She was babbling in her nervousness, she realized, but maybe that wasn't all bad? Maybe they would put it down to excitement rather than the fear it actually was? "Anyway, I didn't have any interest in becoming a colonist on any of the moons we've settled in this system. I mean, they call them worlds, but let's face it the environment is totally hostile for humans."
She immediately regretted her choice of words and hastened onward in the hope of glossing over it. "I've seen pictures of this place-the world they've named Sirius A. And it's just beautiful. I think I could actually feel at home there. I hope so, anyway. Of course, it's going to be a lot different from living here on Earth, but that isn't all bad considering … considering how bad things are here now."
She stopped and flicked a glance at Ronan to see how he was taking her babble. He was frowning, but she couldn't decide whether it was because she'd completely lost him because she was talking too fast for him to grasp her language, or if he was angry. He didn't seem angry.
"Dey take spaceship back to …. You go to dis odder world?"
For the life of her, Kate absolutely could not prevent her color from fluctuating at his near slip. She wasn't worth a damn at subterfuge herself! "Yes, I'm going to the new world to live," she said quickly. "I don't suppose that's why you and your bro … uh … your friends are here? Dare I hope that you plan on going, too?"
Inwardly, she kicked herself. He'd told her they were his brothers, she reminded herself, the time before! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
He studied her for a long moment, long enough she knew he hadn't missed her slip, and then glanced at the other two. "Yes. We go, also."
She wasn't going to be able to pull this off! She should have known she couldn't, she thought despairingly. She was a scientist! She didn't have the experience or the disposition for subterfuge on this scale! Maybe social deception, but even that was debatable!
"But …! That's just wonderful!" she exclaimed with what enthusiasm she could muster. "And here I was thinking I wouldn't get the chance to see you guys again!"
They didn't receive that well she discovered when she turned to include all of them in her smile of pleased surprise.
Jarek, who was currently calling himself Jared, looked confused and not terribly happy. "We are mated …."
Kate felt heat wash over her. Complete confusion followed for a handful of moments before it struck her, forcibly enough it almost seemed like a physical blow that knocked the breath from her, that, to his mind, they hadn't had a wild night of sex. He thought he had mated with her.
They all did.
Oh god!
She didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her that they probably wouldn't consider sex in the same light that humans did.
Maybe because she was human and was used to thinking like one?
Her horror was so profound as it sank in that they thought they'd mated with her-mated in the sense that most lower animals considered sex-that she couldn't formulate a rational thought for many moments. Even when her shock wore thin enough to allow for a little reason she couldn't think of a way to react or anything to say to cover her 'slip'. She chuckled a little hysterically, trying to force her mind to produce something useable. "Well … uh … yes." She chuckled again, still struggling with something to say that wouldn't give away the fact that she knew they were Sirians and at the same time would soothe their obvious anger and eliminate their confusion. "We certainly did … uh … mate! And it was … fabulous, really! I just didn't dare assume that you wanted it to be more permanent."
All three of them frowned at her ferociously, scaring her badly enough that her mind went blank for several moments.
She chuckled again, feeling cold sweat pop from her pores. "I mean, I just assumed you'd move on and mate again, you know?"
Oh god! Why hadn't she sat down and tried to reason through the way they might consider this?
Not that it would have done her any good, really! Because she didn't understand them at all!
Calming herself with an effort, thinking frantically, she finally decided that she should consider their reactions as an indication that they must see sex in the same, or at least a similar way, to many of Earth's creatures. They thought they'd mated and they would expect to stay with the female they'd chosen until she produced. As distressed as she was, it certainly seemed to her that that was what they were suggesting.
That thought was almost as frightening in implications as it was a relief on another level.
She didn't think that she could have made herself try such an insane thing if that had occurred to her when she was considering luring them onboard the colony ship with sex!
The food she'd been preparing began to burn. The smell distracted her, but the ruination of the food also threw her into more disorder. She was shaking by the time she managed to clean up the mess and dispose of it. Fortunately, it didn't produce enough smoke to alert the fire department!
She wanted, in the worst sort of way, to retreat and lock herself in her room to collect herself and her wild thoughts into some semblance of order, but she didn't have that luxury. She'd taken this upon herself. She had to handle it. The thought that she might actually be in danger because of her reaction did occur to her, but she shuttled it quickly to the back of her mind.
That certainly wasn't going to help her think!
"Well, then …. That's settled!" she said with an effort at cheerfulness. "Now that we're mates, I suppose I should ask if the three of you plan to colonize?"
They stared at her blankly and it occurred to her that their understanding of her language might not include 'colony' and 'colonization' in their vocabulary.
Of course, it might and the blank looks might be imminent explosion over the plans to colonize their world. She searched her mind for some tale that might not anger them, but the plain fact was that she simply didn't know them well enough to know how they might react to anything she said and she was too upset to think up a convincing lie. "I'm a scientist. It's my job to go with the people that are moving to the new world to live so that I can help them understand it. I have to go. If you're … uh … If you plan to pursue the mating bond, then you'll have to go, too. I suppose it wasn't fair of me to accept the … uh … the mating without explaining all that first, but I was …. Well, it is really hard to think rationally during the mating … uh … process, you know?" she added hopefully.
Something she said seemed to sooth their tempers. They visibly relaxed.
"We will go," Ronan informed her.
She relaxed fractionally herself and forced a smile. "Well! That's wonderful! That's just great! I certainly didn't want us to fight about it!
"You know, I'm actually not feeling very well at the moment. I'm sure it's nothing, but I think I'll go lie down a little while."
To her dismay, the three men followed her as she scurried back to her room in the hope of having a little time to recover.
"You have not eaten."
She thought it was Jared that spoke, but she had her back to the three men when he spoke and she wasn't certain. "I'll eat after I've rested."
They stood in the doorway, making it impossible for her to close the door like she wanted to, stared at her for a few moments and then, to her relief, they retreated. Settling weakly on her bed, Kate closed her eyes. In all truth, she felt more than a little faint, but her mind was just as alive with frantic thought as it had been when the conversation had begun. She focused on trying to calm herself until she sensed the men had ceased to stand in the doorway staring at her. When they finally left, she began to achieve at least a modicum of the calm she'd sought. For a time her thoughts revolved around self-castigation that it hadn't occurred to her before that the Sirians might be bent on mating but she was able to dismiss that as useless after a while.
She'd made a dangerous mistake. There was no getting around that, but even in her current state she could see that berating herself wasn't getting her anywhere.
It still seemed beyond biza
rre that they'd focused on her as a mate, but there wasn't much point in worrying that fact over either. It was actually reasonable when she considered the fact that they'd clearly reached that phase in their development and added the fact that she was not only a female but had spent the most time around them.
It was probably an association thing, she decided. There weren't any females of their own species around for one thing and the mating process in most species, on Earth, was a pretty powerful motivation. In any case, they had been very young when they had been captured. They probably identified with humans because of that in the same way that Earth creatures tended to identify with the first face they saw after birth.
It was a documented fact that confusion resulted from such experiences. A kitten reared by a dog, or vice versa, identified with the 'mother' that had raised them. That had been the case with many young animals reared by a parent not of their species.
It was a problem for another time, however, and it began to look like she would have plenty of time to sort through that.
At the moment, the best course to take seemed to be to focus on getting to their world. If they reacted with hostility when they saw just how many humans had decided to take up residence on their world …. Well, she would have help in dealing with that.
Hopefully, by the time they got to Sirius and she 'released' them, they would simply accept their freedom and take off to join the others of their kind!
* * * *
Jarek stared in dismay at the hole Kate had tossed the food down. His stomach growled. What do you suppose she did that for?
Ronan was frowning, staring toward Kate's room and trying to 'pick up' any thoughts she might project.
Some sort of custom or ritual? Dax speculated.
Jarek sent him a sharp look. With food? he demanded, outraged. You are saying she gave our food to the gods? What are they going to do with it?
She suspects, Ronan said emphatically.
Jarek blinked at him uncomprehendingly. She threw the food in that hole because she suspects? He considered it. What do you think she suspects?
Ronan looked at him blankly, glanced at Dax and then shook his head. Do you never think of anything but food? he demanded dryly.
Jarek gaped at him. I think about food when I am hungry! I do not think about food when I am not hungry. He frowned. Except when I am considering what I might eat the next time I am hungry.
I think I will check the pods to see if there is something to eat.
Cabinets, Ronan corrected Dax absently. Or lockers. I think I will check on Kate.
Why are you checking on Kate? Jarek asked as Ronan strode away. Clearly she is not hungry or she would not have sacrificed the food to the hole god and left.
Dax glared at him. Ronan is right! You think of nothing but your stomach! She said she was not feeling well. He is worried about our mate and you should be, too!
She is not sick, Ronan contradicted him without pausing. I am worried about what is causing her to be anxious.
It is the way her mind churns with thoughts, Dax said, studying the contents of the cabinet he had opened. I would not feel well either if my mind was always leaping from one thing to another and back again. It is enough to make her dizzy and that is enough to make her feel ill.
That is stupid! Jarek snapped. Why would she feel ill because of that? How could that make her dizzy?
Dax swiveled slowly around to glare at Jarek in fuming silence for a moment. Finally, his brow cleared. You would know nothing about it since there is never more than one thought in your head at the time, he said coolly.
What is that supposed to mean? Jarek demanded indignantly.
That you are stupid.
No fighting, Ronan growled.
Dax hurled a hard container of food at Jarek's head. There you go. Eat that.
Jarek managed to catch it before the container smacked him in the face. He glared at Dax, who missed it since he had turned his back to Jarek, and threw it back at him. It narrowly missed clocking Dax in the back of the head. Fortunately, he had seen something on a lower shelf and bent over to study it more closely an instant before the container would have made contact. He jumped when the container collided with the contents of one shelf and created a small avalanche. Straightening, he turned to glare at Jarek threateningly.
You eat it, Jarek said tightly. I will find my own food.
Dax ground his teeth, sent a speculative glance at Ronan, who had paused in the doorway to Kate's chamber, and decided against pursuing the matter. He ground his teeth but managed to subdue his irritation. Suit yourself. Grabbing the container that had caught his interest, he moved to the counter and settled to trying to figure out how to open it. It was different from the ones he had seen Kate open before and he examined it for several moments before he decided on a way to open it up. Extending a talon, he used that to rip a long slit along the crackling container. The food inside was hard and dry … and looked nothing like the image on the outside. Shrugging, he tipped his head back and shook a portion of the mixture of powder and hard white things Kate had called pasta into his mouth.
It tasted … strange, but then pretty much all of the food the humans ate tasted nothing like he expected-except the food they had foraged for when they had been living in the Earth jungle. Instinct, and racial memory, had told them that that food was much like the food of their ancestors. It had certainly tasted better and settled more easily in his stomach!
Jarek watched the expressions that flickered across Dax's face for a few moments and finally approached the pod-the cabinet, he reminded himself-and began his own search for something to appease the rumbling in his stomach.
Dax was the one who was stupid, he thought angrily. Everything that Kate had fed them before she had taken and poured into another container and then added liquid of some kind and usually raw, unrecognizable pieces of meat and then she had made heat with that thing she had burned the other food on. He knew it was not supposed to be eaten directly from the containers!
Unfortunately, he had no idea what he was supposed to do with it, because Kate had done something different each time she had prepared food for them.
Shrugging that off, he moved away from the cabinet and opened the pod she referred to as a fridge. Inside was food that was cold but more easily recognizable to him. He started with the eggs, cracking them carefully and sucking the egg from inside. He had eaten perhaps half when Dax shouldered him aside and took the remaining eggs for himself.
He had already drawn a fist back to punch Dax for stealing his food when he remembered what Ronan had said. Instead, he contented himself with ramming his shoulder into Dax's to shove him out of the way. When he did, the jarring movement made Dax drop three of the eggs he had stolen. They hit the hard floor and cracked open.
Dax sent him a deadly look.
Jarek managed to keep from smiling his satisfaction. Ronan said no fighting.
Dax flicked a glance in Ronan's direction, saw that he was still outside Kate's room and would be able to see which of them had started the fight if he punched Jarek in the face, and decided against it. Instead, he gave Jarek a counter nudge with his own shoulder.
It was just hard enough to force Jarek to shift his feet to regain his balance. Unfortunately, when he shifted his foot, he planted it on one of the eggs that he'd knocked from Dax's hands. His foot skidded in the gooey mess and threw his center of balance off. He grabbed for the door of the fridge to catch himself. It moved, swinging away from him and throwing his balance off even more.
He still might have caught himself if his sliding foot hadn't slammed into Dax's, throwing him off balance. From that moment, their battle for balance was lost. Dax made a grab for the edge of the fridge to catch himself, but the weight of the two of them was too much. The fridge not only didn't help them regain their balance, it tipped toward them under their weight, crashing into both of them and emptying everything on the shelves inside onto the floor at their feet just as they sprawled out
on it.
Gods! Ronan bellowed in their minds. Did I not tell you not to fight? Clean up that mess before Kate discovers the two of you have wrecked her cabin-uh-kitchen!
Jarek and Dax turned to glare at Ronan but since they both decided that Ronan was likely to interpret their shoving match as instigating a fight, they decided not to attempt an explanation. Instead, they got up very carefully, trying to maintain their balance in the mixture of liquids all over the slick stone floor, and pushed the fridge upright once more.
Dismissing them, Ronan focused on Kate again. Despite every effort to carefully probe her thoughts, he realized after a few moments that Kate could feel his probing and that it was making her dizzy, making her begin to feel unwell. He did not think she actually had felt ill before he had begun trying to connect with her mind, because that was the one thought of the myriad of thoughts that had not been there before-awareness of feeling disoriented and nauseated because of it.
He withdrew, frowning thoughtfully. It occurred to him after a few moments that Kate's thoughts were neither random nor chaotic-even though it had often seemed that way to him. Her mind was sorting.
And he had been right. She did suspect. He thought she more than suspected.
Anger welled inside him, frustration. None of the other humans suspected that they were not! How was it that Kate seemed to know at once that they were not as human as she was?
The mating bond?
Much of his frustration vanished at that thought. If that was how she always knew, then they had no hope of convincing her otherwise, but was that a bad thing? If it was the bond that helped her to recognize them, did that not mean that she was bound? And if she was bound, could they not trust that she would not betray them to the others?
It seemed reasonable. He did not know why he was uneasy accepting it as fact.
Except that the humans he had come to know were never to be trusted.
Adaptation Page 14