The girl seemed to pep up a little in her seat, her smile widening when she gushed, “Knox Riley, right?”
“That’d be me,” I answered with a polite smile of my own, hoping it didn’t insinuate anything more.
The last thing I wanted her to think was that I was open to flirting with her. And that’s how I really knew Amerie had turned me out. Something I wouldn’t have even cared to consider before was now the first thing on my mind whenever I came in contact with any woman, no matter how normal or casual the environment was. And I worried I’d be having to set the record straight when the girl leaned into her desk and insisted that I do the same.
But I didn’t, instead staying in my original spot as I told her, “Look. I’m just here to meet with Amerie. That’s it.”
To my surprise, the girl’s face scrunched with confusion when she nodded and said, “I know. Miranda told me you were coming to surprise her which was why I was trying to keep our voices down.”
“So she really has no idea I’m comin’?” I asked, my nerves doubling in size as I considered how Amerie might react to me just popping up on her. Then again, she probably would’ve avoided the office - avoided me - on purpose if she knew I was coming the same way she had done before.
As if on cue, Amerie came out of her office, her head down as she typed away on her phone and asked, “Draya, do you know what happened to my… Knox?”
My grin turned crooked as I checked her out, appreciating her dressed down look of distressed jeans, a white v-neck, and a pair of sandal heels. Her hair was perfectly styled as if she had just gone to the shop that morning. And her little pop of color had changed to midnight blue.
She looked good as hell.
“Hey Ri. You uh… got a minute?” I asked, shoving my hands into the pockets of my khakis that I had worn just for her.
I could tell she appreciated my look as much as I appreciated hers, but she still brushed me off to answer, “Not really. I have a 10 o’clock appointment.”
I smirked, shaking my head as Draya interjected, “He is your 10 o’clock appointment. Surprise!”
Amerie’s eyes went wide then tightened into a scowl as she directed a death stare at the both of us before turning to go back to her office. And while the attitude didn’t surprise me at all, - in fact, I had pretty much prepared for it with the warning for Miranda - I could tell Draya was shook as she stammered, “Uh… well…. not the reaction I was expecting. But I... suppose you can still head on in.”
I tapped the desk on my way past it, offering another smile as a “Thank you” before I stepped into Amerie’s office to find her already back at her desk, already back immersed in her work, and quite obviously trying to avoid giving me her undivided attention.
So I didn’t press it, instead making myself comfortable in the chair opposite of hers before asking, “How you feelin’ now that the show is over with? Wasn’t so bad, huh?”
“No. It wasn’t,” she replied shortly, keeping her eyes trained on her computer screen as she typed away at whatever she was working on.
Still, my determination didn’t waver as I admitted, “It looks so basic back at the house now without all of your shit in it.”
After Miranda had gotten the last of Amerie’s things packed up and onto the moving truck, she asked that I do a walkthrough to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything important. And while I wasn’t sure how important she found the batteries in the nightstand to be, I couldn’t help but hold onto the panties she had left right next to them just in case this little meeting didn’t go so well.
But really, it wasn’t even about Amerie’s material things. The house felt basic without her energy, without her spirit. It felt basic without her laughs echoing off the high ceilings and the bass of her music bumping through the walls of the studio late into the night. It felt basic without the scent of her perfume lingering upstairs and the smell of her microwaved takeout lingering in the kitchen.
It felt basic without her.
I felt basic without her.
“Basic as in nice and tidy?” Amerie finally countered, pressing a dramatic enter on the keyboard with her pointer finger before turning her attention to me.
And I took full advantage of having her eyes when I explained, “Basic as in… plain. Cold. Empty. You brought life to it. And now it’s gone.”
I was hoping she caught on to the deeper meaning behind my words; hoping she recognized that the house was really only a metaphor for me, for my heart. And it seemed as if she did, her expression softening when she replied, “Well, maybe you’ll have to move somebody else in there. Get the life back.”
“But what if I don’t want anybody else? What if I want… you?”
She sighed, pushing her chair back from the desk and standing up before joining me on the other side for what I expected to be a reuniting. But instead of landing in my lap, she only leaned against her desk, crossing her arms as she scolded, “I thought we were in this together, but you ran Knox. You went off on me and you ran without even giving me a chance to explain myself. What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to feel?”
I shook my head, dropping it into my hands as I replied, “I know, I know. And that wasn’t smart. I’m a fool who still doesn’t know how to deal with his fuckin’ feelings. So instead of handlin’ my shit like a grown man, I spazz, and I run, and I expect people to just figure shit out on their own. But I’m workin’ on it. I know I’m not perfect, and I’m sorry, and…”
Her hand against my shoulder prompted me to stop rambling before she moved it away, using it to slowly lift my head from my hands. “Hey. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, right? I mean, I couldn’t hold water and you couldn’t… hold your emotions about it. There’s still a now what left to uncover.”
My eyebrow piqued as I repeated, “A now what? You mean, you’re really not mad at me?”
She moved her hand from my chin to my cheek, brushing it against my skin when she asked, “Mad at you for being mad at me? That’s a little twisted don’t you think?”
“From you? Not in the slightest,” I said with a little chuckle, making her smile and making me hopeful.
And she held that smile, continuing to graze my cheek with her thumb as she admitted, “I know I may not have been the most… understanding, maybe even a little insensitive, when it came to the whole therapy thing. But I really am glad you’re getting the help you need, even if I don’t understand how any of that shit works.”
“Here. Let me show you,” I insisted, pulling my phone from my pocket before patting my lap for her to sit down. And I was grateful that she actually went with it, allowing me to drape an arm around her waist so that I could hold the phone in front of her as I worked to pull up the footage Shep had sent me just a day earlier.
“This is for the show?” she asked the second it came up on the screen, surely recognizing the watermark that ensured the footage would be somewhat protected.
And as I gave her the phone to hold, I answered, “It won’t air until closer towards the end of the season.”
She turned in my lap so that she could see my face when she asked, “How’d you get the final cut before me?”
“I told them not to show you. Wanted to do it on my own terms,” I told her with a smirk.
One that made her head cock to the side as she challenged, “Do I detect a little shade, Knox Riley?”
I chuckled, brushing a thumb against her chin as I replied, “I could never shade you, sunshine.”
She rolled her eyes, though there was no missing the blush in her cheeks as she positioned the phone in front of her and pressed play. Then she watched in complete silence as my counseling session with Kim unfolded.
As usual, Kim was sitting in her leather chair with her notepad in her lap as I sat in the loveseat next to it, trying my best to ignore the camera crew. But I knew how important it was for the public to see me in this space. And not only see me in this space, but recognize that it wasn’t as in
timidating as people made it out to be, even though I didn’t plan to let things go to personal for the sake of my privacy.
Still, I acted as if it was a normal session when Kim started, “So, Knox. I know in the past we’ve talked at length about your childhood, the unfortunate situation between your parents and how that played a role more significant than you originally believed in terms of how you’ve dealt with different connections in your life up until this point. So now that you’ve had time to sit with this new level of understanding, do you feel as if anything has changed for you?
“Honestly, I’m not... afraid anymore. Before, I was afraid to love, afraid of connecting, afraid of ending up like them one way or another. But that’s all changed. Now I feel… free. Like I can love and be loved. And even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Of course, I want it to work out. But I understand the possibilities of it not. And I’m okay with that.”
“When you speak of wanting it to work out, are you referring to the woman you’ve been trying to reconnect with?”
“Yeah. I mean, she knew me before I started seeing you, before I reached this level of clarity. And even though I’m still workin’ out the kinks, she has already recognized and shown appreciation for my growth. So I guess that makes me feel good.”
“You guess?”
“I mean, it does. It makes me feel real good. I just hope that I’m doing enough for her to take me seriously.”
“Because you really want it to work out?”
“Exactly.”
“But like you said earlier, you understand the possibilities of it not. So instead of spending time worrying about if it’s enough, I suggest you consider investing that time in simply enjoying what’s happening between the two of you. Take in her appreciation for your growth and use it as fuel to keep going; to keep making strides towards a better you.”
“Is it really that simple, Kim?”
“It’s as simple as you make it, Knox.”
“I suppose that’s why I pay you right. To simplify my life for me?”
“What you take from this is ultimately up to you. I’m just here to listen and help you figure out what works best for you.”
The screen cut to the next scene. Though it didn’t play for long as Amerie almost immediately pressed the button to pause it before turning to me with glossed over eyes and asking, “You were talking about me?”
I smacked my teeth. “Who else would I be talkin’ about, babe? Of course I was talkin’ about you,” I told her, tightening the arm I had draped around her waist to pull her in closer.
She sank into my hold, resting her head against my shoulder as she said, “I’m proud of you, Knox.”
“For what?”
She adjusted in my hold, placing a hand against my chest as she answered, “For being brave enough to do this. For opening up like this to the world. It couldn’t have been as easy as you made it look.”
I shrugged, thinking back on it and quickly coming to the conclusion that compared to finding myself and then finding her again, talking on camera had really been a piece of cake. So as I landed a quick kiss to her forehead, I took a page from her book when I asked, “Can’t let ‘em see you sweat, right?” Making her giggle as I continued, “I’m good now though, Ri. I’m here, and I’m good, and I’m not goin’ anywhere anytime soon unless you really, really want me to.”
“You know I don’t,” she replied with a smile before meeting my lips with a kiss.
Then a second.
Then a third that included enough tongue for me to ask, “Is this part of the now what package you were talkin’ about earlier?”
“Knox, I have work to do,” she said as she made an attempt at crawling out of my lap as if she wasn’t the one who had started it in the first place.
And since she had been the shit-starter, I had no problem pulling her back down when I insisted, “So do I. Work that consists of making up for lost time. I’ve missed you like crazy, woman.”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I missed you too?” she asked as she adjusted so that instead of just sitting on my lap, she was now straddling it.
The new position along with the heat coming through the seat of her jeans gave me enough leverage to answer, “I mean… I don’t know. Might have to show me, babe.”
But as she leaned in for another kiss ready to do just that, the phone in her pocket vibrated between us. Her face hovered in front of mine as she grunted with annoyance before she pulled it out and took a peek at the screen. And since it was right in my face, I couldn’t help but do the same.
“Damn, Ri. A nigga goes ghost for a week and you already got new niggas hittin’ your line?” I asked teasingly, knowing whoever ol’ boy was who had texted her was hardly competition.
And Amerie only made that fact even more solid when she tossed her phone to the side and groaned, “Ugh, that’s just one of Miranda’s little friends. I don’t even know why she gave him my number.”
I tightened my grip on her denim-covered ass cheeks, reminding her without words that it was all mine as I told her, “Yo, your sister likes to play both sides. You know she’s the one who hooked me up with this meeting.”
While it didn’t surprise me that Miranda was trying to hook her sister up with someone else when I wasn’t around, I also made a note in the back of my mind to watch her sneaky ass as I listened to Amerie reply, “Well I’ll be sure to send her a thank you card,” bringing my full attention back to the real situation at hand when she wrapped her arms around my neck and added, “Now let me show you how much I missed you, Mr. Riley.”
The kiss she gave me reminded me of all the reasons I had fallen in love with her in the first place. It was as sweet as her, as gentle as she could be, while also still holding a powerful force. The same powerful force she’d tap into whenever she’d wreak havoc on a dance floor.
Because that’s what had really drawn me to Amerie.
Her ability to captivate an audience - captivate me - so effortlessly with her dancing. Her ability to steal the show with what I knew were years of technical training, though she still managed to make it her own. Her ability to capitalize on every opportunity she was given by always giving one-hundred percent.
Was it fate when she showed up for that audition?
I would never know.
But for now, I was solely focused on making good on my second chance at loving her the best way I knew how.
Epilogue.
Choreographer Lane Premiere Party.
Amerie
The lights were hot and bright, but my smile remained intact as Knox and I walked the red carpet at the premiere party for Choreographer Lane. We had spent the past few weeks together doing promotion for the show; going on various daytime talk shows, doing spreads and interviews for different magazines, even going to talk on some of the more popular radio shows. And though the whole experience probably should’ve been exhausting, I felt better than ever since any downtime we had was spent making up for every second of lost time and then some.
While we spent plenty of it in the bedroom - and pretty much any secluded space with enough room the both of us could fit - some of the best times had actually been spent outside of the bedroom as we learned more and more about each other. I had even been able to sit in on a few of his FaceTime therapy sessions, taking Kim’s number for myself just in case I ever needed it.
And maybe one day I’d get there.
But for now, my focus was on the microphone in front of me as I tried to remember the generic answer we had been trained to give whenever someone asked for spoilers about the show.
I gave my friendliest smile as I told the reporter, “The viewers will just have to wait and see for themselves. I think the wait will be worth it. Don’t you think, Knox?”
“Absolutely,” he agreed with a smirk, his eyes trained on my cleavage as if no one would notice.
But I noticed.
And my nipples noticed; standing at full attention
under his gaze as if it was their moment to shine.
Thankfully the reporter was able to distract Knox, taking the spotlight away from them when she asked, “What was your favorite part about working with Amerie?”
This time, it was me smirking as I turned his way, watching closely as he gave the answer to a question we surprisingly hadn’t gotten before. And I couldn’t help but blush as I listened to him reply, “Everything Amerie does, whether she’s performing on the biggest stage, or teaching a small group, or even just freestyling in the studio by her damn self, you can’t help but to respect her commitment to the craft. It’s admirable. She’s really impressive.”
The reporter snatched the microphone back as she gushed, “It sounds to me like the two of you have established quite the relationship.”
Again, I smirked, shaking my head since this was a question we had gotten a few times over. And considering we both had our rehearsed ass answers that gave nothing away, I decided to let Knox give his usual spill. “See, what people don’t know is that Amerie and I have ran in the same circle for quite some time now. We’ve always had love and respect for each other’s artistry. The only difference now is, it’s all on TV.”
“Will dances between the two of you be the only thing unfolding on TV? Or is there more to the story?” The reporter asked before sticking the microphone back into Knox’s face.
And with his charm on full tilt, he shrugged as he answered, “You know, that’s a good question. I guess you’ll have to tune in.” Offering her a little thank you before escorting me towards the next set of cameras.
His hand was at the small of my back as he asked through smiling teeth, “How’d I do?”
“You did great. Nice cover,” I replied, taking a moment to adjust my bang before resuming my pose.
“I’m still tearin’ that ass up tonight,” he whispered near my ear, making me laugh and surely creating the cutest photo op.
But I didn’t mind the speculation, especially considering, “If you didn’t, I’d have to disown you.”
An Encore for Love Page 20