by Dave Barry
“They didn’t throw the ball.”
“Huh,” she said. She seemed to take it pretty well.
“Do you know where Taylor is?” I said.
“She’s at Marissa’s.”
“Shouldn’t she be home by now?”
“She’ll be home soon. Marissa’s mom is bringing her. She just texted me.” She frowned. “Why do you want to know where Taylor is?”
“I don’t!” I said. “Really, I don’t. I was just…wondering.”
She was giving me a suspicious look now because this was probably the first time in my entire life I ever acted like I cared about Taylor. “You better not be up to something.”
“I’m not, seriously.”
“Well you better not be. You’re already in a lot of trouble.”
I went back into the family room. Dad was still mad, but now it was about a new thing.
“YOU CALL THAT PUNT COVERAGE?” he said. He looked at me. “YOU CALL THAT TACKLING?”
I didn’t answer because I was pretty sure these were what Mrs. Padmore, my English teacher, would call rhetorical questions.
“MY GRANDMOTHER COULD TACKLE BETTER THAN THAT. AND SHE’S BEEN DEAD FOR SIXTEEN YEARS.”
I kept on walking, back to my room. I closed the door and called Victor, who answered right away.
“Okay,” he said. “This is interesting.”
“What?”
“I did some Googling. It turns out Frank Bevin is the leader of a group of money guys who want to build this giant new development called MegaDade. It’s like this whole new city—office buildings, houses, condos, apartments, stores, restaurants, lakes, pools, golf courses, clubs, all kinds of stuff. The biggest development in Dade County ever. Guess where they want to build it?”
“I give up.”
“Right next to the zoo.”
“Really?”
“Really. And guess what else?”
“What?”
“To build it, they need this big chunk of empty land that belongs to the county, which also owns the zoo. The people who run the zoo are planning to expand onto the empty land. They have all these plans for new exhibits. But now Bevin’s group is trying to get the county to sell the land to them instead. So there’s this big fight between Bevin’s group and the zoo people over who will get the land. The county commissioners are supposed to vote on it November first, which is Tuesday.”
“This Tuesday,” I said. “The day after tomorrow.”
“Also the day after Halloween. According to the Miami Herald, the zoo is probably going to win, but it’s really close. If they lose a couple of votes, Bevin’s group will get the land.”
“Okay,” I said. “This has to have something to do with why Bevin is collecting dangerous animals.”
“Yeah,” said Victor. “But what?”
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe Bevin’s going to show his snakes and stuff to the commissioners and say, look, the zoo has all these dangerous things, so you can’t trust them.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” said Victor. “The zoo already has the dangerous animals. Bevin could just point that out. He wouldn’t have to go to all this trouble to bring in his own. Plus, by having them he’s breaking the law. So he’d be the one who looked bad.”
“So what’s he planning to do?”
While we were thinking about that, I got another call.
“Jon’s calling,” I told Victor. “I’ll call you later.”
I disconnected Victor and answered Jon. “Hello?”
“Wyatt, it’s Jon. That Halloween thing at the zoo, that is weird. That can’t be coincidence. There has to be a connection. But I can’t figure out what.”
“Well, there’s something else that might be connected.”
“What?”
“Okay, Victor found out that Frank Bevin…”
“Who’s Victor?”
“A kid I know. He lives across the canal from the Bevins. He’s real smart. And he knows about what’s going on.”
“Okay, what did Victor find out?”
So I told him about the MegaDade project and the land that Bevin wanted to take away from the zoo, and that the commissioners were going to vote on it November first. When I was done, he was quiet for a little while. Then he said, “This is bad.”
“What is?”
“I think I know what’s Bevin’s planning. And if I’m right, it’s really bad.”
“What is?” I said again.
“Can’t talk now. I have to check some stuff out. I’ll get back to you. This is really bad.”
Before I could ask him a third time, he disconnected.
I was about to call Victor back when Taylor opened my door.
“Knock-knock,” she said.
“You’re back,” I said, trying not to let her see that I was actually glad.
“You missed me!” she said.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Really? Then how come you asked mom where I was?”
Busted.
“Never mind that,” I said. “What’s going on in Bay Estates?”
She came in, closed the door, and sat on my bed. “Well,” she said, “at first I couldn’t see anything because the Bevins have this giant wall around their whole yard.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“So I went over there.”
“You did? How?”
“Marissa and I went over there to sell Girl Scout cookies.”
“You’re not a Girl Scout.”
“I know. Neither is Marissa. And we didn’t have any Girl Scout cookies. So Marissa got a package of Oreos from her kitchen, and we used those.”
“And they actually believed you were Girl Scouts?”
“Sure. We just acted cute.” She batted her eyes.
“So what happened?”
“We rang the doorbell and this guy came to the door. Not one of the Bevins. A big guy. He said they didn’t need any Girl Scout cookies. So I asked him if we could please use the bathroom. I could tell he didn’t really want to let us in, but we were all ‘please, mister, please please please.’” She batted her eyelashes again.
“Stop doing that with your eyes,” I said.
“I’m just demonstrating my espionage technique,” she said. “Anyway, he finally let us inside and showed us where the bathroom was. He stood right there in the hall, like keeping an eye on us. So I went into the bathroom first, and when I came out I whispered to Marissa, on her way in, to pretend she got locked in there. So she went in the bathroom, and I wandered down the hall a little and said, ‘This is such a lovely home!’ And the guy said, ‘Please stay here.’ And then Marissa pounded on the bathroom door and said, ‘I can’t open the door!’ So the guy went to the door, and while he was doing that I scooted down the hall and around the corner into the living room. They have a really nice living room.”
“I know,” I said. “I saw it.”
“So, like ten seconds later the guy came around the corner and said, ‘Hey! You’re not supposed to be here.’ And I said, ‘Oh, I’m just admiring the lovely home.’ And he said, ‘I’m sorry, but you have to go now.’ So we left.”
“So that’s it? They have a nice living room? That’s your espionage report?”
“No. When I was in the living room, I could see the backyard.”
She waited, annoyingly, for me to ask her what she saw. I sighed. “Okay, what did you see?”
“Two trucks.”
“What kind of trucks?”
“Big boxy ones. Like those big U-Haul trucks. Except they were white, and they said Gomez Party Rentals on the side. They were parked back there between these, like, hills they have in their backyard. I was gonna try to get a closer look, but the guy came and said we had to go.”
“Trucks,” I said.
“Yeah. And I don’t think they’re really for party rentals.”
“I don’t, either.”
“I think they’re to move those creepy animals.”
I nodded, and lo
oked out the window, thinking about the trucks. It was dark outside. It suddenly hit me that the next day was Monday, which meant school, and I had a ton of homework to do. It seemed stupid to be worried about homework with all this other stuff going on, but the last thing I wanted to do was get into any more trouble with my parents, especially my mom.
“We should call Jon,” said Taylor. “About the trucks.”
“He’s doing something right now,” I said.
“How do you know?”
“He called just before you got here.” I told her about the MegaDade project and the zoo property. “Jon said he wanted to check something out, and he’d get back to me.”
“When he gets back to you, you have to let me talk to him,” she said. “So I can tell him about the trucks.”
“I can tell him about the trucks.”
“No! I want to tell him. I’m the one who did the espionage.”
“Also he’s cute.”
“Very.”
“Okay, you can tell him.”
There was a knock on the door.
“What,” I said.
My mom opened the door. “Wyatt, it’s time for—” She stopped when she saw Taylor.
“You’re here,” she said.
“Yes,” said Taylor.
“In Wyatt’s room.”
“Yes.”
My mom looked at me. “Taylor’s in your room.”
“Yes.
“And you’re fine with that.”
“Yes.”
She stared at us. “What’s going on? WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO?”
“We were just talking,” said Taylor.
“Just talking,” said my mom. “Right. You two, who never have a polite conversation, who get along the way North Korea gets along with South Korea, who can’t decide on what pizza toppings to get without starting a nuclear war, you were just sitting around having a cordial conversation.”
Taylor and I nodded.
Mom stared at us for a few more seconds, then said, “Are you kids doing drugs?”
“What? No!” I said.
“Mom!” said Taylor.
“Well,” said my mom, “whatever is going on here, I don’t like it, you hear me?”
“You don’t like us having a cordial conversation?” said Taylor.
“Don’t you get smart with me, young lady. You two wash up. Dinner’s ready. Your father will not be joining us. He’s in mourning.”
We washed up and went to the kitchen, passing my dad, who was lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. The TV was off.
“They lost?” I said.
He looked at me and said, “A screen pass. In that situation. A SCREEN PASS.”
“Unbelievable,” I said. It seemed like the right thing.
He looked back at the ceiling. We left him that way.
For dinner we had my mom’s arroz con pollo, which is a Cuban dish, chicken and rice, that’s really good. Taylor and I were careful not to say anything nice to each other. After dinner I told my mom I had homework, and went to my room. I opened my trigonometry book and read for maybe eleven seconds before I fell asleep. That’s the kind of scholar I am.
Somewhere in the middle of my ninety-third weird dream, I woke up. I looked at my phone. It was 1:14 a.m.
Then I realized what woke me up.
Tap-tap-tap-tap.
I jumped out of bed and looked out. Jon was making an open-the-window motion.
I opened it and he climbed in.
“This is bad,” he said. “This is really bad.”
“What is it?” I said.
“I went down to the zoo,” he said, “to check out the—”
He stopped, because Taylor had opened the door. Either she was the world’s lightest sleeper, or she’d been staying up in case Jon appeared.
“Hi, Jon,” she said, closing the door behind her.
“Sure, come on in,” I said.
“Hi, Taylor,” said Jon.
“What’s that smell?” I said.
“Nothing,” she said.
“It’s perfume! It’s the middle of the night and you put on perfume.” It smelled like at least a gallon.
“Shut up,” said Taylor. She turned to Jon. “They have trucks.”
“Who does?” he said.
“The Bevins. I did some espionage.” She told him about the trucks.
“Taylor,” he said, “that was very dangerous, going over there.”
“I know!” she said. If you guessed that she also batted her eyelashes, you’re getting to know my sister.
“But you’re confirming what I suspected,” said Jon. “The trucks…It makes sense.”
Taylor stuck her tongue out at me.
“What makes sense?” I said.
“Okay, let me back up,” said Jon. “Like I was saying, I went down to the zoo to check out the Halloween exhibit. It’s at the far end from the main entrance, which means it’s near the fence separating the zoo from the open land that Bevin wants to buy. It’s pretty overgrown back there—I walked around—but there’s a dirt road that runs near the fence, right behind the building where they have the Killer Kritters.”
“So trucks could get in there,” said Taylor.
“Yup.”
“Okay,” I said, “but why would Bevin take his animals to the zoo, which already has the exact same animals? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’m afraid it does,” said Jon. “Although I’m still having trouble believing it.”
“Believing what?”
“Here’s what I think is going to happen. Tomorrow night is the big Halloween party at the Killer Kritters exhibit. Actually, it’s already tomorrow, so the party’s tonight. Anyway, I asked around down at the zoo; they’re expecting a lot of people. At some point during that party, after it gets dark, the two trucks are going to drive up the dirt road on the other side of the fence. They’re going to be carrying the crates with Bevin’s collection. They’re going to open the crates, and they’re going to release the animals.”
“Seriously?” I said. “They’re just going to let them go?”
“I think that’s what’s going to happen.”
“Right next to the zoo fence.”
“Yes. With a couple thousand people milling around on the other side, just a few feet away.”
“But the fence would keep the people safe,” said Taylor.
Jon shook his head. “No,” he said. “I had a good look at that fence. It’s industrial chain link, ten feet high with barbed wire on top. It’s great for keeping people out. But it’s not going to stop a snake from getting in, or a spider, or a scorpion. It’s definitely not going to stop ants.”
“What about a Komodo dragon?” I said.
“It’d have a little more trouble, but I think that bad boy could work his way under the fence.”
“But why would Bevin do that?” I said. “I mean, those animals, with all those people around…Why?”
“Money,” said Jon. “A lot of money. I did some research, following up on what your friend Victor found out. It turns out that Frank Bevin’s financial empire is shaky. Very shaky, according to rumors. He’s had some major deals go bad, and he owes a lot of money. So basically he’s betting everything on this MegaDade project. He really needs it to succeed, which means he really needs the county to sell him the land next to the zoo. He and his people have been leaning hard on the county commissioners, but right now they don’t have enough votes. The zoo’s very popular, and most of the commissioners think they’ll look bad if they vote against the zoo to help some rich guy.
“So lately—this is what caught my attention—Bevin’s people have been claiming that the zoo is badly managed, and might even be a hazard to the community. They specifically mentioned the Killer Kritters exhibit. They claimed it was a safety risk. The zoo people were angry about that, said they were very careful and the exhibit is totally safe, which is true. And so far everybody believes the zoo. But imagine what will happen if tomorrow ni
ght, at the big Halloween party, a black mamba or a deathstalker scorpion gets loose in that crowd.”
“But wouldn’t they know it’s not from the zoo?” I said. “I mean, all the zoo animals would still be in their cages.”
“Right, and that’s exactly what the zoo people would say. But nobody would believe them. Everybody would think that somehow some animals got out. I mean, if the zoo has an exhibit of Brazilian wandering spiders, and a visitor gets bit by a Brazilian wandering spider, nobody’s going to think it didn’t come from the zoo. The zoo is going to look really bad.”
“But if that spider bites somebody…” said Taylor. “Or that mamba snake…”
“Yeah,” said Jon. “Somebody could be seriously hurt. Or worse. Much worse. When the driver ants come out, after being cooped up in there…You would not want to be in their way.”
“And you really believe Bevin would do that?” I said. “For a land deal?”
“He’s a desperate man. And it’s a lot of money.”
“Wow,” I said. “This is bad.”
“Yup,” said Jon.
“We can’t let this happen,” said Taylor. “We have to tell the police, right?”
“I did,” said Jon.
“What?” I said. “When?”
“Before I came here. I went in and tried to tell them what was going on. But the second I mentioned the name Bevin, they told me to hold on, that they had to contact my bosses. Then they told me some Fish and Wildlife guys were coming over to hear what I had to say. Remember when I told you I had a police source?”
“Yes.”
“While I’m sitting there in the waiting room, I get a text from him. Tells me my bosses told the cops I’m mentally unstable and they’re sending somebody over to take me in for psychological evaluation.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning, basically, arrest me. Like I told you, Bevin has very powerful friends, and whoever they are, they’re leaning hard on my bosses to get me out of the way.”
“So what’d you do?” said Taylor.
“I ran away. Said I had to use the bathroom, climbed out the window, and took off. So now I’m a lunatic and a fugitive. I can’t even go back to my apartment.”
“Wow,” said Taylor.
“Yeah,” said Jon.
“So now what?” I said.
“Now I have to try to stop Bevin without any help from the police. In fact, I have to try to stop Bevin while avoiding the police, not to mention Fish and Wildlife.”