‘She is with the spirits now,’ Shazar reflected calmly.
‘How convenient for you!’
That hurt Shazar, Twello could see it in his eyes.
‘I don’t like your attitude, Twello. If you have something to say just say it!’ Shazar said calmly whilst clearly upset… his eyes were shifting shades of green and yellow. ‘You know I can’t read your mind!’
Shazar was sitting at the foot of one of the cedars and Twello rose above him, feeling taller than him now, and bolstered by his own anger.
‘Her spirit is in that house,’ Twello pointed in direction where they had come from. ‘in her garden, the flowers she has sown, her paintings, our boat, our beach, the sea… and you are about to leave all that behind!’ Fresh tears were welling up in Twello’s eyes.
Shazar stared at him, nodding in agreement, but then he closed his dark green eyes and felt the wind on his face as he inhaled the sweet scented air.
‘Do you feel that; this sweet breath of air? She is in the wind, son. Soulwind, she called it. The flowers, the trees, the sap of the trees and the rustle through their leaves, the air in my lungs.’ He smiled lovingly and patted his chest. ‘My heart…She is everywhere now, Twello. Not bound to a house, or her garden.’ And he swallowed. ‘Yes, she loved her garden, but she loved all gardens and every flower, every beach… She won’t be bound to any place, that’s not like her. In death there are no ties. To be honest, I haven’t felt her at home. She is truly free, and in every flower now. She can go wherever she wants to and is with us if she so chooses, until she moves on.’
Twello grumbled at that. It was so hard to be angry with his father when he made everything sound so reasonable, and he knew Ashanna would have said pretty much the same thing. They were two peas in a pod.
Nevertheless, an image kept haunting him: an image he had not forgotten and never would. Twello had not been able to see her face, she had not turned around, but he could imagine the fear in her eyes and in her heart as she stood on that cliff just before she fell…
It was you! You drove her off the edge!
How could he forget? He bit his lip so hard it started to bleed. And now Shazar was leaving too! Part of Twello wanted Shazar to leave, since he felt so much anger towards Ashanna and him, especially him!
‘It hurts too much to stay,’ Shazar said quietly. ‘Her memory lives on in you and me, wherever we go, wherever we are.’
‘It hurt so much that you betray her like this?’ Twello’s voice quivered.
Shazar shook his head gravely, ‘I see it upsets you terribly. I’m sorry but-’
‘Upsets me? It hurts like a hammer on my head that you cannot wait to be reunited again with that other woman!’
‘Ai! Other comyenti,’ he corrected. ‘I know it must be hard for you to understand-’
‘Oh is that so? You think I am stupid?’ Twello said vehemently.
‘You’re not, you know I think you are very clever.’
‘Maybe so, but I am no comyenti!’
Shazar’s mouth opened slowly, then it closed, with his jaws tensed.
‘So…that’s the topic of this discussion? That’s why you followed me, isn’t it? To see what they’re like, because we could have had this conversation at home.’
Twello dropped his face, not wanting to show his coming tears. His father knew him so well; he didn’t need to read his mind to know that that was how he felt.
‘I was never good enough for you, neither was she.’
That stung and Shazar swallowed hard to get rid of the foul taste it brought to his mouth. It pained him to see his son thinking and talking that way. He stood up and spread his hands in a powerless gesture, stepping towards him.
‘That is not true and I am sorry if I ever made you feel-’
‘No!’ Twello hissed, as he drew his arms away from the soothing touch of his father.
‘We were always less! Nothing more than your shadow and the comyenti in general, even if you told me otherwise! Mum and I always knew, without the need to mind read! We’ve felt it even though you thought you were hiding it!’ Twello pointed at him accusingly.
The hate in his son’s eyes startled Shazar so much that he stumbled backwards and felt his eyes burning, filling with tears. His jaw dropped in disbelief. He suddenly felt betrayed.
‘I’ve always loved both of you, you know that… I am sorry for everything else,’ he muttered.
‘All those nice stories about the perfect and powerful comyenti, never a bad word! Well, guess what? You have your flaws too!’
Shazar instantly saw flashes in front of his inner eye of a young blond woman, with her ocean blue eyes, and the life slowly leaving them. Her body slammed against a tree with his hands around her neck, squeezing it tightly, lifting her off the ground.
He blinked a couple of times, trying to shake the upsetting image off. The memory he thought he had come to terms with until now…
‘Of course I do, I acknowledge that I’m not perfect! No one is, not even comyentis. That’s why we are here after all, as your mother used to say; to better ourselves, to learn, to become whole some day. Your mother understood and taught us that,’ and he sighed.
‘Look, I can appreciate and imagine what it must be like; feeling as if you’re always in my footsteps, but you’re different in your own way! You’re ready to leave your footprints on the world! You and your mother are better than any human! And besides you shouldn’t compare yourself with a comyenti-’
‘I didn’t, you did that for us!’ Twello replied furiously. ‘This, your leaving, only emphasizes that you couldn’t wait to finally be where you want to be; with your real family! We were only ever a surrogate to you.’
Shazar was appalled by his words and his eyes were shifting colours rapidly from the stress of the situation. Twello looked away, so as to not see the hurt in his eyes. Anger and grief were soon replaced with empathy for the last of his kind, and he remembered his sensitive nature and the love that Shazar had given him at a time he had felt so hurt and confused by the world. He remembered all that Shazar meant to him, and soon Twello regretted his words, wishing he could take them back.
‘Gods, I suspected, but underestimated the magnitude of your feelings. You’re so good at hiding them from me. Now I understand why.’ Shazar locked his eyes with his son. ‘Don’t you know how happy you and your mother have made me? How you’ve softened me, changed me for the better?’
Twello knew he was telling the truth just by looking at Shazar’s face; he smiled, and his eyes were calm and serene, but tears were rolling down his cheeks. Twello did know. There had never been angry words between his parents. There had sometimes been unspeakable sadness, but most of all there had been harmony and an abundance of love. That’s why none of this made sense to him. Why had Ashanna jumped, and how could Shazar leave so soon, and so easily? Shazar felt the strength of the tree against his back and breathed in deeply. He rested his hands on his bent knees in a relaxed fashion.
‘You’re a good man, Twello, gifted with many talents. You’re kind and caring, intelligent, compassionate and strong because of that. You have all the qualities a comyenti possesses. In fact…,’ he licked his lips, ‘before you and Ashanna, I never knew a human could be all this. I thought very… disapprovingly about them. I generalized and judged them, all of them in the same way, but I don’t any longer because of… you two.’
‘That may very well be, but I’ll never be as good as any super comyenti. Never able to use powers from animals, never able to communicate with them properly, to hear and see as well as you do. I’ll never be able to survive in extreme conditions, to hear other’s thoughts or have such a powerful love bond with anyone. No, I’m still only human and I will therefore always be less in your eyes, no matter what you say. I know I’ll never be as good as a true comyenti son, no matter how hard I try. And… I won’t be able to continue the line either,’ he said, with sad eyes, in a miserable voice.
I should have known that th
is is how he really feels, ‘I’m sorry son but I’ll never be able to change the fact I am a different species than you, and that I have more powers than any human will ever have; even you who has The Gift. I honestly wish that you were my son by blood! I’m so proud of you just as you are. Never underestimate the love I feel for you just as you are, son, as a person. I don’t want you to walk in my footsteps, I want you to walk next to me. You must love and accept yourself and your destiny. Perhaps even come to terms with the fact you’re human. I have!’ Shazar gave him a half smile trying to humour him.’
There were tears in Twello’s eyes now, but he tried to swallow them away.
‘I am truly sorry for everything, Twello. I never meant to upset your world the way I did. I don’t regret meeting you and Ashanna, and I never meant to hurt either of you in any way. Can you see why I avoid human contact? Not only out of fear of exposure, and to shun people’s barbaric ways, but also to avoid these conflicts; to avoid competition.’
For that is what it is! Don’t ever think I’m better than you. I can do different powerful things, but that doesn’t make me better or invincible. That’s why my people lost the battle…because of what people thought of us and wanted from us. Shazar thought but never said.
Twello looked slightly calmer but was suddenly enraged by his father’s last words.
‘So you’re saying that because I’m human I strive after conflict?’
‘It is human nature to do so and-’
‘You see what I mean? You always think yourself better than anyone else!’
‘No! Different, but not better! Didn’t you listen? All I am saying is that it’s human nature to cause conflict, and that they get a kick out of competition! Who is better than whom? Does it really matter? People always want more than what they’ve got and envy us. Comyentis who can do things people can only dream of; being able to fly, to run like the wind from one place to the other in no time, to breath under water like a fish, to protect ourselves from the elements, to live longer and keep our good looks! Can humans get any closer to immortality and being powerful as that?’
‘Hmm, with all due respect, but don’t start that again, Shazar!’ Twello, of course, had at times been envious of his father’s powers, but Shazar had always known that. Twello had never hidden the fact. Shazar understood to a point. If a comyenti was to be stripped bare, without their powers, their Mindmodes, they would surely feel the same way. But that was all he could do; imagine. Ashanna had never been envious of Shazar’s powers, perhaps the opposite; she had just accepted the way he was; with his abilities, and enjoyed them being part of him.
‘I’m saying that in general,’ Shazar started, ‘communication with humans causes misinterpretation, misunderstanding and disharmony. At least with other comyentis and animals, communication goes beyond words, so there is none of that! I wouldn’t have to truly argue or compete.’ If we’re angry with one another, that’s only because we are stripped bare, we hear and know what others think or want. That can be just as bad and hurtful, but at least it’s out in the open and honest. To know what another being thinks and feels allows us to avoid feeling suspicious or even being paranoid.
‘Most animals compete with one another and they fight over food and females too, it’s natural!’ Twello argued.
‘True, but are non-human animals ever jealous of what they haven’t got?’ Shazar asked.
When Twello didn’t reply, but just sighed Shazar continued, ‘Does a chicken ever look up at a duck with envy at its talent to soar across the skies?’
Twello remembered all his father’s lessons on animals and sighed, for he knew where this was going, also that he would lose the argument.
‘Well, I have ‘been’ the chicken and believe me they don’t. They accept their limitations. They just…are. And they make the best of a situation with what they’ve got.’
Twello nodded slowly, agreeing. He knew one of Shazar’s favourite lines was, “To truly understand a fish and to know what they feel and think, you have to ‘be’ the fish.”
This situation was no exception. Shazar noticed the boy’s irritation.
‘Anyway, back to our topic of communication; non-human animals understand without words, they see everything in pictures because a thought moves faster than words, is more accurate, and doesn’t conceal anything. Words can mean many things, depending on the interpreter,’ Shazar said, shaking his head. ‘It’s stressful to talk and even takes my energy away from me. I am merely stating facts son.’
‘Well, don’t, it’s annoying and arrogant!’
A smile painted Shazar’s lips, ‘That’s what your mother used to say too, though you know I never mean things personally. It’s just the way I am. Confronting and hurting as it may be, at least I am upfront and honest. So you must believe me when I say; you are my son, human or not.’
‘I know. And you came back for us, so you must have cared. But you should be man enough to accept the responsibilities.’
Twello leaned back on a tree and sighed, gazing up as he felt the soft shower of rain starting through the leaves, on his face.
Shazar smiled tenderly, ‘We have taught you well. Ashanna and I were alike even though we were of a different humanoid species. I was drawn to her. It suddenly didn’t matter that she couldn’t have my children once we found out. I needed her like she needed me and we both felt at home with one another. Home, Twello, I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. But it was you who saved her to start with, who brought her back to the world of the living. You healed each other, never forget that. I came back on impulse and when I saw you two again, love filled my heart and I knew I had come home. At that very moment I made a deliberate choice and I have never regretted it since.’
Chapter 15 Similarities
Twello inhaled the tangy autumn evening air deeply and sat down at the foot of the tree, opposite his father, at eye level.
‘I miss her. I can’t believe she’s gone,’ he spoke softly and stared through the trees past Shazar into space.
‘I do too, son. I do too.’ Shazar hesitated, but he stood and went to sit next to Twello, shortly after putting his arm around his son, radiating all his love to him. The boy felt it without a doubt; love was not to be feigned and no words were needed. They were silent for a long time, sitting side by side, when they heard an owl hoot nearby. It sounded eerie.
‘We still have some miles to go,’ Shazar spoke after a few moments, giving Twello a quick firm squeeze on his shoulder. ‘Now get some rest. I’ll see to Hazel for you,’ he said, pointing at the horse standing nearby. ‘She told me she has something stuck in her shoe.’ He went over to see to it.
Twello didn’t protest, but rubbed his neck. In all honesty, he actually wanted to see the other surviving comyenti for himself, after having heard so many stories for so long. It seemed his father didn’t object to him coming along after all.
What would she be like?
~~~
The next morning father and son got up early without speaking much, just exchanging a glance or two.
Twello rolled up his bedroll and had a quick bite to eat. Shazar shook his head at the food offered. Twello understood from this that his father was still in pain and probably nauseous from grief. But he didn’t worry too much as he knew that his father could go days, even weeks without nourishment, and even water, if he set his mind to it.
He is not the only one who’s lost her! Twello thought grimly, and had to restrain himself again from revealing to his father what he had seen that day, from what he knew, and how he resented him for it.
Shazar fed the horses a power breakfast of beet and carrots. He picked up the tension still slightly radiating from Twello. It was as if he hadn’t yet unleashed all of his emotions. Shazar couldn’t do much about it for now. The boy would just have to meet Sula for himself. Then, perhaps, he might fathom the situation better.
As they mounted their horses, the morning sky was golden, with dark, stale blue clouds on the horizon and th
e air smelled fresh and rich around them. Crossing many meadows and valleys, which were still covered in dew that lay like silver over the grass and flowers, they began their journey. They entered another large pinewood with a roaring wild river and they both felt the temperature getting chillier, the closer to the North they got. Every day they followed the river upstream. Shazar knew it led to a small village near the windy Balla Mountains further up north, where the river was born, its cold waters fed by glaciers.
It was late afternoon and the air carried scents of a nearby settlement. Shazar felt his heart starting to pound faster in his chest, both from anxiety of coming close to humans, and mainly of getting closer to Sula. The need to see her overcame his fear. When they approached the wooden bridge which led to the village Rosinhill, as Sula had explained all those years ago he halted for a moment. Twello look intently at his father who in turn stared in thought at the bridge.
‘What if she doesn’t want to see you?’
Shazar looked back at Twello with confident eyes.
‘She will,’ she has been waiting for this moment.
Even though Shazar had never seen the round houses Sula had mentioned and had never ridden nor walked the broad dirt streets here; he felt as though he had.
They were greeted with kind nods from three men who stood talking quietly in the middle of a copse of giant beeches, standing sentinel. The trees appeared to form a circle. Shazar looked so sure of himself that no one questioned them; suspecting that he and his companion had been there before.
One young woman with dark hair and a red headscarf was carrying a basket full of clothes, coming from the river a few feet away with a light trot, but suddenly she froze on the spot when she felt two pair of eyes on her, and turned to face Shazar.
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 39