“Thanks,” he answered, then left without another word. Caidy wanted to bury her face in the gravy.
“Wow. I guess the two of you haven’t exactly hit it off,” Becca said.
Caidy thought of that sizzling kiss, apparently mostly one-sided. “You could say that,” she answered.
Her mother would have yanked her earlobe and sent her to her bedroom for being so unconscionably rude to a guest in their home. She couldn’t face him again. How could she sit at the table beside him after what he had heard her say? The worst of it was, none of it was true. She was just being petty and small, embarrassed that she was so fiercely attracted to a man who regretted ever touching her.
How could she figure out a way to stay here in the kitchen all evening?
She let out a heavy breath. She was going to have to find a way to apologize to him, but how on earth could she manage that without giving him some kind of explanation? She couldn’t tell him the truth. That would only add another layer of mortification onto her humiliation.
“Um, I think I’ll just take these rolls out,” Becca said into the sudden painful silence.
After she hurried out of the kitchen, Laura placed a hand on Caidy’s arm. “Okay, what was that about? Did something happen between the two of you?”
Her dear friend had known her for many years—long before her parents were killed, when everything in her world changed. She didn’t want to tell her. She didn’t want to talk to anyone—she just wanted to hide out in her room with Luke. He, at least, was one male she didn’t feel awkward and stupid around.
She sighed. “I called him to come over last night. One of those frantic, middle-of-the-night emergencies. Luke was having trouble breathing and I was upset and didn’t know what else to do. He... Before he left, he... We kissed. It was...great. Really great. But today he told me what a mistake it was. He acted like it was this horrible experience that we should both pretend never happened. I guess I was more hurt than I realized by his reaction. I lashed out, which wasn’t fair. I don’t believe any of those things. Well, I did at first. He was quite rude to me after Luke’s accident and treated me like it was my fault. I guess it was, in some ways, but he really twisted the knife. He’s been... We’ve been fine since then, except just now in my room.”
Laura was silent for a moment, apparently digesting that barrage of information. Finally she spoke with that calm common sense Caidy loved about her.
“I’ve had the chance over the past few weeks while he’s been staying at the inn to talk with Mrs. Michaels,” she said. “She’s told me a few things about Ben’s situation. More than she probably should have, probably. Take it easy on the man, okay? He’s been through a rough few years. His wife’s death was horrible apparently.”
“He told me she died of complications from diabetes.”
“Did he also tell you she was pregnant at the time?”
“No. Oh, no.”
Laura nodded. “Apparently she went into a diabetic coma while she was driving and crashed into a tree. Their baby died along with her. It was a miracle Ava and Jack weren’t in the car too. They were with their grandparents.”
Those poor children. And poor Ben. If she felt bad before about what she had said, now she felt about a zillion times worse.
“According to Mrs. Michaels, his late wife’s parents blame him for their daughter and grandchild’s death and have done all they can to drive Ava and Jack away from him. That’s the main reason he came here, I believe. To put some distance between them and try salvaging his family.”
She paused and squeezed Caidy’s arm. “I think he could really use a friend.”
She had never considered herself a petty person before but she was beginning to discover otherwise. So what if the man regretted kissing her? So her pride was bruised. She tried to be a good person most of the time. Couldn’t she look past that and be that friend Laura was talking about?
“Thanks for telling me. I’ll...figure out a way to apologize. But not right now, okay? Right now I have a dozen people to feed.”
Laura hugged her. “I know you will. Apologize, I mean. You’re a good person, Caidy. Someone I’m pleased to call my sister. I just have one more question and it’s an important one. I want you to think long and hard before you answer me.”
She felt more than a little trepidation. “What’s that?”
“Besides being arrogant and rude, how is our Dr. Caldwell in the kissing department?”
Despite everything, she gave a strained laugh. “Let me put it this way. Luke wasn’t the only one having trouble breathing last night.”
Laura grinned at her, which gave her a little burst of courage. Enough, at least, that she could draw in a deep breath, pick up the platter with the roast beef slices and head out into the other room with squared shoulders to face what just might be the most embarrassing meal of her life.
* * *
Dinner wasn’t quite the ordeal she had feared.
By the time she reached the table, the only seat left was at the opposite end of the table from Ben, between Ridge at the head and Destry. Good. She needed a little space from Ben while she tried to figure out how she could possibly face the man after making a complete idiot of herself over him, again and again.
He was deep in conversation with her brothers and Becca when she sat down, and he didn’t look in her direction, much to her relief. After Ridge said grace, blessing the food and welcoming their guests to the ranch, various conversations flowed around her. Caidy moved her food around in silence, for the most part, until Destry, Gabi and Ava enlisted her opinion about how old she was when she started wearing makeup.
She didn’t wear much now unless she was dressing up for something. “I think I was about thirteen or fourteen before I wore anything but lip gloss. You’ve got a few years to go, girls.”
“I’m ready now,” Gabi declared.
“Me too,” Destry chimed in.
“My grandma let me keep some eye makeup and lip stuff at her house when we lived in California,” Ava said. “I could only put it on while I was there or when we went shopping or out to lunch. I had to wash it off before I left so my dad didn’t freak, which was totally stupid.”
Destry looked slightly appalled at the idea of keeping makeup—or anything else—from her father. “I could never do that!”
“My grandma said it was okay.”
In the mode of adults sticking together, Caidy gave the three girls a mild look. “Here’s a pretty good rule—if you can’t wear it, taste it or say it in front of your dad, you probably shouldn’t wear it, taste it or say it when he’s not there.”
“Agreed.” Ridge interjected into the conversation. “You hear that, Des?”
The three girls giggled and started talking about something from school, leaving Caidy’s mind to follow the conversation between the twins and Ben at the other end of the table.
“So, Dr. Caldwell, how are you finding Pine Gulch?” Trace was asking.
“Ben. Please, call me Ben. We’re enjoying living here so far. The town seems to be filled with very kind people. For the most part anyway.”
He didn’t look in her direction when he spoke but she cringed anyway, certain his pointed barb was aimed at her.
“It’s the least part you have to worry about,” Taft said with a wink. “I could name a few people in town whose bad side you want to stay far clear of. I’m sure Trace knows a few more on the law enforcement side. We’ve got our share of bad customers.”
“I’m sure you do,” Ben murmured. “Rude, arrogant jerks.”
“You better believe it,” Taft said.
Becca quickly cleared her throat. “Uh, can you pass the potatoes?” she asked Ben.
“Sure, if there are any left.” He picked up the bowl Caidy always served the mashed potatoes in, the flower-lined earthenware that had always been one of her mother’s favorites.
For the first time since she sat down, he looked in her direction, though his gaze was focused somew
here above her head. “Everything is really delicious,” he said. “Isn’t that right, Ava? Jack?”
“Supergood,” Jack said. He had a smudge of gravy on his cheek and looked absolutely adorable. “Can I have another roll? Ooh, with jam! I love strawberries.”
Ben grabbed one of her cloverleaf rolls and spread some of her jam on it. When he handed it to his son, Jack gobbled it in three bites, smearing red along with the gravy. Ben shook his head, picked up his napkin and dabbed at the mess on Jack’s face. She watched out of the corner of her gaze as those big hands that had held her close attended to his child, and something soft and warm unfurled inside her chest.
He looked up at just that moment and caught her watching. Their gazes held for one long, charged moment while the conversation flowed around them. Then Ridge asked him another question and he looked away, breaking the connection.
He and his children fit in well with the family. Taft’s stepson, Alex, and Jack seemed like two peas in a proverbial pod, with Maya attending closely to their every word, and Gabi and Des had been quick to absorb Ava into their circle.
This was only temporary, she reminded herself. After the holidays, he would take his cute kids and his friendly housekeeper and move into the big house he was building. In a matter of days, he would be just a peripheral figure in her world. He wouldn’t even be that if she didn’t need to take one of the dogs for the occasional visit to the veterinarian.
She should be relieved about that, she told herself. Not glum.
“I love that painting over the fireplace,” Ben said into a temporary lull of the conversation. “I see the artist’s last name is Bowman. Any relation?”
The rest of the table fell silent—even the children. Nobody seemed willing to jump in to answer him except Ridge.
“Yes,” her oldest brother finally said. “She is a relation. She was our mother.”
Ben glanced around the table, obviously picking up on the sudden shift in mood.
“I’ll admit, I don’t know much about art, but I find that piece striking. I don’t know if it’s the horses in the foreground or the mountains or the fluttery curtains in the window of the old cabin but every time I look away for a few moments, something draws me back. That’s real talent.”
Her heart warmed a little at his praise of their mother’s talent. “She was brilliant,” Caidy murmured.
He looked at her and she saw an unexpected compassion in his eyes. Seeing it made her feel even more guilty. She didn’t deserve compassion from him, not after her mean words.
“Several of her paintings were stolen eleven years ago,” Trace said. “Since then, we’ve done our best to recover what we can. We’ve had investigators tracking some of them down. This one was located about three years ago in a gallery in the Sonoma area of California.”
“It was always Caidy’s favorite,” Ridge put in. “Finding it again was something of a miracle.”
This shifted all attention to her again and she squirmed. Did anybody besides Laura and Becca pick up the tension in the room? She doubted it. Her brothers usually were oblivious to social currents and the kids were too busy eating and talking and having fun. Just as they should be.
To her relief, Laura—sweet, wonderful Laura—stepped up to deflect attention. “So, Dr. Caldwell, you and your children are coming along on the sleigh ride after dinner, aren’t you?”
“Sleigh ride!” Jack exclaimed and he and Alex, best buddies now, did a cute little high-five maneuver.
Ben watched them ruefully. “I don’t know. I kind of feel like we’ve intruded enough on your family.”
“Oh, you have to come,” Destry exclaimed.
“Yes!” Gabi joined her. “It’s going to be awesome! We’re going to sing Christmas carols and have hot chocolate and everything. Oh, please, come with us!”
If things weren’t so funky between them right now, she would have told him he was fighting a losing battle. One man simply couldn’t fight the combined efforts of the Bowmans and their progeny, adopted or otherwise.
“We’re not going far,” Ridge promised. “Only a couple miles up the canyon. Probably shouldn’t take more than an hour.”
“Resistance is futile,” Taft said with a grin. “You might as well give in gracefully.”
Ben laughed. “In that case, sure. Okay.”
The kids shrieked with excitement. Caidy wished she could share even a tiny smidgen of their enthusiasm. The only bright spot for her in the whole thing was that Ben’s presence probably eliminated the need for her to go along. Ridge couldn’t claim they didn’t have enough adults now. She would just offer an excuse to stay at the house and let the rest of them have all the Christmas fun.
She was still going to have to figure out a way to apologize to the man, but at this point she would take any reprieve she could find, however temporary.
Chapter Nine
After dinner had been cleared, the girls’ other friends began arriving. Caidy threw in the trays of cookies she and Destry had readied, her brothers headed out to hitch up the big draft horses to the hay wagon and everyone else began donning winter gear. After the cookies came out, Caidy walked through the house gathering all the blankets she could find.
As she headed down the stairs with an armload of blankets, she saw through the big windows that the snow had eased and was only falling now in slow, puffy flakes. Moonlight had peeked behind the storm clouds, turning everything a pearlescent midnight-blue.
It was stunning enough from here. She could only imagine how beautiful it would be to ride through the night on the wagon, with the cold air in her face and the sound of children’s laughter swirling through the night.
She was almost sorry she wasn’t going with them. Almost.
She continued down the stairs, doing her best to avoid making eye contact with Ben, who was helping Jack into his boots.
“Sleigh ride. Sleigh ride. Sleigh ride,” Maya chanted, wiggling her hips that were bundled up along with the rest of her in a very cute pink snowsuit with splashy orange flowers.
Caidy couldn’t help laughing. “You’re going to have a wonderful time, little bug,” she said, kissing Maya’s nose. She loved all of the children in her family but sweet, vulnerable Maya held a special place in her heart.
“You come,” Maya said, reaching for her hand.
“Oh, honey. I’m not going. I’ll be here when you get back.”
“What do you mean, you’re not going? You have to come,” Ridge said sternly. “Where’s your coat?”
“In the closet. Where it’s staying. I figured somebody needs to stay here. Keep the home fire burning and all that.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Becca said from underneath Trace’s arm. “I’ve got that covered.”
For the first time, Caidy realized her sister-in-law wasn’t wearing a coat either.
“Why aren’t you going?” Ridge asked, looking even more disgruntled.
“I’m planning to sit this one out. I have court tomorrow and some work to do before then. And, to be honest, I’m not sure being bounced around on a hay wagon right now would be the best thing for, well, for the baby.”
For a moment everyone stared at her. Even the girls who had come for Gabi’s little sleigh ride party stopped their giggly chatter.
“Baby? You’re having a baby?” Laura exclaimed.
Becca nodded and Trace hugged her more tightly, then kissed the top of her head, clearly a proud papa.
“When?” Caidy asked, thrilled for both of them.
“June,” Gabi declared proudly. “I’ve been dying to tell everyone! I kept my mouth shut, see, Trace? You said I couldn’t. Ha!”
Her brother laughed and grabbed his wife’s sister with his free arm, pulling her into their shared embrace. “You did good, kid. We were going to tell everyone at dinner but the right moment never quite came.”
“There’s never a wrong moment for that kind of great news,” Ridge said. “Congratulations. Another Bowman. Just what the world n
eeds.”
The next few moments were spent with hugs and kisses and good wishes all the way around. Even Ben shook both of their hands and kissed Becca’s cheek, though he had just met her that afternoon.
She suddenly remembered with a pang that he had lost a child when his wife died. Was this spontaneous celebration of impending parenthood difficult for him? If it was, he didn’t show it by his manner.
Now Maya’s chant changed to “baby, baby, baby,” but she didn’t lose the hip wiggle. Caidy hugged her too. “It’s wonderful news, isn’t it? You’ll have a new cousin.”
“I like cousins,” Maya said.
“Me too, bug.”
When Caidy finally worked her way around the crowd, she hugged Becca. “I can’t wait to be an aunt again. I’m thrilled for both of you.”
Becca hugged her back. “Thank you, my dear.”
“All the more reason I should stay here and keep you company, just in case you need anything.”
Becca gave her a knowing look. “You’re the soul of helpfulness, Caidy. Either that, or you’re trying to avoid a certain rude, arrogant veterinarian.”
She cringed at the reminder. “Well, there is that.”
“Sorry, hon. I’d like to help you out but I think Ridge probably needs your help corralling all those kids. Besides that, I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep avoiding him.”
“Am I that obvious?” she asked ruefully.
“A little bit. Probably Laura and I were the only ones who picked up on it. And maybe Ben.”
Caidy blew out a breath. Drat. Becca was right. Ridge probably did need her help. “I hate being a coward,” she murmured.
“It’s only a sleigh ride. An hour out of your life. You can handle that. You’ve been through much worse.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“I could use a little quiet, if you want the truth. Go, Caidy.”
“As exciting as this news is, we need to get this show on the road,” Ridge declared, as if on cue. “Let’s load up.”
The girls squealed loudly. Maya covered her ears with her mittened hands, wearing a look of alarm.
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