Tragic Desires

by A. M. Hargrove

  “Good. Stop sayin’ and start prayin’ ’cuz this is a Gem right here, Juan. So get her the fuck out of this.”

  “Got it, sir.”

  I hold my breath as he snips one and then another wire. The timer on the floor stops at eleven minutes. We smile at each other. As I reach to take the vest off Gemini, Juan says, “Whoa, not so fast, sir. Sometimes they put trigger wires on these, so hang on.” He tells Gemini to scoot forward in the chair and he looks underneath the vest and sure enough, there’s a tiny wire attached to the vest and then her dress. If the vest is pulled off, the bomb will detonate.

  “Okay, let me check this out,” Juan says.

  “Can you cut it?” I ask.

  “Not unless I know where it leads. Sometimes cutting these things will make them detonate too. Just hang tight, ma’am.” Juan looks around the room a second and spies a table. “I need her to lie down on that table so I can see where that wire leads.”

  Gemini looks up at me and I give her my hand. She stands but her legs are wobbly. “I’m shaky.”

  “I got you, babe.”

  “Sir, don’t let her fall and don’t grab her around that area.”

  We get to the table and she lies down. Juan takes a utility knife and carefully cuts into the vest, exposing the wires in the back. We see where the wire leads and he finds the terminals so he can cut them. When it’s completely disarmed, we help Gemini stand and remove the vest.

  “Juan, get all the C-4 out of that thing.” Then I turn to Gemini and pull her into my arms. “You okay, babe?”

  “Now I am. You’re sweating.”

  “Uh, yeah. My girl was just laced into a shit ton of C-4.” I kiss her. “God, Gem, are you hurt? Did those bastards hurt you? I was so damn worried and we had to wait to get in here. Shit.”

  “I’m okay, now that you’re here.”

  I run my hands over her, to let myself know she’s good. Then it hits me. The red haze of rage. “Just hang here a sec. I’ll be right back.”

  Fury washes over me so quickly. My feet carry me outside to where Huff and Blake have the scumbags lined up. I locate their so-called leader and before I can comprehend what I’m doing, my fists slam into him like a machine on repeat. Over and over I pound his face, body, anywhere I can make contact.

  “How dare you strap a fucking piece of shit bomb to her!” My men are yelling but I don’t really hear them. My engines are running but there’s no comprehension in me other than revenge. When he’s nothing but a bloody mass, I move to the next man and then the next until somewhere her voice busts through my layers of madness.

  “Drexel, stop! Please, you have to stop this! They’re not worth it. And you’re so much more than this.”

  I turn my head and her face comes into focus. Regret hammers me. My emotions fly all over the board. I want to kill those men. I want to weep with relief and I want to protect her from anything that could ever hurt her again. Tears burn trails down her cheeks and I want to wipe them away, but I can’t because my hands are stained in blood. I wrap her in my arms and kiss the tears away instead.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For this. For you seeing me do this. For not doing a better job of protecting you. For failing you. For you having to go through this. Oh God, Gem, I wanted them all dead.”

  “Failing me? You’ve never failed me. You’ve saved me when I didn’t know I needed saving and pulled me out of the worst place I’ve ever been when everyone told me there was no help for me. And here you come again, risking your life for me. How can you possibly think that you failed me? I’d be dead without you. Can we go home now?”

  “I don’t want to touch you like this.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m all bloody.”

  “I don’t give a damn.” She grabs me and kisses me. “Thank you for finding me.”

  I laugh. “The microchip. But we had to wait until we had everything we needed before we came in here guns blazing.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Oh, babe, you won’t believe it. It’s a long story. But I’ve got to make a dreaded phone call first.”

  I reach in my pocket for my phone and call my guy watching Leo. Then I have him put Leo on the phone. It’s not long before this place is swarming with government agents. After questioning both of us, they finally release us.

  “Take me home,” Gemini says. “You need a shower. You’re a mess and I could use one too.”

  THE HOT WATER pounds my skin and it feels heavenly. The relief to be in Drexel’s arms is so profound that I don’t ever want him to let me go.

  “Babe, are you okay? Physically? Did they hurt you, other than your face?” His voice drips worry.

  My face is pressed against his chest when I speak. “No. I’m fine. Oh God, Drex. When I saw you and heard your voice, I knew they were going to blow us all up. How did you know they wouldn’t?”

  “I know how they think. But I almost died when I saw that vest on you. They wanted the locations of the radioactive compounds badly enough. In their minds, they would’ve been heroes forever if they’d released dirty bombs. Of course, it would’ve been horrible. Massive loss of life. You mom was so smart, Gem. The way she hid that information. She knew what she stumbled upon was so grave that she had to do it the way she did. She trusted no one.”

  My heart aches for her and I move to bury my head in the crook of his neck.

  “What is it?”

  “I’m so sad for her. She was all alone with this huge secret. What a burden. I can’t imagine. No wonder she lived in such fear.”

  “True. She was strong, though. And your father … he died of cancer. They said he was so heartbroken after all of it went down. He had to be admitted to a psych ward and he never quite recovered. He really loved you both.”

  “Too bad he supported all this evil.” Reaching for Drex’s hand, I examine it closely. It’s quite a mess.

  “The other one is just as bad. Something came over me. I couldn’t help it.”

  “You scared me. I was worried I wouldn’t get you back.”

  “It all crashed into me … what they did to you. They hit you. Then put you in that suicide vest. I snapped. Revenge was the only thing on my mind.”

  “None of them were worth one second of your energy. Or this pain you’ll suffer because of it.” I kiss one hand and then the other. “Drex, did you really mean what you said in there?”

  “What?”

  “That you felt like you failed me?”

  “I did fail you.”

  “Don’t ever say that again. Ever. You’ve brought me back to life. So I don’t ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again.”

  “Gem, you’re the one who’s breathed life into me. You know how I said that my thoughts got all messed up because of you and that I couldn’t think clearly anymore? Well, I was wrong. You’ve made me think the way I’m supposed to think. You make me look at things in a different way. I used to approach things one-dimensionally. And that’s not life. I used to look at things simply from the physical standpoint.

  “But after I met you, things shifted. That’s when I didn’t think I had clarity anymore. But I was wrong. It was then that I got the total picture—when things became clearer. Life isn’t one-dimensional. Gem, it’s three. It’s physical, spiritual, and emotional. I didn’t simply fall in love with you. I fell into you and you breathed your life into me. You opened my heart and mind to the other two—the spiritual and emotional. You changed everything for me. It started sinking in at our first dinner, but after the bombing, I knew I was different. Then when you freaked out and left, I thought I died inside.”

  There’s something so primal about his declaration that I want to love and comfort him, but I also want to show him how much I love him in return. His words touch a place deep in my heart, I stop breathing for a moment.

  “Drex.” My hands frame his face and I kiss him, but this time, there i
s no burning urgency. I take my time and slowly explore every part of his lips and mouth, teasing and nipping at him. When his hands try to find that part of me that he knows I love, I stop him and I know how surprised he is. Instead, I lower myself to my knees and take him in my mouth. I want this to be about him. His sighs tell me he’s into it, so I keep going, but when he taps me on the head, he wants me to stop. I will give him what he wants, but not in the shower. Standing, I reach around him and turn off the water.

  The look on his face is priceless, but I only smile in return.

  “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “We’re going to dry off and then make love.”

  “Okay.”

  When we’re dry, I take his hand and pull him toward the bed. He tries to kiss me and I shake my head.

  “We’re going to do this nice and slow.”

  His brows arch. This is so not what I normally do, but today is special and I want to make this last and last. I splay my hand across his chest and push him back. He sits on the bed and grins. Gah, he looks so damn delicious, I could lick him all over.

  “What’s it gonna be, sex princess?”

  His lap looks ideal so I straddle it and lock my hands around his neck. Then I lean in for a kiss. His fingers find me and he starts to play with me. While we kiss, he has me on fire in no time.

  “You feel so fucking sweet inside. I can’t wait to have you all around me, babe.”

  I move up and he guides himself inside. I slide down and I’m in heaven, just like that. As much as I want to move fast, the appeal of slow is in my blood, so that’s what I do. And I focus on his face as we’re locked in each other’s stares, unable to look away. And why would I ever want to? He is so damn beautiful, and I love the way he looks at me. His scruff is the perfect length and when I brush my hand across it, he leans his cheek into my palm. My head dips down for a moment and I note how his muscles flex with each movement. His body is perfect. I’ll never get enough of him.

  Suddenly, he repositions me and I’m now lying on my side facing Drex. He brings my leg over his hip and moves close to me so that our noses are all but touching.

  “You’re so fucking perfect, Gem. So damn beautiful.” And he thrusts in and out in an agonizingly drawn-out manner.

  “How does this feel?”

  “Unreal,” I answer.

  “Tell me if you need more.”

  “I love you, Drex.”

  “Oh, babe, I’m gonna come. You know when you say that, it makes me come.” Then he stops moving.

  “Don’t stop. I want you to come.”

  “No. Not before you. I want to watch you climax first.”

  He pulls out and slides down so he can go down on me. “Shit, Drex.” My hands tangle in his hair as his mouth works magic on my clit. I was so close to an orgasm before, but now, hell. “Stop, Drex. I want to come with you inside me.”

  He grins as he moves back up and slides back in.

  “Yes, that’s it. I was worried I’d come with you down there.”

  “Ah, Gem.”

  He’s thrusting in and out, while working my clit with his thumb, and that does it. As soon as he feels me let go, he calls out my name and is right behind me.

  Then his mouth is on mine and he kisses me softly at first. But it grows much deeper and more meaningful than our usual kisses. He’s still deep inside me and my heart stirs with intense emotion.

  “I need you so much, Gem. I never knew what this need could be until you. I love you with my all, babe.”

  “Drex, I hope you understand just how much I love you too.”

  He brushes my hair back from my face and kisses me again. “I do. We own each other, Gem. You’re in everything I do. My thoughts, my senses. I can feel your touch on me every single minute of the day. I can taste you on my lips and tongue, even when you’re away from me. You’re such a part of me that I can’t separate myself from you anymore. And the best part of all is I don’t have to because you’re mine.” When he speaks those words, I melt.

  “You make my heart so happy when you tell me these things. And you must know that I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do right now.” I touch my lips to his.

  “I need to ask you something.”

  “What is it?”

  “Will you go with me to my parents’? I want to explain to them what happened and I’d like for you to be there.”

  “You know I will.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Drex, you know, when two people love each other, they share their hopes and dreams, along with their biggest fears. Someone I love more than anything said that to me once. You know I’ll be by your side because I know how it worries you. I’ll be with you every step of the way, holding your hand, doing whatever it is you want or need for me to do.”

  “This is one of the reasons I love you so much.”

  I laugh. “Hell, those were your words of wisdom, not mine.” I kiss the tip of his nose. “So, when do you want to see your parents? And where do they live?”

  “My dad retired a few years ago and they moved to Beaufort, South Carolina. We used to live there when he was stationed at Parris Island. I was young, so I don’t remember it much.”

  My mind spins with ideas about a possible vacation. It would be nice to get away for a few days and when we do, we could go see his parents. “How about we turn this into a little vacation?”

  “I have to tie up some loose ends here,” he says, “but yeah, that sounds awesome. Where would you like to go?”

  This is way out of my league. He needs to decide since we’ll be taking his plane.

  “I can handle that.” He has a sneaky smile on his face.

  “What?”

  “Not a thing. I’ll work something out and make the arrangements. We’ll go see my parents first and get that out of the way, and then we’ll spend a few days somewhere relaxing.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  WE STAND IN the conference room as Leo and several other men from the CIA join us. They offer their condolences over the death of my mother and Nick. I don’t say what I’d really like to because what would that accomplish? It’s over and even though the CIA was responsible, these particular men didn’t have anything to do with it. They discuss the capture and subsequent dealings of the men who allegedly were responsible for my mom and Nick’s death, and who were involved with Project Gemini. It seems this was a side mission that wasn’t sanctioned by the CIA. At the time, the government was also trying to hush the fact that the US had supplied arms to the Afghans to help fight the Soviets. This group sought out links to terrorists but got out of hand and took it upon themselves to become their own authority. That’s why Leo didn’t know anything about it.

  Drex hands over the briefcase that contains all the information with the locations of the radioactive substances. He also gives them his demands for my safety and security. They assure him, in writing, that I will be assigned a team of men to protect me for an undetermined length of time. This team will be approved by Drex. I smile because Drexel Wolfe has just finagled himself another paid job. But I do feel safer because of it.

  Our little meeting ends and I breathe easier. I haven’t been comfortable knowing Drex had that information in his possession and I’ve been eager for him to get rid of it. Too many people have died because of it. When they’re gone, I hug him.

  “Happy now?” he asks.

  “Oh yeah.”

  MY HAND TREMBLES slightly as it reaches for the doorbell. Taking a deep breath, I push it and hear the ring on the other side of the door that separates me from the two people who have the ability to change the future of the man I so desperately love. When the door opens, I’m face to face with a very attractive woman in her mid-fifties, and I find myself looking into the same eyes I’ve fallen in love with.

  “Hi, Mrs. Drexel, my name is Gemini Sheridan and I’d like to speak to you, if I may, about someone I love more than anything in this world. Your son, James.”

 
Her eyes widen and then her face turns red and angry. “I have nothing to say to you.”

  “I know, but I have a ton of things to say to you. Things that probably should’ve been said long ago, but Drex didn’t because he took an oath. Mrs. Drexel, you understand those oaths, don’t you? You’ve been married to a military general for how many years? You know how secretive they can be. I want to clear Drex’s name, not for the world, but for you and his father. Your son is a good man. The very best. He saved my life I don’t know how many times. Please listen to me. And after I tell you the truth of what happened to him that day in Iraq, you can choose to believe what you will. As his mother, you deserve to know the truth. Can I please come in?”

  She glares at me for a second and then says, “My husband isn’t home right now.”

  “I can come back this afternoon.”

  “No, come in now. And then maybe I can talk to him. Or you can come back too.”

  An hour later, a teary-eyed Linda Drexel holds my hand as we both shed tears. “Mrs. Drexel, would you like to see your son?”

  “W-what?”

  “He’s outside. In the car. I can call him inside if you’d like.”

  “After everything we said to him, he still wants to see us?”

  “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

  She nods. I send Drex a text and then go to the front door. He’s walking up the steps when I open it. When he sees my watery smile, he uses both thumbs to wipe my tears away. “She’s in the kitchen.” I remain in the den. It’s a moment mother and son should share alone.

  After some time passes, I hear their footsteps and I stand as they both enter the room. Linda thanks me for bringing her son back to her.

  “It was his idea, to come here, Mrs. Drexel. He wanted to.”

  We hear the back door open and close, which tells us that Drex’s father is home.

  “Honey, come in here. Someone’s here to see us,” Linda calls out.

  When Drex’s father walks in, I can see where Drex gets his looks. And I also have a good idea of what he’ll look like in another thirty years. I smile.

  “Hi, Dad.”