Had he been wrong? Suddenly, the interior of the church closed in on him. Heat radiated from deep within him.
He needed fresh air, now. He leaned over his daughters and caught Ellie’s attention. Heading outside, he mouthed.
She nodded, but said nothing. She didn’t need to respond. Caleb was fully confident she would take care of his daughters in his absence.
This wasn’t the first time he’d noticed how attuned Ellie was to him, and he to her. He’d dismissed their easy camaraderie to their long-standing friendship.
Now, as he climbed to his feet and made his way down the center aisle, he wondered if he’d been wrong about that, as well.
Was his bond with Ellie based on something more than friendship, something deep and lasting and constant?
Was he in love with Ellie?
Something the reverend said had him pausing at the door, looking back over his shoulder. “If love has to be earned, it isn’t love at all.”
Struck speechless, Caleb quickly left the church.
*
Ellie watched the door click shut behind Caleb. She wanted to go after him, but he’d left her in charge of his daughters.
Casting a final glance at the empty foyer, she returned her attention to the sermon.
She closed her eyes and drew in an unsteady breath. It was as if her father was speaking directly to her. Perhaps he was. Just last night she’d told him why she’d come home. She’d included all of the humiliating details, ending with her doomed relationship with Monroe.
Ellie attempted to listen to the sermon, but half her mind was on Caleb and the look in his eyes when he’d left their pew.
The sermon must have struck a chord with him, as surely as it had with her. What else explained his swift departure?
When Caleb didn’t return, not even for the final hymn, Ellie started to worry. Hoping he’d gone on ahead to her father’s house, she ushered the girls outside then through the back door of the parsonage. She was helping them out of their coats when Caleb joined them.
He moved around Ellie and, without looking directly at her, greeted his daughters. In the confines of the tiny space, she was aware of his masculine presence, of the differences in their sizes—her petite frame to his taller, stronger build.
As if sensing her eyes on him, he glanced her way and gave an easy smile. Her breath snagged on a skittering rush of air.
There was something different in his eyes, something new and solely for her. Her heart burst with hope. There was also a looseness in his stance. He seemed easier in his skin.
Unable to look away, Ellie studied Caleb’s face a moment longer. He really was different, freer, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
Smiling into her eyes, he sent the girls inside the house.
Ellie attempted to follow but he stopped her progress with a hand on her arm. “Can we talk?”
“Of course. Here? Or somewhere else?”
“Wherever we can’t be overheard.”
What he had to say must be serious; she saw it in his gaze, heard it in his voice. The tiny thread of hope flared fully to life.
“The porch,” she decided. Still dressed in her cloak, she led him back outside and around to the front of the house.
He held silent on the short journey.
People bustled by on the planked sidewalk. Some waved, others called out a greeting, but most hurried on their way, paying them no mind. Ellie supposed this was as alone as they would get. If they kept their voices down it should suffice.
“You wished to speak with me?” she prompted.
“Your father’s sermon today…it’s gotten me to thinking.”
Eaten alive with hope, yet afraid to let herself give in to the emotion, Ellie held perfectly still. “The sermon resonated with me, as well.”
Caleb’s eyes widened ever-so-slightly. “That surprises me.”
“I don’t see why.”
“I always thought you knew everything there was to know about love.”
She nearly snorted. “Hardly.”
Swiftly, yet gently, he took her hand. “Tell me what happened in Colorado Springs.”
The abrupt change in subject would have seemed ill-timed if she were speaking to anyone else. But this was Caleb. He knew her well, better than most. Of course he would make the correct leap from a sermon on love to her unexpected return home. “It’s not a very happy tale.”
“Ellie.” Her name slipped out of him almost without sound. “Someone hurt you, a man.”
Cheeks heating from remembered shame, she pulled her hand free and lowered her head. “Yes.”
“Tell me what happened.”
The request was so Caleb, spoken softly, and full of tenderness without a hint of judgment. The pain in her heart released ever-so-slightly.
Tentatively, she reached out and touched his broad, capable shoulder in a vague, barely there gesture. Still, her fingers tingled inside her gloves. She dropped her hand and closed it into a fist. “There was a man, a widowed preacher with three young daughters. He showed interest in me almost as soon as I arrived in town.”
“You returned his feelings.”
How to answer? With the truth, of course. She took a very tiny pull of air. “Not at first, no.”
She went on to explain how her lack of interest hadn’t deterred Monroe. He’d been relentless in his attempt to court her. “My affection for his daughters eventually spilled onto the father.”
“So you grew to like him.”
She nodded.
“Then why didn’t you marry him?”
“He asked. I accepted. All seemed well for a time. But he withdrew his marriage proposal when I told him about Everett’s incarceration. I didn’t intentionally hide the information, though that’s what he claimed.”
In the span of a heartbeat, Caleb’s expression went from confused to furious. “This so-called preacher, this man of God, took back his proposal because Everett is locked up in the Wyoming Territorial Prison?”
She fought off another wave of humiliation. “Basically, yes.”
Caleb’s lips flattened into a hard line. “He didn’t love you.”
“I realize that now. My father’s sermon helped clarify my suspicions.” A sigh leaked past her lips. “Now you know why I won’t settle for a marriage of convenience. I want my husband to love me enough to stand by me no matter the obstacles.”
“Ellie, you deserve nothing less. You deserve to be loved completely, unceasingly and without conditions.”
She sighed.
“Listen to me.” He cupped her cheek with his palm. His expression was unguarded, and so full of affection that Ellie lost her ability to breathe easily.
“Ellie, dear, sweet, beautiful Ellie, your husband should love you with all that he has inside him. He should stand by you always, in good times and bad, no matter what comes your way.”
“Yes, Caleb, that’s precisely the kind of husband I want.” It was the kind of husband he could be, if he’d let himself love a woman with the same devotion he did his daughters.
Ellie nearly said as much, but Betsy chose that moment to poke her head around the front door. “Ah, there you two are. Dinner is on the table.”
Hating that she’d left the other woman to serve the meal alone, Ellie headed for the door.
As he had earlier, Caleb stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Monroe Tipton didn’t deserve you.”
Her father had said much the same thing last night. It had taken her a while, but she’d come to the same conclusion. “No, he didn’t.”
She tried to head inside, again. Again, Caleb wouldn’t let her go. “I have more to say.”
“All right.” With eyebrows lifted, she waited for him to continue.
He opened his mouth, but seemed to reconsider and shut it again. “What I have to say is too important to rush through it. We’ll speak again after we eat.”
By the look in his eyes, she sensed whatever he had to say would change h
er life forever. Ellie had never been more excited, more nervous, or more impatient for a conversation to unfold.
Chapter Thirteen
Sunday dinner at the Wainwrights’ had always brought Caleb a sense of belonging. In this home, he’d learned the very essence of family. He’d felt safe here, comforted. He’d done his best to replicate their example in his own home. But he’d always felt as though he’d fallen short, especially in the months since Lizzie’s death.
In the past few weeks, with Ellie in his life, the possibility of having a real family, and a loving home, had become more than a far-off dream.
He knew what he wanted now.
He wanted Ellie to be his wife, in every sense of the word.
Friendship would never be enough. He’d been wrong to think he could settle for something so benign. He loved Ellie, as a man loved his wife.
“Caleb?” She leaned in close. “Are you all right?”
He was more than all right. He was free of the past. Free to step into the future with this woman by his side.
If she would have him.
Smiling, his heart bursting with love, he said, “All good on my end.”
“Are you certain?” She looked pointedly at his full plate. “You’re not eating.”
Still smiling, he picked up his fork and shoveled in a bite of potatoes. When he finished chewing, he asked, “Better?”
She laughed softly. “Much.”
Near the end of the meal, Hannah asked Brody, “Want to play jacks with my sister and me?”
The boy frowned at the question, no doubt trying to come up with an appropriate reason to avoid what most boys thought of as a girl’s game. “How about tin soldiers?” he suggested.
“Whatever you want to play.” Grace nudged her sister with her elbow. “Let him pick the game.”
Hannah shrugged. “Okay, sure. Tin soldiers sounds…fun.”
Once they were given permission to leave the table, the three sped out of the room. By unspoken agreement, Caleb and Ellie took over cleanup detail.
This, Caleb thought as he made a second pass around the table and grabbed a handful of dirty dishes, this is the future I want, sharing Sunday dinner with the people I love.
He would ask Ellie to marry him this very afternoon.
The moment the dishes were cleaned and put away, he took Ellie’s hands in his. “Come outside with me a moment. I have something I want to ask you.”
“Oh, my, that sounds ominous.”
The look of amusement on her face moved through him, bringing certainty. How he loved this woman with all his heart. Why had he resisted for so long?
No more. He wouldn’t let another day pass without letting Ellie know how he felt.
Following her to the back of the house, he helped her into her cloak, donned his own coat and then escorted her outside.
They walked a few moments in silence. Now that the time had come to propose, Caleb worried he wouldn’t get the words right.
Even more disconcerting, what if she turned him down again?
“Ellie.” He drew her to a stop and pulled her a step closer, near enough to smell the hint of wild orchid wafting off her. The scent of the woman he loved. “I’m glad I have you in my life. I never want to lose you.”
Her eyes widened. “What…what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I finally understand what love is.”
“Well, of course you know what love is.” She laughed, the rich, husky sound solely hers. “I’ve seen you with your daughters. You, Caleb Voss, have endless bounties of love in your heart. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Her confidence in him brought certainty to his heart and a slice of wonder to his soul. “You’ve taught me that love, the kind between a man and a woman, doesn’t have to hurt, or bring pain and disappointment or end in heartache.”
Her eyes softened, then turned thoughtful, as if she was trying to put a puzzle together but couldn’t quite make the pieces fit. “Your marriage to Lizzie… I gather it was not a happy one.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
In a halting tone, he shared the torture of living with Lizzie’s mood shifts and her penchant for running away when matters grew tense.
“Oh, Caleb.”
“Not every argument ended with her abandoning me and the girls. But the threat was always there.”
Sympathy washed over Ellie’s features. “That must have been incredibly stressful on all of you, especially the girls. Oh, Caleb. They must have been so worried when their mother up and disappeared.”
“I tried to protect them from the worst of it.”
“Surely they sensed all was not right and that it wasn’t normal for a mother to leave home without warning.”
“I’m not sure how much they remember.”
“Probably more than they should.” She shook her head sadly. “No wonder you want to provide them with a calm, stable home.”
“I’m glad you understand.”
“Of course I understand. Lizzie’s erratic behavior is why you’re seeking a marriage of convenience.”
He nodded. “In my experience, which granted, is limited, love brings chaos and pain.”
“That’s not love, Caleb. I don’t know what it is, but it’s not love, not the kind the Lord intended between a husband and a wife.”
“I know that now.”
“I’m glad.” She moved a step closer, so near that if he lowered his head just a bit their lips would touch. He wanted this woman to be his wife. He wanted to love her till the end of time.
He stared at her without blinking, half fearing if he closed his eyes, even for a split second, she would disappear. “Ellie, I want you to know I care for you deeply.”
No, that wasn’t what he’d meant to say.
She lifted on her toes and pressed her lips to his. When she stepped back, she gave him three simple words that were already in his heart. “I love you, Caleb.”
“Ah, Ellie, I lo—”
“Wait.” She placed her fingertips to his mouth. “Before you respond, let me have my say first.”
He’d rather finish telling her he loved her, but this seemed very important to her. “All right, I’m listening.”
“I will always consider you my friend, Caleb, but friendship will never be enough. I want so much more from you.”
“I want more, as well.”
“Oh, Caleb, truly?”
“Truly. Ellie, will you…” He paused, looked around, realized they were standing on the planked sidewalk in front of the church. It seemed appropriate they’d stopped walking at this specific spot.
“I need to do this right.” He pulled her beneath the overhang. “Ellie Wainwright, you make me want to be a better man, the man you deserve. You make me want to live life to the fullest. I can’t imagine any other woman by my side.”
He took her hand, started to lower to one knee, but a movement off to his left caught his eye and he made the mistake of hesitating.
“Sheriff Voss. Sheriff Voss, something quite wonderful has happened.”
Shoulders tense, he looked in the direction of the voice. Mrs. Jenson was bearing down on him and Ellie. And she wasn’t alone. She had a young woman with her.
“Your troubles are over.”
Dread tumbled in his gut. Mrs. Jenson had her hand clamped around the younger woman’s wrist and was all but dragging her across the street.
“I have brought someone you will want to meet at once.”
His heart sank.
No, Lord, please, no.
In silent desperation, he studied the young woman. She was certainly the right age to be Sadie Taylor. She was pretty, to be sure, with coal-black hair, fair skin and pale blue eyes. But she wasn’t nearly as beautiful as his Ellie.
Ellie had grown deathly still beside him. He cut a quick glance in her direction, winced at the stillness that had come over her. Her face gave nothing away but he could feel her sorrow. It matched his own.
Mrs. Jen
son hurried up the walkway. Given little choice, her companion stumbled along after her. “Good news, Sheriff Voss. Your future bride was able to leave her position in Blue Springs sooner than expected.”
Everything inside Caleb froze at the way Ellie stiffened beside him.
“I’ll leave you three alone.” Ellie’s tortured voice sliced him at the core.
This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not when he knew exactly what he wanted, and who.
“Oh, hello, Ellie.” Mrs. Jenson dropped a perfunctory smile in her direction. “In my excitement, I didn’t see you standing there.”
“H-hello, Mrs. Jenson.” Ellie dropped her gaze to her toes.
Ignoring everyone but the woman he loved, Caleb attempted to take Ellie’s hand. He needed to tell her how he felt, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
She shifted out of his reach. Head still lowered, she fumbled out an excuse about her father needing her inside.
“Ellie, wait. Don’t leave yet.”
He was talking to her back.
He started out after her, but Mrs. Jenson was not to be deterred.
“Sheriff Voss, I’d like you to meet your bride, Sadie Taylor.”
Caleb forced a smile for the young woman’s benefit. His change of heart wasn’t her fault.
“Mrs. Taylor.” He held her gaze without wavering. “There’s been a change in plans.”
*
Ellie hurried into her father’s house. She found the girls sitting on the floor in the living room, playing jacks with a clearly reluctant, albeit patient, Brody. One or both of them must have convinced him to try the game.
The three children looked like a family. They would have become a family, if Ellie had married Caleb.
She briefly closed her eyes against the sorrow pounding through her blood and swallowed back tears. She would not cry. She would…not…cry.
She’d known this day was coming. Caleb had warned her. And yet, for a brief, hope-filled moment, she’d believed all would work out. He seemed ready to propose again. This time for all the right reasons. No, he hadn’t actually said he loved her, but she sensed he’d been on the verge of pledging his heart.
Now, she would never hear Caleb say I love you. Not in the way a husband said the words to his wife.
Love Inspired Historical October 2015 Box Set Page 56