I need to leave the house before I break - it’s the last thing the kids need to see - the one constant in their life falling apart. And honest to God, I can’t trust myself right now. A single look at Sofie has me spun up in ways that will only get me in trouble. She’s the nanny for Christ’s sake, and right now I need her to help take care of the children. Not stand there looking at her, dreaming of pulling her bare skin against mine, kissing those full lips and running my hands over her slender body.
It’s not the fucking time.
My business is in trouble and I need to focus on that - keeping us financially afloat matters more than what my cock thinks.
“Sorry, Onkel Erik,” Finn says sheepishly. “We were just having fun.”
“I didn’t mean to hit her,” Lars says, blinking up at me.
I sigh. “Look, I’ll be gone until after supper, so just, help her out. She’s come here to take care of you—”
“But I don’t want to help her,” Lars says, his voice a whisper.
“And why’s that?”
“She’s not my mamma.”
“Of course she’s not,” I say, trying my best to be gentle. But I’ve never been that sort of man. Soft. Easy. I’m callous and brash. A bachelor who spends his days on the ocean - not in a cozy cottage soothing children. Not in the kitchen making soup or the garden planting vegetables. I’m a hunter, not a gatherer - and right now I can see so clearly that I’m not what the children need.
God, I hope Sofie is. Because if she isn’t, then I’m jævla skrudd. Fucking screwed.
The house is a lot to manage - and not just the property. A household with three children requires food to be prepared into meals. Three times a day. It means dentist appointments and doctor visits and clothing that is washed, folded, and put away. Bedtimes with books and hair brushed and braided. And when I start thinking about all the things that weigh on me - I start to panic.
And that's just never been my mode of operation. My life has always been so good because it’s simple. And I like simplicity. Basics. Not boring, but not exactly a thrill ride. Who would ride a roller coaster when you can take out a boat and fish the day away?
I give my nephews a long look before jumping in my truck. My key is in the ignition, but I don’t pull out of the driveway until they are in the house. Sofie is pushing open the curtains on the windows as I start the engine, and I can’t help but groan as I watch her move. She’s beautiful, like a sea nymph, eyes as blue as the ocean, hair long, wavy, and tangled from the wind. She looks like she’s just blown in and I tense at the thought of her leaving just as quickly as she arrived. Right now, Sofie is my only hope.
When I get to my small office down at the docks, Filip is in a panic. “Thank god you’re here,” he says, passing me a packet of papers.
“What’s all this?”
“Bills.”
“For fuck’s sake, now’s not the time. I have to fix the engine, not deal with this.”
“They need your signature, though. And I don’t know the accounts. Can we even pay these bills?”
I groan, flipping through them. “Can we hold off on these a few more days? Let me get the engine squared away, then I can focus.”
“I’ll call around, ask for more time. I just know Daniel was trying to get a business loan which makes me think maybe things weren’t in a great spot before—”
I cut Filip off. “Daniel is gone. It’s on me now.”
Filip nods. “I know it’s a lot, Erik, but maybe we can hire someone.”
I shake my head, pushing the bills toward him. “I can do this. I can handle it.”
Filip nods, dropping the conversation. I leave him in the office and head outside toward the boat with the problematic engine. It takes me a few moments to realize I can fix this easily. As I reach for my toolbox, though, I can’t ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Sorting out an engine is one thing, but filling my sister and my brother-in-law’s shoes? Running the business end of the fishing fleet? That’s another thing entirely.
I’ve spent my life on the water, breathing in the salty ocean air as I reel in fish. That I can handle. It’s routine, it’s predictable, it’s what I know.
This life that has been thrust upon me? I take a deep breath and pull out a wrench. Never has my life felt so utterly unruly.
Chapter Four
Sofie
Erik isn’t married. And he isn’t a widower.
He’s an uncle.
And he’s totally MIA.
I look at the clock. He’s been gone for two hours. In that time I manage to get the boys into baths and find Astrid right where Erik said she’d be - in her closet.
She gave me a small hello in a barely audible voice, but I couldn’t coax her out of her hiding place, so, for now, I leave her burrowed under blankets with a book and a flashlight.
After their baths, I show Finn how to unload the washing machine. I look for a dryer, only for Lars to tell me his mamma hangs it out to dry.
Right. So we go outside to pin wet pants and shirts to a clothesline. I knew coming to Norway would be a culture shock, but I didn’t realize people still hung out washing to dry.
That is just the beginning of my surprises. As I begin cleaning the disaster zone of a house from top to bottom, I quickly realize the mess is only surface level. Underneath the piles of dirty dishes, it becomes clear that their mother was more than a homemaker - she was a domestic goddess.
Homemade everything - their clothing, their curtains, their soap. The pantry is lined floor-to-ceiling with preserves. The freezer is so well stocked it makes me think they will be set if the apocalypse comes knocking.
When the boys see me looking over their expansive library, Lars and Finn explain that they were homeschooled until their parents died.
“Mamma taught me to read when I was three and a half,” Lars says proudly. “But now I’m big. I’m four.”
He has a slight lisp that is endearing and curly blonde hair that I can imagine his mother must have constantly run her fingers through. So young, yet he has lost so much.
“I see, and your uncle, has he always lived with you?”
The older boy, Finn, shakes his head sombrely. “No, he moved in after the accident, six weeks ago. Mamma and Papa died in a car crash. Onkel Erik is our only family in Norway.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I say, my shock impossible to hide. Of course the house is a mess and the boys are flinging mud and their sister is hiding away. They’re grieving.
Lars wipes his eyes. “I miss Mamma.”
I pull him into a hug just as Astrid walks down the stairs. She doesn't say anything, but she watches us from the bottom step.
“Of course you miss her,” I say determined to be strong for them. “She seems like the best mom in the world.”
I came here for a simple nanny job, but it’s obvious these children need more than a babysitter. There is no way I can be everything they need. But I can do my best to make this season of their lives as easy as possible.
Just then, their formidable uncle enters the house. For the last few hours, I’ve been able to ignore my physical attraction to him and focus on the kids, but now that he’s back, my stomach does a flip-flop.
His eyes flit around the house, seeing that it’s been tidied up. The dishes are done, the stacks of books and toys have been returned to bedrooms and shelves, and the light floods through the open windows allowing some fresh air inside the house. His shoulders fall and I focus on his face, taking in the exact moment his eyes soften. He’s grieving too.
“You cleaned the house,” he says, shrugging off his coat.
Before I can answer, Finn is asking him why he’s home. “I thought you said you’d be gone until after supper?”
He ruffles the boy’s hair. “Ja, well I figured work could wait.” His jaw tenses at that and I can tell he isn’t being honest. “Besides, I’m starving. Aren’t you?”
I bite my bottom lip, realizing I haven�
�t even considered making dinner. I’d been so preoccupied getting the house in order. “Sorry,” I start. “I haven’t made anything.”
Erik tells me it’s not a bother. “I’ve been making boxes of noodles for weeks. I can do it again. Besides, you’re the nanny, not the cook.”
“I can cook though,” I say, wanting to make his life easier.
“Can you?” he asks, looking me up and down, frowning. Judging me like every other man I’ve ever met. I have long legs and narrow waist and a pretty face and apparently that means my best asset is my body. But I am more than a magazine model.
“I can make a few things. Pancakes and eggs?”
“Breakfast for dinner?” Astrid asks from the stairwell, her voice surprising everyone.
“Yeah, it’s my specialty.” Then biting back a smile, I add, “Okay, it’s my one and only specialty, but if you find me some eggs maybe you can help me crack them?”
* * *
By the time dinner is finished, Erik is smiling. “I haven’t seen you eat so much in weeks,” he tells Astrid.
“I think the secret is maple syrup,” I say, clearing away the dishes.
Astrid gives us a small smile. “It’s my favorite.”
Erik tells the children to change for bed and let them know they can read for an hour.
When they run off to their rooms, I can’t help but raise my eyes in surprise. “That was easy.”
Erik shrugs, not looking up at me. “That isn’t me. Their parents were good at raising them. Nora and Daniel taught them that the best part of the day was bedtime, getting cozy with a book was dessert.”
“Except now that they have Uncle Erik living with them, they’ve learned about sweets,” I say, raising an eyebrow, remembering his threat about candy earlier today as I move to the sink.
“I have a lot to learn,” he says, exhaling.
“They’re lucky to have family,” I say.
“Lucky?” Erik’s eyes darken. “They’re not lucky.”
I bite my lip, rinsing the syrup from the plates. “Well, when I was fifteen, my mom died, and I didn’t have anyone. I lived with a friend until I turned eighteen.” I remember how hard it was, trying to navigate life alone. Luckily I had money from my modeling jobs, but I didn’t have family, someone looking out for me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, setting down the frying pan on the counter next to the sink. His arm brushes against mine and a shiver runs over my skin.
“It’s alright, it was a long time ago.”
All throughout dinner, I focused on the children and the food, unable to meet his eyes - mostly because I don’t trust myself to look at him straight on. He is too handsome, too masculine, too everything. And now I know I was right to think that. Being this close to him causes my core to tighten. He’s the kind of man I’ve always wanted. Strong, a protector, a shield against the storms of life.
“Still no one should be alone in the world,” he says.
I turn toward him, my stomach falling. Does he have someone after all? I was foolish to assume he was single.
“You have someone then?” I ask, the words sounding pathetic.
He steps toward me. “I have the children,” he says. “That’s plenty.”
“Right,” I say, exhaling, realizing I am once again reading everything wrong. I wish I were like my friends Dina and Elsie. They were virgins like me when they arrived at their nanny jobs, but they understood the workings of a male brain. Me? I don’t trust myself or my instincts. “For a second there I thought...”
“Thought what, Sofie?”
It’s the way he says my name that has me stepping close. Like he’s been thinking about me for hours. Like I am familiar. Like I am his.
“I thought maybe you might be lonely, is all.”
He cups my cheeks with his hand, as if taken over by something beyond his control, and I inhale. Those grey, stormy eyes search mine, filling me with a need I didn’t know I had.
I lick my lips, and his gaze drops to my mouth, and I see hunger flash in his eyes. A hunger that has a small whimper escaping my lips.
Then he tilts his head, and he kisses me. His lips softer than I would have thought, lips that meet mine, that cause my eyelids to flutter, my heart to pound, my desire to grow. But then he’s pulling back, and he mutters something that sounds like cursing in Norwegian.
“I’m sorry,” he says, stepping back. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
I press my fingers to my lips, still dazed by his kiss. “It’s okay. I liked it.”
His brows furrow and he takes a step toward me. “Sofie. You’re a beautiful girl.”
I put my hand up and stop him. “I know. This is completely inappropriate. I’m jet-lagged and a little overwhelmed by all this...” Usually I’m fairly calm and collected, but I’m rambling, my words tumbling from my lips. “And you’re, well...look at you...It’s like Brock O’Hurn and Chris Hemsworth had a baby. Crap. I shouldn’t have said that.” My cheeks warm under his scrutiny, and I just mutter a final, “Sorry.”
He gives a small smirk, but there’s a sadness in his eyes. “I take full responsibility for the kiss. And if this was any other situation I’d be doing a hell of a lot more than kissing you right now. But...”
“The kids.”
“Yeah.” He drags a hand over his beard and sighs. “I need you, Sofie. I’m not a man who usually asks for help. But I’ll be honest with you, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m a pretty great uncle, but so far I’m shit at this parenting thing.”
“I don’t know about that,” I tell him, my heart swelling at his openness, his ability to be honest. “But I’m glad that I’m here now.”
“Ja, kjære, so am I.” He looks like he’s about to reach out for me, to pull me to him again, but then he lets out a deep breath, turns and starts up the steps.
Kjære. I have no idea what it means, but I liked the sound of it on his lips. Liked the way he looked at me when he said it.
“I am in so much trouble,” I mumble as I finish cleaning up. Because I know the giant of a man has already claimed a small piece of me.
But I didn’t come here to fall in love. I came to Norway to do a job. A job I won’t be able to focus on if all I’m thinking about is Erik Johansen kissing me. But god, I want him to kiss me again, and again, and again...
“Sofie?” a small voice says from the shadows.
“Astrid,” I say when I see the small blonde head poking around the corner of the stairs. “I thought you were sleeping.”
“I had a bad dream.”
“Come,” I tell her, pulling out a chair, then pouring her a glass of milk. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
She takes a sip of her milk and shakes her head.
“Okay.” The girl is so tiny compared to the boys, even Lars who is two years younger is already bigger than her. But she has a quiet strength and intelligent eyes. “So what are your favorite things to do?”
“I like to read.”
“Me too.”
“And...” She chews on her bottom lip. “I like to swim. My daddy always takes us...” She sucks in a shaky breath.
I place my hand on hers. “I’m sorry about your mommy and daddy.” I don’t know what else to say. What I should say.
“My mommy had hair like yours.” She reaches out and runs her tiny hand over my long hair. “She was pretty.”
“I bet you look just like her.”
She nods, her eyes heavy with sleep. After she finishes her milk, I pick her up and carry her back to her room, tucking her into bed. She curls up, an old doll tucked under her chin and closes her eyes.
My heart aches for her. For all of them. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. To feel like your whole world is unraveling. And I feel selfish for wanting more from Erik when it’s clear that he already has more on his plate than he can handle.
Chapter Five
Erik
I don’t keep my distance from Sofie on purpose. I’d much rather be wit
h her than going through paperwork and loans and bills that need to be paid.
“You need to hire an accountant,” Filip says, leaning against the wall. “You can’t do this alone.”
I can and I will. It just means less time on the sea and more time behind a desk.
The phone rings, and I answer it gruffly, “Ja?”
“Erik?” Sophie’s soft voice filters through the line, immediately making my cock harden.
She’s been here less than a week, and I swear I’m already going insane from my desire for her.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. She’s never called me at work before, and I immediately fear that something has happened to one of the children.
It’s a weight I walk around with constantly. That something will happen to them, and I won’t be able to protect them.
“Nothing,” she says quickly. “I was just going to take the kids on a picnic, and I wondered...Sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you at work, but we wanted to know if you’d like to join us.”
“No.” I lean back in my chair. “You’re not bothering me. And ja, I could take a break.”
Filip raises a brow at me, and after I’ve ended the call, he says, “Was that the nanny?”
I shrug. “She’s taking the kids on a picnic, and I haven’t had lunch.”
He grunts. “You don’t have to make excuses. If I had a woman like that living under my roof, I’d be—”
“You’ve seen her?” Jealousy forms in the pit of my stomach, and I have no idea why.
“When she dropped off a bagged lunch for you yesterday,” he whistles. “Tell me, have you banged her yet?”
“Nei. And I’m not going to. She’s my employee.” I stand and grab my keys.
He shrugs. “Your loss, my gain.”
I have to hold back from slugging my friend. “You don’t go near her.”
“She gets a day off now and then, doesn’t she?”
“I’m not kidding, Filip. Stay away from her.” I storm out of the office, not understanding why I’m suddenly feeling so possessive of the woman. Yeah, we kissed. And I’m aching to do a hell of a lot more than that, especially at night when I know she’s sleeping only a bedroom away.
Unruly Norse: Love Without Limits Page 2