“I know that. And I know that I’ve brought this all on myself for being so close to my kids…” Lila’s eyes rose guiltily to Tracy. “So close to Chase.”
Tracy nodded softly.
Lila became entranced with the packing tape. “And I understand that Jack had to protect his job, but… I can’t help but feel like he should have told me right from the beginning. What would I have done if he’d just told me the truth? Would I have run to his boss and ratted him out? Of course not. We weren’t exactly ‘best friends forever’ but I would have still protected him—if anything for Chase’s sake. I would have protected Jack the same way he was protecting me. He couldn’t trust me to do that and that’s what really kills me. That’s what pisses me the fuck off.”
“I know you would have protected him, and I get why you’re mad. I totally get it.” Tracy thought for a moment, and then shrugged one shoulder before squinting at Lila. “He’s just so hot, though.”
Lila rolled her eyes with a small smile. “It’s pretty devastating.”
“Seriously. What kind of black magic?” Tracy reveled in the sound of her best friend’s laughter. “Who the hell gave him a vat of virgin’s blood to drink--therefore solidifying his perfection for all eternity? And why didn’t he save any for the rest of us?”
Lila shook her head with a laugh. “You’re such a mess.”
“I think you should forgive him.”
If looks could punch, Lila was definitely pummeling her best friend as she shot daggers through her eyes. “It’s not that simple.”
“Isn’t it,” Tracy said in a sing song voice.
“No,” Lila beamed, trying to hide her smile. “It’s not. Besides… it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving, he’s staying. It’s better this…” Her words slowed to a stop when her phone rang and Chase’s name splashed across the screen. Both women shared a look.
“Didn’t you say you haven’t talked to him since...” Tracy whispered.
“Cambridge.” Lila grumbled back. “He’s been completely avoiding me. I can’t really blame him.” She looked towards the phone and before she could think the better of it she answered.
“I can’t believe it’s you.” She said.
A long silence followed on his end. “It’s me.” Was all he could manage.
Lila pulled the phone away, made eye contact with Tracy and sighed deeply. Slowly, she brought the phone back to her ear. “I didn’t think I was going to hear from you before I left.” Tears immediately came to her eyes.
“I heard you were leaving tomorrow and I… I couldn’t let you leave without at least saying goodbye.”
“Well… I’m glad.”
The silence continued, neither appearing to be in a big hurry to keep the conversation going, but neither in a hurry to end it, either. Lila couldn’t help the smile that came to her face every time she heard his voice.
Tracy pointed behind her. “I’m going to go grab some more tape.” She turned away before stumbling through the many boxes and into the bathroom where she closed the door behind her. Lila watched her go, wondering why in the hell she would go into the bathroom for tape.
Lila closed her eyes as she went back to the phone. “I owe you an apology.”
Chase cleared his throat. “Nah.”
“Yeah.” Lila began nodding vigorously. “In fact I think I owe you about a million apologies, Chase. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Um…” Lila ran a hand down the back of her hair. She truly didn’t even know where to begin.
“You must think I’m a real maniac,” he suddenly whispered.
Lila clutched the open flap of one of the boxes and looked over her shoulder to see if Tracy was back yet. She hadn’t told her friend the entire story about what had gone on with her and Chase that night and she wasn’t ready to divulge today. “I don’t think that.”
“You should.”
“Well…” Lila took a beat. “I don’t. I would never think that about you.”
“I practically attacked you, Lila.”
“You didn’t… you were just... It’s not like you hurt me. I’m fine. I get it.”
“I had my hands… all over you.”
Lila wasn’t surprised at the reaction her heart immediately had as she recalled that day at the bay vividly. It was the same way she seemed to react anytime she’d thought about Chase in the last few days. It made her stomach churn and her heart pound all at once. She bit her lip, willing the thoughts away.
Chase went on. “Who the fuck was I to have my hands… all over you like that…”
Lila’s hands curled into fists.
His voice grew deeper, heavier, as he went on.“It was like I climbed out of myself and became this entirely different person. This… this… thing that I didn’t even recognize just came out of me and I lost it. Lila, I would never hurt you. Never.”
“I already know that. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. You’ve been through a hell of a lot because of me and you didn’t deserve it. Not one bit of it. I’m the one who should be sorry,” she said, softly. “I haven’t been fair to you. And not just in Cambridge. I haven’t been fair to you for a long time, Chase. And in a way, I haven’t really been fair to myself.”
“I haven’t been fair to you, either, Lila. It’s not your fault that you and Jack…” He still couldn’t say the words.
Lila didn’t need him to. She understood. “Are over,” she finished.
Chase held his breath, then exhaled. “I accepted my spot. My spot at Harvard.”
Lila rolled her eyes. “Hallelujah.”
“I would have told you sooner but I wasn’t exactly thrilled to say goodbye to you,” he said softly. “It’s okay, though. Because now I know it’s not goodbye. It’s see you later.”
Lila closed her eyes with a smile. “Right.”
“Okay...” Tracy threw open the door to the bathroom. “There’s only so long a woman can pretend to use the bathroom.”
Lila looked to Tracy with her mouth agape.
Tracy waved a hand. “Don’t let me interrupt, please. Just pretend I’m not here. I’m invisible.”
Chase continued. “What about those pictures? Are you going to be okay alone in a city you don’t know?”
Lila’s eyes narrowed. “We actually found out that it was a peeping tom in the neighborhood. Some perverted asshole. They’ve already charged him and put him behind bars.” She was relieved that she didn’t have to look Chase in the eyes as she told that bold faced lie. He could always read her so well.
“How did he get ahold of my keys, though?”
Lila’s mind raced. “I don’t know. I guess he could have swiped them from your bag pretty much anywhere. You do leave it sitting around all over the place,” she reminded him. As she thought about the--apparently very thorough--private investigator that the law firm had hired going through Chase’s private things, she began to see red once again. What gave him the right? She really did have half a mind to sue those rich bastards for all they were worth.
Chase took in her words. “Okay, well… That’s good. I’m glad everything’s going to be okay.”
“It is.” Lila nodded.
“When’s your flight?” He asked.
“The movers are coming tonight for the rest of my things and I leave for Cambridge early tomorrow morning.”
“Wow.” He felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. “Lila…”
“I’ll see you later, Chase,” she whispered.
His breathing had calmed considerably on the other end of the line. “Yeah.” He said, his voice growing low and gravely. “You will.”
“Actually Chase…” Lila’s heart immediately sped up as she was hit with an idea. “I changed my mind. I think we should meet… one last time… before I leave for good.”
“So I really haven’t scared you off for life?”
“Never.”
Epilogue
The next cloudy morning Chase made his way across the perfectly green grass of the cemet
ery sluggishly. The long train ride there had been heavy, and it had taken everything in him not to turn and go right back home. The resting place of their parents had never been a favorite of he and Jack's. The only time they ever had the stomach to go to their parent’s grave was when their grandmother forced them to.
But the thought of Lila leaving had a pit in his stomach so heavy he wasn’t sure how he was still standing upright. He’d been unable to turn down the chance of seeing her once last time. Especially now that he knew she didn’t hate him for what had happened in Cambridge.
Dropping his bag on the grass next to his parent’s tombstone Chase pulled off his jacket and threw it over his shoulder as he looked for Lila. He stopped cold when he saw Jack approaching him from several feet away.
A deep scowl crossed Chase's face.
“What the hell,” he mumbled. As always he and Jack had done a stand up job of avoiding each other completely, and seeing him there made Chase fall in a wild war of emotion that he wasn't sure he was prepared for.
Jack began looking over his shoulder, as well, as if he searching for whoever was responsible for this. He made his way closer to Chase, taking in his younger brother’s face as he came up next to him. Jack instinctively shoved his hands in his pockets, searched Chase’s green eyes deeply, then chuckled as he looked off.
Chase cocked his head back. “Lila?” he murmured.
Jack turned to him then smirked. “Yeah.” He opened his mouth to speak. “She told you to meet her here too, huh?"
Chase pressed his lips together. “She did.”
Jack took a deep breath and took in the stone before them. “I don’t think we’ve been here together in--”
“Five years,” Chase finished, turning to him. “Don’t you work today? Or is Lila the one person in the world with the power to tear you away from that miserable place?”
Jack stared down at the bouquet he’d left at the stone the last time he'd been here. The day he’d run into Lila at her sister's grave. It felt like a lifetime ago. The petals were withering away, on the verge of death but, somehow, more beautiful to him than they had ever been.
He finally answered, “I quit.”
Chase’s eyes widened. “You what?”
“I quit my job.”
“Why?”
Jack turned back to him. “She didn’t tell you?”
Chase poked his lips out, wondering what there was to tell, then shook his head no.
Jack thought about Lila. How easily she could have told Chase everything and poisoned his opinion of Jack for good, but she hadn’t. Perhaps she didn’t hate his guts, after all. The thought brought the smallest smile to Jack Almeida’s face.
“I needed to.” He looked up and met Chase’s eyes. “I love you.”
Chase blinked, flabbergasted by the sound of the words coming from his brother’s mouth. “I love you, too.”
Reluctantly, Chase stepped closer to Jack and shoved his hands in his pockets. He took one last look at his brother before shaking his head and kneeling down in front of the tombstone. Several moments passed before Jack followed, sitting on the grass next to Chase with his long legs splayed out, feeling more at peace than he had in a long time.
---
Lila watched from the distance, lingering quietly next to Danielle’s grave as Jack and Chase sat together at the stone of their parents. She knew that the one thing that had torn them apart would be the only thing that could ever bring them back together. It had taken her five long years to realize it, but she now understood that Jack and Chase could never properly face their demons as long as she was there blurring up their lives from the middle. Nor could she face her own.
With a small smile she ran her fingers tenderly over Danielle’s headstone. She cast one last look across the grass, at the two men who had become her world, before adjusting her duffle bag on her shoulder and turning away.
She was bound for Cambridge in just a few hours. Without Jack. Without Chase. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do.
She didn’t look back. Not once.
Not this time.
---
Lila climbed out of a cab at JFK a few hours later. Heavy rain had begun to fall just minutes earlier and she made sure to tip the driver well for assisting her with the many bags that she’d forced him to lug out of the vehicle and onto the curbside check in. Once her bags were checked and she had her boarding pass, she began making her way into the airport, stopping short when she saw Jack leaning against the edge of the building.
He was in his signature suit with a pair of sunglasses shadowing his eyes. Even getting pounded on by rain he continued to be flawless as always. Lila was surprised that she didn’t feel anger the moment she saw him, but relief.
Without a word she made her way over to him, smiling bashfully.
Jack waited until she was just a few feet from him before standing tall. “That was quite the stunt you pulled this morning.”
She looked off. “It felt like the right thing to do.”
Jack’s eyes searched her face. “So this is really it? You just get on a plane and go? Just like that? Lila… this isn’t the way.” Though his sunglasses were shielding his eyes they did nothing to hide the pain in Jack’s voice. “I hate that it’s going to end like this. I don’t want you to look back, think about me and feel terrible things. The things I said to you the other day, I…” Jack couldn’t finish.
“I know,” Lila whispered. “Jack, I’m not angry. I won’t feel terrible when I think of you, okay? We had a lot of beautiful moments together and I understand why you said what you did. Why you did what you did. I understand. But I can’t be here anymore and I think you know that.”
Jack looked off, softly grinding his teeth.
Lila adjusted the duffle bag on her shoulder. “You and Chase have to have your happy ending before you can ever dream of having one of your own.”
Jack finally looked back at her, playing his fingers together. “Why can’t we all get there together?”
Lila shook her head. “We can’t, and you know that. That is not our reality. Not for any of us.”
Jack squinted against the rapidly falling rain, shaking his head. “I love you so fucking much Lila.”
“Jack… since the moment I first saw you I’ve denied it…” Lila laughed softly. “But I have always loved you. I always have, I never stopped.”
“But you love him, too.” Jack said, his jaw tightening. “You love him more. Right?”
“That…” Lila pointed to him. “That is why I have to leave. Today. Right now.”
“Why can’t you just admit it, Lila?” he whispered. “The reason you and I can never be isn’t because of the issues I have with Chase. It’s because of the issues you have with Chase. The issues you’re too afraid to face up to.”
“Jack don’t do this.”
Jack looked away, forcing himself to bite his tongue. He felt like his heart had been torn clear out and he couldn’t see which way was up.
“This is the way it has to be. I’m sorry. I really am.”
Jack continued to look away, unable to face her. He felt like he might crumble if he did. “Yeah, me too.”
Lila clenched her fists and looked towards the terminal, suddenly unable to move. “I have to go... my plane is leaving in less than an hour."
Jack looked down at his feet, nodding.
Tears began to fall from her eyes but, as she looked up into the sky, the rain danced along with them down her face, camouflaging them from Jack. For that she was thankful. “You know, you were right about one thing.” She looked back at him, smiling when a clap of thunder shook her bones. “Thunder really does roll when we’re together.”
Jack stepped closer and cupped her cheeks in his hands, pulling her forehead to his. He jammed his eyes shut and buried his fingers in her hair desperately.
“You are my thunder, Lila.”
They embraced and stayed locked in each other’s arms for several lon
g moments, breathing deeply and feeling the long rise and fall of each other’s chests as they did. Reluctantly, Jack released her. As he watched her turn away from him and disappear into the terminal, it took everything he had not to follow her in and beg her to stay, but deep down he knew she was right. He still had a chance to repair everything that was broken with Chase before it was too late, and though he loved Lila, he knew that would never happen as long as she was still in their lives. Still in New York.
She was his love, but Chase was his world. His family.
So he didn't try to stop her.
Not this time.
Coming Soon:
Thunder Rolls: The Almeida Brothers, Book Two
Trevion Burns
Lila's Thunder: The Almeida Brothers, Book One Page 22