‘No, no, I get it. I can see why, he is really handsome and charming, but he also gives me the creeps…I am sorry, Mum. If I had known he still has feelings for you I wouldn’t have brought him here.’
Sula hardly heard her daughter talk, she felt the wind along her cheek like a kiss and as she looked at Shazar disappearing into the distance she felt a sudden panic arising.
She sighed, ‘It wasn’t like that,’ but she knew that if she told Valera the truth, about how Shazar had taken advantage of her, she would grow to hate him.
‘There is a minor Heartmerge, so we can mind read, but other than that, there is nothing between us, and it was indeed a mutual agreement, with no feelings.’
‘Minor? No feelings? How strange that that is even possible!
‘If it’s one sided, it is not unlikely. There was no complete Heartmerge though. I don’t feel anything for Shazar; I never have and never will.’
‘Dad didn’t know though did he?’ Valera snapped at her. ‘That’s why he was so upset!’
Sula nodded in silence.
‘I didn’t know for sure myself, Valera. It was such a confusing time.’
Again she thought about Feline and sighed, picking up the basket while Valera rolled up the picnic rug. They quietly left for home, deep in thought.
Part V Past, Present, Future
Who will take away
Carry away sorrow,
Bear away grief?
Stream wash away
Float away sorrow,
Flow away, bear away
Wear away sorrow,
Carry away grief.
Mist hide away
Shroud my sorrow,
Cover the mountains,
Overcloud remembrance,
Hide away grief.
Earth take away
Make away sorrow,
Bury the lark’s bones
Under the turf.
Bury my grief.
Black crow tear away
Rend away sorrow,
Talon and beak
Pluck out the heart
And the nerves of pain
Tear away grief.
Kathleen Raine
Chapter 23 Last Hope
He was early, he realised, but he was so very excited to finally meet his son. Getting to know Sula’s children had been pleasant, and in a way they were his family, but Aigle was his true son; his blood.
And the comyenti future.
He sat down by the calm, broad river, on the soft, mossy bank near the bridge. The pine trees overhead were so fragrant, their scent filled his entire being. Gazing back at the silvery surface of the ever-running water, listening to its calming sound, a peace came over him, and his nerves soon disappeared. The sun was just setting behind the trees and everything was bathed in a tangerine, shimmering light. Soon darkness would cover everything like a safe blanket. No people would disturb them at this hour, and he and Aigle would be able to see each other no matter what.
Shazar started skipping flat pebbles in the river’s surface.
‘Rivers never stop running,’ he heard a mysterious voice whisper. ‘All rivers run to the sea.’
A gust of wind lifted the strands of hair from his black hair band and he looked up, alarmed.
‘Who is this?’ he whispered back to the wind, but he had a feeling he knew that voice. He had recognized it.
‘Great Yentil! It’s the dead woman talking, she has followed me here!’
The grey sky overhead was heavy with rain clouds but they would float over, Shazar knew for certain as the wind was dropping.
It makes sense, if she was Sula’s lover and perhaps had a Heartmerge, her spirit would. Oh, what a mess I’m in!
The time alone gave him some time to think. He tried to distract his mind with other things and it shifted to his son. Twello had not been upset when Shazar told him they would stay a few more days. The boy seemed to like it in the village and the inn, whereas Shazar had been more out and about the village, and its surrounding mountains and woods, to make sure everything was safe enough for the comyentis.
Twello had altered his attitude over the last couple of days, but Shazar had been too occupied to properly ask him what made him change his mind, and they both had their dinner at different times. He felt a little guilty that his son hadn’t had a chance to meet the comyentis properly, but knowing that there would be a party they were invited to, so that a final introduction on both sides would be possible, pleased him.
There would be so much to tell the other comyentis at the private party, so much they needed to know about their kind and their history. Aigle needed to know about his ancestors, and the importance of his survival, his safety and his task ahead.
Shazar heard him coming of course. Pity for Aigle; as he had would have loved to watch his biological father for a while before getting a chance to talk to him. Observing was one of his skills. He could tell a lot about people just by watching them when they were on their own, without any disturbance. However he had not wanted to spy on him really.
Aigle had spent the day with Felix. At first they had avoided the subject, but he wanted to talk about it, even though Felix would have rather not.
‘You’re still my true father. You raised me and I love only you,’ he had reassured him. Felix had had tears in his eyes and had embraced him tightly.
‘I love you, son,’ he had said and that was that. No more words needed to be spoken and they had made cider together just as before. Both had enjoyed each other’s company, and had talked and laughed about things that were simple, yet nevertheless, important to them.
Now he had to face his birth father which was hard on Aigle, although he was curious. He had heard they looked similar in appearance, but how much had he really inherited from him? No one truly knew Shazar and what he was actually like. All those years ago the man had acted like the last comyenti and that had given him his unjust mark, Aigle suspected. He was comyenti, and therefore could not be other than compassionate, sensitive and an empath. Although Aigle had forgiven Shazar for conceiving him, he had not forgiven him for the way he had set about in achieving his goals.
‘There you are,’ Shazar spoke, standing up.
Using his night vision he saw his son clearly. Yes, it was like looking into the mirror, twenty years ago.
You on the other hand have your whole life ahead of you, don’t you waste it!
‘Well, greetings, I hear you very noticeably in my head, so that’s proof enough.’
Shazar laughed, ‘It is beyond me why your parents never saw the obvious resemblance!’
‘Perhaps they didn’t want to see it or be reminded of it? Perhaps the memories were too painful, have you ever considered that?’ Aigle came closer, anger in his words.
Shazar’s eyes dimmed and softly he responded, ‘Yes, I was young and reckless and I’m sorry for the way I took advantage of the situation.’
‘It was the lowest thing a man can ever do to a woman! And if it hadn’t been for what Mum told me, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now, you can be sure of that! She assured me that she can’t remember it as she was drugged! Moreover she bears no real hard feelings, she is too good to be true! Dad sees it differently though.’
‘And you?’
‘I believe Mum, she cannot lie for her thoughts are clear as water to me, even when she tries to conceal them. But know that I find it very difficult to accept what you did to her, even though I’m the result. It almost feels an embarrassment to have a start like that. It’s something unforgivable!’
‘Hmm, so you are a skilled mind reader,’ Shazar tried to distract him.
‘It hardly takes effort with family; it’s a little harder with other people, yes.’
‘But you’re capable? I do hope you understand that you have to hide this knowledge?’
‘I do,’ and he looked away. To be lectured by this man, he wasn’t having it. ‘All my life I have been hearing we are the last of our species and the importance of
our safety, so yes, I do my very best,’ he said through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm.
Shazar nodded. ‘Our power comes with a price; it demands sacrifice and great responsibility.’
Aigle looked grave.
Amongst people you’ll always feel lonely, like an outsider, at times even alienated. Amongst animals you’ll feel understood, but at the same time you will always feel as if you are an in-between; not belonging to either group. Both sides will not recognize you as a part of them, so you’ll never fit in completely. The beasts will still be able to detect your human form and scent, no matter how good your deceptive skills are, and most will fear you. Mankind will not always appreciate your compassion and sensitive heart, your honest, unmasked soul. Nor your opened eyes, emotional intelligence and unique ways.’ He heard his father’s unspoken words.
Aigle’s eyes widened, recognizing that that was exactly how he mostly felt when he was out there in the world. That was why coming home was always a relief; there he could always be himself amongst his own kind.
Shazar suddenly reached out his hand and at first Aigle merely looked at it, but then returned the gesture. Shazar embraced him and held a hand on his neck.
My son, blood of my blood, you are a true restored comyenti in every sense, untouched by feeble human seed. I always wondered if I succeeded. Never feel ashamed about it. Sula understands and I hope you will too one day. I’m so proud of you, of what you have become. Shazar had tears in his eyes eying him up and down in approval, but Aigle kept his head cool, and Shazar sensed it. He withdrew to take a chance to look at him properly.
‘There is so much to tell and I would like to know all about you. Let’s sit down.’
They sat on the moss and Aigle stared momentarily at the bridge.
The place where Mum and Dad first met…
Shazar picked up his thought and sighed raising an eyebrow.
Great! Another place filled with loving memories. This place is full of them!
Aigle glanced sideways at Shazar.
‘My father is a romantic and has taught me to respect women,’ he said quietly. ‘to listen and attend to their needs; to be selfless. For the only way to gain a woman’s love is through reverence of her. Women are, in many ways our superiors, but true love can only exist when there is equality and mutual respect.’
One of Shazar’s eyebrows arched up.
‘You are giving me advice on relationships?’
‘No, I have no experience to do so yet. I’m giving you advice on how to respect women. You have disrespected my mother, and wronged her greatly, no matter what you say or even what she says for that matter, to make things seem alright.’
Shazar’s jaws tightened and his cheeks flushed. ‘Ever since I’ve arrived I’ve been accused and tried for the crimes of my past!’ his voice boomed.
‘You showed some nerve coming here at all, you know that? What else did you expect from us? A welcome party?’ Aigle retorted just as angry.
He rubbed his chin at that. Shazar did not appreciate sarcasm or resentment; very human traits.
‘I agree, I indeed showed a lot of nerve and took a great risk by coming here. That just shows that I’m not the same person I used to be. The old Shazar is long gone; he would not have come back in the first place.’
‘Yes, you might be right about that. That man would have preyed on us; awaiting the right moment to plan another attack, another rape.’
Shazar’s heart raced and he struggled to regain control, but he thought to himself, He is my son, he is comyenti, not human, so don’t be offended! ‘Hmm, maybe so,’ he replied. ‘But instead, I’m here now as an older and wiser man, trying to redeem myself. I came to say I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused, but more importantly, to build a relationship with my son.’
‘So you are completely over Sula?’
Shazar’s eyes were dark and full of sorrow and he took a moment to answer and when he did his voice was soft and tender.
‘I’ll always regret that she is not mine, and I’ll always love her, I can’t and won’t deny that. But as your mother so cleverly advised me, I have to think realistically and see things for how they are, not how I want them to be.’ Shazar licked his lips and gazed sombrely at the water. ‘Your dad is a very lucky man.’
‘He is,’ Aigle agreed. ‘I’ve never met anyone as beautiful and amazing as my mum. In fact the whole village is a little in love with her!’
I’m sure, ‘I am familiar with the Giant story. Most impressive,’ Shazar said out loud.
Aigle smiled tenderly. ‘Yes, the villagers owe their lives to my mother. It guarantees us our safety and our place in the tribe, so to speak, even today after so many years.’
‘Hmm, but still, living amongst them is most risky. Don’t they think it is odd your mother never ages as and her children grow up so slowly?’
‘We keep to ourselves a lot and they don’t see us daily, so they hardly notice. I moved out a couple of years back and Valera intends to live in the farmhouse full time next year. She still helps Mum out with the main house. The twins go to school in Rosinhill only once in a while, and they have no real friends there because of how infrequent they visit. We trade some things in the market, but we mostly provide for ourselves and therefore stay out of trouble.’ Just then memories of another threat crossed his mind; the shape-shifting lizard people: Ypaka as Sula called them.
They turned out to be more of a real threat than any Rosinviller, or any human, ever will!
Should he tell Shazar? Did he need to know?
Shazar picked up on something, but just in time Aigle blocked his mind. There was something about Shazar he didn’t trust, so he refrained from saying anything.
‘Hmm, well your mother’s decision was very risky. But let’s not talk about that. What about other people, outsiders?’
‘Are you interrogating me?’
‘I’m sorry, but I have to know about any dangers, any threat to us. We are the last, never forget that.’
Shazar only asked because, through the Heartmerge, he had felt that Sula had been in danger about five years ago. He had in fact, already been on his way to her, never mind the Comyenti Oath. He would have gladly broken it to save her, thereby losing his abilities, if need be. But just after he set off, he felt a sense of well-being coming from her, so he knew that she was alright again and that the danger was over.
Aigle gasped, ‘How in the world could I forget? If I were to tell you that some villagers are a threat would you deal with them accordingly, using violence?’ The boy’s green eyes narrowed, raising his voice slightly.
‘You think I am like that?’
‘I know from Mum about your violent past, she could not hide it from me. Even now I can still sense something…’
Shazar shrugged, closing himself up, not letting the boy near any of his past memories, which in itself, was suspicious. He was willing to talk about anything; anything but that…so he focussed only on his older memories just in case…
‘What my brother and I did in the past was wrong, but I cannot undo it. Don’t forget we saw our family slaughtered and I think it would trigger wrath in most people, even comyentis. If someone killed your mother and sister-’
‘I understand; you don’t have to explain. We have the power and you used it to get revenge for yourself. However I’ve been brought up without hatred in my heart. To not hit back if someone hits me unless there is really no other way. Don’t forget my mother’s grandparents were murdered too. Grandma Almaz was only little when she had to flee and went to live amongst wolves, but she could never quite forget. Despite this, she never retaliated, but chose a different life; a life of searching and travelling away from people, remaining true to herself, preventing herself from being changed by evil. We all have a choice! Although Mum was brought up to shun and hate people, she learned to see them with different eyes, starting when she met Dad and the Rosinhillers.’ Aigle had spoken with passion and his fist in front of his heart.
>
‘Hmm, I agree, it wasn’t right to take lives for lives. It is not our way. I have learned too, and am a different person now. I wouldn’t harm people anymore.’
Aigle’s eyes had shifted colour as he penetrated Shazar’s soul quickly to get to the truth of it and saw that his intentions were clear. His goodness was overpowering his darkness at that point. He had meant what he had said. He had indeed changed.
Aigle nodded, relaxing his shoulders somewhat.
‘Well, here in Rosinhill they’ve never heard of comyentis and my grandparents are kind and understanding. We have an agreement in our family never to discuss our abilities or use them within Rosinhill or among people in general of course. Only out of sight.’
‘Hmm yes, of vital importance.’
There was a lengthy silence and they both stared at the continuing flow of the river. Shazar had been trying so hard to hide the images, of Felix’ sister, whilst Aigle was talking to him, that he was suddenly exhausted. Aigle was not to find out.
‘So tell me about yourself,’ Shazar said, breaking the stillness. ‘I have heard you have mastered your abilities better than the others, even your mother. That’s why you went away, to study the mind and better yourself, isn’t it?’
‘Is it because I am almost a full comyenti that it is easier for me?’ Aigle answered him with a question.
‘It is inevitable you should be more talented than your half-brother and sisters, yes. I have tried to lecture your mother about the need for our kind to stay pure; unmixed with humans, because our bloodline is getting thinned with every generation, mixed with human blood so that our kind will eventually die out, regardless. Your grandmother handled the situation wisely by mating with what seemed a closely related species: a human, to prevent extinction, and so did Sula when she met Felix. Interbreeding is not uncommon in the animal kingdom. What I have observed, however, is that the offspring are nearly always sterile. It is a miracle that your mother was able to breed with Felix at all, really. I’m still not sure how it was possible, especially considered we’re not from Bhan. I suspect the Heartmerge makes it achievable, but I have no way of knowing that for sure and frankly don’t want to. However, Sula’s children, your quarterling siblings, might never become sexually potent,’ Shazar shook his head and Aigle had to think a moment about this new information. It was indeed true that if a horse and a donkey mated, their offspring, a mule, even after mating with another donkey, horse or another mule would not produce offspring. Aigle had heard it before, but never linked it to his own species.
The Comyenti Series Book Bundle, Volume 1 and 2 (Epic Romantic Supernatural Fantasy) Page 48