‘No, I can imagine but then again what did you expect?’
‘Well, not on our holiday, I suppose.’
‘But love, that’s one of the reasons we travel each summer. And to be found, well that’s even better. Now, where is he?’
She knelt by the river to fill her water bag and looked over her shoulder at Fay playing, near the camping spot.
‘He said he would give me some time to get used to the idea. He must be around here somewhere.’
‘Oh? Is he as shy as you were in the beginning when we had just met?’
She smiled at that. ‘No, he just doesn’t want to interfere with our family.’
Felix knelt beside her, staring questioningly at her, searching her face for any sign of explanation.
‘Well, tell him he is welcome and that he doesn’t have to fear me.’
‘I already did. Look Felix, I just need some time to realise the magnitude of this. He could only tell me that we are indeed the last two. Him and I.’
He blinked his eyes a couple of times.
‘Are you sure? I mean: is he sure about that?’
Sula nodded.
‘How?’
She explained Shazar’s story of the Truthstone and what it had told him. Felix believed in oracles and magic, so he nodded without further questioning.
‘I’m sorry, you must be devastated. And there is me going on about how thrilled you must be.’ He touched her shoulder softly kneading it. He kissed her on the top of her head and held her closely. She could not cry, not yet at least.
After a short while he stood.
‘If you need me I will be near the camp. I will er…prepare us some breakfast.’
Smiling gratefully at him with love in her eyes she nodded. He was always so understanding. That was what she loved about him from the day they met. Somehow he always seemed to know how she felt even before their intimate bond.
~~~
After breakfast she went for a walk along the river by herself and tried to clear her mind by listening to the sound of the babbling water. She rested on a rock. It reminded her of the river in Rosinhill, so dear to her and Felix. It wouldn’t be easy to fall in love with Shazar; he was very attractive, but she wasn’t sure about his character. But one good thing was that in order to have his children she wouldn’t have to love or even like him. He only needed to father them and perhaps she could still remain in Rosinhill. But still, she couldn’t betray Felix like that even if he ever agreed to it. She was married to him and had given Felix her vows and with that, unknowing to her husband, her binding Comyenti Oath. She had never explained to him the true meaning of the Comyenti Oath, she didn’t know herself whether to believe it or not. Although she had never sworn to never leave him; that wasn’t a part of their marriage rite. She had however promised to love and respect him and to stand by him, in good and bad times, for the rest of their lives.
He was a very jealous husband. Sula was much loved and desired by many in the village and as much as Sula stayed away from people, they of course knew where they lived and she had had to send away many an admirer. Sula’s thoughts drifted back to Shazar; she doubted they could all live together in harmony. She felt a sudden sensational rush through her body at the mere thought of that. Her having two men, now that would be something!
As if ever!
“You and I have an obligation to fulfil and we cannot let our personal feelings come between them,” she heard Shazar’s words resonate in her head. In one motion she threw a stone in the water and it made a loud splash just like Shazar had done by coming into their lives, ruining everything, leaving the surface rippled and disturbed.
She couldn’t let him go either, now that he was here, could she? That wouldn’t make sense.
Perhaps I can have a child with him and stay married to Felix. Shazar would have to leave us in peace and perhaps only visit once or twice a year.
Sula shook her head, watching the slow flow of the river and a dipper sitting on a rock in the water, shaking his head too. He was ready to dive into the water again but before he did he shook his head again. The only bird to walk under water. She smiled at the little creature, thankful for its sign.
No, you’re right little one, for as much as Felix is understanding, I doubt he will ever go along with that!
She loved him so much but she sometimes struggled with his possessiveness over her. She knew it was his protectiveness and his love but at times it was a little too much for her. It worked like a prison. At those times she needed space to breathe for she felt trapped. Being on her own for twenty four years prior to meeting Felix she had developed a certain sense and affinity for freedom and independence. Once in a while she still very much craved this. It was a need for her survival and sanity it seemed.
Usually that meant going for a stroll in the woods or a flight to the ocean, flying with the speed of the swift just below the clouds with her blood racing through her. Only then did she feel alive. After those moments she felt much better and whole again but more importantly, her inner peace restored again and her state of mind calmer.
Like any couple they quarrelled every so often. Just raising their voices, never any violence though, only harsh words; which could hurt like knives all the same. But when things went really bad between them Sula would pay a visit to her sister-in-law, Feline, to talk. She was always such a good listener, never judging and always so patient, so calm and gentle, never hot-headed nor overpowering.
There were so many thoughts raging through her head she just couldn’t get them organized.
Sula needed help. She needed Feline to talk to. As always she would know what to do. Although it did concern her a little.
I miss her company.
~~~
Sula stretched her legs and walked back to their camping spot. It was already afternoon by the time she re-joined Fay and Felix at the little warm lake they were swimming in. It was hot in the open spot in the woods by the lake whereas Sula had stayed in the shade all morning. First she studied the two people she loved most of all in the world before she stripped herself bare and joined the splashing father and child.
Their eyes met and time seemed to stand still for a moment. That amazing silence again as ever when Felix and Sula looked at each other; a sign of true love…
Fay played in slow motion in the shallow water. Felix’s laugh had frozen as he saw his beautiful wife entering the lake. The water closed in around her shoulders as she swam towards him, smiling alluringly. He blinked slowly, drops of water on his long eyelashes, the sunlight on his light hair and in his clear blue eyes, the water glittering on his bronze skin. He grinned, suddenly feeling shy, as she finally reached him. She rose from the water, placing her arms around his neck, not letting go of their gaze and kissed him gently. He kissed her back, holding her.
Chapter 22 Stubborn
‘I have made my decision.’ Sula spoke in a steady voice meeting Shazar the following morning.
On the edge of the woods where they stood he watched her in anticipation, standing so close, almost touching her, waiting patiently for her to continue. The sun shone in his eyes and he wore the black headband that covered his ears. She wondered where his belongings were or if he had any. She hadn’t seen him carry any rucksack or even a bedroll.
He won’t need anything, living like an animal that lives off the land, using their abilities to stay warm and dry, Sula thought, remembering herself when she led a nomadic life. She however did carry a rucksack with some books and personal belongings; no doubt Shazar would scold her for that too as it was very human to be attached to things.
‘It is for the best this way,’ she said meeting his eyes. ‘You must agree with me that it is,’ she almost whispered, feeling slightly guilty but she owed him nothing personally. ‘We must part and you must find a human female to mate with and continue the line and perhaps you will find love as well. Maybe our children can come together one day.’ Oh, Bhan, I’m passing on the burden!
Hi
s eyes narrowed and his mouth thinned, waves of both anger and despair flaring his face.
‘How… can you talk like this? After all those years of searching?’ He shook his head, his throat felt thick with shock.
‘It’s for the best. It will only complicate our lives. I’m married, Shazar, and I love my family!’
‘Sula…Sula, your mind is clouded by your affection for the man. I won’t judge you anymore for that. You promised your mother, didn’t you? The Comyenti Oath…’
She blinked at that. How did he know?
He nodded understandingly. ‘You needed to mate. With this child a new future for the comyentis would come; that’s what both you and your mother believed. But you were both wrong as I explained previously! You have been lonely, never really fitting in with either animal kingdom or human world. But now that we have found each other you need never feel alone ever again. You can undo the bond, the Heartmerge, you know. It will be hard, but necessary.’
How arrogant is he! ‘No,’ she said simply, frowning. ‘There are other options. I have thought about it!’
Shazar regarded her for a long moment. She was so beautiful, like no human woman could be, and he knew he was better looking than her handsome man was but it shouldn’t be their looks that mattered to either of them. It was the principle of things.
She had softened and forgotten the importance of their mission.
Weak like a human!
‘There are no other options,’ he answered her matter-of-factly.
She sighed. He was so stubborn, even more than she was, and it would be hard to convince him.
‘I understand that it must come as a shock for you to find another comyenti already bound to another man.’
‘Bound? You are not bound, Sula! A comyenti does not let herself become bound to anyone. Only humans do that sort of thing. True, swans and wolves mate for life among other animals, as do we. But our bond is different to those strict chains of humans. You have forgotten the ways of the comyenti… or don’t know them! I could teach you. You are a free solitary spirit and with me you would stay free. Even free to see what’s his name…Felix. I would never claim you.’
She studied his almost feminine features and the fixed expression of his dark green eyes.
‘I’m married to Felix. I took my wedding vow.’
‘You mean your Comyenti Oath?’
‘Of course.’ She showed him her wedding band on her left hand; a silver ring with a tiny scarlet heart that shone bright in the sunlight.
‘Ai!!!’
‘What else did you expect after five years of being with Felix?’ She shook her head in annoyance.
‘He proposed to me after Fay’s birth,’ and she smiled, remembering. ‘during my pregnancy. He always somehow feared I would leave but wisely didn’t mention the subject of marriage, although it’s highly unheard of around here not to marry before the birth of a child. We were the talk of the village but Felix, proud as he was, respected and loved me already so much. Instead, he gave me the opportunity to settle in.’
‘Hmm, human rituals are nothing but folly! Marriage, pah! Empty and meaningless and adultery is very common amongst humans. No, our Heartmerge is sacred and comyentis mate for life. We don’t need rings or other symbols as proof of that!’
‘Don’t lecture me! I cannot. Besides…giving up my life as I know it and my Heartmerge with him would be…like dying.’
‘Then…he has made you happy…’
‘Yes!’
Sula tried to calm herself down and stared up at the strong beech tree near her; the sun through its leaves, giving them an almost yellow colour, touching its smooth grey bark. Her heartbeat slowed right down. Trees did that to her.
‘That’s good but you and I know it won’t last. He can never fully be a match for you like I can. You will lose him anyhow. You will outlive him by more than a hundred years. That is a long time, Sula. Have you talked to him about it?’
‘I have,’ her voice sounded fragile and tired. ‘He knew that this day could come and however hard it is for him in some ways he supports me in whatever choice I make. Felix loves me.’
Shazar sniffed and brushed it off. The guy wouldn’t be a threat to his plan anyway. He was no match for Shazar.
‘Let me spend some time with you,’ he started. ‘make you see-’
‘I cannot! I have already made up my mind, brother! I am deeply sorry, but for what it’s worth, I still want you to be a part in my life and learn more about our heritage from you. I know so little.’
He looked startled. He wasn’t letting go of her now that he had found her and he certainly wouldn’t settle for less than to be her partner, her mate, her lover, or at least the father of their children! As if she read his mind she said, ‘I did think about the possibility of you and I having children together and thus ensuring a strong comyenti line,’ Sula sighed. ‘I know I owe it to our species, all those that died,’ She rubbed her forehead. ‘I wouldn’t have to leave Felix. I told him and he said he would accept it. What do you think about that? We would still be thinking about the future of our kind, we wouldn’t have to love each other. And you could see your children once in a while.’
He bit his lip.
Well, at least she will have me mate with her. I could show her.
‘Sounds reasonable, but couldn’t you…love me?’
‘My heart belongs to another. I told you. It hasn’t got to do with me being married to him or any bond,’ she touched her heart. ‘It goes deeper than that. It was already like that before the Heartmerge-’
The Heartmerge! It suddenly dawned on her that a bond between her and Shazar would be formed if they tried to have children; a bond she really could do without. He would be able to hear her thoughts! But before she could open her mouth to ask, he said, ‘I…I have to think about your suggestion.’
She nodded gravely, ‘I have another one as well,’ she started, her eyes calmer now. ‘If you would find someone to love and mate with; a human female I mean, and start a family with, my children; mine and Felix and yours, half comyenti, could continue the line. For if I do give birth to our children they would also have to mate eventually with a human again, since there are no other comyentis. They can’t possible mate with each other so what difference would it make in the end? I think we have a better chance in continuing the line if we both mate a human! Gradually there would be more comyentis; halflings yes, but coming together better and at least raising their families and spreading our kind. We will see to it that they keep their abilities alive, even though it might be harder to master the Mindmerge, we’ll teach them. Fay is managing the Mindmerge already really well,’ she looked at him intensely. ‘We won’t have to be alone and even better we will be linked together by our connected families; growing larger and stronger. Building a new comyenti civilisation.’
It was silent for a long time, Shazar lost in his thoughts and Sula staring at him trying to read his mind.
She does have a point. But she wouldn’t be mine. His heart sank to his feet. Since when did he become so selfish and possessive? He admitted to himself that he would be disappointed if he could not be her partner, even if it was all for the higher purpose. Comyentis mated for life; it was in their instincts, so it wasn’t so strange for Sula not to want to let go of Felix, nor Shazar to be able to let go of her that easily.
‘No, not with halflings,’ he shook his head. ‘Our children would be comyenti again.’
She sighed. ‘Even if we have ten children together; they will all have to find a human again to make babies with and they too will be halflings or quarterlings or whatever! What is the difference? It is inevitable, Shazar! Why are you so against halflings, because we’re mixed with humans, your enemy? They will still have our abilities, they won’t be anything less! I have grown to accept certain things and by loving a human I have risen above myself, but above all I’ve found the strength and kindness in my own heart to free myself from any hatred and bigotry! So can you, Shazar,�
�� she added a bit milder.
‘Our children, mixed with humans, thus combined will be the future!’
Shazar’s face was one full of horror and his eyes were shifting colour rapidly.
No, I won’t stand for it!
~~~
Shazar still fumed inside and could not accept her proposal.
‘Shazar, I don’t want to lose you altogether but I think it’s for the best if you go along with my idea!’
‘What? Finding a human female, mating with her, having halflings, my halflings mating with your quarterlings or even humans again?’ His face crimsoned at the thought. He felt embarrassed and hurt.
‘Not all humans are as bad as you think. Back in my village-’
‘You live in a human village?!’ His voice rose.
‘Yes, no, well only on the outskirts of one, I thought I told you-’
He stood up with warning eyes and a tight jaw.
‘You must leave that place before they hurt you!’
Sula licked her lips. ‘Must I?’ With her own eyes bearing nothing but anger now, glaring at him, she spoke, ‘You do not command me! The Rosinhillers are friendly animal loving people. They do not suspect I’m comyenti. They know I am different, but so are Felix and his sister-’
‘It is only a matter of time before they will find out. They always do!’ He shouted.
‘Even if they do, I don’t fear them nor should you. They have become my friends. I will show you.’
‘I don’t fear them, I despise them!’ he said with narrowed eyes. ‘You seem to have forgotten our past, all the lives that were lost at their hands!’
No, it certainly wasn’t fear she saw in his eyes, it was hatred all right.
‘In a group they are dangerous and I won’t come with you to this village, nor will a child of mine ever set foot there! I will raise my children with you somewhere else. We can travel and stay safe. We were already nomads before the killing started,’ He now looked at her with pleading eyes and said in a softer voice, ‘Please think about it. If you are going to have my children you can’t possibly stay in a human village?’
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 18