He saw the alarm that flared briefly in her brown eyes, and dragged his attention back to the road, not wanting to see the dawning revulsion in her expression. He jumped a little when she leaned over and pressed her face to his shoulder.
“Oh, Matt,” she said, her voice muffled against his arm. “Pull the truck over, please.”
Grimacing, Matt hauled the vehicle over to the breakdown lane and thrust it into Park. He held both hands on the steering wheel while Megan sniffled against his shoulder.
Finally, she lifted her head. Catching his jaw in her hand, she forced him to look at her. What he saw in her face nearly undid him. There was no disgust or horror reflected there, only compassion and an understanding that caused his chest to constrict. Her eyes were moist, and he realized with a sense of wonder that she was crying for him.
“Matt, you’re a professional soldier,” she said firmly. “But that doesn’t mean you’re a cold-blooded killer. I don’t believe you enjoy killing people. You did what you had to do.” She stroked his jaw with her thumb. “But those days are behind you now. You served with honor and distinction and you have every reason to be proud of the service you provided. I know I’m proud of you.”
“Megan.” Her name came out on a half laugh, half groan, and then his arms were around her. He pulled her fully across the seat and buried his face in her neck, breathing in her clean, sweet scent. She responded by winding her arms around him and hugging him tight, even as she pressed warm kisses against his neck and ear.
“I think you’re an amazing man,” she whispered, and then she found his mouth with her own, kissing him fervently.
Matt groaned and slanted his lips hard across hers, wanting to absorb her, wanting to make her a part of himself. She made a small murmur of pleasure and shifted closer, and Matt deepened the kiss. He slid his tongue against hers and explored the sweet recesses of her mouth, aware that he was rock hard and throbbing with need. He found her breast with one hand and gently kneaded the firm flesh, loving how her nipple beaded against his palm.
“Oh, man,” he breathed against her mouth, “everything about you turns me on. I think about you all the time, and I’ve been dying to be with you again.”
“Me, too,” Megan whispered, and arched against his hand. “I’ve been thinking, too, that maybe you’d sleep better if you had company at night.”
Matt laughed softly. “I’m not sure my mother would approve of my having a sleepover under her roof.”
“What if you moved in with me?”
Matt stilled. Slowly, he pulled back and searched Megan’s face. She chewed her lower lip, and he saw the apprehension in her eyes.
“You’re asking me to move in with you?” he repeated lamely.
“Well, only if you want to. I know it’s fast, but I have the room, and—”
“Won’t that be awkward for you at work? I mean, sleeping with the boss’s son?” He couldn’t prevent the smile that tugged at his mouth.
“Would it be awkward for you?” she countered. “Because I honestly don’t think your mother would have a problem with it. We’re both adults, and I think she knows how I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel?” he asked, sliding his palm along the fragile line of her jaw.
“Like this is the right thing to do.” She smiled at him. “This feels right, Matt. Maybe we’re moving too fast, but I feel as if I’ve known you forever, and I’d really like you to move in with me.”
“Oh, man,” he said softly, “I’d really like that, too.”
To his surprise, he realized it was the truth. He liked the thought of living with Megan. He imagined what it would be like to take her to bed every night and wake up with her in his arms each morning. Then he remembered that if he was accepted into the state police academy, he’d be required to live on campus for six months of recruit training. He didn’t want to reveal that bit of information to Megan. Not yet. Not until it was a sure thing.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he assured her. “It’s just that I can’t really commit to moving in with you just yet. I want to, I really do, but I have a few things that I need to sort out first, okay?”
“Okay.” She nodded, but Matt didn’t miss the quick flare of disappointment in her eyes, quickly hidden by a smile. “The offer is open, so whenever you’re ready, just let me know.”
Matt kissed her once more before putting the truck into gear and pulling back out onto the highway. His thoughts were consumed with her offer, and what it would mean. He’d be committed to her, and the thought scared the hell out of him as much as it thrilled him.
He was quiet for the rest of the drive, although Megan didn’t seem to notice. She kept up a steady flow of conversation, keeping it light. He enjoyed listening to her talk about everything from her job to spending summers on the coast of Maine with her three sisters. He could easily envision her as a towheaded child, running wild on the beach. Unbidden, he had a sudden image of what their own little girl might look like running across the sand. Almost immediately, he did a mental recoil.
Where the hell had that come from?
Sure, Megan was smart and sexy and gorgeous, and they’d just talked about moving in together, but no way were they ready to make a lifetime commitment to each other. Were they?
When they arrived at Fort Devens a long line of cars was waiting to gain access to the fairgrounds. Matt reached over and covered Megan’s hand with his. Her startled glance flew first to their linked fingers and then to his face.
“Thanks again for coming,” he said. “This means a lot to me.”
She gave him a wide smile. “Then I’m glad I came.”
“Me, too. I think you’ll like my buddies, but if they get a little rowdy or say anything inappropriate, just let me know.”
Megan arched a slim eyebrow. “You forget—I teach fifth graders.” Her smile widened. “Bring ’em on.”
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Megan collapsed gratefully onto a picnic-table bench, thankful for the overhead canopy that provided some relief from the sun. She dropped several stuffed animals onto the table, along with a bag of kettle corn and the remnants of her cotton candy. After two turns on the Tilt-a-Whirl, her stomach felt a little queasy, and the fried dough she’d enjoyed an hour earlier now sat like a stone in the pit of her stomach.
“You stay here, I’ll grab you a bottle of water. Unless you’d prefer a beer?”
Megan looked up at the young man who hovered over her. “Water sounds great,” she assured him. She watched as he walked away, acknowledging that young, hard-bodied marines really weren’t all that different from fifth graders.
She was exhausted.
She’d spent the entire afternoon exploring the fair in the company of two of Matt’s Marine Corps buddies. Almost as soon as they’d arrived at the tent where his friends were grilling burgers and sausages, Matt had been pulled aside by the base commander and asked to provide an interview and photographs for the local media. She had seen the irritation that had flashed briefly in his eyes. He’d wanted to say no. She had wanted him to say no, too, but understood that wasn’t an option.
Her two escorts, Liam and Alex, had taken their job seriously when Matt had told them to make sure she had a good time. They’d dragged her onto every ride, had tried to win a prize for her at every midway game, and had stuffed her so full of food that she was afraid she might actually burst. Their energy and enthusiasm had been both contagious and unflagging.
From her seat at the picnic table, she could see that Matt was immersed—quite literally—in the fundraiser. The marines had set up a dunk tank, and a steady stream of fairgoers stood in line to try their luck at dropping Matt into the tank of water below his collapsible seat. The sign over the dunk tank read Dunk a New England Warrior! Liam had explained to her that New England Warriors was the name of a nonprofit group that raised money to support injured soldiers and their families.
Matt wore nothing but a pair of tropical-print swim
shorts, and Megan didn’t have to wonder why the customers were mostly female. There were groups of giggling teenage girls who had no sooner taken their turn than they hurried to the end of the line to try again, willing to spend all their money on this one attraction. Then there were the older college-age girls who flirted outrageously with Matt as they tried unsuccessfully to dunk him.
Megan watched as several women strolled by with their husbands or boyfriends, only to stop when they got a glimpse of Matt sitting bare-chested on the chair over the water tank. It was these men who, in a show of friendly rivalry, accepted the challenge and with a well-aimed throw at the target, knocked Matt into the water. This only attracted more women to the dunk tank, because watching Matt come up from the water, sleek and muscular and slicking moisture back from his hair, was a glorious sight.
Nearby, Matt’s buddies were selling grilled hamburgers, hot dogs and sausages. They shouted encouragement to the girls who tried to dunk Matt, and made several crude jokes about him having survived a bullet to the head. They’d leered at Megan in a friendly way, had joked with her and tried to persuade her to take a turn in the dunk tank. They were as rowdy as Matt had warned, but Megan found herself liking them. Beneath their brashness, she sensed they were each genuinely good and caring men.
“Here’s your water.”
Megan turned to see that Liam had returned, carrying a bottled water and a beer. He twisted the cap from the water and set it down in front of her. Megan took a grateful sip and then pressed the cold bottle against her neck in an effort to cool off.
“Sure you don’t want a turn in the dunk tank?” he teased, watching her.
Megan laughed. “No, thanks.”
Liam threw a leg over the picnic-table bench and sat down across from her. “So how did you and Talbot meet? I didn’t know he was seeing anyone.”
“I actually met him through an adopt-a-soldier program at the school where I work,” Megan admitted. “I sent him a bunch of letters and care packages. We got to know each other pretty well during the last six months of his tour.”
“Wow. So is this the first time you’ve actually met him? I mean, he’s only been home for…what, four or five days?” He took a swig of his beer and considered her.
“I actually flew out to California last weekend, after he got back from Iraq. We spent some time together then.” Megan knew she was blushing, but couldn’t prevent the heat that seeped into her skin as she recalled what they had shared during that weekend.
“No shit.” Liam looked impressed. “You usually only read about that kind of stuff in men’s magazines. You know…‘Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me….’” Seeing the expression on Megan’s face, he abruptly broke off. “Sorry. Bad joke.”
“No, it’s fine,” Megan said, laughing in spite of herself. “I’m sure a lot of people are surprised by how we met.”
Liam shrugged. “Not really. Matt’s never been one to turn down a good opportunity, you know? But his relationships never seem to last.” Then, realizing his gaffe, he quickly backpedaled. “What I mean is, he’s never had time for a real relationship because he’s always been deployed. But now that he’s getting out, he won’t be deployed again and I’m sure things will be different. I mean, you’re different. Your relationship will be different. Those other women—ah, shit. I’m making a mess of this, aren’t I?”
He looked so mortified that Megan felt a pang of sympathy for him. “It’s okay. I understand what you’re trying to say.”
His relationships never seem to last.
Try as she might, she couldn’t get past those words.
She could envision the kind of women that Matt might have dated in the past. Exotic women. Exciting women. She picked at the label on her water bottle and tried to sound casual, as if she weren’t seething with jealousy at the very thought of Matt with another woman. “Do you know Matt well?”
“Hell, we went through boot camp together. I was actually pretty surprised to hear he was getting out. He’s the kind of guy who thrives in a military environment, you know? He’s an adrenaline junkie—the more dangerous the situation, the better he likes it.”
Megan’s gaze slid beyond Liam, to where Matt had just been dropped into the water. As he came to the surface, sun glistened off his wet body, emphasizing his sleek muscles. He laughed and traded gibes with the young woman who had managed to hit the target and send him into the dunk tank.
“Maybe that was true once,” she finally said, “but he seems pretty happy with his decision to get out of the military.”
Liam gave a noncommittal grunt. “Maybe. We’ll see. Personally, I don’t think he’s cut out for civilian life. The Marine Corps is all he knows. Besides, there aren’t too many employers looking for people with his particular specialty.” He shook his head. “I give him a month before he’s had enough and decides to reenlist. If boredom doesn’t have him running to the nearest enlistment office, all this media hype sure as hell will. I hear his commanding officer has been campaigning pretty hard for him to come back. Matt’s one of the best snipers he has.”
Megan felt her chest constrict at Liam’s words. She didn’t want to think about Matt returning to active duty. She didn’t believe he wanted to return, either, not after what he’d told her about his reasons for leaving. She understood that he operated on a strict code of values and serving his country was something he felt compelled to do. But his job had begun to affect him in a way that wasn’t good, and she gave him credit for recognizing that fact. She didn’t want him to return to active duty, but acknowledged that her reasons were purely selfish. She already thought of him as hers. The last thing she wanted was for him to return to Iraq.
“Do you think he’ll go back?” she finally asked.
Liam hesitated. “I overheard him telling the base commander that he has a meeting with some of the top brass tomorrow to talk about his options. I’m pretty sure I heard him say that he might be gone for six months.” He gave Megan a sympathetic look. “Like I said, they really want him back. He’s a valuable commodity.”
Megan didn’t look at Liam, afraid he might see how much his words affected her. For the nearly six months that she’d corresponded with Matt, he’d insisted that he couldn’t wait to get home, to get out of the military and begin life as a civilian. Not once, even as his discharge date drew near, did he ever suggest he might change his mind about that. Part of her had wanted to believe that she had something to do with his decision. Now she couldn’t help but wonder just what place she held in Matt’s future.
“Maybe you misunderstood,” she finally said. “Matt hasn’t given any indication that he intends to reenlist. In fact, he told me he has plans.”
Even if he wasn’t willing to share them with her. What had he said? I have some plans. Nothing definite yet, but I’m working on it. No matter what Liam had heard, Megan couldn’t believe Matt’s plans involved going back to Iraq.
“Maybe it has to do with the calendar deal he’s been offered,” Liam mused.
Megan frowned. “What calendar deal?”
Liam hesitated, then swore softly beneath his breath. “Damn. He hasn’t told you about it and now I’ve gone and shot my mouth off.”
“What calendar deal?” Megan repeated, leaning toward Liam.
A shadow fell across the table between them. “I’ve been invited to go to New York City to do a photo shoot for a military calendar.”
Startled, Megan looked up to see Matt standing beside them, toweling himself. Her mouth went dry at the sight of his supremely muscled physique, and she couldn’t help but stare at the strip of pale skin on his abdomen, where his swim trunks had slipped down a bit, revealing his tattoo. She swallowed hard.
“That’s great,” she replied, trying to sound enthusiastic. Inwardly, she felt hurt that Matt hadn’t shared this information with her. A calendar deal was huge, and yet he hadn’t so much as mentioned it to her. They’d shared everything through their letters—their thoughts, their
feelings, their experiences… Megan had really believed they kept no secrets from each other. He wasn’t obligated to tell her about everything going on in his life, but the knowledge that he hadn’t shared this news with her felt like a betrayal. Neither did she relish the idea of having him appear on a calendar for the enjoyment of other women.
“Just tell me it’s not one of those hunk-of-the-month calendars, where they make you pose wearing nothing but a combat helmet and a smile, with a rifle positioned oh, so strategically across your credentials.”
“Well…”
The sheepish expression on Matt’s face told her that was exactly the kind of calendar he’d been invited to pose for, and Megan felt her stomach clench at the thought of his image being ogled by hundreds of thousands of women. “Are you going to do it?”
He shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet.” Matt sat down on the bench beside Megan. “Listen, I didn’t tell you about the calendar because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, especially when I wasn’t certain it was something I wanted to do.”
“For the money they’re offering, you’d be crazy not to,” observed Liam.
Matt shook his head. “It’s not about the money. I’m just not all that comfortable taking my clothes off in front of strangers.”
He slid Megan a heated look that said he didn’t count her in that number and she felt herself go warm beneath his regard as she recalled just how anxious he’d been to peel his clothes off for her. For an instant, she forgot all about Liam and the other fairgoers, and it was just herself and Matt. A droplet of water trickled down the side of his face and slid toward his jaw, and Megan longed to capture it with her lips. Her desire must have shown in her expression, because something shifted in the air between them. Something hot and needy.
Matt broke the eye contact first. He stood up, but Megan didn’t miss how he held his towel low, in front his shorts.
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