Mitch couldn’t help taking a frank survey of Lynn. Her complexion was even paler than usual, and there was no mistaking the worry in her eyes. He’d known her practically since grade school, had a brief, though intense, unrequited crush on her in seventh grade, but it had been all about Ed for her, even back then. Over the years they’d both moved on, and rarely saw each other except in passing.
“Everything okay, Lynn?” he asked quietly, leaning in close so the others at the table wouldn’t overhear.
She smiled, but it looked forced to him. He remembered how her carefree laughter had once reminded him of the joyous sound of church bells pealing. He hadn’t heard that sound in a long time. Looked to him as if she didn’t have much to laugh about these days, not with the divorce he’d heard about still pending.
“Everything’s fine,” she said, but despite her effort, the lie didn’t sound convincing.
Mitch glanced around the table and noted that both Lexie and Jeremy were eating as if they hadn’t had a meal in days. Thinking again about the toll divorce could take, he wondered just how tough times were for Lynn. He’d heard plenty of rumors about her husband taking off every few weeks on various trips and wondered if that was having an impact on Lynn’s finances. Just the thought of the man gallivanting around while his family suffered was enough to twist Mitch’s stomach into knots. He told himself he’d have felt the same way even if he didn’t have a few fond memories of the woman.
Then, again, maybe just because of those memories, he was seeing trouble where there was none. Wouldn’t be the first time his imagination had run wild. He seemed to be the kind of man who was always looking for someone to help.
After dinner he lingered until the Morrows were ready to head home, then walked out with them. It was pitch-dark outside and there was no light burning at home.
“Why don’t I walk up the path with you?” he suggested. “It’s pretty dark out here.”
“Oh, I just forgot to leave on the outside light,” Lynn said, but the embarrassed nervousness in her voice suggested otherwise. “I think it’s burned out anyway.”
“Let me check it for you,” Mitch offered.
“That’s okay. I know I’m out of spare bulbs. They’re on the shopping list, but I keep forgetting them.”
He heard the claim for what it was, another face-saving lie.
“No problem. I always have extras in the truck.” He walked over and grabbed one out of the back before she could object, then crossed the yard. “If you’re going to be out at night, you’ll need this,” he said as he quickly removed the old bulb and screwed in the replacement. “Even in Serenity, it’s important to take safety precautions.”
“I know,” Lynn said. Then, as if it were costing her considerable pride, she managed to mutter, “Thanks.”
“Not a problem. If you ever need anything done around here, let me know. For the next couple of months or so, I’ll be at Raylene’s every day. I’d be happy to help out. No charge, of course. Just a neighborly gesture between old friends.”
Lynn gave him a wan smile. “I appreciate that, but we’re managing okay.”
Mitch understood pride all too well. He merely nodded. “Well, the offer’s on the table, if anything comes up. Don’t hesitate, okay?”
“Thanks. Good night, Mitch.” She hesitated, then added, “I know I should have let you know when the accident happened, but I was real sorry to hear about Amy. Losing her must have been hard for you and your sons.”
He nodded. “She was a good woman. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. It’s been a year now, and I still walk in the house some nights and call out to her.” He shrugged. “They say that will pass.”
She touched his arm briefly. “They, whoever they are, say a lot of things, but I think it’s mostly because they don’t want to say that loss of any kind really sucks.”
“Yeah,” he admitted, “it really does. Good night, Lynn.”
The kids had gone inside right away and now she hurried after them. Mitch stood where he was, staring after her.
Something wasn’t right here. Anyone could see that. But he understood the need to reclaim independence after a blow. He also knew that it was a woman’s natural tendency to protect her kids at all costs. If Lynn needed help badly enough for their sake, she’d turn to anyone who offered a helping hand. And if she ever asked, he’d be right there. Somebody needed to fix the unmistakable sorrow and fear that never seemed to leave her eyes.
And he, more than he’d realized, needed a project. Maybe, he thought, they might actually need each other.
* * *
“Raylene’s lasagna is the best,” Jeremy murmured sleepily when Lynn went to check on him before bed. “How come you don’t cook like that anymore?”
“There’s not enough time in the day,” Lynn told him.
“But Raylene works, too, and she does it,” he persisted.
She knew her ten-year-old couldn’t possibly understand how uncomfortable this entire conversation was making her, but it was hard to resist the desire to snap. “Tell me what you miss most and I’ll make it for you soon,” she promised.
“Steak and baked potatoes,” he said at once. “That was Dad’s favorite, too.”
And way beyond their current budget, Lynn thought wearily. Somehow, though, she would make it happen.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Tomorrow?” he pressed excitedly.
“Not tomorrow, but soon,” she said firmly, sighing at the unmistakable disappointment in his eyes. “Now go to sleep. You have school in the morning. Did you study for your history test?”
He gave her a shrug. “Enough.”
Which meant, she feared, not at all. Why hadn’t she sat down with him immediately after dinner and gone over the information with him the way she used to?
Because she’d been trying to figure out how to make that paltry $24.35 last another week, she thought angrily, while her soon-to-be-ex was off dining on steak himself, no doubt.
“I’m getting you up a half hour early,” she told Jeremy. “We’ll go over the material together.”
“Mom!” he muttered with a dramatic groan.
“And don’t even think about faking a stomachache or a sore throat or an earache, you hear me?” She leaned down and gave him a noisy kiss that had him giggling, despite the required protest that he was too old for such displays of affection.
Leaving her son, she tapped on Lexie’s door. “Still studying?”
To her dismay, Lexie looked up from the book she’d apparently been pretending to read, her cheeks streaked with tears. “I miss Daddy,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, but I do.”
Lynn sat down beside her on the bed and gathered her into her arms. “You don’t ever have to be sorry about missing your father,” she assured her.
“But it must make you sad when I say that,” Lexie said knowingly. “I know how hard you’re trying to make everything seem normal.”
Lynn managed a smile for her daughter. She sometimes wondered if faking a smile would get easier with practice, but so far it hadn’t.
“I think it’s obvious that things aren’t normal and no amount of pretending is going to change that.” She tucked a finger under Lexie’s chin. “Now look at me. You love your dad and, despite what’s happened between the two of us, I know he loves you. I will never stand in the way of that.”
“Then how come he hasn’t been around for so long?”
Lynn sighed. �
��I wish I could explain your father’s actions, but I can’t. Maybe he’s been extra busy at work.”
“I tried his cell phone, but it went to voice mail, and Noelle in his office said he’s away,” Lexie said, proving that she’d gone as close to the source as she could get for answers. “She sounded kinda funny when I called, so I don’t think it’s on business. Do you know where he went?”
Lynn didn’t want to explain about the golf trip to Lexie. Lexie was feeling unimportant enough as it was. Besides, Lynn didn’t know for sure. Rumors were always rampant in Serenity. Only some of them proved to be true.
“Not really,” she told her daughter, whose tears were finally drying up, though the stricken expression on her face was still there. “Why don’t I see what I can find out tomorrow, so you’ll know when he’s due home. Will that help?”
Lexie nodded. “You know what I don’t get? How can I still miss him so much, when I’m so mad at him?”
Lynn allowed herself a small and this time genuine smile at the very complex question. Hadn’t she wondered the exact same thing herself more than once? As furious as she was at Ed most of the time these days, there were moments when the thought of never having his arms around her again made her want to weep.
“Relationships are complicated, sweetie. Love doesn’t go away just because someone’s done something to disappoint you. You know how mad I get when Jeremy drinks milk right out of the carton or when you leave damp towels all over the bathroom floor?” She tickled Lexie. “I still love you.”
“Or what about when you tell me ten times to clean up my room?” Lexie asked, getting into the spirit of the teasing. “I get annoyed, but I still love you.”
“Or when you deliberately disobey me no matter how many times I tell you you’re not allowed to have a snack right before dinner?” Lynn said.
Unfortunately, that one caused Lexie’s grin to fade. “Like there’s anything here to have for a snack these days.”
Once again, Lynn felt the weight of every bit of unanticipated fallout from the divorce. There were the huge things, like Ed not being around when the kids needed him or the mortgage payments being late again and again. And there were the seemingly trivial ones like this, no after-school snacks. Added together she felt as if she’d failed her kids. No matter how much she wanted to lay all the blame squarely at Ed’s feet, she couldn’t. She was their mom. She should be finding a way to provide for her children. Going to work for Raylene had been a start, but it obviously wasn’t enough, not when Ed wasn’t holding up his end of the bargain.
She vowed right then to take on a second job, even if it meant frying burgers at one of the new fast-food restaurants outside of town, anything to put an end to the dismay of seeing her children suffer because of decisions she and Ed had made.
“I’m sorry,” Lexie whispered. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean.”
“It was the truth,” Lynn said, then added with determination, “but not for long.”
Lexie regarded her hopefully. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ll find a better job, one with more hours. Or another part-time job,” Lynn said.
“Maybe I could get some babysitting jobs,” Lexie offered eagerly.
“I appreciate your wanting to do that, but I’d like you to be a little older before you take on that kind of responsibility,” Lynn said. “Right now your job is to get great grades so you can get into whatever college you’d like to go to. I want you and Jeremy to have the most amazing futures you can possibly have, and you’ll need college degrees for that.”
“You always say that,” Lexie protested, as yet unconcerned about the importance of winning a scholarship if she expected to get into a terrific school. She was focused on the here and now. “Lots of kids my age babysit. You let me stay with Jeremy.”
“He’s ten and he’s your brother,” Lynn reminded her. “It’s not quite the same thing as taking care of a baby or a toddler.”
“What if I took the babysitting certification class at the community center? Then could I?” She gave Lynn a pleading look. “Please. I want to help out.”
“If you do that and pass the course, then we’ll see. But this will be for your savings and your spending money, okay? It’s not up to you to chip in for expenses around here.”
Lexie threw her arms around Lynn. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll sign up tomorrow. I already know lots of people who need babysitters. The minute I pass the class, I’m going to hand out flyers.”
Lynn smiled at her enthusiasm, wishing she could muster up that same level of excitement for her own job hunt. “Okay, my little entrepreneur. For now get some sleep. Love you.”
“Love you, Mom.”
Lynn turned out the light on her way out the door, but the second she was gone, Lexie flipped it back on. Lynn smiled, knowing exactly what she was up to. She was texting Mandy the big news about taking that babysitting course. She was probably hoping to get her best friend to sign up, too.
Which Mandy would likely do, Lynn thought. Those two never did anything without the other one tagging along. It was just one more reason she intended to do everything she possibly could to stay right here in this house, so her daughter wouldn’t be ripped away from the friend who’d provided the best support system a girl Lexie’s age could possibly have.
ISBN: 9781460309681
SAND CASTLE BAY
Copyright © 2013 by Sherryl Woods
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