven’t you been? He grumbles and gives orders and does little else. If a compliment ever fell from his lips, we’d all expect the world to come to an end.”
“Grumbling is not what this is about, Matt. Say it out loud. You’re still angry with your dad because your mother left him.”
“No, I was for a long time, but not anymore. Deserting me was her choice, and I can’t blame him for that.”
“You shouldn’t blame her, either. You can’t know a person’s heart. You certainly don’t know Jake’s.”
“You’re right. How could I?”
Matt took his coffee to the table and sat down. Susan wiped her hands on her apron and dropped into the chair beside him. “Look at me, Matt, and listen to what I say. Jake never wanted things to be the way they were. He followed my wishes. I couldn’t take his name legally, and I wouldn’t take it any other way. If I was ever found out, I didn’t want him dragged into it. He’d done enough already.”
“It seems to me you did all the doing. You took care of us, cleaned the house, canned food from the garden. How is it you figure Jake had done enough?”
“Your father gave up his job as a lawman because he couldn’t keep it and me, too, and that was practically the same as giving up his soul. He was too much a man to live a lie, to hide a woman wanted for bank robbery under his roof while he wore a badge. Besides, even before he knew about the bank robbery, he knew I needed protecting. He just didn’t know who from.”
Matt finished his coffee and pushed away from the table.
Susan grabbed his arm. “I’m not through, Matt. It’s time you faced things the way they are. Your father bore the brunt of his sons’ resentment for years, just so that he could protect my secrets and so that he wouldn’t destroy the bond I shared with each of you. He all but gave up his life for me. So don’t tell me he doesn’t know how to love. And don’t tell me you’re worried about being too much like him. You are like him, and you should thank your lucky stars every day that you are.”
“What’s all the racket down here? You sound like a bunch of clucking hens.” Jake’s boots clacked on the kitchen floor as he made his entrance.
“Just a friendly discussion,” Matt answered, carrying his cup to the sink.
“Well, since you’re talking anyway, you might as well fill me in on the rest of the details. What’s the latest on Rube and Paul?”
“They’re both out on bail. The district attorney has offered them a plea-bargaining agreement. I’m sure they’ll take it. Just having people know what they did to Billy Roy and Susan has been tough punishment for them, and no judge in the country is going to think they’re dangerous.”
“What about Logan?”
“That’s another story altogether. I talked to Sylvia yesterday. She said they’re going for murder one for killing her mother. She wasn’t as upset as I thought she’d be. I guess we’ve all grown up over the years. Now she just wants closure and to go on with her life.”
“And that leaves David Eisman,” Susan said. “It’s hard to imagine I was ever married, even under duress, to a man as evil as he is. If he’d killed Heather or Matt...” Her voice trailed off into a sigh. “I can’t even bear to think about it.”
“Well, he won’t be on the streets again for a long, long, time, if ever,” Matt assured her. “Not only did he shoot me and kidnap Heather, but he killed Ariana Walker in cold blood and never showed a second’s remorse.”
Susan trembled. “I brought so much on all of you. I don’t know how you keep on forgiving me.”
Matt kissed her on the cheek. “Because we love you.”
“Yeah, we do,” Jake seconded. “But we can’t spend all day standing around talking. I’ve got a corral that needs some repair work. You can help me with it, Matt, if you don’t have anything better to do.”
Matt stood and stared at Jake, really seeing him for the first time since he and Heather had arrived in Colorado. The lines in his face were much deeper than Matt remembered them, his shoulders bent a little with age. “I think I could make time to help with the corral.”
“Good.” Jake poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’m glad you’re home, son.”
“Me, too, Dad. And no one is more surprised about that than I am.”
MATT TOSSED in the twin-sized bed he’d slept in as a kid, a million thoughts galloping around in his mind. Things still weren’t perfect between him and his father, but some of the resentment had eased. It was easy to see things in black and white, much more difficult to deal with shades of gray.
His father and Susan had dealt with the shades of gray and made a new life for themselves the best way they knew how. He understood that now. They’d found something in each other to hold on to, and years later, they were still together and happy. Who was he to argue with that? They were even talking about a wedding, a quarter of a century after the fact.
Matt had always loved Susan, j
ust as much as if she had been his real mother. At some level he’d probably always loved Jake, too, but he was just now coming to terms with it. Hopefully, in time, the bond would strengthen between them, but it wouldn’t happen in an instant, not the way it had with Susan and Heather. But then neither he nor his dad had ever been able to open up so freely.
Tomorrow he and Heather would leave Colorado. He’d go back to Texas, and Heather would go back to Atlanta. It would kill him to watch her walk away. She’d invaded every part of his life, every corner of his heart.
He knew she’d stay if he asked her, but how long would she be happy? He couldn’t believe she wouldn’t miss the city, expect him to be more romantic, to be someone he wasn’t. He closed his eyes and tried counting cattle. He gave up as his bedroom door squeaked open.
“Are you awake, Matt?”
“Yeah. I can’t sleep. I guess you’re having the same problem.”
Heather pushed his sheet aside and sat beside him. “I don’t see it as a problem. My mind’s just so full. I’ve never been so happy.”
“I’m glad.”
“My mother never wanted to give me away. It’s nice to know that. She did what she had to do to keep me safe and to keep my life from being tainted with her past.” She kicked off her slippers and pulled her feet onto the bed. “I think she needs me even more than I need her.”
Matt tousled her hair. “You’re easy to need.”
“Do you need me, Matt?”
There was no missing the seriousness of her tone. He swallowed hard. “Not me. You’re much too bossy for my style.” He pulled her close, and his lips found hers, the need inside him eating away at his control. He struggled to keep the moment light. “Not to mention that you’re a city girl and I’m a sh...a manure-kicking cowboy lawman.”
“Since when did you launder your language so closely?”
“Since I stepped back inside Miss Susan’s house. The taste of soap forever lingers on my tongue when she’s around.”