Graffiti Heaven

by Marita A. Hansen

“Since for ages. He goes to uni.”

  “Oh, you’ve got a man. Ooooh, so that’s why you don’t want Joel.”

  “No, I wouldn’t touch Joel even if I didn’t have a boyfriend. He’s my stepbrother for goodness sake.”

  “He’s my stepbrother,” Jenna mimicked. “That means you’d jump him in a second if he wasn’t your stepbrother.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But, you’re still sending Miss Lap Dance the evils.”

  “Am not. Go away!”

  “I’m sooo right.” Jenna bounced on her feet like an Energizer Bunny. “Lavinia wants to be up a tree with Joel K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes sex, then comes marriage, then a Rastafarian baby in a carriage.”

  “You’re like a li’l kid.”

  Jenna turned towards Joel. “Hey, Joel! Lavinia’s jealous of your new girlfriend!”

  “I hate you!” Lavinia jumped up and stormed off towards the Science Lab.

  “The feeling’s mutual!” Jenna shouted back, then sat down next to Tiana. “Now she’s gone, let’s talk business.”

  “Business?”

  “Yeah, Ash. What’re we gonna do ‘bout him?”

  “Why should I help you? You’ve just humiliated my best friend.”

  Jenna scowled at her. “I don’t expect you to help me, I expect you to help Ash. Unlike you, I care enough ‘bout him to put our differences aside. And anyway, I thought we were mates now.”

  “I more than care for him, so don’t gimme that. And mates?” Tiana blew air out of her mouth, making a deriding sound.

  “So, what’re you gonna do to help?” Jenna said, not reacting.

  “If I knew that I’d be sitting with him and not you.”

  Yelling came from across the quad. Tiana looked over to see Ash running off with Kelley following. Joel was waving his arms about at Salma, calling her a bitch, while Salma yelled that he was a fag like Ash. Marko grabbed Joel as he lunged at Salma.

  Tiana jumped up and ran in the direction where Ash had gone. Jenna sprinted past her. They headed through the maths quad and out onto the sports field. Ash disappeared through a gate at the far end, with Kelley close behind. Holding her stomach, Tiana bent over. She wasn’t good at running, but never to the point that she wanted to puke.

  A string of swearwords shot from Jenna’s mouth. “Why the hell is Kelley following him?”

  “Dunno, but there’s no way I can catch them, I feel sick.”

  “Me neither, but I’m gonna mash Miss Lap Dance’s face for upsetting him.”

  Jenna ran in the direction they’d come from. Tiana followed, but slowly, her stomach threatening to expel her lunch. She really needed to get fitter. Even her netball coach had been complaining that she’d gotten slow out on the court. But then again, it was probably the flu’s fault, something that she couldn’t seem to shake.

  She eventually made it back to the English quad where Marko was still restraining Joel, while Ant had a firm grip on a furious Jenna.

  Salma pushed up off the ground and spat at Jenna, “Just cos you idiots can’t face up to your mate bein’ gay doesn’t mean ya hafta take it out on me.” With a hand over an eye, she stormed off.

  Jenna struggled to get free of Ant. “Lemme go!” Ant let go, then swore as Jenna shoved him.

  Tiana focused on Joel. “What happened?”

  Joel looked as livid as Jenna. “I found out Salma wuz the ho who’d tried to force herself onto Ash. Now she’s calling him a fag just cos he turned her down.”

  Frustrated, Tiana exhaled. “And just when he finally came back.”

  “I’m worried ‘bout him. What’re we gonna do?”

  Tiana looked in the direction that Ash had gone. “Maybe I can pester my brother to help. Apparently Ash has been phoning him.”

  “Why is Ash talking to your bro?”

  “Dunno; Levi refused to say.”

  Joel grabbed Tiana’s arm and steered her away from the group. “After school meet me in the car park.”

  Tiana pulled her arm free. “Why?”

  “Cos we’re gonna corner your bro and make him talk.”

  37

  Ash

  Ash slumped against the warehouse directly behind the school. The truck bay was empty, and there were no workers on site as far as he could see. On his left, sparks and the sound of welding came from the other side of the fence, along with ACDC belting out “Highway to Hell.”

  He knew he shouldn’t have stayed at school, had a feeling things were going to be bad, but he couldn’t face spending any more time by himself, his memories his only company while Hunter was working. His classes had been alright, a temporary distraction, apart from art where he couldn’t focus, his painting ending up in the bin. After he’d knocked over the pots of acrylics on purpose, making a mess on the floor, the art teacher had told him to go to the counsellor. Instead, he’d waited outside of the class for his mates, stewing until the lunch bell had rung. He’d wanted to play rugby, using it as an excuse to smash into people, but his mates had decided that annoying Kelley and her friends was more fun. And then Salma had done everything to make him snap. He’d managed to put up with her innuendos, but when she refused to stop harassing Joel he’d lost it.

  Kelley stopped in front of him, the girl barely out of breath. “You shouldn’t listen to that horrible girl; everyone knows you’re not gay.”

  “Go away,” he snapped, not caring if it was rude. He just wanted to be left alone, not reminded about what Salma had said.

  Kelley sat down in front of him, crossing her legs over each other. He could see her knickers and a large plaster on her thigh where her black pleated skirt rode up. He moved his gaze away and focused on a dark patch of oil discolouring the concrete.

  “I’m not leaving,” she said. “I’m the one who talked you into staying at school, so I’m partly to blame for you gettin’ upset. And that girl is obviously lying to get back at you for something.”

  “What would you know?”

  “Ant’s always trying to get back at me. He was pro’bly the one who suggested throwing those stupid paper planes.”

  He looked back up at her. “Yeah, it wuz him.”

  Kelley shook her head, her expression annoyed. “I wish he’d stop bein’ such a jerk. Today he called me a lesbo just cos I refused to go home with him.”

  “He’s just mouthing off, everyone knows you like guys.”

  She scratched her cheek. “I can never figure him out. He acts really sweet sometimes, then other times he’s mean.”

  Ash focused on the patch of oil again. “No one really knows a person. I thought my stepdad wuz nice until he...” He shook his head, not wanting to let anything slip. For a second he wondered what date Chaz’s trial was starting, the thought making him nauseous. Hunter had mentioned that it was probably going to be early October, only a couple of weeks away. They had said he didn’t need to be there, which didn’t make any difference, because he wouldn’t have gone regardless.

  “I still don’t think you’re gay,” Kelley said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten a boner when I did that thing to you in the pool.”

  Ash cringed. “You totally freaked me out doin’ that.”

  “Yeah, sorry, I just like you. I thought you might go with me if I did it.”

  “I wuz goin’ out with Jenna at the time.”

  “You still didn’t wanna go with me after you left her.”

  “Cos I didn’t like what you did. You don’t go biting guy’s dicks in pools.”

  “I didn’t bite it, and you were the only one I did it to.”

  “What is it ‘bout me that made you think you could do that?”

  Her mouth started moving to the side, like she was gnawing something. He’d seen her doing it while giving speeches.

  “Go on, tell me,” he said harshly. “I wanna know why people use me for their sick perversions.”

  “I’m sorry; I wouldn’t have done it if I knew it upset you.”

  He glared at h
er, not feeling guilty at all over her tears. “Well, regardless, I wouldn’t have asked you out, cos I don’t go with my mate’s exes.”

  “I only went with Ant cos I wanted to be near you.”

  “So, you used him too?”

  “No, I was still attracted to him, just not as much as you, but I couldn’t stay with him cos he didn’t really want me. He even told me that I was a substitute for someone else.”

  “Who?”

  “Someone I told him to ask out, but he refuses too. He thinks people will judge him. Anyway, he’s pro’bly stuffed things up now, cos he’s been really mean to them.”

  “Who is it?”

  “Can’t tell ya; it’ll shatter him.”

  Ash frowned.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Kelley said. “That I’m a slut.”

  “What?” Ash shook his head in confusion. She really did flit between subjects without warning. “I wuzn’t thinking that, I wuz tryna work out who Ant likes, cos he’s mean to loads of people.”

  “But, you still think I’m a slut. Well, I’m not. Just cos I came onto you a bit too strong doesn’t mean I open my legs to everyone.”

  “You don’t needa get all agro with me. One minute you’re apologising, the next you’re jumping down my throat. Are ya on drugs or sumpthin’?”

  “No! I’m just sick of people thinking I’ve had sex with every bloody guy in school. I’ve only been with three, and one of them I’m not sure ‘bout cos I got alcohol poisoning.”

  “What do ya mean?”

  “I woke up in hospital, not remembering a thing. The doctor said I drank too much and was lucky to be alive. The thing was; it didn’t feel right down you-know-where, cos I hadn’t been with a guy like that before.”

  “Wuz it Ant?” Ash said, because if it was he was going to do some serious damage to the bastard.

  “No, it was James Niles.”

  “The senior who left for that telly job?”

  She screwed up her face, like she was going to cry again. “Yeah, I really liked him. He was nice to me.”

  “Nice? He got you drunk and raped you.”

  “No, he didn’t! He wasn’t like that.”

  “Do ya know that for sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  He shook his head. “But you said you don’t remember, and who else could’ve done it?”

  “It doesn’t mean I didn’t say yes.”

  “It doesn’t matter, he took advantage of you when you were blotto; you should tell the police.”

  “No, I don’t wanna get him into trouble, and he’d drunk loads too, so he was pro’bly off his face as well.”

  “But—” Ash stopped, realising what he was doing. Unlike Kelley he did remember, and he hadn’t told the police what Chaz had done, only mentioned the bouncer. But he couldn’t tell them, he just couldn’t, and since Dante had given a statement he didn’t have to—another reason he couldn’t face his brother.

  Ash refocused on the oil stain. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For judging you.”

  “It’s not your fault, and I can understand why you thought I was a slut after the way I acted in the pool. And I wouldn’t have drunk so much with James and done all that crazy stuff with Ant if I was stable at the time. They just made me feel like someone loved me.” She smiled sadly. “Not something I’m used to.”

  “What about your family? They must love ya.”

  “I only have my mum now, and she avoids me like the plague. I think she blames me for my brother’s death, cos Liam was coming to pick me up at the time he died. Gang members doin’ an initiation blocked off a road to bash someone. Liam was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “How come no one at school has heard ‘bout it, cos everyone seems to know what happened to my family?”

  “Liam was a half-brother. He was twelve years older than me, an officer in the Navy. Even my friends hadn’t met him, cos he was always away on deployment. And since it happened the first week of Christmas break it didn’t affect school.” She breathed out. “Plus, I didn’t want anyone to know, even my friends, though Georgia found out, but I made her promise to keep it a secret. I blamed myself for quite a while, sometimes still do when I get down, but I know it wasn’t my fault, like your mum’s death wasn’t yours.”

  “What makes you think I blame myself?” Ash asked softly, taken aback by her story.

  “You don’t look people in the eyes. I used to do that too, cos I was afraid they could see what I was thinking.”

  He raised his gaze then dropped it again. Yeah, she was right. It had gotten worse since he’d let things slip with Levi. “It wuz my fault, my mum wuz tryna protect me.”

  “Your stepdad attacked you, not the other way round. It was his fault. It’s still gonna hurt like crazy, but you can at least stop blaming yourself.”

  Ash closed his eyes, tears threatening to escape. He was a baby, a fucking cry baby, and a used piece of shit. “I can’t, if he didn’t want me she would still be alive.”

  “Want you?”

  “I mean, he wanted to hurt me,” Ash rushed out. He felt her hand touch his tentatively. He took a hold of it, needing the comfort for once. It felt small, almost like a child’s. She was a slim girl, something that had looked odd next to Ant’s bulk.

  Ash opened his eyes and looked down at her hand, noticing she bit her nails like him. “I’ve only told one other person outside the family ‘bout what really happened. The guy said it wuzn’t my fault either. I know I should blame my stepfather, and I hate him for what he did, but it still comes down to my mum defending me. If I wuzn’t in the picture she would be alive. I wish he’d killed me instead of her.”

  She squeezed his hand. “If he wasn’t in the picture you and your mum would be happy. It all comes down to him, not you.”

  “S’pose so.”

  “Not s’pose so, it’s true. And if those gang members weren’t in the picture me and my family would be happy too, and I wouldn’t be hacking at my hair in a failed attempt to get my mum’s attention.” She smiled sadly. “You know, I haven’t spoken ‘bout Liam in ages. I couldn’t, cos no one could understand how I felt, but you … you’re different.”

  He nodded, still fighting back tears. “Sorry for bein’ mean to you.”

  “No worries, I deserved it. You want me to go home with you?” She blanched, like she’d said the wrong thing. “I’m not hitting on you; I just thought we could watch a movie to take your mind off things. I know we aren’t friends, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly. You can even watch stupid rugby if ya want. I know you like it cos I used to watch you and Ant play in your shorty shorts.” With a slight smile, she let go of his hand and stood. “Like you guys watch girls playing netball cos of their short skirts.”

  “Yeah, I used to do that with Tiana.”

  “See, a gay guy wouldn’t say that.” She held out a hand.

  “True.” He grabbed it and stood. “Thanks.”

  “No worries. We should go round the long way so no one sees us and gets the wrong idea.”

  He nodded, feeling strangely comfortable with someone for the first time since the attack.

  38

  Jenna

  Jenna sat down in the chair opposite the principal, while Miss Lap Dance took the one next to her. The principal appeared furious, something she’d never seen before. Oh, she’d attended his office many times, so she knew him better than the average student, but he usually was stern, not angry.

  “It really hurts,” Miss Lap Dance said, her voice a baby girl whisper.

  Jenna shot a glare at the senior. Talk about laying it on thick.

  The principal cleared his throat. He looked similar to Miss Lap Dance, his soft coffee complexion and facial features also of Samoan descent. “I’ve warned you, Jenna, that the next time you punched someone you would get suspended.”

  Jenna’s words tumbled out, “But she really upset my friend, calling him a fag cos he
turned her down. He’d only just returned to school today after his mother was murdered and he was attacked.”

  Miss Lap Dance’s head snapped around so fast that Jenna was sure the girl must have gotten whiplash. It almost made her smile, because the principal was now training his Terminator glare on the senior.

  “You did this to Ashley Rata?” the principal asked Miss Lap Dance.

  The girl shrunk into her chair. “I didn’t know who he was; he isn’t in my year.”

  Jenna wasn’t going to leave it at that, she was going to bury the bitch. “Joel Harper said that she also tried to force herself onto Ash at a party two weeks back, came onto him so strong that he got upset and took off. She’s the bully, not me.” She bit back a smile as the principal leaned forward in his seat, his normally soft features now rigid as he craned his head over the desk.

  “Salma, do you have any idea what that poor boy has gone through?” Instead of waiting for an answer he barrelled ahead, scolding Salma so hard that Jenna was sure the girl was going to burst into tears at any moment.

  “I didn’t know,” Salma said.

  The principal frowned, making it look like he had one long eyebrow. “Regardless, Salma, I’m surprised at you and highly disappointed. How could you do something like this? Your parents didn’t bring you up to mistreat people so badly.”

  Salma shook her head. “Uncle, it’s all been a misunderstanding.”

  Uncle? Jenna looked back at the principal. Bloody hell, he had to be related to the cow. But still, his annoyance was no longer aimed at her, so maybe she’d deflected a suspension.

  The principal shook his head. “Not knowing who the boy was doesn’t change what you did to him. I’m surprised he returned so soon, but nonetheless it was a step in the right direction, something that you may now have ruined.”

  Salma started crying. “I’m sorry, but he upset me, said nasty things to me.”

  “That’s a lie!” Jenna snapped. “There are others that saw and heard what happened.”

  “Yes, and I will be speaking to them too,” the principal said, not taking his eyes of his niece. “You can return to class now, Salma, but I will be seeing you tomorrow when your parents return home.”