"Ryan, we just made love and now you are acting like everything between us is okay. I don’t think it is. Nothing is okay, because I’m not. Our problems haven’t been resolved. Could we even give a baby a good home? It wasn’t too long ago you ended it with me, calling me a whore. I don’t blame you for calling me one, but now I just want to be your sweetheart again.”
“I was angry,” he refuted. “I know it’s going to work out between us, because I’m still in love with you.”
Dhalia closed her eyes, and much like having a piece of exquisite chocolate in her mouth, she savored Ryan's words. She let her body and soul absorb their deep and sincere meaning.
When she opened them again he was looking at her waiting for her to respond. Dhalia paused for another minute or so before she continued. After hearing something so sweet from his lips it soured everything saying Bradley’s name, but this had to be discussed.
“Bradley only just assaulted me a few weeks ago. So if it’s his baby, do you really think that I want to carry it? It’s been years since I had that burning desire to have a baby. Now I find out I’m pregnant and I’m unsure who the father even is, you or Bradley.”
Their troubles in the past made her question if it really was Ryan's or not.
Ryan looked at her, clearly shocked over he was hearing.
“Ryan, please know that I really do want it to be yours.”
“We’ll find out, but no matter what, I know you’re going to keep the baby. You’ll do what’s right.” His eyes filled with terror at the thought that Dhalia would ever consider terminating the pregnancy.
When they got back to her room, Dhalia glanced into his eyes and confided, “I can’t go back to the Village just yet. You are going to have to go back and coach with Michael; the skaters need you.”
“You need me.”
“No, I need to be alone. I have serious decisions to make, and I don’t want you, or Bradley, to influence them.”
Dhalia packed her bags. She grabbed her luggage and turned to leave. Ryan followed her out.
She offered, “I’ll share a taxi with you to the airport unless you want to stay in my suite.”
“Not without you,” he replied.
Just before she was ready to leave, she texted Bradley.
Dhalia: I’m pregnant.
She put the last couple of items in her suitcase and said, “Okay, we can go now.” They left the room and passed Bradley in the hallway. His eyes glowed, and his lips turned up in what appeared to be a victory smile.
Good-Bye Toronto
The airport was crowded and Dhalia and Ryan affectionately said their good-byes. Her next stop was going to be Florida, to visit her mother, but the thought of the inquisition she faced turned her right off visit, so she picked Toronto instead. Dhalia was lucky. She got the last seat.
Her wait time was three hours for a flight that took four hours. It was going to be a long day. She chose a busy part of the airport to wait in, as her dad used to say, sometimes it’s harder to be found when one hides in plain sight. She did resent the fact that she felt like she had to hide.
She pulled out her phone to finish Shadonna Richard’s book. An hour passed and she decided to have a drink at the bar. She ordered a whiskey and took a seat at a table with two chairs. The lounge had floor-to-ceiling windows, so as she sipped, and she stared at the planes shuttling around the airport. The alcohol burned her throat, like the last time she had it at Bradley’s.
Her phone chirped. She dug through her carryon to retrieve it.
Bradley: Should you be drinking that in your condition?
She was startled and looked around the bar. She spotted Brad right away at a table close by, but away from the window.
She looked at the glass, and spitefully took a final sip before exchanging it for a different drink with the bartender.
Dhalia: Are you following me?
Bradley: No. I had nothing keeping me in Montego when I saw you leave.
She returned her attention to the window. After their few texts with each other, Bradley didn’t impose himself on her anymore. There was a woman sitting two tables from her Bugaboo stroller, and her baby started crying. She took the baby out from the stroller and started rocking it. “Cute baby,” Dhalia said to whom she assumed to be the mother.
She finished her drink and went back into my public hiding spot. She stayed there until she was allowed to board. She walked down the tunnel and gave her ticket to the flight attendant. The flight attendant directed Dhalia to her seat. Once she was comfortable, she saw Bradley board the same plane. She was kicking herself for not choosing a different destination. He was getting closer and closer to her until he was being shown the seat directly next to her. She couldn't have had worse luck if she tried.
“I didn’t plan this,” he offered before she could object. He stood in the aisle and took out papers and a laptop from his briefcase before putting it back into the storage compartment. He basically ignored her and worked on his laptop. He didn’t look over or make idle chitchat. He did nothing except look devilishly handsome completely engrossed in his work. Bradley was dressed in business attire and wore glasses that looked sharp on him.
Dhalia's body was betraying her, and she was starting to feel the first signs of pregnancy. As much as she didn’t want to get up and walk past Bradley, she had no choice because nature was yelling at her telling her she shouldn’t have consumed so much fluid before boarding the plane. She felt this sudden urgency to go to the bathroom.
“Can I get past you, please?”
Bradley looked at her and responded quietly, “Sure. You’re not getting off the plane, are you?"
“No.” She rolled her eyes. “Not that it’s any business of yours, but I have to go to the bathroom.”
She took her time, rinsed her face, and applied a fresh coat of lipstick. When she got back, she noticed Bradley put away all his work. She took her seat and he stared into her eyes. This time, it didn’t weird her out. She was able to stare back into his.
Then he said exactly what she wanted to hear, just not necessarily from him. “I want to take full responsibility for the baby whether it’s mine or not. The baby will not want for anything, nor will you. I want to share in his or her life, and I want to be a good dad. I want the rest of my time to be spent with you as your husband, and even if it takes the rest of my life, I will spend it proving to you how sorry I am for what I’ve done. Please, please, I beg of you, give me another chance."
With confidence that only Bradley was capable of, he leaned in and stole a slow, sensuous kiss from her. It was breathtaking. He pulled away. Dhalia was surprised by her own reaction. She wanted another one. She grabbed the back of his neck so he couldn’t move, and this time she was the one who took more. She kissed him again, and again, and again, proving to herself that he had no power to scare her. This time she was taking what she wanted.
She didn’t know what came over her. The rest of the flight she sat in amazed silence, mentally reliving what had happened. Bradley went back to his work, and as unusual as it was, he didn’t pester her to talk. As a matter-of-fact, they didn’t speak anymore for the duration of the flight.
When they landed at Pearson, Bradley helped her with her luggage and offered to share a cab. She graciously accepted his offer. She wasn’t feeling eager to be alone anymore. It was going to be good to be back at her condo, where her neighbors would dote on her once they heard she was having a baby. She was beginning to accept this idea.
The cab pulled up to her place and Bradley helped her get the luggage out of the car. “Can I bring it up for you?”
“Sure,” she agreed.
“Do you want me to wait?” the cab driver called out.
“Please,” Bradley responded.
When they got to the door, Bradley placed the luggage on the ground beside him and stepped back. Dhalia stepped towards him, kissing him hungrily then pushed him away hard. “Have a good night, Mr. Hotman.” He looked stunned.
The next morning, Dhalia booked an appointment with Dr. Murphy. She told the receptionist she was pregnant. The receptionist was elated for Dhalia, and she squeezed her in for the following morning.
Later that afternoon, she ate breakfast and went to her father’s gravesite. She brought her father’s favorite flannel blanket and a bouquet of yellow roses. She wanted to have a long chat with him and she wanted to be comfortable.
Dhalia placed the gorgeous yellow roses at the base of his headstone. Tears welled in her eyes, and everything became blurry to her. “I miss you, Daddy,” she said touching his cold gravestone. She wept over her loss. She prayed and repeated psalm number twenty-three to her number one hero. She confided all her secrets and all the shameful things she did and what happened to her. She prayed for guidance from her father. She cried at the closeness she felt to him even though he wasn’t with her anymore, his spirit was still there.
Her father, if he was alive, would have forgiven her. She knew that somehow she had to forgive herself before she could move on. This visit somehow taught her this.
Dhalia was lying across the blanket hugging herself, all cried out, and still without answers she needed, but she knew they would come. It was time to retrieve them. She knew her father’s spirit was watching out for her, and he heard every word she said. She found comfort in that. She promised her father she would be back to visit, left the flowers, and said good-bye.
Dhalia decided to pack up her condo. She wanted a new start, and it made no sense to pay rent on a place where she wasn’t staying while she was living in a different province. She went online and found a facility to store her worldly possessions until she could have them shipped to her new home ... wherever that may be. Exhausted by nightfall, after a light dinner, Dhalia fell asleep on the couch in front of the TV.
The next day, she went to Dr. Murphy’s office and obtained a requisition for an amniocentesis. She called the hospital, and as luck wouldn’t normally have it, they had a cancellation for that day. She had to inform them of the assault and that it was for prenatal paternal testing.
She went home and started texting right away.
She texted Ryan first:
Dhalia: I’m getting an amniocentesis today. I really need to know who the father is.
Ryan: Do I need to do anything?
Dhalia: I don’t think so. Bradley is in town, so I’ll just get him to provide any samples they might need. If he doesn’t match, then I’ll know for sure you’re the father.
Ryan: Where are you?
Dhalia: Toronto.
Ryan: You okay?
Dhalia: Yes. I visited Dad's grave when I got home. It made me feel a little bit better.
Ryan: That’s good. What’s Bradley doing in Toronto?
Dhalia: He lives here! Results take a couple of weeks. I can have the letter delivered to Calgary.
Ryan: How long are you staying in Toronto?
Dhalia: Not long. I want to get back to normal life. I want to keep coaching. It makes me happy.
Ryan: Okay, see you when you get back. I love you.
She lingered over his last line before she texted Bradley.
Dhalia: Can you come to the hospital this afternoon for a paternal screening?
Bradley: You’re having a paternity test?
Dhalia: I’m booked for this afternoon.
Bradley: I don’t think you should have it. Wait until the baby is born. Then you’re not putting it in jeopardy. The test you want to do can cause spontaneous abortion.
Dhalia: I need to know.
Bradley: Then I’ll be there for the procedure.
Dhalia: Do I have a choice?
Bradley: No, not if you want my DNA sample.
Dhalia: How did I know you were going to say that?
Bradley: I’m coming over.
Bradley picked her up in his Corvette. When they got to the hospital she checked in where they were to do the procedure and sat with Bradley in the waiting room.
She was starving and had to get her mind off food.
“I love driving in your Corvette,” she confided to him.
“I love driving you, in the Corvette,” he gushed back at her. “Are you nervous?" “No. What’s there to be nervous about? This is only going to have an impact on me and my child’s life.”
“How long will it take to get the results?”
“Several weeks.”
“Do you want me to pay them off to get them sooner?”
“No, thanks. I’m going to have the results mailed to me in Calgary. I plan on going back to work soon.”
“You don’t have to go back yet. I suggest you take the rest of the year off and start fresh in January. The show will definitely have a second season. If it’s for the money, no worries, I will pay you either way.”
“I want to go back. Really, I love teaching.”
They were called in at that moment. Bradley had his cheek swabbed and staff collected some of his hair. Next, they performed their invasive ultrasound guided amniocentesis to complete the paternity testing. Bradley held Dhalia's hand the entire time. Since she was having the procedure done anyway, they thought it was in her best interest to screen for genetic birth defects while they were at it.
Bradley took her home and came up to the condo to deliver her to her door. He noticed the moving boxes. “You’re moving?” He looked despondent.
“I need a fresh start,” she reasoned with him.
“Where are you moving?”
“I haven’t decided. Just putting my things into storage for now. No point in paying for the condo if I’m not using it.”
“I’ll pay for it then,” he interjected, sounding desperate.
“That’s not necessary. But thank you.”
“Will you inform me of the test results?”
“Of course I will.”
“I hope it’s mine. Nothing would give me greater joy.”
He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her softly. Dhalia didn’t push him away. If he was the baby’s father, didn’t she owe it to the baby to try to make it work?
“You’re so beautiful, Dhalia.” His hands slid down slowly and cupped her breasts. He kissed her with sweeping, larger-than-life kisses.
Her body was begging for his, like he was the devil’s candy. She resisted inviting him in, although admittedly she was so tempted. She didn’t want a friendly invitation to be taken out of context. She couldn’t have it happen again.
Dhalia gave notice to the owner of the condo and packed everything up over the next couple of days. She hired a moving company to put her belongings into storage and bid good-bye to Toronto, except for revisiting her father’s grave. She knew it would be a long time before she would be returning.
Her flight to Calgary filled her with joy. She was ready to return. A huge smile befell her face as she scanned the morning sky that resembled what she thought Heaven would look like. She didn’t tell anyone when she was coming back. The only person who knew was Bradley.
When she got to the airport she grabbed her luggage and hailed a cab to go back to the Village. She calculated what time she thought she was going to get there and realized that Ryan would be teaching in the rink. She dropped off her luggage in her room and headed straight over, assuring she wasn’t seen by anyone on the way to Ryan.
She spotted him immediately, teaching rink side. She snuck up from behind and reached up and covered his eyes. “Guess who?”
Ryan turned around and literally threw her up in the air. He caught her, then he planted a huge kiss on her mouth. “Now, that’s the kind of welcome I like!”
“When did you get back?”
“Just now!” She co
uldn’t stop kissing him, and he couldn’t stop kissing her. It was so sweet. She felt like she had her answer.
Scott and Diane were genuinely excited to see her too, and before she knew it, everyone in the arena was coming over to greet her with hugs and kisses. She gave a little impromptu speech explaining that she was doing better, and she was planning to coach the remainder of the competitive season. The big ones were just around the corner.
Scott and Diane performed their new program and they got right back to work, like nothing happened. Michael and Ryan groomed this couple well. Their original awkwardness was transformed into grace and beauty. Their throws covered large areas of the ice, and their spins had elevated to competition standards. Their lifts were impressive and strong. She was so proud of Ryan. She could have cried, and she did cry. These damn pregnancy hormones were absolutely killing her!
A commercial for dog food could make her cry these days, but that’s another story.
When they finished at the rink, Ryan and Dhalia went for food. They talked about her visit with her dad, how she gave up the condo, and the amniocentesis. Ryan looked shocked regarding all her news, in particular the support Bradley gave her during the amniocentesis. She no longer held anything back from Ryan. He deserved better than that.
She told Ryan she kissed Bradley. It had become a challenge to overcome her fear she explained to him. She admitted that she wasn’t sure if the results from the amniocentesis would affect her decisions or not. She reassured him of her deep love for him. Ryan didn’t like the fact that Bradley insisted on escorting her to the test but she told him it was necessary to do so, and he hated that they kissed.
“He manipulated you,” Ryan accused.
"I needed one of you there," she defended.
For the next couple of weeks when Dhalia wasn’t going to the bathroom every ten minutes to pee, or being sick for no apparent reason, she breathed, ate, and slept figure skating until Worlds approached. The competition came to them and everyone in the camp was excited. When it came time for Scott and Diane to skate, Ryan and Dhalia stood rink side like two bags of nerves watching them as if they were their own kids. "Their own kids," that sounded nice!
Kiss & Cry, Where Passion Awaits Page 20