by Susan Rohrer
Merry tipped her head a little. “Well, thanks, Hayden. That was a very nice thing to say.”
“Yeah, well you... She...” Tears sprang to Hayden’s eyes.
Immediately, Merry’s heart went out to her. She put a hand on her arm. “Oh, Hayden. I’m sorry.”
Hayden quickly shook Merry’s hand off. “Forget it, all right?”
“You know it’s okay to—”
“No, it’s not okay,” Hayden broke in, her emotions clearly rising. “I hate this. All of it! All it does is remind me what I can’t ever have again. You know what I want for Christmas? I want my mom back. Can you get me that?”
Merry held Hayden’s demanding gaze. “Sweetie, I wish I could.”
Hayden jerked away. “And don’t call me that!” she cried. “That’s what she called me. Nobody calls me that.”
“Maybe they should,” Merry persisted. “Maybe she’d want them to. Like she’d want to know you found a way, well, not to forget her, but to enjoy the life she gave you.”
Hayden wiped her face. It was a long while before she finally spoke. “I don’t know how to do that.”
Tears brimmed in Merry’s eyes as she searched Hayden’s. “I just know, every day you had with your mom—every time you get another day with your dad, your sister, Ollie, your grandmom—it’s a incredible gift. I don’t know much, Hayden. But I know that.”
Hayden sat silently, irony playing on her face. “Funny that you’d mention gifts. I know exactly what to give Tara for Christmas. It’s just really hard to give it. I don’t know if I can.”
Merry nodded thoughtfully. “You know, I always thought that the gifts that are hardest to give, well...they can be the best gifts of all.”
Christmas music wafted from an old-fashioned turntable, filling the Bell’s garage. Familiar tunes from a by-gone era scratched out, sung by crooners of long ago holidays, the kind that set a person swaying, no matter the task they accompanied.
Ollie helped Merry stow attic overflow in the unoccupied half of the garage. Ollie was a good helper, Merry observed. He’d taken to her from the start, something she dearly appreciated. He needed a mother as much as Hayden did, she realized. He just showed it in different ways.
Ollie’s face lit up as the garage door began to open and Daniel’s headlights shone into the garage. “Daddy’s home!” Ollie exuded. Ollie ran to greet his dad as the car idled outside.
Merry hustled to move a few items aside. “Just a sec. I’ll get this out of your way. Sorry. I had thought you’d park out front.”
Daniel pulled into his parking space in the garage. “Well, the forecast says we might get some snow, so... What’s all this?” he wondered, turning his car off.
Merry glanced around. “Attic overflow.”
“Don’t tell Hayden,” Ollie added urgently.
“Right,” Daniel agreed. “Hey, Buddy, why don’t you go wash up for dinner. I’ll get this.”
Obediently, Ollie ran toward the townhouse. Daniel began to help Merry stow things they haven’t used in years—a cradle, the twins’ double stroller, Ollie’s tricycle.
“That was my dad’s old turntable over there,” Daniel recalled. “Obsolete now, I guess. Amazing that it still works. Looks like we’re way overdue for a purge.”
Merry looked around, imagining the long ago time when these things had been in regular use. “Everything here has a place in your family story, I’m sure.”
Daniel nodded nostalgically. “Really does. Christmas used to be a big day around here.”
“I can tell,” Merry said. “It can be again, you know.”
Daniel hoisted a box. “Sure hope so.”
Merry helped Daniel to slide the container in place. “Yeah. Me, too,” she replied. Suddenly, an idea struck. “You know what?” she said. “Close your eyes. Go on, close them.”
Going along with it, Daniel closed his eyes. Merry quickly plugged in an electrical cord, then lightly took Daniel by the hand and led him out of the garage. She loved the way he trusted her as she guided him all the way into the back yard, his eyes still shut tight. Classic Christmas music from the open garage wafted across the night air.
“Not yet. No peeking,” Merry reminded.
As they passed the kitchen window, Merry noticed Ollie and Tara, watching from inside. Merry put a finger to her lips, signaling them about the secret she was preparing to unfold. Tara broke into a victorious grin. Ollie playfully poked her.
Reaching the patio, Merry led Daniel to a stopping place.
“Now?” Daniel asked.
Merry released his hand. “Now.”
Daniel opened his eyes. The yard was aglow with twinkle lights. Strings of lights hung on fence rails, shrubs and trees, shimmering all around them. Daniel took it all in, then looked back at Merry, completely amazed.
Merry smiled softly. “Starting to feel like Christmas, now, isn’t it?”
Daniel nodded. “It is.”
“Sure you don’t want to take me up on that dancing lesson?” Merry offered.
Daniel paused. “I confess...I’m still back and forth about what to do for Catherine. I’m not sure if the Ball is really the right thing.”
Merry weighed her options. It wasn’t she wanted Daniel to opt to take Catherine to the Charity Ball, but something in her had to know for sure. “You know, if you got more comfy with the dancing part, you could set that aside,” Merry suggested. “Might help you to see the rest of the decision more clearly.”
Merry offered her right hand to Daniel. Warily, he took it. “Then you pull your partner close, so you can feel how she’s moving,” Merry instructed.
As Daniel drew Merry next to him, the warmth of his nearness went all through her.
“I’m afraid you’ll need to lead,” he confessed.
“That’s okay,” Merry answered. “Just take it when you’re ready. I’ll sense it.”
Thousands of lights illuminated as Merry and Daniel began to waltz around the patio. They were tentative at first, but before long they had lost themselves in the moment.
♥ ♥ ♥
Hours after Merry had left for the diner, Daniel sat at his desk, half paying the bills and half deep in thought. The decision about what to get Catherine for Christmas weighed heavily on his mind. She was a woman who already had everything, he thought, everything that money could buy.
In the five months since he’d met Catherine, she hadn’t once asked him for anything beyond the pleasure of his company. There’d been no occasion for gifts yet, no birthdays to pass, nor any material need. What he’d found they had in common was a deeper longing, a desire for companionship.
It wasn’t that attraction hadn’t played a role, but there was a genuine quality beneath Catherine’s refined beauty, something of substance that had captured his attention. Perhaps it had been their intersecting career paths that had drawn them together; perhaps it was her sparkling intellect. But whatever it was, it had made him believe he could love again. For years, he had thought of no other woman than the wife he’d lost. Yet, from the moment Catherine had come into his life, something had been reawakened.
The ringing phone brought Daniel out of his reverie. He could see from his Caller ID that it was Catherine. Daniel picked up. “I was just thinking of you.”
“Really?” Catherine replied. “Because I was just talking about you. With Daddy. I’m afraid the cat’s out of the bag.”
“And which cat would that be?”
Catherine paused coyly. “Let’s just say, he approves. Highly.”
Daniel listened with interest. “Oh?”
“He said...so many things,” Catherine went on. “How he trusts you, that you’re a man of your word—and what else—ah, yes, that a man of your particular ‘intentions’ toward me would be most welcome to, let’s say, advance within the Strong family. Banking and otherwise.”
Though, as usual, the meaning of Catherine’s words wasn’t conclusive on the surface, her subtext rang through loud and clear to
Daniel. Indeed, he was a man of his word. He had expressed his sincere intentions to Catherine. She had voiced his stated interest to her father, his boss, and the idea had met with the soon-retiring bank president’s resounding endorsement.
Though they chatted on about the minutia of the day, Daniel rocked back in his chair, reflecting on the big picture of their lives. Every romance comes to a crossroads, he realized, a pivotal point of decision. As he listened to the happiness in Catherine’s voice, he knew that—one way or another—the time had come.
♥ ♥ ♥
At the Downtown Diner, Merry counted tips as Kiki closed out the register. It had been a good night.
“And how long did this dancing lesson go on?” Kiki inquired.
“Two, three minutes,” Merry smiled. “Even though it still doesn’t seem like he wants to take Catherine to that Ball. Afterward, he said he might go another way with her gift.”
Kiki closed the cash drawer. “So, next, float something more businessy for her. See it he latches onto that. Any more love notes yet?”
“Just the one I’m working on,” Merry glowed. “I’ll leave it in the drawer tomorrow night.”
Just then, Merry’s cell phone rang. To her delight, a look at the screen confirmed that it was Daniel. Purposefully, she walked away from Arthur’s earshot to answer. “Hey, Daniel...all right...Uh-huh...Yeah. I got it...Sure. See you there.” With that, Merry hung up. She returned wordlessly and started to wipe the counter, covering her excitement as much as she could.
“Oh, no,” Kiki insisted. “No, no. What did he say?”
Merry played it down. “No biggie.”
Kiki put on her sassy-pants voice. “Then why your eyes popping half out your head?”
Merry glanced to the kitchen to see if Arthur was listening. He was. Caught, Arthur resumed cleaning the grill.
Under her breath, Merry whispered to Kiki. “He just... The things he says... This could be going somewhere.”
Kiki reared back, thrilled. “You have got it bad.”
“I’m supposed to meet him downtown at noon tomorrow,” Merry enthused. “He wants to take me shopping.”
Kiki mouth dropped open. “He. Mr. Ritzy Bank man, taking you shopping? That’s what he’s paying you to do!”
Merry leaned in. “Which is why I think it has nothing to do with the job and everything to do with what he said is happening between us.”
“Where’s he taking you?” Kiki probed.
“I dunno,” Merry replied. “He just said it’d be our secret till Christmas.”
Long after her normal bedtime, Merry sat, curled up on her bed, writing a draft of a note. Rudy purred lazily at her side.
“Okay, how does this sound, Rudy?” Merry held the paper up and read aloud: “Dearest Daniel...” She stopped, hesitant about her choice. “Should I say dearest? He did. Maybe I... Ah, I know...” Merry scribbled in a change, then resumed the recitation:
My dear Daniel,
I can hardly even write those words or wrap my head around the idea that this could possibly be. But it is, and you are, all part of the wonder that is this Christmas. You’ve been so brave to take the lead, to say so much more than I’ve been able to, but now I want you to see my answer plainly—right here, in my hand. My heart is yours, Daniel.
Merry stroked Rudy’s back. “That’s it, boy, isn’t it?” Her eyes shining with hope, she reached for a small shopping bag and pulled out a tiny, wind-up kangaroo. “Look what I found. It’s a hopper. Like me,” she explained to Rudy. “I’m saving this for his Christmas.” Merry set the toy aside and gazed contentedly at her note to Daniel. “This, he’ll get tomorrow.”
nine
Excited at the prospect of shopping with Daniel, Merry had arrived early. As she sat waiting on a bench, she looked around at the uptown retail district. There were ritzy boutiques, high-end eateries, and posh gift shops that the well-to-do frequented. It was so far out of Merry’s economic stratum that she’d never even window-shopped there before. She’d always been far more of a discount store type, but this was the place where Daniel had invited her to meet him, just a few blocks from Strong Bank & Trust.
Mid-day traffic rumbled by as Merry read over her card to Daniel, confirming to herself that she’d said everything she wanted so much to say to him. She reminded herself that, since he had sent her two notes, the ball was in her court to reply.
Suddenly, Daniel rounded the corner on foot. Merry quickly stowed her note for later, gathered her bags, and rose to greet him.
“There you are,” Daniel called out. “Sorry I’m a little late, but—”
“No, it’s fine,” Merry insisted, showing him one of her parcels. “I just picked up a few doodads at the market along the way.”
Daniel beamed at Merry. It seemed to her that he was every bit as energized about the excursion as she was.
“So, here we are,” he acknowledged.
Merry nodded. “Yes. Here we are.”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a bit nervous about this,” Daniel started. “I guess we haven’t known each other that long. I mean, it feels like we practically just met, but we’re not kids anymore and... Well, sometimes you just have to go for it.”
Merry took Daniel’s words to heart. It was true that they hadn’t known each other very long, but something undeniable was growing between them. She leaned toward him reassuringly. “You do have to go for it sometimes, and—don’t you think surprises, coming right out of the blue—isn’t that the best part of Christmas?”
“It is,” Daniel agreed. “But in this case, at least everyone else will be surprised and...I just thought it would be better if you were with me. If you could tell me what you like...that would really help take the worries out of choosing.” Daniel gestured toward the corner.
As Merry turned, he briefly guided her with a genteel hand on her back. It had just been a momentary brush, but the memory of his touch lingered. Even through her woolen coat, it had warmed her through and through.
As Daniel’s destination became clear, Merry’s heart skipped a beat. This was to be no casual gift, she realized. Daniel planned to shop with her for jewelry.
Everything inside the opulent jewelry store glimmered. Precious gemstones set in gold and platinum rested on velvet inside gleaming glass cases. Fine silver services were polished to perfection. Merry looked around, overwhelmed as Daniel approached a dark-suited salesperson. Clearly, only the wealthy frequented this place.
“That one. There—first from the left on the second row,” Daniel directed.
The salesperson bowed his head respectfully as he unlocked the case. “Excellent, Sir. Just a moment.”
Daniel motioned Merry over as the salesperson pulled out an exquisite ring and handed it to Daniel. A princess cut diamond flanked by radiant sapphires shone in an elegant platinum setting. “I saw this yesterday afternoon,” Daniel said, “And I just had to be sure.”
Merry watched, stunned as Daniel held the ring up toward the plate glass window. Prisms of light danced on the many facets of the diamond. Merry swallowed hard. Had it been a bracelet or earrings, she might have reacted differently, but clearly, this was an engagement ring.
Despite everything that seemed to have been happening between them, and as much as Merry wished she could believe otherwise, something told her that she must have completely misunderstood. It was far too much, and far too soon. Merry’s heart sank as she realized the crushing truth:
This gift was for Catherine.
With everything in her, Merry fought the tears that threatened. The last thing she wanted Daniel to see was how distraught she was, or how mortified she felt at having read more into his notes than he seemed to have intended.
“Well... What do you think? Will she like it?” Daniel asked. He handed the ring to Merry for a closer look.
Merry gazed at the ring, doing her best to form a response, to find some honest way to be happy for him. She couldn’t say how broken-hearted she was. She
couldn’t speak to his now-obvious interest in Catherine. She could only focus her answer on the ring itself. “Daniel, it’s...it’s completely stunning. She’ll love it,” Merry said. “It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.”
“Would you mind trying it on for her?” Daniel inquired.
Reflexively, Merry handed the ring back to Daniel. “No... No, I couldn’t. “
“Sure. That’s why I called you,” Daniel protested. “I’m dying to see how it would look.”
Before she could stop him, Daniel took her left hand in his. He slid the ring onto Merry’s finger. It was almost more than she could bear. Merry gazed at the ring on her hand, both dazzled and devastated. “We’ll probably have to get it sized,” she noted.
“It fits you amazingly,” Daniel observed. “I wonder how close you are to Catherine’s size.”
Through her pain, Merry willed a bittersweet smile. “I don’t know,” she said. “My hand versus Catherine’s—it probably doesn’t compare.”
Merry approached Joan’s pottery shop on foot, barely holding it together. She had no idea who else to turn to at that moment, no one who would understand like Daniel’s mother.
As she opened the door, she saw Joan, gliding through a class of senior women as they beat the air bubbles out of balls of clay, slamming them against a canvas-covered table. Merry’s eyes brimmed at just the sight of Joan. “Could I come in?”
Joan turned from her pottery students. “Sure, we were....” Joan immediately read the distress on Merry’s face. “Merry, what’s wrong?”
The quiver on Merry’s lips quickly gave way to open sobs. Joan rushed to her side. “Baby, what is it?”
“He’s buying the china!” Merry blurted, tears coursing down her cheeks.
Joan embraced Merry, patting her back as she wept. The women in Joan’s class couldn’t help but notice, so Joan attempted an explanation.
“She’s a purist.”