Once you know that most people who reach the higher levels of achievement in their areas of expertise have felt the same way, you will not be so squeamish about admitting it to yourself, and even seeking it out. Soon you, like me, will be “going public.” For those who think this is absurd and “off the deep end,” send them love and stay focused on your purpose. Their skepticism is their current path, as it once was mine and yours. Be at peace with it.
• To learn new ways of relating to others, examine your behavior toward those people in your life whom you feel a need to dominate or control. Be it a spouse, children, coworkers, employees, clerks, service people, whoever, take some time to relate to them differently by seeing beyond their physical form to the fullness of God in them. This is a great exercise for shifting to a spiritual consciousness, because you will not be coming from the need to control, judge or dominate. Instead you will be attempting to empower those whom you may have previously viewed as subservient to you. Once you begin to see past the physical bodies of those around you, you will begin to relate to the very same invisible force that flows through you and them.
I started doing this with my children many years ago. I try to look at the loving thoughts that are behind their actions, to see past their faces, and their tiny selves, to the souls they house within their little bodies. When I lose the need to be powerful and controlling, I empower my children to be in control of their own lives, and I see them for what they genuinely are—little souls with bodies, who also have a purpose for being here. When I lose my need to dominate anyone, I help that person get on with his or her purposeful life, and I stay locked on my purpose as well.
• To practice a life without a focus on control, attempt to help someone do something for themselves where previously you would have instructed them how to do it. Rather than giving an order, try asking the question, “What would it take for you to prove that you can do this yourself?” Then say, “Let’s work together to make it happen.” A simple offer of assistance rather than taking over or giving an order will infuse you with authentic power instead of provoking you to rely on external power methods. This is particularly useful if you can help empower someone with whom you are in conflict.
Most conflicts arise from a need to control someone or to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong. If you can give up the need to control as well as the need to be right just once in your own private practice session, then you will be able to empower another person in a unique way. Giving up the need to dominate is at the core of being a spiritual person. Replace the search for external power with genuine authentic power, which is the ability to empower others to take control in their own lives.
• To demonstrate to yourself that you are not alone, picture yourself connected by invisible strings to everyone that you encounter. In this vision, as you move to the right, those to whom you are connected also move to the right. As you push, they go tumbling. Now when you encounter another person, imagine that connection. In this way you will begin to treat others as if they were truly a part of you. You will have a tendency to extend love and help rather than feel enmity and competition.
I have always loved the story of the man who was given a tour of heaven and hell. In hell he saw a large kettle of soup. The only utensils were a series of very large spoons. However, the handles were all longer than the arms of people, making it impossible to feed themselves. Everyone was in various stages of starvation, since they could not bend their arms. In heaven the man saw the identical scene. However, the people were all healthy and smiling and obviously well fed. When the man inquired about this he was told by his guide, “Oh, in heaven the people have learned to feed each other.” Your purpose is always found in giving to others. This is heaven on earth.
• To recognize how you’ve been taught to hate, begin to rethink the concept of enemies and hatred. Make a mental note of all the people you regard as enemies. Realize that you have been taught whom to hate and that these lessons are only a result of the geographic accident of your birth.
In recent years, Westerners were told to hate the Iranians; then they became our official friends. Then the Iraqis, who were previously our friends, became our enemies.
This goes on and on, with few people ever understanding the simple message: The enemy is hate itself. Rid yourself of this hatred and the list of people whom you are told to hate, and fill yourself with harmony. Once you know yourself and feel love within, you will extend harmony outward to all people, regardless of whom you have been taught to hate. In fact, you will never be a part of that large mass of people who are so willing to hate and kill based upon what they are told is appropriate by their government leaders.
Try to imagine that everyone—yes, all people on all sides of an issue—knows that one cannot choose up sides when living on a round planet. Imagine all people refusing to hate or have so-called enemies. You can help the world get to a peaceful place by refusing to have your own hate list, and by seeing all members of all conflicts as victims. This does not imply that you should be victimized by the ugly actions of others. It means you do not have to have hatred and killing in your heart. Reflect your understanding that we are all connected. When you reach outward in anger and hatred, you are in fact hurting not only your supposed enemy, but yourself and all humanity as well. If this message troubles you, remind yourself that it is at the core of all religions and has been encouraged by all spiritual masters since the beginning of recorded history.
• To put yourself in touch with the nonphysical universe, become comfortable with the concept of nothingness. Your thoughts come out of the silent empty space of your mind. From nothingness to a thought. From silence, you suddenly make a noise. Effect without cause, in the purely physical sense. Give yourself time to be in touch with this phenomenon of nothingness. Try emptying your mind of thought and then observe as thoughts emerge. Once you know that there is a dimension beyond the world of form that does not obey the laws of motion, you can accept the nonphysical world. You must somehow demonstrate to yourself that anything can be created out of nothing, and in fact it is happening all the time. Miracles do not need a physical cause, but you must get comfortable with the notion by allowing yourself to experience the “something out of nothing” phenomenon. You can accomplish this by realizing that you are almost totally empty space yourself. An examination of your body with a high-powered microscope shows that the physical you is nothing more than particles separated by empty space. With even stronger microscopes, you discover that those particles are also subdivided into more dancing particles separated by space. Most of what you think of as your physical body, when viewed from a different perspective, is empty space. So too is your mind a large lesson in what we have come to call nothingness.
Become familiar with this concept of nothingness and you will be in a place where you can create miracles. Keep track of your thoughts for a portion of a day, and remind yourself that they have nothing to do with what you call cause and effect. Where do they come from? Once you are comfortable with this, you will be able to see miracles coming from that same “place.”
• To put yourself in touch with your nonphysical self, remove yourself from the physical world for a brief period of time. If you can, immerse yourself in a sensory-deprivation tank, in which you lose all contact with your senses and experience only the nothingness of your mind. If you do not have access to such a setup, then quietly, within your mind, let go of each of your senses in this exercise. No touch, no taste, no hearing, no sight, no smell. As you let these senses go (as you do every night while sleeping), observe what is happening to your body. The more you are able to let go of your attachment to your body through your all-knowing, all-powerful mind, the less you will use your physical state as a way of assessing your life. This is called getting in touch with your true self, your invisible self, and it is the key to becoming a spiritual being.
• To keep your focus on purpose rather than outcome, keep your mind, body and soul totally in
the moment of your activity. Six million people play tennis every single day in America; three million of these people do not win. Does this mean there are three million losers every day? In all of your activities, stop and ask yourself, “Truly, why am I doing this?” You will find that the outcome (the win, the reward) is just as fleeting as the moments you participate in the activity. Stay on purpose in your activities, rather than focusing on the ultimate reward. The wins and losses will still arrive, yet you will find yourself on automatic pilot. Though you may plateau for a while, ultimately you will automatically move to a higher level. Become detached from the outcome of your actions and paradoxically your level of performance will climb.
• To rid yourself of a preoccupation with valueless things, rethink your attitude about your possessions. Make an inventory of everything you own. Is there anything in that inventory that you would die for? Now think about your values, your ideals, your loved ones, and ask yourself the very same question. You know what your priorities are, and they all have to do with what you think and believe, not with what you own. Detach yourself from those possessions, and get your life on purpose, which is to say, make the daily thoughts and actions of your life work toward that which matters to you in the truest sense. You are here for a reason, and it is not to hoard a lot of physical stuff. You came here without that stuff and you will leave without any of it. What will linger is how you served your ideals and those with whom you came in contact. Stay on purpose and you will find yourself automatically shifting to a spiritual focus in your life.
• To conduct yourself on a spiritual plane, begin living one day at a time emphasizing ethics rather than rules. Inventory all the rules that you follow so emphatically. Rather than conducting your life according to someone else’s rules, try having an “ethics day” for yourself. Base all of your behavior—including your eating, dressing, working, home life, everything that you do on that day—on ethics rather than rules. Ask yourself what is the moral, purposeful, loving thing to do, not what the rules are. In this way you will shift your consciousness away from outcome and toward purpose. Keep in mind that some of the most despicable human behavior has been conducted in the name of “I’m only following the laws.” The laws told black people to sit in the back of the bus, the laws said women could not vote, the laws said owning a submachine gun was fine. People who live by ethics have moved away from arcane victimizing rules. Be that kind of person. For a day. Get yourself away from the rules and live ethically, regardless of what the rules have to say.
• To become more peaceful with yourself and the world, give yourself a quiet time alone daily for one week. This is extremely important and something that you will quite likely resist. I encourage you to give yourself this wonderful present and a ticket to real magic at the same time. The best time is early in the morning after a brisk shower and before anyone else arises. Set aside thirty minutes to be alone and peacefully go within and quiet your mind. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and simply focus on emptying your mind and becoming intensely aware of your breathing. You will soon note that you are becoming more peaceful, and even if you get nothing more out of it, you will find that this is an enormous aid in reducing stress and tension in your life. If you stay with it and follow some of the tips I write about in the next chapter, I absolutely, emphatically guarantee that you will discover a part of yourself that will provide you with all of the loving guidance you need in every single area of your life. More than anything else, meditation will shatter the illusion of your separateness.
• To befriend and cultivate your intuition, treat those inner proddings that crop up in your mind as welcome guests instead of labeling them nothing but random hunches. Try stopping yourself during your next intuitive episode, whatever it is about, and make a mental note of what is taking place. Now, instead of ignoring it, or pushing it out, ask that intuitive part of yourself, “Why am I being pushed by my mind in this direction?” Develop a dialogue with that intuitive voice and simply note what you learn or what happens in the next few days as a result. By learning to have internal dialogues you will begin trusting your intuition and ultimately discover its loving presence and valuable contribution to your mind. Consider this ancient story:
Two monks were arguing about the temple flag. One said the flag moved, the other said the wind moved. Master Eno … overheard them and said, “It is neither the wind nor the flag, but your mind that moves.” The monks were speechless.
The next time you have an intuitive notion that you are tempted to ignore, choose to follow its lead. You must learn to cultivate the habit of trusting your intuition. Notice the outcome of that intuitive action. Begin to notice all the beneficial results that flow into your life when you follow your intuitive voice. Those inner conversations that you have, those debates about what to do and which course to take, can best be resolved by simply asking, “What is the choice that will keep me on purpose?” Then go in that direction one step at a time. Before long, your intuition will become your most trusted companion, one that you will value and celebrate as it surfaces within your mind.
• To stay focused on what you are for in life rather than what you are against, inventory everything in your life that you are opposed to and then reword your list to reflect what you are for. Rather than being against evil, be for love. Replace being against your child’s bad study habits with being for a self-disciplined young person. As you shift your thoughts away from what you oppose, you will shift your inclination away from fighting those things and to supporting that which is on your “for” list. This is an excellent method for eliminating much of the inner turmoil and stress that surfaces from your fight list. Remember, all that you fight weakens you, all that you support empowers you.
• To develop a loving, empowering attitude toward yourself, restate everything that you dislike about who you are in positive, affirmative ways. Instead of being against your laziness, be for having more energy. By being for your energy, you will take actions correcting your laziness. By being against your laziness, you will stay angry and upset with yourself and thus weaken your resolve to change. This is true of your weight, your addictions, your entire physiology and all of your “bad habits.” Restate them in terms of what you are for and what you are capable of, and you will automatically empower yourself to correct them.
• To enter a state of enlightenment, spend some time every day in awe. Yes—in total, complete awe. Be thankful for your liver, your hands, your brain and your invisible, incomprehensively awesome mind. Be in awe of the very fact that you showed up here, particularly when you consider the mathematical odds. Observe the functions of your body and the trillions of cells that all work together to make you function. This sense of awe is something to practice daily. The air you breathe, the water you take for granted, the food that grows from infinitesimal seeds to nourish you. The atmosphere, the ozone, all of it. Be thankful and appreciative and also feel a sense of responsibility to your universe. Treat all life with reverence and awe, and know that it is all working purposefully. A few minutes a day in total awe will contribute to your spiritual awakening faster than any metaphysics course. Enlightenment is simply the silent acceptance and appreciation for what is. In this very moment you can get into that state of mind, by being thankful for the mind and the tools to read these words, and realizing how magnificently they are working. Be in awe and be enlightened. Be enlightened and miracles will be your way of life.
• To move past anger and bitterness, in your mind isolate one person such as you feel has wronged you at some time in your life, someone who has not repaid a long overdue debt. Perhaps an ex-spouse who left or abused you in some way, a parent or a long-lost love who jilted you. Isolate this one person in your thoughts. Now, just for a few moments, instead of feeling hate and bitterness, try to imagine yourself sending them love. Try to grasp the idea that they came into your life to help you learn a lesson, and no matter how painful the lesson, they showed up in your life for a purpose. When you
are able to send them love instead of hate, you will not only be healing yourself, you will be on your way to becoming a spiritual person.
Think of a wrong that was done to you as being like a snake bite. When you are bitten by a snake there are two sources of pain. One is the bite itself, which cannot be unbitten. It happened, it hurt and you have the mark to prove it. You then go on from there and learn how to avoid snakes in your life. The second source of pain is the venom that is now circulating through you. This is the killer. No one has ever died from a snake bite—it is the aftershock of the venom circulating in the body that is fatal. So it is with hatred and forgiveness. The event happened. It cannot unhappen in your physical world. But the killer is the hatred and anger that continue to circulate in your system like venom, long after the bite wound has healed and disappeared. You, and only you, have the power to send that killer venom out of you; that it is still present within you is your choice. Remember the sage words of Buddha, “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” Miracle making is impossible to experience when your insides are poisoned by bitterness toward others.
Begin today affirming, “I know I have the power within me to create a life of fulfillment and joy. I am a miracle and therefore I am a creator of miracles.” One primary message in this chapter explains how to become a spiritual being having a human experience, rather than a human being having a spiritual experience. This chapter can also be summarized in the words of a simple man, who traveled the country in the early twentieth century speaking folk wisdom. Will Rogers reminded us all: “So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” Good spiritual advice indeed!
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