“She is and I will not lose her. Nothing good comes from having secrets.”
“I get it. Your fiancée and your friend sleeping together is a load of crap by anyone’s definition, but dial back on the demands and get rid of the accusatory tone.”
“You obviously have not told her anything about what happened during your residency.” And he never would. Sleeping with his friend wasn’t the worst of what Brooke Tyler had done.
“Brooke is my past. I will not talk with you or anyone else about what happened.”
“Okay, let’s talk about something more pressing. Has Ava met your family?”
Logan served an icy glare in Graham’s direction. “Not yet. She will.”
“If she hasn’t met your family, then she doesn’t know about Rebecca. Who’s really keeping secrets here, Logan?”
“She never asks me anything. I met her family less than twenty-four hours after our first date. Her family doesn’t care about my money or political connections. Neither does she, she asks for nothing in return. I’ve never been with a woman like Ava. I know she’s with me, we are doing the relationship song and dance, but I can feel barrier between us. She regards what we have together like a placeholder in her life. I don’t understand.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he took in a deep breath, releasing it with a heavy sigh of frustration.
“Have you asked her,” Graham inquired? Logan shook his head in denial.
“You know the saying don’t ask the question if you really don’t want the answer. Ava keeps our relationship in a vacuum-sealed jar. Separate from everything.” Blowing out a breath, he ran his fingers through his hair. A blaring horn had him flinching. The city was awake now. The Saturday morning cruisers littered the streets looking for parking places or were already double-parked.
“I need to know she is connected to me. She is pulling against our bond. Ava wants what’s happening between us, but I can’t shake the feeling I’m going to lose her.” Graham offered him a skeptical look.
“What? I’m making this up?”
“Are you? I mean you just met her. Is she that in to you?”
Logan’s head pounded. Why wasn’t he enough? He needed her to want him, need him. Not because he was a surgeon, not because of the money, and definitely not because of a business alliance.
“It’s not a figment of my imagination, Graham. I know when a woman wants me.” Logan’s voice was rough with indignation. Yes, Brooke’s betrayal had done a number on him, but what he had with Ava was real.
“You have some serious repair work to do when you get home.” Pity crossed Graham’s face before he shook his head and lengthened his stride.
“You finish the run. I’m going to catch up to Ava. I’ll see you back at the house.” What was he going to say when he caught up to her?
The sidewalk that ran the length of historic Avondale was filled with morning shoppers and browsers. Couples in coordinated athletic gear sat at outdoor bistro tables drinking signature coffees. Every blue haired, southern lady within a three-mile radius was on the sidewalk with a teacup dog. The run back to the house would be slower.
“I’m not about to miss you groveling at Ava’s feet.” They turned in unison, their steps double timed in the direction Ava had gone.
Logan scanned the early morning shoppers dotting the sidewalk. “She’s fast. Do you see her?”
“No, she’s not on this block. She’s jackrabbit fast if she can turn on this type of speed after running four miles. How young is she?”
“You too?”
“Me too what? What you are talking about?”
“Ava and her family are kind of sensitive about our age difference. They haven’t said anything since our first meeting, but I get the sense that they are on high alert in case the old geezer goes crazy on their daughter. The first direct question Ava asked of me was my age.”
“What’s her story?”
“I wish I knew. She’s doesn’t share much about her past, but I have my suspicions.”
They sped up in hopes of catching Ava.
Logan was the first to spot her cinnamon colored locks swaying in the wind.
“There she is on the far side of The Coffee House.” Logan lengthened his stride. “I’ll see you back at the house.”
It seemed as if the wind itself propelled her forward. She was running away, rather than towards his home. She was running from him.
Just as Logan was extending a hand to touch her shoulder, Ava darted between two parked cars and started across the street. The car, he saw it like a director clipping a film reel for effect, as Ava ran directly into the path of the oncoming vehicle.
Logan bellowed her name just as she screamed. He could hear the screech of the tires, smell the burnt rubber on the asphalt.
“No,” heartbeat thrashing in his ears, a primal roar in his head, his legs burned as he charged every muscle fiber in his body to move faster.
Dear God, let me reach her in time.
He pushed off with all his strength forcing his body through the air.
She stood frozen at the intersection as Logan came down at her back, throwing them both into the grass covered median at the last second, rotating he took the brunt of the impact from the fall. Her tremors, increasing in seismic intensity, ricocheted through him. Tears streamed unbridled down her face.
“I have you, sweetheart. You are safe.” She shook uncontrollably. He needed to get her home.
“Ava.” Her head fell back, her sports top was drenched in tears. “Ava talk to me.”
She would not open her eyes. He tried to soothe her, but nothing worked. Terrified and feeling useless, he squeezed her tighter.
Just then, Graham ran to his side. “I saw what happened. Is she okay?”
Logan didn’t answer. His focus was on the frightened woman in his arms. “Sweetheart, I am going to pick you up.” She offered no words, just squeezed her eyes tighter, refusing to open them.
“Ava, please. Say something.”
“I think she’s in shock and you’re shaking.” Graham fashioned a cradle with his arms. “Give her to me.”
“I can carry her.”
“Logan you are in no condition.”
Logan rose to his feet. He stood with Ava lifted high on his chest. His biceps pillowed her head as she cried. Her body was so rigid he felt she might shatter if he jostled her.
This was his fault. His actions, forced her to leave his side. She wanted to escape. He had almost killed the woman he wanted more than his next breath.
What would she see when she looked at him? Ava’s hand gripped and released the material of his shirt. Her hand moved again, this time it didn’t halt. Rather she slowly moved back and forth against his chest. He realized she was trying to comfort him. He briefly closed his eyes placing a delicate kiss on her head.
“You are more than precious to me Ava. I am so sorry.” She still sobbed, but they were quieter now, her hand continued to rub his chest. Logan kept his face expressionless afraid he would crumble if he looked anywhere but straight ahead. She hadn’t said a single word to him.
The somber trio walked the length of Logan’s driveway entering the house through the side door. He placed her on the couch in the den, pulling the afghan from the headrest to cover her. Seeing Ava sobbing because of his actions nearly brought him to his knees. Instead of protecting her, he had shoved her in harm’s way. When Ava needed him most, he had failed her.
Giving one long look at Ava, Logan exited the den and joined Graham by the side entry door.
“Masters, you are too quiet. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“She was running from me.”
“I just met her, but that’s not how she will see what happened.”
“You and I both know the truth. She was trying to get away from me. I am the reason she was almost killed.”
“If she felt that way, she would not have been in your arms.”
Logan heard her soft sniffle from the den. Someth
ing akin to relief washed over him.
Graham was hesitant as he spoke. “I can drive the both of you to an urgent care? A mild sedative will help her relax.”
“No. I will take care of Ava. You can go.” Graham gave his shoulder a brief hold in support before moving in the direction of the door.
“Go back in there and take care of your woman. Call me if you need anything.” How had the morning turned into such a mess?
From the doorway, Logan took in the fragile woman curled protectively in a ball on his couch and his heart constricted. He would not lose her. He crossed the room and scooped her up into his arms. Logan never took his eyes from Ava as he cradled her back in his embrace. He held her in silence as long as he could. He needed to know she was okay.
“Sweetheart, please say something. I am coming unglued. You can rail at me. Punch me. I do not care. I just want to hear your voice. Know that you are okay. Please.”
She sniffled. “I don’t want to run with you anymore.” Once again, she took him by surprise with the unexpected. “You are a terrible running buddy. You talk too much.”
“That is all you have to say? That I am a lousy running partner, after I almost got you killed?”
“I almost got myself killed, not you.”
“No way, this is my fault, you were trying to put distance between us. You ran away because I was being a jerk.” She was trying to defend him. There was no way he would allow her to shoulder the responsibility for what almost happened.
“You were being that, but it’s not your fault I almost got pancaked by a car.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Logan, I can’t argue with you about why we both almost got hit and killed. You shouldn’t have jumped in front of a speeding car to save me. You could have been hurt.”
“You can’t be serious. I would jump in front of a thousand bullet trains to save you. Don’t you understand your worth to me?”
She didn’t respond to his question. He was sure of his feelings for her. His confession caused a warm sensation to form in his chest. He couldn’t deny what he felt for Ava any longer. She was a part of his soul. She had captured him in her spell, made him vulnerable, but when he looked at her none of that mattered.
“The truth is my inattention put us both in harm’s way, Logan.”
He looked at her in disbelief. She spared his feelings. “Do not try to spare me a guilty conscience. Let’s not talk about this anymore. I think I should put you to bed.”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“I can fix that.” He picked her up, pulled in a deep breath, pushing her honeyed scent to the four corners of his soul. Quieting the fear and the helplessness he felt at almost losing her. He knew in that moment he could never be without her. He loved Ava.
It had been a week since the near death experience. Logan was struggling to contain his yearning and frustration. Though he had not made love to Ava, he’d become accustomed to her sleeping beside him. Something she had avoided since the running incident. The events of that day had changed them. Not them, her. She still cooked, but always made an excuse to get back to her house.
Logan felt uncertain and exposed. He didn’t care for the feeling. Ava’s workday generally ended three hours before his. But today he had left the hospital an hour early. She’d be in his arms in a matter of minutes. They would have dinner together and he would talk her into staying with him. He smiled to himself at the thought of Ava gracing his sheets tonight.
Chapter 11
Logan maneuvered the Lexus sedan into the garage of his Avondale address and his mood immediately darkened. Ava’s Jeep was not in the second parking space. Not bothering to exit the car, he dialed her cell phone number, before engaging the hands free communication link on the steering wheel controls. “Hello” was all she said before the line went silent.
“Is everything okay?” Don’t crush the butterfly. Graham’s words replayed in his head. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t jump period. Keep a chain around the testosterone.
“Yes Logan, everything is fine.” If everything was fine she should have been at home waiting for him. Hands gripping the braided leather wheel, blanched knuckles, he struggled to keep his voice level.
“Where are you?” he said through clenched teeth. Errands, shopping any number of innocuous activities could have delayed her commute home. She could be en route at this very minute, back to him.
“I’m at home.” He heard her take a breath. Silence again.
“I am at home Ava and you are not here.” A lie. The first link in the chain snapped, he felt his control slip.
“Logan I have my own house.” Second chain link snapped, ignited the matchstick that lit the flame. Remember she’s the butterfly. I am in control. He continued with caution, unsure what to expect.
“How long before you’re back here?” A reasonable relationship question he thought.
She didn’t respond. “Ava?” It hit him with the force of a steel beam to the gut. She was widening the distance. The plan was not to come back. She’d left his bed, now she’d left his house. If he didn’t put a stop to this, she would leave his life. Control gone.
In a low, steely voice Logan said, “I am coming for you. Be there Ava.” Or crap was going to hit the proverbial fan. But he did not say that aloud. “Do not make me chase you.”
Logan peeled out of the garage. Hearing the screech of the tires as he left his driveway, he pressed the gas pedal delivering more power than necessary. An unfamiliar tightness filled his chest as he navigated the back streets to where Ava lived.
Even though Logan’s home was farther away from the hospital they usually stayed at his house. His remodeled 19th century colonial had a larger kitchen, which Ava loved and an indoor gym complete with mirrored walls and mounted flat screen televisions on each wall. Ten minutes later Logan turned off the ignition in front of Ava’s bungalow style home. He was prepared to use his key to the front door when the side door by the carport opened.
Ava stood in the doorway looking adorable in orange boy shorts and a green t-shirt with the Florida A&M University Rattler in the center. Her dainty feet with red polished toes, set off with a delicate yellow gold anklet sparkled in the sunlight.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding until he reached her and locked in on her intoxicating scent, vanilla, honey and something uniquely her.
She reached for him and he bent his six foot two inch frame to meet her five foot four inches, he angled her face upward capturing her mouth and pushing deep between her lips.
He plundered her mouth holding until he had to take a breath. He pulled back, guiding her into the small kitchen and stepped fully through the door closing it behind him.
She turned to walk away and he snaked his arm around her waist hauling her back to his body.
“Ava, what are you doing here?”
She looked down at the floor and did not answer his question.
“Please look at me,” he said lifting her chin. “Answer me.”
It was a demand. When it came to them staying together he wouldn’t give her an option to leave.
Finally she said, “I wanted to come home, that’s all.”
“We have a home, together. What has changed between us that you need to distance yourself from me?” This was not how he saw their night together unfolding.
“We shouldn’t be together.”
He rocked back on his heels. Her words, a physical blow that threatened to topple him.
“Why are you saying this, now? We are together. That is not changing. What’s the reason that has you trying to end our relationship?” There had to be more than the incident last week fueling her actions. She wasn’t telling him something important.
“This,” he felt her slender fingers curl against his dress shirt, “should never have happened.” He didn’t think she was aware of how tight she was holding on to him. She’d narrowed the distance between them, stroking his skin as she spoke. The comfort offered by the
action was contrary to her words. The action spoke louder.
Encouraged by her fierce grip, he proceeded cautiously with his next question.
“You are trying to keep us apart. Why?” When her lips moved to answer he stroked his thumb across her lips. Her eyes slid to half-mast. “If it’s because of the job, or the board position or what happened with Randall I won’t accept it.” He took her chin and tilted her face up. Their eyes met. “Now, tell me why you don’t want me.”
Ava was unable to utter the words that would send them in separate directions. Logan had pressed his advantage and she had surrendered. Considering she hadn’t mounted a fight, surrender was probably a poor word choice. The addiction to him was stronger than her self-preservation skills. But her foolish heart was too busy falling for him to care. And he recognized her dilemma. When she couldn’t voice the words, he took that to mean their relationship was full steam ahead. Powerless when it came to him, she’d unabashedly stumbled on two achy feet back into his open arms.
Weeks had passed since the, we shouldn’t be together fiasco, but Logan was more vigilant now that ever. His mini mansion served as relationship headquarters. His territory. His terms. He stood as sentry determined to keep her from escape. The state of their relationship chafed, because truth was, she didn’t want to leave Logan. Trust seemed to be an elusive target for both of them. In some ways, Logan was just as wounded as she was. Not that she knew why.
Ava soon discovered Logan was on a mission. He’d orchestrated events to meet every person of remote significance in her contact list. Run dates today, buying lunch for all the nurses tomorrow. Charm, attentiveness and free food had every nurse giggling the moment he walked on the pediatric unit. He’d even talked her mother into planting a garden in his backyard. Logan had given her mother a key to his house, so she could map the garden at her leisure. He was intrusive, overprotective, and loyal and she was crazy for him.
When Janna came home for one week of leave for her birthday, Logan took the day off work to help her shop for the party. The two of them were instant best buds. The woman actually enjoyed watching ESPN, while most women Ava knew feigned interest. Playing pool and hitting the gym five days a week were a part of Janna’s routine. She was the perfect man’s man, except she was a woman. Thanks to Janna. Two weeks after her departure, Ava was sprawled across Logan’s chest watching Sports Center on a Friday night. The light from the eighty-five inch LCD screen illuminated the darkened room casting a sensual shadow over Logan’s features.
Chasing Ava: A Bachelor of Shell Cove Novel (The Bachelors of Shell Cove) Page 14