"What happened?" Jake asked.
"Unhappy patient at the hospital," she repeated, turning away to hang her jacket. She couldn't face him. Call her a coward.
When she turned back, Jake had disappeared again.
Frowning, Letti headed toward the kitchen. "Hungry?" she asked, looking at Esther. Esther rolled her eyes. They had been through this song and dance before. Esther was never hungry anymore, always in too much pain, but Letti insisted she eat.
Pulling out the ingredients for a smoothie and some scrambled eggs, Letti began to mix everything up. When Jake entered the kitchen holding a rolled up bundle, Letti lifted her eyebrow at him.
"You can wear this while you wash your sweater, if you'd like," Jake said, placing the item on the counter and walking out of the kitchen again.
Letti eyed the object before picking it up and shaking it out. It was one of his sweatshirts from Western Washington University. The sight of it stabbed at her heart, and yet warmed it all the same. Jake wanted to make sure she wasn't uncomfortable. And wearing his sweatshirt was something she had always done while they had been together.
Unable to stop herself, Letti buried her face in the cloth and inhaled. It smelled like him. There was the fresh scent of laundry detergent, but an underlying fragrance that was all Jake. Letti pulled it away before she folded it back up and placed it on the counter. She needed to make sure Jake ate before he ran off to work.
Jake inhaled his eggs and smoothie before kissing his mother goodbye and leaving. As soon as the door shut behind him, Letti let out a sigh and dipped her head toward the sink, where she had been washing up the morning's dishes.
When she looked up, Letti gasped at the sight of Esther standing just inside the kitchen, a curious look on her face.
"Oh goodness, you scared me," Letti said, raising her hands to her frantically beating chest. "Are you alright? Do you need something?"
Esther looked pointedly at the front door, then lifted her notepad to Letti.
What happened?
A blush stole across Letti's neck and face. Unable to hide her mortification, Letti groaned.
"How did you find out?"
Jake. He could never hide anything from me. And you looked like you were sneaking in somewhere you didn't belong this morning.
Letti narrowed her eyes at Esther. "You're too observant for your own good."
Esther merely raised her eyebrows, a corner of her lips turning up.
"Come on, let's go sit. I'll make some tea."
Letti knew she was stalling, but Esther allowed her the temporary distraction.
How was she supposed to tell Jake's mother that he had kissed her? Would she lose her job?
When she couldn't stall any longer, Letti gathered the teapot and cups onto a tray and brought them to the living room. She set them on the coffee table, avoiding Esther's gaze. Then she busied herself with pouring the tea and asking Esther if she'd like milk and sugar. When Esther reached out and took her cup without a word and doctored it up herself, Letti sat back on the couch, her own cup untouched.
Esther passed over her notepad before Letti could decide what she should say.
Don't be afraid.
It reminded her of a verse in Isaiah. All at once, Letti relaxed, bolstered by the knowledge that God was with her.
"Jake kissed me last night," she said, her shoulders slumping. "I don't think he meant anything by it. It took us both by surprise." At a loss, Letti leaned forward to pour her own cup of tea.
Esther had a soft, pleased smile on her face when she pushed her notepad back over to Letti.
About time.
Letti inhaled her tea and began to cough. Gasping, Letti set her cup down before turning an incredulous look back to Esther.
"What are you talking about?"
Esther wrote while Letti watched. Communicating this way was a challenge for Esther, but the two of them had found a rhythm over the past couple of weeks. Letti found she didn't mind waiting for Esther to form her responses, which made things easier for the both of them.
Call me a sentimental old woman, but I know love when I see it.
Letti remained silent as shock poured through her, chilling her. She took another sip of her tea. It warmed her on the way down, though she felt tight with tension.
Could she still be in love with Jake? After all this time and their separation? Sure, she heard that people never forget their first love, but was what she felt something more? She had never so much as looked at another man since Jake left for college, too wrapped up with her own life and family to bother. Or so she had convinced herself. Was the truth simply that she didn't want to look?
Letti was honest enough with herself to admit that it might have been.
"You can't know if he feels that way for me," she said, her voice as soft as a whisper. "I hope you know that's not why I came back here to help you."
Esther nodded as she began to write.
I know, dear. But believe me when I say Jake has been lost without you.
Letti shook her head, refusing to believe it. Jake had his head on straight. He went to college. He had a steady job at Rowland Ranch to take care of his mother. He had his priorities straight and was a responsible man.
Esther pushed the notepad to her again.
He's not living. He's working and sleeping. He floats from one place to the other. The fact that he kissed you, even if you think it didn't mean anything, is his way of showing that he needs you.
Letti stared into her cup. Esther brought up a good point. Letti hadn't even seen Jake in town before she came to work for him. She never knew him to do anything other than work on the ranch and then come home.
But that wasn't Letti's responsibility. Letti wouldn't force Jake to do anything if he didn't want to.
"I understand your concerns as a mother," Letti said, ignoring Esther's frown. "But I think we both need to let things be. If Jake has an issue, he should be the one to say so, don't you think?"
Esther pursed her lips, but then gave a reluctant nod. She scribbled on the notepad.
You're already better for him than either of you realize.
Letti smiled and sipped her tea.
"I'm just glad you didn't fire me." Esther gave a silent laugh.
CHAPTER SIX
Jake brushed his horse, Duke, checking to make sure they were both ready for the show they were about to perform. This was the first of the three events he planned on participating in today. Nerves wracked him. It had been a long time since he had been in the saddle as part of the rodeo show.
Not that he hadn't been practicing. Morris had been gracious enough to allow Jake to borrow one Duke and start practicing those skills that had rusted over the years. The rope had felt both foreign and familiar in his hands, the sharp moves and exercises even more so with a new horse.
Winning anything would be a bonus.
He couldn't distract himself now with thoughts of the medical bills or his mother's health. Though, that seemed to be improving at least. Having Letti with her certainly helped. He needed to check in with Letti and see when the next PET scan would be.
He hoped it would be good news.
Shaking himself, Jake turned to grab the blanket and saddle from the lip of the gate. He swung them on, Duke shifting beneath them.
"Shh," Jake said, as much to himself as to the horse. "We're just having a little fun today. That's all."
"Well, if it isn't Jake Waller."
Jake froze for a moment before forcing himself to relax and pretend like the man behind him didn't affect him. Then he turned.
"And you're Chad, right? Chad..." Jake snapped his fingers to himself, as though trying to remember. "Henderson."
Chad's eyes narrowed, though they were small to begin with. He stood tall and thin, a black cowboy hat atop his lanky frame. He had worked hard to become a traveling favorite. They had been bitter rivals back in the day when Jake competed.
"What's an old guy like you doing back in the
ring?" Chad asked, spitting off to the side. Jake wrinkled his nose is disgust.
"Just here for old time's sake, don't worry. I'm not gonna be joining the circuit anytime soon." Jake turned back to the horse, adjusting the blanket and saddle just so he wouldn't have to look at Chad. He hoped the man would take the hint and leave, but Chad had always been a bit thick in that regard.
"Aw, well, that's a shame," Chad said, though his tone suggested the opposite. "I'm looking forward to beating you once again."
Jake winced. His last round in the rodeo ring had been a torturous one. He and Letti had just broken up and Jake had spent the night tossing and turning in his little twin bed. He was scheduled to go up to school in the next week and he couldn't bear the thought of hanging on to Letti, making her wait, while he was away. He knew college was a time for discovery, a time for both of them to learn more about themselves. He didn't want either of them to feel like they had to hang on to what they had together, as good as it had been.
The result of all that heavy thinking had been a lethargic and slow Jake in the arena. He had lost heavily that day, and couldn't bring himself to care. Chad had been crowing like a rooster at dawn, but Jake could only focus on the fact that Letti hadn't even shown up that day.
In the end, he had been grateful she hadn't.
"Let's just have a good time, huh?" Jake said, turning around and sticking his hand toward Chad. He had more important things to worry about than a petty rival.
Chad spat once again, this time into the dirt by Jake's cowboy boots. "Sure. Let's." Then he turned on a heel and strode away, head held high as though his hat were a crown.
Jake dropped his hand and allowed himself a very pleasurable eye-roll. Some people never changed.
Soon enough, the time came for Jake's first turn in the arena. Other cowboys tipped their hats or slapped Jake on the shoulder, wishing him luck with the calf roping. Nobody asked about his mother, though their situation was common knowledge among the circuit. Even Chad had kept his mouth shut about it. Bringing up such a sensitive topic could throw a rider off his game in a bad way and nobody wanted that.
People ended up dead that way.
When Jake bolted from the gate at the start of his round, the roar of the crowd temporarily deafened him. Adrenaline spiked through his bloodstream, reminding him of all the reasons why he loved rodeo. Grinning, Jake chased after the calf, rope twirling above his head, though he could tell something was off. He forced himself to clear his mind, to focus on the task at hand.
In the end, he was pleased with his time, though he knew he could have done better. Glancing up into the stands as he walked his horse out, he spotted Morris with his girl up near the top of the bleachers, and gave a tip of the hat.
A shout had Jake shifting his gaze lower. There, sitting front and center, were Letti and his mother, both dressed in full cowgirl regalia. Letti and Esther waved to him, grinning. His heart swelled and warmed at the sight. And for the first time in a long time, Jake felt something settle inside him that he hadn't realized had been disrupted.
He sent them a quick wink and tip of the hat before disappearing inside.
Part of him should have been upset that Letti had brought his mother out to the rodeo. She didn't have the energy. She should be at home resting, recovering. Her immune system was compromised from the treatment. If Jake understood anything the doctors said, it was this. Instead, Letti allowed Esther to come out, risk herself and her health.
But he couldn't be angry. Not with Letti. Not with his mother.
The kiss flashed in his mind's eye.
That kiss shouldn't have happened. It had been a mistake, a moment of weakness. But he couldn't deny the shock of pleasure that had raced through him at the feel of her soft lips. A strange sort of comfort. He had wanted to wrap her up in his arms and tell them both that he had made a mistake leaving all those years ago. He should have been happy and content with his life, with her. Instead, the world had beckoned and he had ran, leaving everything behind.
And yet, she was still there. As though waiting just for him.
A familiar burn deepened in Jake's chest, one he hadn't felt in years. More than anything, Jake wanted to put on a good show for his mother. And for Letti, if he were being truly honest with himself.
It might have mattered more than the money.
Shaking his head, Jake pushed aside all those thoughts and tried to focus back on the game. He wouldn't be impressing anybody if he didn't get his head on straight.
The next event would be barrel racing, which would test his agility on the horse. Seeing as how he still felt a bit rusty, Jake's game plan was to hang on and pray. When Jake entered the arena, his gaze immediately went up to where he had spotted Letti and his mother. They waved and cheered loudest of everybody. He sent them a confident grin.
It took a moment, but he realized he truly did feel confident.
"Let's go, boy," Jake said to Duke and started the race around the arena.
The old familiar moves felt comfortable rather than jarring. His hips and knees flowed with the animal beneath him as they twisted and turned around the barrels. The roar of the crowd muted beneath the racing of his heart and the rush of his breath. Duke snorted, jerking at the reins, as though in protest. Finally, Jake hightailed it right off the arena to a roar of noise.
"Nice work, Waller!" came several shouts at once. Jake grinned.
Even Chad's snarky comments couldn't assuage the natural high of a good round in the arena.
As Jake prepped for his final turn in the arena, he found himself wishing Letti were right next to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek for good luck, just like she used to all those years ago. Why couldn't they have that again? Suddenly, every excuse he had been making for himself over the years disappeared, irrelevant in the light of his rediscovered feelings.
He never really stopped loving her.
How many men get a second chance? Jake didn't know, but he wasn't about to question it. Today, right after this last round, he would find her and he would tell her.
The last event was the most challenging for Jake, though it had also been his best back in the day. Bronc riding had been a rush for him since the first day he fell off a crazed horse. He'd broken a few ribs and a collar bone over the course of his rodeo career, but it had been college that had taken him away from it. Now, he'd get a chance to jump back in, to prove to himself that he hadn't lost it.
"Can't handle the bull, huh? Settling for the bronc?" Chad taunted as Jake walked by.
Jake ignored him.
The horse wasn't his and was being prepped by a pair of hands that traveled with the circuit. When Jake climbed onto the horse in the bucking chute, the men steadied the horse, which had been kicking his legs in agitation. A good sign. The horse was raring to go. And so was Jake.
With a quick prayer, Jake grabbed hold of the handle that would be his only lifeline for the next eight seconds. Glancing up, he caught sight of Letti's golden hair before the gate flew open and the horse burst free.
The horse bucked, spun, grunted and screamed with the effort of kicking Jake off the horse. He kept his legs kicked up and out, marking the horse out and spurring him into action. Jake could only focus on the movement of the wild beast and his breathing, the world spinning away for those eight seconds.
Jake felt like he could fly away in that moment and grinned.
After what felt like a lifetime, the pickup riders were there, easing the horse and safely removing Jake from the scene. The horse was led away and Jake gave a jaunty bow, swiping his hat from the dirt where it had landed earlier and brushing it off on one leg.
He grinned at Letti and his mother, who stood at their seats and cheered.
Jake waited until the end of the rodeo, inappropriately pleased when Chad barely lasted four seconds on his bronc, let alone the three he managed on the bull. That was a bad day even for Chad.
When Jake found out he placed third, second and first in his three events,
he whooped as the others clapped him on the back and shouted for his victorious return. He didn't have the heart to tell them that this might be his last show. He could already feel the pain crawling up and down his back.
Collecting his prize, Jake saluted farewell to the others and made his way out to find Letti and Esther.
"There he is!" Letti maneuvered the wheel chair around so Esther could see him, too weak to walk on her own.
Jake shook his head at the two of them, but still couldn't muster up any irritation.
Taking Their Second Chance Page 4