“I truly hope so, for I fear our time is nearly up.”
Footsteps came toward the door. Clem scrambled across the hall to the closest room and ducked behind the door.
“Oh, hey Clem,” Oren said from his bed. He was munching on an apple.
“Shhh!” She listened inside his door, waiting for the footsteps to move away.
Oren paused a moment, and when she relaxed he asked, “What was that all about?”
Clem walked over and pulled a chair up, next to the bed. “I overheard Khalil and Magdalene arguing. I think it was about the schematics.”
“Ohhh, what’d they say?” he asked, munching away.
“Do you have to chew that thing so loudly?”
Oren looked down at his apple and grinned, then put it on the wooden crate beside his bed.
“She wasn’t able to figure it out either…at least not right away. It’s going to be at least three weeks until we even know what the device is supposed to do.”
Oren collapsed back onto the bed. “Great,” he said sarcastically.
“Are you really that eager to be gone from here? We are hidden, safe from the Ministry, there’s food, beds…”
“I just don’t like being cooped up for so long, and the walls here are so confining,” Oren crossed his arms.
“I found some old tapestries in storage. I can put them up in here if it would help,” Clem offered.
Oren took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling.
“It’s not the walls, is it?”
He didn’t answer.
“You know you’re going to have to talk to her at some point. Aren’t you even a little bit curious about why things happened the way they did?” Clem asked gently.
“I already know why. Besides, there’s no excuse she could give that would justify it.” He turned his head away. After a minute, he spoke quietly, “They took my mom and dad Clem. They’re gone, but I just can’t seem to forget. I don’t understand why the pain won’t fade away…I just miss them so much.” Oren’s voice broke as he turned to face her, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Oh Oren,” Clem moved from the chair and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Oren collapsed into her, resting his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair gently. His chest rose and fell unevenly as he took several ragged breaths.
Eventually, he sat up and leaned back against the pillows, wiping away his tears. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, “for what I said back in the woods.”
“…the woods?” Clem asked.
Oren looked away. “The thing about not having anyone to lose. I was wrong. You had me to lose, and I disappeared without saying anything. I’m sorry I left. I should have figured out a way to tell you what happened. Everything was just so intense. It was hard to think about home…my old home. So I just…tried to forget everything.”
It hurt to hear, but she understood his reasons for wanting to forget. “I know a thing or two about running from the past,” she said with a sad smile. “It’s okay, Oren. All that is behind us.”
“Right. I guess we’ve got bigger problems now, if what Khalil says is true.”
A knock came at the door.
Oren quickly wiped his face and did his best to appear his normal self. “Come in.”
“Ah, Sa’di, you are awake. Hello Clementine. Tell me, Sa’di, how are you feeling?” Khalil wore his usual subtle smile.
“Much better, actually.” Oren smiled at Clem.
“Excellent. Then we can begin your training.”
“Training?” He sat up slowly. “I’d love to, but I’m not sure how well I can handle a sword at the moment.”
“This type of training requires no sword. Come.” He turned and walked out.
Oren looked at Clem with confusion. She smiled and said, “You better hurry up and get dressed. You know how Khalil gets when he’s kept waiting.”
With that, Clem stood and left the room, closing the door behind. Speaking of training, she thought, I should track down Magdalene.
She poked her head into Magdalene’s room across the tunnel, but it was empty save for a large desk with papers scattered across it, and a small fire burning low in a floor recess. Clem resisted the temptation to snoop and closed the door.
She continued down the corridor toward the common area, where she found Magdalene seated on the floor, sipping tea. She nodded to Clem as she walked in. “Clementine, I see you’re up and about as before. How is your head?”
Clem felt the bump there. “Oh this? I’ve had worse.” She moved into the room and sat down on the rug nearby. “I was thinking, if you have time, I’d like to continue my lessons.”
Magdalene looked at her for along moment.
Clem spoke quickly, “I’m sorry for what happened. It was an accident, honestly. I promise I’ll be more careful and only do as you say.”
Magdalene sighed. “Very well, child.” She set down her tea. “I suppose it’s as good a distraction as any. Come. Sit across from me.”
Clem moved to face Magdalene.
“Tell me what you know of kai.”
“Kai is the energy that underpins the natural laws of the universe. It permeates all things and is necessary for our very existence. Those who have kindled can gather it. Gathering too much, can kill you,” Clem recited astutely.
“You are partly correct.”
Clem slouched.
“Gathering too much can kill everyone around you. You yourself, fully suffused with kai, collapse inward like a neutron star, and become kai itself. None have ever returned from this experience.”
“But…they don’t die?”
“In a way, they do not, but their time on this plane of existence ends.”
Clem couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like. The euphoria of gathering filled her with such freedom. How could that be a bad thing? She thought of leaving everything behind, and decided against trying it.
“Magistra Medeia?” Clem asked.
“Yes, Clementine?”
“How do you know so much about gathering? It can’t have been more than a few years since you kindled.”
Magdalene glanced over at Khalil, who once again witnessed the lesson from the edge of the room. “This lesson is not about me, young one.”
Clem slouched further, and Magdalene sighed.
“I learned of it quite by chance, many years ago while studying early Ministry records. Most of the evidence of gathering had been expunged, but some had slipped through. I had to discover whether it was truth, or some fanciful metaphor for man-made weapons of destruction.
“After months of digging I found more evidence, proving the validity of the records. Ever since then, I have been seeking out new information on kai; how it’s used, and what can be done with it,” she concluded.
“Wow,” Clem wanted badly to know what she knew. “Have you ever thought about writing a book?”
Magdalene smiled, “I’d love to, just as soon as I accomplish the hundreds of other, more pressing tasks that need doing.” She cleared her throat. “Today’s lesson entails a set of small exercises, meant to help you gain self-control. Close your eyes.”
Clem obeyed, reminding herself to maintain control.
“I want you to recall the last experience you had here with me. Think about what you saw, and the connectedness of all things bound by a single energy.”
Faint outlines began to appear through the darkness of her closed eyes.
“Recall the sounds you heard as the kai-strings interacted with each other.”
The outlines became brighter. Clem strained to make out the shape before her.
“Recall the feeling of kai suffusion.”
Shimmering lines of light coalesced before her, settling into the form of Magdalene, sitting across from her.
“As you observed, the kai are all around us at all times. When one gathers, one opens oneself to it. Some can gather more kai than others. This is not dependent on stre
ngth, intelligence, ability, or stamina. In fact, the decision is entirely out of your control. How much you are able to draw is dependent on how willing, or eager the kai are to join with you. They are drawn to some people more than others. I have theories on why, but they are as yet unverified.
“As you experienced, it can grow out of control rather quickly when left unchecked. This is why you must learn to control the flow, and practice cutting it off before you lose control. Do you understand?”
“Yes Magistra.”
“Tell me what you see.” Clementine watched Magdalene raise her arms, making one big arc.
“I see you, only…you’re made of some kind of light.”
Ever so slowly, Clementine saw tiny golden tendrils of light flowing into Magdalene. They wrapped around her and added their golden light to her own.
“Are you—”
“With this exercise, I want you to slowly open yourself to kai. Do not try until I tell you to do so. Closing oneself off from kai is very difficult at first, but will eventually become second nature. To stem the flow, you must concentrate on your individuality. What makes you, you. For some, they focus on a loved one and attempt to see themselves through that person’s eyes. Others concentrate on a powerful, defining memory. Yet others envision themselves as they truly wish to be. I caution you, do not attempt this with your own idea of who you think you are. Perception is relative, and self-perception cannot be achieved with subjectivity.
“Now, choose your method.”
Clem thought about what would work best for her. Most of her defining memories carried pain, so she ruled those out right away. Her loved ones were few and far between. Not much to go on there.
Who do I truly want to be? She’d never really asked herself that question before. She decided to start with who she had been. A person who’s main priority was survival. But she didn’t’ just survive, she thrived. She had more wealth under her bed than her family had earned over her entire lifetime. But it wasn’t enough, so she started building. Incredible devices that let you jump as high as a building. It was exhilarating, but still something was missing. Hatch. How long had it been since she let anyone in before him? Look how that paid off.
Magdalene cleared her throat.
“Ah yes, sorry, just a minute,” Clem stalled.
She had wanted so badly to fight for Hatch. There was something within that desire that needed to be fulfilled. It became even more powerful when she was able to stand with her friends in combat. Her friends. The words felt foreign in her head. That was who she wanted to be. Someone with purpose. Someone who can keep the people she loves safe.
“I am ready. I have chosen who I wish to be.” She was incredibly nervous, but refused to outwardly show any weakness. What if I can’t stop it?
“Very well. Now relax your consciousness. Do not think of yourself as one woman. You are part of something bigger. Something more grand and breathtaking than you could ever imagine. Let yourself join with it. You are not one woman, you are everything.”
Clementine looked around with her eyes still closed. Small tendrils of golden light were drifting toward her. They were warm, calming. Her nervousness evaporated.
“Very good, now control it, do not let it accelerate.”
Clem did her best to try to feel how much kai she had gathered. She thought it was a small amount, but she had to concentrate to prevent it from getting out of control. It felt like a balancing act.
“You are doing well. Now prepare to release it. Remember your method.”
My method? Her mind was so preoccupied with holding the kai, that she had a moment of panic when she couldn’t remember it. The serene warmth reinstated itself, and she easily held the method in mind, preparing.
“Now, individualize. Release your kai.”
Clem turned her attention to who she wanted to be; someone who can protect the ones she loves.
Nothing changed, and with her attention on her method, the kai began to join with her at a faster rate. Her heart pounded.
“It’s not working,” she failed to hide the fear in her voice.
“Remain calm. Don’t just recall the words, visualize yourself as the person you want to be. Visualize what you would be doing as this person.”
Right. Okay. Focus, Clem thought. She pictured herself shooting an arrow through the eye of the hasai that had nearly cut down Oren.
The flow of kai slowed.
She recalled standing with him, facing that horrible monster.
It began to reverse.
She pictured herself, fighting alongside him to destroy it.
Clementine was so absorbed with her method that it took her a moment to realize she had released all the kai. “Hey! I did it!” She opened her eyes, grinning.
Magdalene smiled. Clem realized she had never actually seen her smile until then. She was exceedingly beautiful when she did.
“Again. Today’s lesson is to practice individualization repeatedly over the next three hours. Prepare yourself.”
By the time she was finished, Clementine was completely exhausted. She stumbled down the hall, both physically and mentally fatigued.
“Oh, hey Oren,” she said as he approached from the other direction.
“Hey,” he said quietly. He looked disappointed.
“I take it your lesson didn’t go so well?” she asked.
“Not exactly…unless you count sitting still with my eyes closed for an hour as a going well. Khalil says we’ll try again tomorrow.”
“Don’t sweat it, most people don’t perceive the kai on their first try.”
“What about you? Were you able to see it?” he asked.
She hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was discourage him. “Eventually, yes. But it wasn’t easy,” she lied.
Oren nodded. “You always were a quick study…you look exhausted. What were you doing, running laps around the common room?”
“Feels like it. Magdalene had me doing individualization exercises for the past three hours.”
“Individualization?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You look like you can barely stand. I’ll let you get some rest.”
“Okay, I’ll fill you in later.” She stifled a yawn and shuffled to her bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
18
Accountability
Oren’s body vibrated with energy.
“Make yourself supple, Sa’di,” Khalil called from across the grassy clearing.
Oren had gathered enough kai to send waves of warm shivers through his skin. He barely noticed the cold gusting wind.
“Allow yourself to sway gently with the universal tide, do not resist the motion.”
This was his twelfth attempt. He worried he wouldn’t have many more left in him after this.
“Allow yourself to be borne by it. The kai is your vessel.”
An orange and yellow leaf slid through the air before him. Oren closed his eyes, holding the leaf’s motion in his mind. It danced, floating and skating over pockets of air.
The warm shivers intensified until they were no longer waves, but a constant buzz. Oren felt a discharge of energy and a deep THWUM filed his ears.
He cautiously opened his eyes. His perspective in the clearing had changed! He was twenty feet from where he stood when he closed them.
“Yes! Ha-ha! That was incredible!” He was ecstatic. For three days he’d been trying and failing to catch even a glimmer of kai. Now that it finally happened, everything was clicking into place.
Khalil came jogging up. Small puffs of air rose from his mouth.
“Excellent, Sa’di. It is absolutely imperative that you remember the principles behind the shift in order to control it.”
“I know, I know. One wrong move and I’m spliced with a tree.” Oren walked back to his original spot, inspecting the ground where he stood. He lifted a leaf with an arc cut out of it. The other half wasn’t here.
“Until you learn to control it, your position will be random.
You must never—”
“Never shift in a confined space, or with anything else nearby. I remember.” Now that the excitement had faded, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion. “I need to try that again. I think I can direct it.”
Khalil crossed his arms and looked at Oren. “I think not today.”
“I can handle it, really!”
“I would rather not carry you back, Sa’di. Tomorrow, after you practice the Forms.”
Oren knew there was no point arguing when Khalil used that tone. He gathered his things and they began the hike back to the caverns.
They walked at a leisurely pace. The only sounds were the birds above, and the crunch of dry leaves under their boots.
“Has she figured anything out yet? With the schematics?” Oren asked.
“No, nothing yet.”
“What do you think we’ll do once she does?”
“That will depend on what she finds, Sa’di.”
Oren saw he wasn’t getting anywhere, and changed the subject. “So, how do you know so much about gathering? I don’t see how anyone could figure this stuff out without help.”
Khalil didn’t answer. Oren had nearly given up when he finally spoke.
“There was a time when those who gathered were far more common.”
“Where did they all go?” Oren asked.
“They were systematically hunted down and taken, or killed,” Khalil said solemnly.
“The Patriarch?”
Khalil nodded. “Gabrial Penumbra believed that gathering gave too much power to the individual person, that it constituted a threat to his rule, so he eliminated the threat.”
“You said everyone has certain gifts, right? What kinds of things could they do?”
“Well, there are those like Clementine, able to create and destroy micro-singularities.”
“Micro-singularities?”
Khalil nodded. “Microscopic black holes. They are benders of light, able to conceal themselves, among other things.”
“What else?”
“Some could manipulate space-time, generating gravity wells.”
Recreance (The Aeternum Chronicles Book 1) Page 23