Reid made a little choking noise. “Why doesn’t Elder Lloyd do something? They killed my fiancée. She was thirteen.”
Ember patted his hand.
The sarcasm in Dean’s eyes softened. “Your camp is too small to stand up against the other five. St. James, Campbell, McClintock, Wiśniewski, and Calhoun have been browbeating Lloyd for years, but he won’t budge. They’ve made it clear that if he rocks the boat, his camp will be destroyed. So, kids in other camps continue to disappear in the middle of the night, and Lloyd can do nothing while his kids die. I can honestly say he’s the only elder I don’t completely hate.”
I couldn’t deny the truth now. It all made too much sense. There were other odd circumstances about the disappearances, now that I thought about it. Both Isabel and Gregory had been too young to be on watch when they were taken, and I was certain that if I asked Christiana, she’d tell me that she was on watch, too. Benjamin had been on watch.
Wait a second. “I believe you, but what about Benjamin? He’s an active superhero.”
Eleanor glared at me, but Dean gave me a look that bordered on pity. “You mean, why would the elders want to sell the young, healthy guy who can heal people? The supposedly no-name, no-family guy who is untrained in combat and would be ridiculously easy to overpower and transport? You couldn’t have brought a better target into the camp if you’d tried. I bet St. James pissed himself with joy when he found out that he could tell the Westerners that he could sell them a healer. He probably got thousands for him.”
“He’s not so weak,” I shot back. “Or did you forget how you found him?” My eyes flickered to Eleanor.
“Oh yeah. Standing over those two guys, covered in blood and pissed off as hell. I still can’t believe that he had the stomach to do that.”
My team gasped in unison, and I remembered that they hadn’t heard the sordid tale.
“He’s a Trent,” I said. “He’s done a lot of things.”
“That’s right, you guys used to wear black hats. We’d all be up a creek without you, El. And the doc is useful.” Dean gave Eleanor a rakish smile and winked at her, causing her to turn vermillion.
Dean’s appreciative tone clashed with my internal turmoil. His description of his first encounter with Benjamin reinforced the fact that Benjamin had lied to me about how he’d escaped from the Westerners.
On top of that, my assertion that he’d “done a lot of things” was certainly true, but I didn’t know the details. But now that I understood why Benjamin and Beau had been robbing the Bell Enterprises Industrial Complex—and possibly the chemical lab in Baltimore—I wondered how much Benjamin knew about JM-104.
Had he ever been involved in a plot to recover the substance that could take away our powers?
“Excuse me,” I said, standing up from the table. “I need some air.”
22
“Knock knock,” I said, standing outside the tent Benjamin and Eleanor shared.
“Come in,” Benjamin’s weary voice answered.
I stepped inside and saw him stretched out on his cot, his scratchy wool blanket draped over him. He didn’t smile when he saw me, though it might have been because he was exhausted. Deep blue shadows underlined his eyes.
I sat down on Eleanor’s cot. “Sleeping in mid-morning? What hours are you working?”
He yawned. “I’ve been working all hours since I got here. Nobody here has any medical education whatsoever. I convinced Christiana to take a break from her horses to keep an eye on the flu patients. She’s already had it, so I don’t think she’ll get it again this season.” He rubbed his eyes. “What’s up?”
“I just spoke with Dean. He got us caught up on, well, everything.”
Benjamin propped himself up on his arm. “I wasn’t surprised when I found out that the elders orchestrated all of this. I never liked them.”
“It was a shock to me. But what wasn’t a shock was the part about supervillains being hired to find the JM-104.”
Benjamin sat up. “What about it?” Anger flashed in his eyes. “You think I’m hiding something from you?”
“Excuse me, I know you’re hiding something from me. I came to ask if you knew anything about JM-104, but if you’re going to be a brat, then I’ll just leave.”
“A brat? You’re the one who’s walking around assuming the worst about me because of what Artemis—”
“Was she lying, then? Did Berenice look me in the eye and lie about who shot her and why? Because she had no reason to lie, whereas—”
“Oh, get out. Just leave me to get five minutes of peace without having to deal with you and the stupid network of superheroes. God, none of you can ever lie to each other, can you? You’re all as righteous as the dawn. It’s just integrity and honesty and the usual crap which, from what I’ve seen, none of you actually believe in.”
A heavy silence followed his words. We’d argued before, but he’d never used that tone with me.
“I believe integrity and honesty are important in a relationship,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even. “And if you think that’s ‘crap,’ Benjamin—”
“I think everything you believe about being a hero is crap! How can you not? All those principles and traits were fed to you by the same people who shot me in the neck and sold me like chattel! How can you honestly sit there and tell me that any of it is real? Wake up!”
I stood up and strode out of the tent without a word.
Patrick had said the same thing to me once, right before killing nearly two hundred people and gloating about trying to rape Ember. He’d declared that none of our teachings were real, ergo, morality didn’t exist because we’d been taught morality, too.
I’d always based my morality on what I’d learned from the elders. The principles did exist. The traits did exist. Modeling them was the basis of being a hero.
At least, I thought it was.
I pressed the heels of my hands into my temples. I was so confused. Benjamin wasn’t evil, so I didn’t believe that he’d arrived at the same conclusion Patrick had. He wasn’t about to make it rain helicopters and try to rape Ember, or anyone else. But he was mocking my deeply-held beliefs again. He’d done this before, and it pissed me off every time. He made me feel inadequate and stupid, as if not understanding something he was saying was a crime.
Fatigue settled on me, but I realized that I’d never been assigned a tent, nor did any of my team have a place to rest. Some leader I was.
Dean and Graham were just leaving the leader’s tent when I walked up to them. “Dean, can I talk to you?”
His face lit up. “Sure, what’s going on?”
“My team needs places to sleep. Who’s in charge of that?”
Dean checked his watch. “Actually, we’re breaking down the camp in two hours and going back to the main location in Colorado, about six hours south of here. If you want to sleep until then, feel free to use my tent. Reid and Ember mentioned speaking with Christiana about the telepathic block. Marco went to look for Gregory.”
“What does Christiana know about the block on Ember’s telepathy?”
“I’m guessing a lot, since she’s the one causing it.” Dean glanced over his shoulder. “Hey, wanna get breakfast with me? They’ll stop serving in half an hour.”
“Sure.” I was hungry, and I didn’t want to sleep if my whole team was going to be awake.
I followed him into the steamy mess tent, and was pleased to see that only a handful of people were eating. Dean and I would get a chance to talk without being overheard.
We grabbed plates and piled small pancakes and sausage patties on them, then filled foam cups with orange juice. I sat down opposite him at a corner table.
Dean offered me his hand. “We never really got properly introduced. Like I said earlier, I’m Dean Monroe. I really am sorry about the way we met.”
I shook his hand. “Jillian Johnson. I’m sorry for calling you a dumbass.”
He began to cut up his pancakes. “Consider it forg
otten. Actually, when you started ranting at me even though you were injured and surrounded by shooters, it impressed me.”
I looked from my plate, startled.
He continued, “I’ve heard about you for years. After we rescued Gregory and explained what had happened and why, he wouldn’t stop insisting that we had to go to Georgia and get you. He was convinced that St. James disliked you and was going to sell you next. We had one hell of a time explaining to him that future superheroes don’t get sold.”
“He wasn’t wrong about Elder,” I mumbled. “He made sure I got my ass handed to me at the tribunal.”
“That couldn’t have been pretty. I bet they made an example out of you.”
I nodded, too glum to answer. Benjamin’s angry face floated in front of my eyes. I took a bite of my pancake, but the sweet syrup only reminded me of him more. He loved sweet things.
“That’s the third time you’ve sighed,” Dean said. “You thinking about the JM-104?”
“No.” I stirred my pancake pieces around my plate with my fork. “Just dumb relationship stuff.”
Dean stopped eating. “Relationship? With who?”
“Benjamin,” I muttered.
Dean cracked up. “You’re with the doc? I did not see that coming.” He drained his orange juice. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. And I’m not hungry anymore.” I pushed my plate away.
Dean leaned toward me. “I know it’s been a rough day for you, with the injury and your brother and everything. If you want to talk, though, I’m here to listen. Gregory is one of my best fighters, and he’s told me a lot about you. I feel like I kinda know you already, strange as that sounds.”
I looked up at him, surprised by the kind offer. Dean didn’t look like the kind of guy who’d be the sensitive, caring type. His lip piercings hinted at an edgier side, and his bright blue eyes lent his features an intensity that few men possessed without anger to fuel it.
But here he was, offering me a chance to vent. I didn’t feel like complaining about my stupid relationship problems with anyone on my team, who would be naturally biased toward one of us.
I put down my fork. “Benjamin and I had two fights today.”
“Two? Since you got here this morning? That’s gotta be some kind of record.”
“Yeah.” I dropped my head. “And a third right before he was taken. We always end up yelling at each other these days.”
“What were the fights about?”
“The one before the tribunal was about…” I trailed off, not sure if I was comfortable divulging to Dean the real cause of our first fight. “…well, he kept saying that my team grew up in a cult.”
“You did. You were very much in a cult. I’ve spent the last ten years deprogramming camp people, including your brother.”
“We’re a cult?”
Hearing the words from Dean wasn’t like hearing them from Benjamin. Dean was so matter-of-fact that it was like a doctor’s diagnosis instead of an accusation.
“Yes. So if the first fight was about that, then… well, he’s right.”
“It wasn’t just that. I hate the way he talks about us, though, like we’re… we’re…”
“Inferior?”
“Yes,” I gasped. “How did—”
“You’re not the first person to have this problem. We’re going back to our main settlement, where there are a lot of people who’ve never lived in the camps. I see arguments between freed slaves from the cult and the others all the time. People don’t understand what it’s like to be in a cult and how hard it is to get out. I bet, right now, you believe something weird the cult taught you that you don’t even consciously realize you believe.”
I remembered his words about marriage and consent. “Benjamin pointed out something like that. I didn’t realize that other people believed something else. It never crossed my mind.”
“Get ready for a whole lot of that. You’re in for a psychologically uncomfortable ride. Although, since you’re the first female leader in so long, I assume you’re familiar with cognitive dissonance. That’s when you believe two opposite things at once, like that women can’t be leaders but also that you’re a perfectly capable leader.”
I exhaled heavily. “The other fights weren’t about that, though. He used to be a supervillain. I found out in Baltimore that he’d shot a superhero, but he gets really angry whenever I bring up his past. Like, I just want him to be honest with me, you know? I don’t think he’s ever murdered babies or anything, but I want to know who I’m dating.”
Dean thought about that. “I don’t know what to tell you other than relationships are built on honesty and trust. If you can’t trust him, can you really be with him?”
I was still digesting that when Ken yelled from outside the tent, “Dean! The trucks are here!”
Dean frowned. “They’re early.” He picked up his plate. “On the road, why don’t you join me and Graham in our jeep? It would be nice to have some other company for once. I’ll ask Eleanor to sit with Christiana.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I’d be happy to.”
I left the tent and helped the Sentinels break down their camp, rolling up tents and poles, loading them onto yet more LMTVs.
An hour later, after the last cot had been tucked into the last truck, I found my four teammates and discussed seating arrangements.
“We’re okay riding with Christiana and Eleanor,” Ember said. “Christiana is really nice, and she thinks that with some practice she can remove the block on my telepathy. And I’m sure Eleanor will warm up soon. I think she’s just upset about what happened to Benjamin.” She craned her neck to look at Eleanor, who was standing against a jeep, scowling at Dean and Graham. “Well, I hope she warms up soon.”
“Just ask for her opinion about the Monty Hall problem,” Benjamin said. “Not only will she start talking, she’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist.”
“I’m sorry, but I already told Ken we’re riding with him,” Reid said. “He wants to talk about my past experiences with the Westerners.”
Ember wrinkled her nose. “I don’t see how I’d be a useful addition to that conversation. And why can’t you talk to him about that later? I already told Christiana and Eleanor we’d ride with them.”
“I don’t see how I’d be useful in that conversation.”
“How about you both come to the obvious conclusion and ride separately,” I said. Good grief.
Ember and Reid exchanged unhappy expressions, but nodded.
I turned to Marco. “Where are you riding?”
“With Gregory. He and the guys are taking the cattle car.”
“Lucky you,” I teased as I eyeballed the cramped, smelly truck they used for transporting the bulk of the Sentinels. I turned to Benjamin, whose crossed arms implied how he felt about being in my presence. “I don’t care who you ride with.”
“And where are you going to ride?” he asked, his voice flat.
I gave my most nonchalant shrug. “With Dean. He asked me to ride with him.”
Benjamin stood up a little straighter. “He did? When? Why?”
“He said my company was desirable while we were eating breakfast together.”
I enjoyed the shock on Benjamin’s face.
Marco and Reid gave me confused looks, but Ember glared at me.
His shock morphed into petulance. “What else did he say? I’d love to hear what Spider Bites has to say about your company.”
“What do you care? You wanted five minutes of peace without having to deal with me, right? And the stupid network of superheroes?” I gestured around to the other three. “Well, thanks to ‘Spider Bites,’ you won’t have to deal with me for six hours. As for the superheroes and our stupid network, you know where we’re all riding. Pick one of the other trucks, if you care so much.”
Benjamin looked as though he were about to say something, but without a word he turned and walked away in the direction of
Ken’s jeep.
Marco shot me a dark look. “What’s your problem?”
I waved him away. He stormed off toward the cattle car.
Ember and Reid gave me looks of clear disapproval. “I don’t know what just happened, but it wasn’t nice of you, Jill,” Ember said. “Obviously you two had a falling out, and you just dragged us all into it. That kind of thing should stay private.”
“Save it,” I snapped. “I’ll see you all in Colorado.”
As they walked away, I saw a small bird a few feet from me, standing on the top rack of a jeep. It cocked its head to the side as if studying me.
I put my hands on my hips. “What do you want? You mad at me, too?”
It looked at me for another second, then flew away in a rapid fluttering of wings and squeaks. I shook my head. You’re going crazy, Jill.
I left them and climbed into the passenger seat of the lead jeep. Graham sat in the back next to a small safe, which I assumed contained the JM-104.
Dean was at the wheel. “Buckle up,” he said, grinning crookedly. “We’ve got a long ride ahead of us. Rest if you need—you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“I might just.” I sighed, relieved to not have to deal with my team for so long. Beneath the relief lurked concern for Benjamin, whom I hoped had found a comfortable place to spend the drive.
As the convoy rumbled to life, I stared out the window into the distance, a heavy dread seeping into my core. Though we were in the wilderness, the specter of the camps still prowled around the edges of my mind.
They were watching. They were waiting. As soon as I blinked, they’d take aim.
I could not afford to rest.
Dean entertained me with tales of how various members of the Sentinels had come to join the group. Gregory, like most of them, had been rescued during a raid on a compound. He’d been with the Sentinels for three years.
As I listened to Dean tell me about my brother’s skill in battle, I felt as though I were listening to stories about a stranger, and not the boy I remembered. I couldn’t get the memory of Gregory’s hate-filled eyes out of my head, nor the memory of the sound of him loading the gun with which he’d intended to kill me.
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