Cookie barreled down on him, enfolded him in her motherly arms and whacked his back hard enough to make most men stumble. But he’d learned to be ready for her greeting. “Where were you last week?” she asked. “We missed you.” She’d already seen him and greeted him at breakfast, but that didn’t stop her from repeating herself. She didn’t wait for him to answer as Seth and Jayne entered, and she turned her attention to them.
“Howdy, Blue.” Seth held out a hand, and the two shook.
A steady stream of people started to file in. Finally, Eddie and Linette entered with Grady and the girls behind them. Clara brought up the rear.
Blue hoped he managed to keep his smile narrow, revealing none of the gladness that tingled along his nerves.
Her gaze skimmed the group until she found him. She acknowledged his presence with a small smile, but the brightness of her eyes said she was as happy to see him as he was to see her. Was she remembering yesterday’s kiss? Wondering what it meant? Where they went from here?
He went to her side. “Good morning.”
She took in his outfit, and her eyes smiled approval. “Good morning.”
“Company.” Cookie bore down on them.
Blue grabbed Clara’s arms, prepared to hold her against Cookie’s onslaught.
“I’m Cookie. And you’re Clara Weston.” She hugged Clara and patted her back.
Then Cookie turned to the girls.
Eleanor shrank back, but Libby stepped forward and gave her name.
Cookie cupped Libby’s face between her palms. “What a sweet face.”
Libby glowed under the praise, then moved aside as Cookie waited for Eleanor to step forward.
“And what’s your name, sweet thing?”
“Eleanor. And how do you know I’m sweet?”
Clara looked about to scold her daughter for such a bold question, but Cookie’s laugh made talk impossible.
“Why, all I have to do is look at your face, see the gentleness in your eyes and I know.” She pulled both girls to her and hugged them. Surprisingly gently, Blue noted.
“So nice to have you all here.” She hurried away to bear-hug the latest cowboys to enter.
Blue took Clara and the girls around and introduced them to the crowd, wondering how many of them she’d remember. Then he led them to a space on one of the benches. The place was crowded, forcing them to sit in a tight spot. He pulled the girls to his knees and smiled down at Clara pressed to his side.
At her trusting smile, his heart filled with hope. He would not allow himself to say what he hoped for.
Bertie and Cookie went to the front, and Cookie led them in a hymn. Never before had the familiar tune and words meant more as Clara sang to his left with a clear bell-like voice, and Eleanor sang on his right knee. She knew every word.
Libby did her best to sing along, too.
For the first time in two years, Blue felt the meaning of the hymn in the depths of his heart. Savior, like a shepherd lead us, much we need Thy tend’rest care; in Thy pleasant pastures feed us, for our use Thy folds prepare.
Then Bertie stood before them. “I know you’re all cowboys or wives of cowboys.” His gaze rested on Clara. “And if you don’t fit either category, I expect you’ve seen enough of cowboys to understand what I’m about to say.” He swept his eyes over the entire gathering. “I know you all don’t often give sheep much thought. Maybe you even think of them as stupid creatures. But God often refers to His people as sheep.” He read the Twenty-Third Psalm. “‘He restoreth my soul.’ There was a time I was a poor lost sheep. Life seemed so empty and meaningless. But God found me. More than that, He restored my soul. He prepared a feast of good things. He promised me goodness and mercy all the days of my life.”
The words burrowed into Blue’s mind. Could he be restored? Able to face life again? More than that, embrace it? Could he feel secure enough to share his life with others?
He leaned a little to the left, and Clara responded by pressing into his arm. He hugged the girls closer, and they snuggled against his chest.
Maybe, just maybe, he could open his heart a little.
The service ended. Cookie brought out tea, coffee and hot chocolate and passed around her cinnamon rolls.
She waited as Clara bit into one.
Clara sighed. “These are the best I’ve ever tasted.”
Cookie grinned, and many of the others chuckled.
Blue looked about, wondering if there was some acceptable way to get Clara to himself so they could talk. And, yes, maybe kiss again, at least once or maybe twice. But before he could devise a way of extracting them from this crowd, Linette rose awkwardly, her large belly making movement difficult.
“You’re all invited up the hill for dinner. It will be ready in a couple of hours.”
Sybil, Cassie, Mercy and Jayne jumped to their feet. “We’ll help you.”
“I will, too,” Clara said and took the girls to follow the general departure.
Blue sat back, hoping his disappointment wasn’t obvious.
“I’ll be right along,” Eddie said. “We menfolk will watch the children.”
Blue remained seated as the husbands prepared to leave.
“You, too, Blue,” Eddie said.
Blue normally didn’t join those going for dinner, but this time he would endure the talk of so many people so he could be close to Clara and her daughters. With a great deal more eagerness than he’d known in a long, long time, he joined the trek up the hill.
Eddie led the men into the front room, where they settled in for a visit with the children playing nearby.
Seth leaned forward over his knees. “How long is this fair weather going to last? I don’t mind saying I expect a snowstorm any day.”
A snowstorm? Would that keep Clara here, or would she leave and be caught in one? Another reason she must stay. Or he must go with her.
The men considered the weather and talked of the cattle.
When a lull came, Blue spoke. “Has anyone seen a stranger around?”
Abel, who had married pretty little Mercy and lived a few miles away, nodded. “Big man. Dark hat. Would that be who you mean?”
“Might be.” Blue would have described him in a similar fashion.
“I saw him riding the trail toward the upper pastures.”
Eddie turned to Blue. “Are you worried about him for some reason?”
“He rides in and out of town as if looking for someone but never talks to anyone or asks after any person.”
“Huh.” Eddie shrugged. “Lots of mountain men around here who have little to do with others.”
“That’s so, but this man strikes me as a bit different.” Blue would not speak a word of Clara’s reason for being concerned. “Just thought I’d mention it.”
Eddie nodded. “Never hurts to keep our eyes open. We know that from other times.”
The men nodded agreement. Too often a stranger on the trail meant danger to someone they cared about. A villain had followed Eddie’s sister, Jayne, all the way from England and had kidnapped her. Good thing Seth had taught her how to use a gun. She was able to injure the man and escape.
Then there was Brand’s family—an outlaw gang that had caused all manner of trouble. There’d been others, too—rustlers, petty thieves, troublemakers.
The best thing for Clara and the girls would be to stay on the ranch, where they were surrounded by people willing to protect them. He’d convince her of the fact first chance he got.
It would mean returning to town alone. Finishing up the pews by himself.
He shrugged off a sense of melancholy. It had always been his plan to be alone. Why should he feel sad about it now?
The women announced the meal was ready, and they all gathered around the table. Blue sat with Libby between him and Clara. Eleanor sat on Clara’s other side.
He wondered what he’d say in the midst of more than two dozen people, but he needn’t have worried. There was a continual hum of talk around him.
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Clara laughed and commented when spoken to directly, but she, too, had little to add to the conversations that included more about the weather and Christmas plans.
Was she overwhelmed? Or simply being cautious about revealing too much about herself? He could have told her that these people would protect her from her father or any dark stranger.
By the time dessert was served, he was more than ready to find a quiet spot to share with Clara.
When the meal was over, she got to her feet. “Girls, help clean up.”
Blue reluctantly followed the men back to the other room. As they talked, all he could do was count the minutes until Clara entered the room. It seemed an eternity before the women joined them.
He rose and said to Clara, “It’s time to go back to town.”
“Oh, but we haven’t had a good visit yet,” Linette protested. “Clara has been telling me about the girls as babies. I’m very interested. I know what.” She looked pleased with herself. “Clara, why don’t you and the girls stay here? I’d appreciate your company and your wisdom.”
Blue held his breath as he waited for Clara’s answer.
“I couldn’t,” she said. “But thank you.”
Linette gave a disappointed smile. “If you change your mind, you’re always welcome.”
Blue rose. “Clara, do you mind leaving the girls here for a moment so you and I can take a little walk?”
Every adult eye turned to him. He felt their surprise. But it didn’t matter. He had to talk to Clara.
*
Clara donned her coat and accompanied Blue outdoors. Did he want to again walk up the hill to the little grove of trees where they’d kissed? She wouldn’t object if he did.
She smiled with anticipation as he led her past the buildings, across the little bridge and by the pens. Pigs oinked in one pen. Cattle lounged in another.
They climbed the hill. She was content to think of what waited for them at the top. Not just some trees and a nice view, but memories of their kiss and anticipation of another.
They reached the top, and he leaned against a tree and drew her close.
“Did you enjoy your day at the ranch?” He smiled down at her, causing her heart to flutter against her ribs.
She nodded and smiled, her gaze riveted to his.
“It’s a good place to live,” he said.
“I see that. I never imagined women could be treated like equals, and yet they are here.”
“It’s the kind of place where you belong.”
“The kind of place I can only dream of.”
He drifted his fingers through the hair above her ear, sending little pulses of pleasure along her nerves. Making it difficult to think straight.
“You don’t have to dream any longer. You can stay here.”
His words reached her ears, but it took seconds longer for her brain to accept them. “What?”
He repeated the words. “You can stay here.” And he smiled as if it was the best news ever. “You’d be safe.”
She drew back, forcing him to drop his arms to his sides.
He scrubbed his lips together before he spoke. “You yourself acknowledged how the woman here are accepted as equals, didn’t you?”
“I did. But you mistake my admiration for capitulation. I am not staying here. I am going back to town.”
“Plans can change.” His voice had deepened. Did it mean frustration that she wouldn’t heed his wishes or…did he really care? But how could he care and still ask her to give up her plans?
“I have to do what I have to do whether or not you understand.”
He straightened and took two steps away to look out at the rolling hills. “I certainly don’t understand.”
She lifted a hand, wanting to pull him back. Wanting him to appreciate her reasons. But when he turned to her, his face was gouged with disapproval, and she lowered her hand to her side.
“What are you trying to prove?” The words were gravelly as if he forced them from a tight throat.
She drew herself up as tall as she could and pushed her chin out. “That I can manage on my own. How else can I prove to my father that I’m capable?”
His eyes narrowed, and the look he gave her made her wrap her arms about herself. “I thought you wanted to keep the girls. Now you say it’s to prove yourself to your father.”
She lifted her hands in defeat. “They’re the same thing. Why are you twisting what I say?”
His eyebrows went up. “Are they?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Are you doing what’s best for them or fighting a battle between you and your father?”
“Blue, what’s the matter with you? Why can’t you see one is the same as the other?”
He shook his head hard. “No, it isn’t. You are being ridiculously stubborn.”
“And you think you must protect me.” She leaned closer. “I am not your wife. My girls are not your daughters. I’ll look after them.” She turned and stormed down the hill, not caring if he followed or not. She called over her shoulder, “And I will go back to town whether you take me or I get someone else to.”
She paused before she reached the pens and turned around to confront him, but he remained where she’d left him. At the look of anguish on his face and the way his hands curled into fists at his sides, she forgot what she meant to say.
The words she spoken to him had been cruel. Oh, Blue. She marched back to his side. “Blue, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Can you forgive me?” She pressed her hand to his arm, but he shied away.
“There’s nothing to forgive.” There was a shrug in his voice.
Regret burned through her veins and seared every corner of her heart. How could they have gone from a tender kiss yesterday to this hard, unforgiving place today?
“I’ll take you back to town.” His words couldn’t convey withdrawal any clearer.
“Thank you.” If only she could take back the hurt she’d caused. But words, once spoken, were impossible to unspeak.
Chapter Fifteen
Blue brought the wagon to the house, lifted the girls to the back, helped Clara to the seat, said goodbye and thanked Eddie and Linette, but every action, every word seemed to come from a cold, distant spot.
Linette gave him a questioning look as she patted his arm. “Nice of you to come. I’m looking forward to next time you bring Clara and the girls.”
There’d be no next time, but he didn’t bother to tell her that. Instead, he perched beside Clara, careful not to touch her, and headed for town.
He should never have let himself grow fond of her and the girls. He’d warned himself against it numerous times. He should likely thank Clara for reminding him of the need to keep to himself. From now on, he’d keep it firmly in mind.
For the most part, the trip to town was taken in silence.
Twice Clara turned to him. “Blue, I—”
Both times, he’d held up his hand to stop her. “Enough has been said.”
She’d glanced back at the girls and thankfully decided not to pursue the subject.
When they reached the church, he turned the wagon past it and pulled up at the Mortons’. He lifted the girls down, then helped Clara to the ground. Recognizing how fragile his determination was, he avoided meeting her eyes. She tried to catch his hand, but he pulled away.
He climbed back to the wagon seat. “Tell Bonnie I won’t be back for supper.”
Clara reached for him. “Blue, please.”
He drove away. Told himself he didn’t hear Libby demanding to know why he was leaving.
They’d soon enough forget they’d ever met him.
He returned the wagon to the livery barn and tromped back to the church to saddle his horse. He swung to the back of the animal, keeping his gaze away from the shack. He couldn’t help hearing a thin sound coming from that direction. Was Clara explaining to the girls why he’d left so suddenly? He imagined Libby and Eleanor might protest.
He urged the horse to the street. Wher
e was he going? What was he going to do?
Part of him wanted to ride west and disappear into the mountains. He could find a trapper’s shack and spend the winter hunting for food.
But he couldn’t leave as long as that man was hanging about. Perhaps he was already gone.
One way to find out.
He rode out of town to the west, then turned on the north fork. He rode slowly. Anyone observing him would think he was a man with no purpose, no destination, but he was alert to any sign of the mysterious stranger.
After a bit, he glimpsed a horse in the shelter of some trees, almost hidden from view. Same place where he’d seen the man a couple of nights ago. Same horse. He needed no further proof the man was still around.
Blue rode on awhile longer, then turned aside and dismounted. He hunkered down on the bank overlooking the river.
What was he going to do?
He snorted. Was it only this morning he had listened to the words “He restoreth my soul” and thought it was time to start over?
How could a few words have given him so much hope but for such a short time?
His thoughts came back again and again to the same thing. He’d accused Clara of fighting the wrong battle—one to prove something to her father when she should be fighting for the girls and her own freedom.
Was he guilty of the same mistake? Fighting the wrong battle?
For two years, he’d fought for aloneness and forgetfulness.
It no longer seemed a worthwhile battle.
But what was?
He snorted again, making his horse jerk his head up.
The answer was as plain as the nose on his face. One he’d already committed to.
He’d go back to Edendale and take care of Clara and the girls.
If they wouldn’t stay at the ranch where he’d feel reasonably certain they were safe, he’d make sure they got on the stagecoach and he’d go with them.
*
Clara was relieved when it was time to tuck the girls into bed. They’d been full of questions about why Blue had left so suddenly. Questions she couldn’t answer satisfactorily. Finally, they gave up on that topic and turned to recounting every detail of the visit to the ranch.
Love Inspired Historical October 2015 Box Set Page 83