by Ni-Ni Simone
“I’m tryna say that if you ain’t passin’ off, then maybe you should take the bus home.”
“What?” I couldn’t believe this.
“Yeah.” And he shook his head to confirm what he’d just said. “Yeah. Matter a fact, here comes the bus now.”
I couldn’t believe this. I had absolutely no words for him. “You know we through then, right Jahaad?” I snapped.
“Yeah,” he said as I slammed the door behind me. “Pretty much.”
By the time I got home, the shock of what Jahaad had pulled on me had formed into tears. I walked in my door but before I could close it and decide where I could find a quiet spot in the house to cry, the twins and Mica ran toward me. “Elite!” I looked down and they were crying. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“What’s wrong?” I panicked.
“Mommy and Gary—” Aniyah pointed—“are tearing up the house looking for money.”
“Where the hell is my money, Elite?” My mother stormed in the room toward me.
“What are you talking about?” I frowned at her. She was wild in the eyes, and I’d never seen her look this way. I could tell she was high, but she’d never been high quite like this before. For a moment I wondered if she was doing something other than crack. I looked at my sisters and brother. “Y’all go in the other room!”
“Don’t tell my damn kids what to do! These are my kids and I’m the mama around here. Now where the hell is my money?”
“What money?”
“My welfare money. My Work First card has a zero balance.”
“I paid the rent with it!”
My mother raised her hand and slapped me so hard I stumbled directly into Jahaad, who was at the front door. “Let me tell you something,” my mother spat. “Don’t you ever take my money! You understand me?” She snatched my purse from me and emptied the contents on the floor.
“Wooooo,” Jahaad said, walking into the apartment. “Wait—wait, Ms. Parker.” He went in his wallet. “How much you need?” He pulled out a hundred dollar bill. “Here, take this.”
“Jahaad,” I said, wiping my tears and fighting off my embarrassment. “You don’t need to do that.”
“It’s okay.” He looked at me with pity in his eyes. “I’m straight.”
My mother snatched the money from his hands, and she and Gary disappeared out the door. I didn’t even know what to say. “Jahaad—I’m sorry—”
“Look,” he said as he stroked my cheek, “you didn’t do anything. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. My fault for what I did tonight. That was foul—real foul—and I hope you forgive me.”
Now that was the Jahaad I remembered, and all I could do was hug him. “I forgive you,” I said, knowing that despite him giving my mother money and getting her off me, my feelings for him were fading.
After a few hours of Jahaad sitting with me and us planning a future that I felt like both of us were questioning the validity of, Sydney walked into the living room. “Elite,” she said in the loudest whisper in the world. “I gotta tell you a secret.”
“A what?”
“A secret. Some dude named Haneef called and Aniyah told me to whisper it in your ear. So, can you come over here so I can tell you?”
I swallowed because I felt the heat from Jahaad’s eyes piercing through me. “Don’t worry, Sydney, you just told me.”
SPIN IT…
Track 11
The hundred dollars and that Haneef was my rich and rappin’ jump-off was thrown at me constantly after that. Jahaad just kept tossing it in my face.
Along with that, after Haneef came to school and picked me up, I had more chicks either trying to be my friend or thinking they could talk about me and spread rumors like wildfire: I was a ho, I was going with both Jahaad and Haneef, I thought I was cute…(well, maybe the “I thought I was cute” part was true, but still), that I gave it up to Haneef on the first date, and on and on it went.
And what was funny was that none of them knew my real life story, and that the version I’d sold them was straight fiction. I told them my dad was in the army and stationed in Iraq, and that my mother was a nurse, though I told the truth about my brothers and sisters. There was no way I was gonna deny their existence, even if I’d wanted to.
I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering what it would be like to be famous and if I could really be like Mary J. or Keyshia Cole. Then maybe I’d be able to pay for my mother to go to rehab, buy us a house with a pool in the backyard, and then maybe…I would even fix up this place so whoever came in here after us would feel some hope, and not our despair.
“Elite!” Ny’eem called, opening my bedroom door at the same time.
“Wassup?” I sat up and looked at him.
“I’ma take the twins and Mica to the movies.”
I couldn’t believe it. “What? You? Is it a storm outside?” I laughed.
“Funny.”
“But nah, I just felt like chillin’ with them.”
“You need some money?”
“Nah, I got it.”
“Bus fare?”
“What did I just tell you?”
“Snacks?”
“No,” and he closed the door behind him. But then I got up and went into the living room. I was happy he was taking them somewhere, but I had to make sure they looked decent. And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I stepped into the living room, Mica had a sheet wrapped around his neck and the twins looked a hot ass mess with my clothes on.
“If you,” I pointed to each of them, “don’t take that mess off, you won’t be going anywhere!”
“What’s wrong with ’em?” Ny’eem asked.
“Mica looks like a jacked Superman, and the twins, don’t they look crazy to you? Ny’eem, you’re not dressing like that.”
“Don’t compare me to no li’l kids, ai’ight? I’ma grown ass man, dawg, and besides, I thought they looked kinda fly.”
“What? Boy, don’t play with me.” I balled up my fist. “Now, bounce.” I pointed back at Mica and the twins. “In your room and change your clothes.”
Reluctantly, and with the biggest attitudes in the world, they went in the other room and redressed. A few minutes later they came out looking like someone took care of them. I kissed them all on the foreheads and said, “Now you look real cute.”
“Uhmm hmm,” the twins twisted their lips to the side.
“Can we go now, Mother?” Ny’eem asked sarcastically.
“Yes, son,” I replied with the same sarcasm. “Now you can leave.”
“Always think she’s somebody’s mother,” Sydney mumbled under her breath.
“What you say, Syd?” I snapped.
“Nothing.”
Mica looked at me. “She said—”
“Say it,” Sydney threatened, “and see if that sheet you wrap yourself in don’t disappear.”
“She said—” Mica gave me a toothless and nervous grin—“that you look real pretty.” And then he waved bye and smiled as they proceeded out the door.
A few minutes later, I thought better about not giving Ny’eem any money, and that I’d slide twenty dollars in Aniyah or Sydney’s pocket, just in case…whatever just in case was.
“Wait!” I ran out the door and tried to catch up to them. But as I got to the front door of the building, they were nowhere in sight. “Dang!”
“Elite,” I heard a whisper float in my direction. “Elite.”
I looked down and it was my mother’s boyfriend, Gary, crouched in the corner, with a lit cigarette shaking from the corner of his mouth. “Yo, let me hollah at you for a minute.”
“Ill, you better go hollah at a job and get the hell out my face!”
“I got a job. That’s what I wanna talk to you about. You think you could loan me two dollars and twenty-seven cents so I can get back and forth to work next week?”
“Two dollars and twenty-seven cents? How did you even come up with that? Man, please.” I couldn’t believe it. No
w Gary was asking me for money? “I can’t believe you’re asking me for money!”
“What did he ask you?!” My mother stormed toward us, crossing the street to the front of the building.
“Where did you come from?” Gary stood up nervously. “I was just getting to know my daughter.”
“Your daughter?! Ill. Not.” I frowned. My daddy might have been a scumbag, but he wasn’t this scumbag.
My mother looked at Gary as if she could’ve sliced his throat. “These is not yo’ kids, Gary. You done gone crazy? Now,” she looked at me, “what the hell did he ask you?”
“For two dollars and twenty-seven cents,” I snapped.
“You asked my baby for some money?!” My mother started screaming, and the next thing I knew it was a full-fledged fallout. They were cussing and carrying on in the street, and the only words I could make out were, “How you gon’ ask my child for two dollars? You ain’t me!”
That was my cue. Her bein’ extra with Gary must’ve been a weak attempt at an apology.
Whatever.
I ran back inside the apartment, grabbed my purse, and made sure the doors were all locked. Then I proceeded down the block to Naja’s house.
Ten minutes later, I rang Naja’s bell and her grandmother came to the door. She stared at me like she could’ve slapped me into next week. “I know damn well you didn’t come to church dressed like that?!”
“Church?” I said, taken aback.
“Yeah, church,” she snapped. “God’s crib.”
Oh…kay…
I didn’t know whether to go in or to leave, so I stood in the doorway before deciding what to do. “Naja!” I yelled.
She came running from the back. “Girl, what are you yelling for? The bell works.”
“Mom-Mom—” I pointed.
“It’s Sister Delicious,” Mom-Mom snapped. “Didn’t I just tell you it was Sunday?”
“Ma!” Naja yelled as she walked to the door and I stepped in.
“What is it?” Neecy responded.
“Come get Mom-Mom.”
Neecy walked into the living room wearing a robe and rollers in her hair.
“Oh…my…God,” Mom-Mom said. “I know damn well,” she pointed at the TV screen with Creflo Dollar on full blast, “you ain’t come in here amongst all these church folk dressed like a tramp. I told my son you was a heathen.”
“Oh…kay…” I mumbled to myself, wondering why I’d left my own house.
“Mom-Mom,” Neecy said as she grabbed her hand, “Oprah is looking for you.”
Oprah?
“I don’t speak to Oprah no more,” Mom-Mom said. “Not after she stole Stedman from me.”
And I thought my house was live.
Naja and I walked to her room and she cut the radio and TV on. We watched some videos and listened to some music, but decided two hours later we were bored as heck.
“So what we gon’ do today?” Naja asked.
“I don’t know, but there has to be something to do.”
“It is Sunday.”
“True.”
Before I could respond, my phone rang.
I looked at the caller ID. Haneef. “It’s Haneef,” I panted.
“What? Haneef? Oh, my God!” Naja screamed. “I wonder if you won another radio contest.”
“I didn’t try for another contest.”
“So, you could’ve still won.”
“Huh?”
“Anyway, you gon’ answer it?”
“I can’t.” I tossed the phone to her. “You answer it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I might try to get with him. So you better get it, before he hangs up.”
“Good point. And I would hate for us to fall out.” I flipped open the phone. “Hello?”
“Wassup, Li’l Ma?”
There went that sexy ass Li’l Ma again. “Nothin’. Chillin’.” I hoped the forced confidence in my voice made up for the butterflies taking over my belly.
He laughed. “Well, I’m back in town and my CD just went platinum, so I’m having a party. I want you to come and chill with me.”
“Me?” I couldn’t believe it. “You going a long way just to please a fan, don’t you think?”
“That’s how I do it, Li’l Ma,” he said. “You ai’ight with that?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
I laughed. “No, it’s cool.”
“So you comin’?”
“Uhmmm hmmm,” was my attempt to keep playing it cool.
“Straight. So meet me around nine o’clock on 165 Grand Street at the Palace Club, and ask for James. He’s on my security team and he’ll show you to V.I.P.”
“Ai’ight.”
“Ai’ight, Li’l Ma. One.” And he hung up.
“What happened?” Naja asked.
As I went to answer, all that came out of my mouth were screams: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“The choir singin’?” Mom-Mom pounded on Naja’s door. “I’m ’spose to sing lead.”
“You better tell me what he said right now,” Naja snapped, “or I’ma let Delicious in here.”
“Okay…okay…he said, he wanted to go out. To meet him at the Palace around nine.”
“Oh hell, yeah, we goin’,” Naja insisted.
“We? Don’t you have a curfew?”
“What, girl, a body pillow tucked under my sheet does wonders. Plus this is my mother’s bingo night. So she’ll be gone forever.”
“Good!” I said excited, and then I remembered that I had a few dollars but my money was limited. “How we gon’ get there?”
“I’ll ask my dad for the car.”
“And what we gon’ wear?”
She hopped off the bed and ran over to her closet, “Welcome to the world of bebe.”
I stood stunned. “You didn’t take that back?”
“Heck, no. Did you?”
“Yeah.”
“You stupid then. Not I. I’ma rock my gear. And some of it I haven’t even wore yet.”
“Dang. I don’t know about keeping it, Naja. Suppose Thelma gets suspicious.”
“Gurl, Thelma can’t see her way outta paper bag. She ain’t thinking about these clothes.”
“I don’t know,” I said wearily.
“Stop worrying about that and let’s get down with the get down, and see what we gon’ wear.”
After sorting through the clothes, I picked out a fitted black miniskirt and a halter. I had a leather midriff jacket and some stilettos at my house, which I quickly ran to get and hurried back. Now my entire outfit was fiyah. Naja put on a tight denim skirt with a cute backless shirt, a matching leather jacket, and a pair of stilettos. Hot was not the word for how we looked. Fierce was more like it.
Once we were dressed and our hair was flat-ironed straight, Naja said, “Come on. My mother should be gone so I can ask my daddy now.”
We went in the living room where her father was watching TV. “Daddy,” Naja whined.
“Yup-Yup.”
“Can I,” she twisted her finger into her dimpled cheek, “borrow the car to go out?”
“Hell, no.” Her mother walked into the living room, fully dressed, with her purse tucked under her arm.
“Where did you come from?” Naja asked in shock.
“That doesn’t matter. All that matters is no, you cannot borrow the car.”
“But why?”
“Because I said so! And besides, you have school tomorrow. Not to mention, you just got your license and you’re too young to be driving my car all over the place.”
“It’s Daddy’s car,” Naja snapped.
“Oh, you getting smart?!” Neecy said. “Hmph. Well, you really ain’t goin’ now.” Neecey kissed Naja’s dad on the cheek and left.
I looked at Naja and she was pissed. I twisted my lips and realized we’d just been shut down. When we walked back into Naja’s room, I said, “What the heck we gon’ do
now?”
“Oh, we goin’.” She sucked her teeth.
“And how is that?”
“My daddy goes to bed every night at nine. We’ll wait until then, and take the car.”
“Take the car? Like steal it?”
“No, borrow it.”
“Here we go again.”
“What’s the problem?”
“I don’t wanna steal anymore.”
“There you go with the stealing. I just said borrow it.”
“Borrow it, like those clothes you borrowed in your closet? That’s stealing.”
“As long as there’s an option to bring it back, it’s borrowing.”
“And what about when your mother comes home and sees the car is gone?”
“She won’t notice. She’ll think Daddy pulled his car in the garage.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Trust me.”
“Alright, Naja, but yo’ ass is mad sneaky.”
When nine o’clock came, it was like clockwork; her dad went to bed and a few minutes later he was asleep. Naja snuck the keys from his pants pocket and a few seconds later we were on our way, rushing down the street like we’d escaped from someplace.
My heart was beating fast, but Naja acted like an expert.
“Girl,” she said, driving down the block, “we gon’ have a ball.”
“Naja, are you sure we should do this?” I asked as we pulled up to the red light.
“Yeah, girl. It’s all good.”
“Okay…Naja, I wanna tell you something.”
“What?”
I sighed. “I lied to Haneef about my real life.”
“You lied?”
“Yeah. The night we went out on his boat, I didn’t exactly let him bring me home.”
“I knew you gave him some booty. Now what sleazy four-hour stay did you hit?”
“Ill, didn’t I tell you I was not about to be a ho? What I’m saying is he didn’t drop me off in front of the building where I live.”
“So, where’d he take you?”
“I had him drop me off in front of your house.”
“My house? Girl, don’t mess around and have me going with him, and Mom-Mom tryna get at him on the creep.”
I laughed.
“But why’d you do that?” she asked.
“Because, I can’t tell him about my mother. Do you know how devastated I would be? I swear, I don’t want anyone to know that shit.”