The snow goose that responded would be the one who was willing to make the Mindmerge. It was a harmless procedure and did not involve any pain or loss on either side. If anything it was a gain for both parties, for the comyenti she would gain the animal’s abilities and for the goose they not only received her respect and gratitude but the comyenti would also be indebted to them for life and promise safety for not only the individual but the entire species as much as they could. It wasn’t the Comyenti Oath, but if they ever called out in need, Sula would hear it and she would have to submit to that call and aid the animal in need. That was the agreement. Such was the bond and respect, for without its abilities she would not be comyenti.
‘Now, look, see here she comes,’ Sula whispered to Fay who was kneeling down so that she would be at eye level with the goose that swam closer to them, leaving the rest of its flock.
Fay was exited and held on to her mother’s knee, her eyes wide and full of anticipation.
‘Remember it’s the same as before, no different,’ she reminded her daughter.
Fay nodded and crossed her heart with her tiny hands and concentrated trying to remember the right words but most of all the meaning behind the words, ‘Greetings gentle soul. I am comyenti. You are goose. We are sisters. I give you my trust. I pledge you protection and life long safety should you ever be in need or your life in danger. I ask of you your skills: flight; the use of your wings, your sight, smell and sense of direction and the warmth of your feathers. That which makes you a goose. Do you agree?’
The goose closed its eyes once and Fay heard the goose’s approval. It almost sounded like a sigh.
Fay smiled and Sula knew she’d passed the first step.
Now came the hardest part: the unique Mindmerge. Not easy for a four year old quarterling.
My mind, your mind, my heart, your heart, my heartbeat, your heartbeat. Your mind, my mind, your heart, my heart, your heartbeat, my heartbeat. The chant went on for a couple of minutes until the link, the merge was established.
Both the goose and Fay had their eyes locked, the little girl’s dark blue eyes shifted colour constantly but the goose looked like it was in a trance, and was completely composed.
Now came the third and most important step, and if they were disturbed it could be fatal for both of them as they could remain stuck in each other’s head; thinking they were the other.
Sula protected them both with an invisible shield which she cast over them and held guard; a luxury Sula hadn’t had during her training. In fact it nearly cost her her life once.
Your mind, my mind, your heart, my heart, your flight, mine. Your flight, mine, mine.
And it was done.
Fay thanked the goose as she felt the tingle of wings on her back and bowed slightly.
‘Forever in your debt…’
The goose’s eyes blinked and she also bowed, her head nearly touching the water, before turning and swimming back to join the flock.
Sula hugged her daughter proudly and shed a tear.
‘That was amazing!’ Fay exclaimed.
‘You did great and remembered it all. A goose is a creature that links the sky with the earth beneath it and is much more than what most people think, it’s an incredible, intelligent and versatile being. You’ll discover that the more intelligent an animal is, the more impressive the experience,’ and Sula stood. ‘Come, we have to prepare you for the next and final step. To be able to use what you’ve just gained so that it all becomes a Mindskill. The one that will take some time to master will be one of the best abilities you’ll ever possess, the power of flight.’
Fay smiled at her mother, her eyes shining with the excitement. From now on she would have the power to be the goose on command, her own goose would be inside of her.
~~~
‘So how did it go?’ Felix asked his daughter that evening over dinner.
‘It was amazing, daddy.’
‘She fell a couple of times but no broken bones. She did really well,’ Sula added.
‘Uhuh, I did. The start was the hardest,’ Fay said facing her father. ‘You sort of imagine your wings to open and start flapping them really hard, then you have to run faster and faster until you feel the air underneath your wings, which are not really there but I could feel them! And then you just take off! You should have seen me, daddy!’
Felix smiled at the stream of words coming from his precious daughter’s mouth. So grown up.
‘I’d like to, tomorrow. Just be careful young lady. I would like to see you grow old without killing yourself!’
‘I am. As long as I stay con…cen…trated,’ she said slowly, emphasizing the words. ‘Don’t worry, daddy, nothing can happen.’
Felix looked at his wife and clearly remembered her falling out of the sky that day they met. Sula had told him what had happened; she had lost the bond with the goose inside her for only a fleeting moment. She had been tired and the weather had been extremely bad.
Sula smiled at him, knowing what he thought, seeing the pictures he saw. He looked sad these days. She still wouldn’t let him near her. For some reason she couldn’t and the longer they waited the more difficult it got. Their bond was weakening significantly.
‘We’ll practise every day until flight becomes second nature,’ Sula said.
‘You like the goose, don’t you mummy? I can see why now.’
‘Yes, she is one of my favourite animals, as is the albatross, they are truly magnificent as they can even sleep in the air and don’t have to come down to rest at all. One day you might need this ability, who knows, but for now the snow goose will do. Finish your dinner otherwise you won’t have any strength for tomorrow.’
When Felix had cleared the table and he had put Fay to bed like he always did they were finally alone, for the first time that day. Sula felt awkward and ill at ease.
Felix came to sit opposite her by the big table getting a piece of wood out, along with a knife and his trusty chisel. Sula stared out of the window in thought. She seemed sad and miles away. Felix’s eyes shifted from her to his new piece of wood, sighing deeply to himself and then began to work. She had her collection of dried flowers out but they were untouched so far. She loved to press them between thin layers of parchment so that their beauty would still be preserved over time, even though summer was long gone.
Felix stared at her while her gaze drifted from the window to the flowers and then finally to him. She had felt him staring at her and her hands moved with ease whilst she concentrated on her flowers again. They usually kept her mind occupied just as woodwork did that for him.
Here we go again, Sula thought when he stopped his work and leaned in closer licking his lips as if to say something.
Why can’t he just leave me alone for one evening?
‘Isn’t that somehow cruel?’
‘What?’ For a moment she thought he had heard her thoughts. Impossible!
He pointed at her work.
‘Those dead flowers. That’s somehow not like you.’
She shrugged her shoulders.
‘Well, I always make sure I pick one or two and leave the rest.’ She touched her flowers ever so gently with her fingertips. Felix was jealous of those flowers. They seemed to receive more love than he did.
‘Yes, but they die.’ It sounded more like a question or accusation than a statement.
‘I only take a couple and leave the rest for the bees. The flowers would have withered away anyway,’ she retorted idly without looking at him. ‘They only last a couple of days, weeks at the most. And don’t forget I leave the roots so that the plant survives. I know it might seem somewhat strange; me doing this, but the way I see it, by pressing them between parchment, the flower continues to live on. Their beauty remains.’ And she picked up one of the parchments and showed it to Felix.
‘Hmm, they sure are pretty like this; delicate and forever young. But their colour has faded, their scent and most important; their soul is gone. What you see here is only a
reflection of what they once were.’
Silence.
She looked up from her dried flowers and stared into his eyes, reading his thoughts, but he had deliberately closed his mind from her, which he sometimes did when he didn’t want her to know what he thought.
‘What are you trying to say, Felix? That I’m like those flowers; my beauty faded and my being soulless?’ She had raised her voice, becoming more irritated by him.
Felix grinned foolishly at that. ‘No my love, never! You are as beautiful as ever and grow in beauty with every day, within and externally too.’ He had spoken the truth for now he’d opened his mind to her to let her see he was being genuine. A picture of Feline flashed in his mind before he said, ‘I… saw my sis today.’
Sula looked away quickly, avoiding his eyes, afraid to show him her feelings, swallowing hard.
‘What did she say?’ They hadn’t seen each other since that day, now more than a week ago.
‘Huh! She more or less gave me a lecture. How my eager behaviour and drinking is driving you away from me. I need to let you be yourself more. Give you more space and freedom,’ he glanced at her flowers. ‘Flowers can only be admired when they’re still alive. As soon as you pick them, you become selfish, for you can never own their beauty; their love. Love is not about possession.’
Sula’s eyes grew bigger.
‘She told you that?’
Felix gave her a weak smile. ‘More or less. She reminded me. She was always wiser than me. Even as a child she was more thoughtful. But it’s true. You are a wild bird…or flower huh, it’s all the same!’ Bottom line is…you’re special…to me and I love you. I feel like I’m losing you.
Sula sighed and smiled at him. She reached out over her flowers for his hands and held them in hers. They sat like this for a long time staring into each other’s eyes. Felix looked almost tearful at her touch.
‘I do love you, Felix.’
He had a pained look on his face.
‘Then why do I feel that it somehow isn’t enough?’ he said with a broken voice.
‘Because…’ she chose her words carefully. ‘I have this need to remain free…I can’t explain it.’ She looked down at her flowers.
I don’t want to be like this! Cut off from my roots, picked and pressed to be admired. Dead. In a house…near a village; away from the untamed wild spaces.
‘I will try my best, my love. Just tell me what I can do to help you.’
‘Just let me be me for starters. Don’t always try to make contact when all I need is some quiet time. Don’t try to change me or catch me all the time. It chases me away,’ Sula said carefully.
‘Alright, I can do that. But…but I miss you. You’re my wife…’
You just told me love is not about possession! Sula thought confused.
‘Maybe comyentis are not supposed to be bound like this. Maybe we are not even…monogamous?’
Felix raised his eyebrows. ‘Is that what Shazar told you?’ He squeezed his eyes now into slits, ice cold in sudden anger and released his hands slowly out of hers. His knuckles were white.
‘No, no! In fact he said comyentis mated for life through the Heartmerge.’
‘Heartmerge!’ he said it disdainfully.
‘What?’ She tried to find out what he meant but understood soon enough.
‘What’s it worth if not sustained?’ Felix said with pain showing in his eyes.
She sighed. Of course… ‘I’m just a bit tired lately!’ she said upset.
‘Why have I never been able to hear your thoughts, you can hear mine?’
‘You know why, because you’re human, Felix. Now, don’t be such a martyr.’
‘Shazar had no idea what marriage meant. He thought that I’m keeping you in chains or something, even though I told him I respected you. And I told and showed you the same!’ he said upset.
‘Well, you haven’t been behaving like it lately!’
‘How so?’
‘You’re always there!’
‘I desire you! I love you! You can’t blame me for that? I’m like a bee, Sula, I need to be close to you. I need your… honey, to survive on, to live… Without you… I will wither away and will be the one that dies.’
She smiled warmly at that and said, ‘My heart as ever belongs to you,’ taking his hands back into hers. ‘Just as the birds in our garden are sometimes quiet, or even absent, and sometimes wild and fluttering, my heart is the same.’
‘Will you stop comparing yourself to a bloody bird! You are not, you are human too!’
So that’s it?
With an open mouth she withdrew her hands and feeling hurt she replied, ‘You just compared yourself to a bee! Why do I have the feeling you can say and do anything you want but I can’t! You do restrict me, Felix, by not understanding me properly!’
‘I never knew you could be so dramatic, Great Bhan!’ Felix said moodily.
She stood and paced up and down the room, just like she had done in Feline’s kitchen. Like an animal trapped.
Feline.
‘I’ve never felt like this for any woman before!’ Felix said trough gritted teeth.
I have… Sula thought, thinking about Feline again. What was wrong with her? Here was her husband in front of her opening up his heart and soul to her, and all she could think of was his sister...
‘You’ve not even asked what I’m making,’ Felix said hurt. ‘Before you were always interested in me and my art!’
She glanced at him and sighed guiltily, ‘Sorry, what are you making?’
‘Hmm, I wish I could read your mind at this very moment because that didn’t sound very sincere!’
‘It was! Never mind me. I just have a lot on my mind lately. Please, what will you make?’
Felix touched the piece of wood with his slender fingers. ‘A goose.’
Sula bit her lip at that. ‘For me?’
‘No, for Fay.’
‘Oh.’ She was a bit hurt but then again she felt pleased for Fay, knowing the girl would love it.
‘I was thinking of making a figurine every time she masters a new animal ability,’ he said.
Sula was touched and a tear came to her eye. Felix saw.
‘What’s wrong now?’
‘Nothing,’ she looked away. ‘I think it’s a lovely gesture, Felix.’
‘I’m glad you agree,’ he said grumpily and he started working on his art. He used to do that in the farmhouse, instead he made a mess in their house. He knew how she hated that! Sula stood up suddenly and walked to the door.
‘You’re going out? To see Feline?’
She shook her head.
‘Gosh, you’ve not seen her in a couple of days. Have you fallen out with her?’ She noticed the hint or irony in his voice.
So he is jealous, ‘No, no. I’m just going for a walk.’
Felix sighed, sad to be left alone again, feeling the urge to stand up and grab her, but he resisted, knowing he should leave her be. That advice from his sister didn’t seem to be working much though…
She stepped outside and she was alone, finally but it didn’t feel good like it usually did. Sula knew she should feel privileged to be loved by him. He was a kind and loving soul. He respected and honoured her most of the time, although lately, after they had returned from their holiday and having met Shazar, he hadn’t given her much of that needed time alone. She had started to wonder if it was always like this for people who shared the Heartmerge but didn’t maintain the physical intimate side of it. Perhaps it had side effects for humans she wasn’t aware of?
Perhaps it needed to be kept warm; ‘sustained’ as Felix had called it, in order for it to work? If not, the two lovers would start to grow apart and even dislike each other?
What do I know?
She wished she did, but her mother didn’t know for she left her lover before she could find out and Shazar…he might have known more about it, although he told her he himself had never experienced a Heartmerge before?
In her heart Sula knew she loved Felix still, even before they shared the intimate bond she had had feelings for him she could not explain.
But what if the Heartmerge actually worked as a certain curse? For both her and Felix?
But then I have no other choice than leave…
She had no one to ask and didn’t particularly want to go and find Shazar to ask what he knew. He had told her where he was going, so that wouldn’t be a problem, however… she was reluctant to go to him. She didn’t dare to go see Feline, she was too afraid of the consequences.
Perhaps it was for the best to leave everything just for a while; to go and sort out her thoughts and give their relationship a well needed rest.
Yes, that’s it. Fay’s training will have to wait.
She decided to leave the next day.
Chapter 29 Spellbound
Feline’s heart felt heavy as she made her way down to the village on her brown steed. It had been raining for the past three days and the forest floor was muddy.
She didn’t feel like venturing to their house but she hadn’t seen Sula or Fay for three weeks and her heart ached.
Moreover she was worried. She had spoken to Felix more than a week ago and he promised he would be better and give Sula more space.
But now she wanted to find out for herself if anything had changed. She owed it to Sula. They were her only family and her parents didn’t want to interfere in their business. Apparently they too hadn’t seen or heard from any of them, but her mother had told Feline that Sula was giving Fay some kind of training and not to worry.
Passing by her parents’ orchard, she glanced at the pear trees where she and Felix used to play when they were Fay’s age. They used to be best friends.
Carrying on down the road she soon reached their cosy home. Feline felt her heartache worsen upon smelling the scent of Sula’s last roses. The yellow/peachy rose that had been a gift from Sula was still going strong in its vase on her kitchen table where they both spent so many nights talking and laughing.
Feline did and didn’t want to be there.
She slid off her horse easily and looked around Sula’s colourful garden with its many birds twittering and fluttering around eating the seeds Sula had left for them. She would normally have been here at this time of day, but she could be out with Fay or doing chores. She looked back and wondered whether to look for Felix to ask him.
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 24