Chase was stunned.
"Say something," Lila screamed, stomping her foot. "Fucking explain yourself right now!"
Chase's eyes narrowed. "Uh... I'd love to... I'd be happy to, Lila, if I had any idea what the hell you were talking about." He was struggling to keep his cool but with every octave her voice rose the anxiety he felt made a sharp jump, as well.
"Don't do that. Don't play stupid with me."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Chase said with a frustrated finality, as if he were talking to a three year old, his eyes catching fire.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Lila raised the two photos that were crunched in a tight hold at her side up to his eyes. She shook them violently. "What the hell is this?"
Chase's face went white. An agonizing amount of silence hung thick in the air between them as he took in the images before him. His he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't look away.
Lila flinched. "Answer me."
Chase’s knuckles had gone white from the tight fists he clenched at his sides. Without a word, he tried to pass her but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He looked like he might catch fire right before her.
But Lila wasn't afraid, she was too angry. Her heaving breaths made her small nostrils flare as she pointed to the photos. "You took these pictures."
Chase's entire face collapsed. "What?"
"You heard me, Chase, you took them. You took them. Why?" Lila demanded.
He couldn't speak.
"Your keys were in my door. I know it was you. I know it was you, Chase, who else would it be?!"
"Okay." He shielded his face with both hands to block her from his sight completely before making his way to the door.
Lila followed and grabbed his arm, again, rearing back when he snatched it out of her grasp.
"Don't touch me,” he beamed, backing away and holding his hands up with closed eyes. "Don't touch me, Lila… Seriously? I'm about to fucking lose it on you."
Lila jolted when he raised his voice. It was the first time Chase had ever raised his voice to her, and she was naturally alarmed, but stood her ground. "How could you take a photo like this and... and hang it on my door?" A tear fell right from her eye and crashed against the carpeted floor. "That is..." She held her hands out in claws in front of her. "That is crazy, Chase."
Chase went to take a step toward her, but stopped himself, covering his mouth with his hand.
"You're really going to stand there and act like this? Who? Tell me who! Who else could have done this? Who?" Her mind was racing. He was the only one with a copy of her key. The only one who cared enough about her and Jack to have gone out of his way to take a picture. As she struggled to put the jangled pieces of this fucked up puzzle together it only made her more infuriated, but there was still a small part of her-- a very small part, that wanted to believe he didn't do it. She swallowed hard and shook her head at him. "Look, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but there is no one else..." Her mind and her heart were at serious odds, and she felt like her brain was caving in on her. "Just tell me you didn't do this, Chase, and I'll believe you. Okay?"
Chase was horrified as the truth of the situation came crashing in around him. He tried to respond to her, but the emotions eating him alive at that moment was making it impossible to speak. An inaudible sputter escaped his full lips but that was all he could manage.
Lila shook her head. "Just tell me you didn't do it."
Chase took one step away from her, then another, as if she was covered in deadly toxins, before turning his back to her and snatching the door open.
Lila watched him go in shock.
---
"Of course he did it," Tracy beamed.
"You didn't see the look on his face, Trace," Lila said while staring at her best friend over the bowl of salad she'd yet to touch during their lunch hour. She was too sick to eat.
"I don't need to have seen the look on his face." Tracy jammed her index finger down onto the photo sitting in-between them on the Cafe table. "He did this,” she finalized.
Lila looked away from her and placed her chin in her hand, watching the passerby on the sidewalk outside of the Cafe. "But what if he didn't?"
Tracy rolled her eyes. "You're so blinded by the strange connection you have to this kid, so your opinion counts for shit. You have to respect me as the very brilliant and observant outsider looking in that I so obviously am." She motioned to herself dramatically before becoming serious once more. "Look into my slanted eyes, Lila, he did this shit. And I can't say I'm surprised. I sure as hell can't say that you didn't bring it on yourself. But I'm your best friend, and it's not my job to criticize you... so I won’t say any of those things."
Lila laughed bitterly. "If it was him then it's just crazy,” she said, "It’s crazy right?"
"Yeah." Tracy nodded. "Wes Craven status." She took a huge bite of her burger and spoke around her food. "Have you told Jack?"
Lila looked at her like she was crazy before leaning forward and beaming, "Of course not."
"Just a question. Jeez."
"Why would I tell Jack?" Lila asked. "To drive a wedge between them that's even bigger than the Grand Canyon sized one that's already there?"
"Well you're the one who put that canyon there, so what’s a few more chips in the foundation in the grand scheme of things?" Tracy sobered up. "Look, Lila. I love you to death, girl, but you made this bed. And I think Jack deserves to know that his little brother is psychotic. It's not okay what he did. It's not normal and, as a woman with a PhD in Psychology, I'd think you of all people would be the first to know that it is indicative of a much bigger problem that is only going to get worse if it is not addressed immediately."
Lila knew Tracy was right, but she couldn't bring herself to accept it.
---
After stumbling his way through the very little Spanish he'd learned in high schoo,l Chase managed to make his way past the million servants who worked in Ashley's Manhattan estate and up to the top floor. It didn't take him long to find her room, he'd become quite acquainted with it. He threw the door to it open, his eyes zeroing in on his book bag across the room. Due to the lack of contents inside, the black bag was sitting in a crumpled heap next to Ashley's stark white vanity.
After leaving the restaurant the night before he’d gone straight to Ashley's house to a party she’d invited him to. He hadn't planned on going... but at that point he needed the distraction, to drink, to forget. And drink he did. In fact, he managed to drink himself right into her bed. He vaguely remembered drunkenly ranting about Lila until Ashley had been too fed up to even hit on him, anymore. The fell asleep with their clothes on.
He'd woken up late that morning with no idea where he'd left his backpack and with five minutes until first period he'd only had time to run out the door. Thankfully Rosita, the delightful maid who'd answered the door just a moment ago, informed him that she'd found his bag in the living room where the party had been held, and left it in Ashley's room.
He crossed the room in a flash, snatching up his book bag and going straight to the pocket where he always kept his keys. It had been a while since he'd used them, but they never moved. He kept the keys in a small pocket that was situated inside of a bigger pocket that zippered shut. It was where he'd kept Lila’s key since he was thirteen years old-- and those keys never moved. They never shifted. Ever. His heart stopped cold when he reached into that very pocket to find nothing there.
His keys were gone.
---
Jack snapped his finger in front of Lila's face repeatedly until she snapped back to reality and removed the fingernail she'd been furiously chewing on to look up into his eyes. Rays of the sunlight behind him splashed around his head as he laughed down at her "Where the hell did you just go?"
Lila tightened her fingers around his and reached up to cover his bicep as they walked slowly across the grass. "Nowhere."
The truth was that the photo burning a hole in her back pocket
and her lunch with Tracy was still haunting her. The more time that passed the more she realized that her friend was probably right. Chase was the strongest suspect in this entire situation and it scared her to think about what else he could have been capable of. She wanted desperately to tell Jack, but didn’t. The thought of what would happen if she told Jack and the subsequent drama that would be sure to follow was not something she was prepared to face. If the two of them were ever going to have any kind of brotherly bond she had to teach herself to step out of their way, little by little.
Lila forced herself to focus on the man she was hand in hand with, marveling at how hard his arm was under her small hand. She gave it a little squeeze.
Jack tightened his grip on her hand, as well, and stepped closer to her so they were arm to arm.
"This is it,"she said, slowing them down in front of her sister's grave.
"I know," Jack laughed. "While you were off in your wild mind I was the one guiding us here." He kissed her forehead and handed her the flowers he'd been carrying, watching from where he stood while she approached the grave and sat in front of it Indian style. She laid the flowers to the left, then the right, then front ways, then back ways, until she finally settled on something in between, before plopping her hands in her lap and sighing deeply.
Lila turned to Jack as he came up beside her and slowly bent down, those long limbs of his craning into positions they didn't even seem capable of until he was leaning against one arm, with the other propped up on his knee. He watched her without words.
"Thanks for coming with me," Lila said. He didn't respond, and soon they were sitting together in silence, with nothing but the music of the wind and the trees to keep them. "She killed herself," Lila said, breaking the long silence.
Jack raised his eyebrows and looked away from the stone where he'd been tracing Danielle's name with his eyes. He didn't say a word.
"She killed herself the day after she gave me her mp3 player and her dove necklace.... two things that she'd never dream of being without." Lila continued to stare ahead. "It wasn't until she was gone it that I started to stumble across books and magazine articles about suicide. They all said that when someone you love gives you their personal possessions it's... the biggest sign..." Lila sighed deeply. "And all I could think was... where the hell were all these fucking magazine articles the day my sister decided to give me all her shit?" She laughed. "Where were they, then? I'm telling you, Jack, I was inundated with them after she was already gone. Only after."
Jack squinted against the setting sun, and gave Lila a tiny smile as he reached over and gently fingered the dove necklace that she almost always had around her neck.
"She was always so happy,” Lila said, her eyes widening. "And playful, and radiant. I just... I was fucking blindsided, you know?" She looked to him with inquisitive eyes. "I was bulldozed."
Jack nodded.
"I should have known how she was feeling. I should have looked harder, but I didn't. I didn't." She slapped her hands in her lap with defeat.
Jack released her necklace and let the tips of his fingers graze her collarbone. He could feel her thundering heart. Tapping his fingers back against the gold chain, he twirled it slowly.
"Anyway..." She continued, gazing off into the distance with a shrug. "I guess I failed her."
"No," Jack breathed, shaking his head with a deep frown.
Lila looked at him.
He stared at her, wordlessly, for what felt like an eternity, still holding her delicate dove necklace between his fingers, and struggling to memorize the designs in her brown eyes. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. A windy moment passed, and he tried, again.
"I forced Chase to give my drunk father the keys to a Porsche with a 3.8 cylinder engine, 530 gigs of horsepower and enough grit to take it from zero to sixty in 3.4 seconds. He could barely walk on his own two feet. He’d always been a mean drunk so I didn’t think twice. I let my mother get in the car right after him. She wasn't in much better shape. I could have put the keys in my pocket and refused to allow him to drive, but I didn’t. I let it happen. Chase feels responsible, but he was just a kid. I’m responsible and only me. I… " He looked away, exhaling heavily, before looking back at her. "I. Failed. Them."
Lila reached up and covered his hand with her own until they were both clutching her necklace.
"You didn't fail anybody,” he whispered, passionately.
Lila didn't know what to say. It was a story she’d heard many times, but Jack’s version sounded much different. She bent over and kissed him softly. Jack took the back of her head and held her there, taking his time, savoring her and pulling away only until they were nose to nose before letting his eyes flutter shut.
---
"I want you in my bed." Jack whispered before taking her earlobe playfully between his teeth. "I want my sheets to smell like you even when you're not there."
Lila tore her eyes away from the movie theater ticket line that they seemed to be eternally stuck in and looked up at him from where she was wrapped up in his arms from behind. She smiled and frowned in unison. "My place is right down the street. Let's blow this popsicle stand." She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, accepting the hungry kiss that met her. After their visit to Danielle’s grave she felt closer to Jack than ever.
"No," Jack said after pulling away,."My bed. My house. My sheets."
Lila was confused and it must have shown on her face because what Jack said next was a direct response to it.
"I want to tell him about us."
Lila blinked. She didn't know where to even begin responding to that statement.
"I want to change the legacy that he, you and I have created for ourselves."
"I know you do." She cupped his face.
"And I know that he'll be upset when he finds out we’re together but I want to be honest with him. We have to change our legacy." He licked his lips. “I want to tell him tonight--as soon as possible. How can we all move forward together if we’re constantly keeping things from each other?”
"Sometimes I think," Lila started, then looked away.
"Sometimes you think what?" Jack pressed.
"Sometimes I think things would be easier for you two if I wasn't around."
"Things would definitely be easier if you weren't around." Jack agreed. "Look, Lila, it’s always been very convenient to just place the blame on you. But the truth is that I can even begin to fathom where we'd be if you had never come around. My best guess is that Chase would be in jail and I'd be..." He didn't finish. "I wasn't there for him, Lila, and I can admit that to myself now. I mean, yeah, I fed him and I gave him a bed but I wasn't around. He was a kid with basically no one. Until you…" Jack trailed off. "I'd say you are a necessary evil in both of our lives. That's just the way it is."
"A necessary evil. Words every girl longs to hear."
"What can I say, I'm a romantic..."
"And you're amazing in bed, too. What the hell are you doing slumming it with me?"
"Shut your mouth,” he growled, his hands sliding from her waist and down to her ass. He cupped a cheek with one hand and slid the other in her pocket, stopping short when he felt something. His eyes grew playful.
“What’s this?” he whispered, removing what felt like two folded pieces of paper from Lila’s pocket.
Lila was too entranced at the sight of him, too busy thinking about the disgusting things she wanted to do to him later that it didn’t even dawn on her that he’d removed the photos she’d been carrying in her back pocket until it was too late. Her eyes widened and as he brought the photos into his line of vision she frantically attempted to reclaim them.
“Oh it’s nothing,” she said, as nonchalantly as she could, placing her hand on top of his.
Jack’s eyes grew wild and he was now ten times more curious than he had been before having seen how little Lila wanted him to have what was in his hand.
“It’s nothing Jack,” she insisted, becoming e
nraged when he held the photos up in the air, far too high for her to reach.
Jack was no longer smiling and no longer amused when he realized that this was no game to Lila. Still, he opened the folded up pictures that he held out of her reach, and looked up at them. The moment he took in the images he brought the pictures quickly down, allowing Lila to snatch them from his hands. But it was too late.
“God damn it, Jack,” she breathed, looking down into her hands at the pictures crumbled beneath them. She should have burned them. “Damn it.”
Jack didn’t know what to say, so he just stared a hole into the top of Lila’s bowed head, attempting to make sense of the situation. The line in front of them had continued moving, and the people waiting behind them were slowly beginning to go around since they didn’t seem in any big hurry to move ahead with it.
It felt like an eternity that Lila stared down at her hands. Finally, she found the courage to look up at Jack, whose face was stricken with confusion. She cupped his face in her hands and dug her fingers deep into his hair. "Chase knows."
Jack's face sobered and he pulled slightly away.
Lila looked up into the sky and begged for help. "He knows about you and me. Everything. He knows we're sleeping together, he knows..." She blinked lazily. "Everything. I wasn't going to tell you this but..."
Jack waited patiently, but when too much time passed with nothing said he gripped her waist and shook her. "What?" he demanded.
"When I woke up this morning his keys were in my door... it was hanging wide open and his keys were in it... And that picture of us sleeping was…” She had to take a moment, still unable to stomach the events that had transpired. “It was taped to my front door.”
Jack jammed his eyes shut. The wheels in his mind were moving far too quickly for him to keep up.
Lila's Thunder: The Almeida Brothers, Book One Page 14