We guided Chuck and Ron outside to the cars. Ron was fine, but Chuck was like a drunken Slinky. “You’re really pretty,” he slurred in my ear as I struggled to hold him up. “Is your boyfriend taking care of you?”
I managed to get the car door open and dumped him inside. “Do you want to drive, Lucy?” I called over to the other side of the car. I was worried she would be shaken up by the exchange inside, but she just seemed sad, not angry.
“Yeah, I’ll follow you so I don’t get lost.”
I smiled as I climbed into the other car with Sammie, Elizabeth, and Ron. Lucy and I had driven these roads together for years, and there weren’t that many places to get lost unless you were trying to get lost. There wasn’t much to do when we were growing up. In the evenings, we would drive the three miles to Lake Michigan and hang out in the beach parking lots waiting for friends, who also didn’t have much to do, to show up. We would raise the hatchbacks or lower the tailgates and let music pour out from the stereos. It’s also where we kept the coolers with the beer or the sloe gin fizzes. I shuddered now at the thought of either drink. There were lots of long, slow summer nights when we drove the back roads just to pretend we were going somewhere, but we always wound up at the beach parking lot. We were a Bruce Springsteen song personified. Barefoot girls drinking warm beer on the hood of a car. I hummed under my breath. Mostly I had watched the water. The blue waves of Lake Michigan rolled up on sugar-sand beaches. The sand was so fine that an industrial company had come years before and mined off most of the dunes to make glass.
Like Walker knew his rivers, I knew this lake. I knew the cold smell of the lake mixed with the diesel exhaust of boats. I knew the perfect time for swimming was late July, when the water was sixty-nine degrees and the sun was beating down. I knew that when the sky turned green, a storm was coming in from Wisconsin across the massive lake. Spitting fireworks and rolling thunder, the storm would kick up whitecaps and boats would head into the channel. When the sun finally went down, the Connies—the State Park Conservation Officers—would come to kick everyone out and close the gates. After that, when someone could get a keg, we would all meet out on Fenner’s two-track. We would build a bonfire and pump the keg and drink beer out of red Solo plastic cups. Kids just leaned against the wagon circle of cars trying to look cool.
Lucy and I had driven every road hundreds, maybe thousands, of times together. She drove by herself in faraway states all the time now, but when she was home, she was certain she would get lost.
Chapter Twelve
Sunday, June 29, 1986, 1:00 a.m.
The exchange at the country club bar didn’t seem to bother Lucy as much as it did me. When we got home she said she was going to bed and went inside. Ron waited in the car to go over to Evan’s house. Out by the curb Elizabeth asked me if I thought Lucy was going to be all right.
“I don’t think she needed that tonight,” I said.
“Check on her later, okay?” Elizabeth twisted the handles on her purse, a sure sign she was worried about one of us. She looked up at the house and hesitated like she might rush in to save Lucy. Ron honked the horn. “Make sure she’s up by seven. The wedding’s at noon.” Elizabeth had a way of breaking things down to their most elemental. What is the problem? How do we solve it? It was her way of having some control and logic in a family that had little of either. As she got in the car I heard her chide Ron, “Keep it down. You’ll wake the neighbors.”
I stopped to take off my white heels on the way up the front walk. Through the front window I could see Sammie maneuvering Chuck to the couch. I went inside and Sammie followed me to the kitchen.
“Can you make some coffee?” Sammie asked. “We’d better get him sobered up before he goes to bed.”
“Why were you so pissy about Evan’s toast to Anna?”
Sammie sat down at the table and played with a spoon. “Evan’s special. He’s the most sensitive of all of us. His whole life he’s gotten run roughshod over by us girls because he’s so much quieter than us. I don’t want to think that his wife would do the same thing to him. I mean, how many guys like Japanese art and Yogi tea and still like to go out to some duck blind or deer camp with the guys? He’s unique.”
“I didn’t know he liked Japanese art.”
“You should talk to him more often.”
Buddy was following me around like I had bacon in my pocket. “Sammie, would you take Buddy out?”
“Nope. I didn’t make the deal with the cops.”
I got Buddy’s leash out of the closet and opened the front door. Before I could snap it on his collar, Buddy had blown by me and out the door. I followed after him into the darkness. He pummeled through the bushes into the Longs’ yard, and then I heard him turn and crash down the steep hill to Bear Lake. God! He was going to make me chase him in my skirt and hose. I hadn’t bothered to put my shoes back on because I had only planned to walk about ten feet. I could now hear Buddy racing along the beach. I made my way across the yard to the back of the house, avoiding the big tent. Gingerly, I tried out the new dock stairs that led down to the lake. They seemed solid enough. The lights Dad had put in along the stairs weren’t working, though. Like Dad, Tom the handyman couldn’t fix one thing without messing up another. I gripped the railing and felt for each step with my toes. My eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness and there were a few stars out to help me. My feet finally touched the beach grass. Ah jeez, now I had sand inside my nylons, which is just a bizarre feeling. I looked down the beach and thought I could see Buddy’s black silhouette moving around about fifty yards away.
“Buddy!” I hissed.
Nothing. I couldn’t yell too loud at 1:30 in the morning, and Buddy wouldn’t have paid attention anyway. As I turned to go back up the stairs without him, I caught sight of someone sitting in our speedboat.
“Who is that?” I said sharply, feeling that tingly feeling of fear and adrenaline.
“Shhh. It’s just me. Lucy.”
I walked across the beach and halfway out on the dock. “I thought you went to bed.”
“I wanted to be by myself for a while.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure if I should leave or not. “Can I be with you while you’re being by yourself?”
Lucy’s dress was tucked up under her feet. She was seated on the back of the boat facing the water. “Sure.”
I stepped onto the gunwale and made my way next to my sister.
“What are you doing down here?” she asked.
“Chasing Buddy.”
We sat in silence. Every once in a while, a bluegill or a sunfish broke the surface to feed.
“Do you want to talk?” I nudged my shoulder into hers.
“No.”
“Why did you get married?”
“I just said I didn’t want to talk.” She flipped a stone into the lake.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No.”
There were a few lights on the other side of the lake a half mile away. Evan’s house was directly across from my parents’ house. We watched the lights click off. Elizabeth and Ron had gone to bed.
“Why do you suppose Elizabeth married him?” Lucy asked.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t say much, he wears Gucci shoes, he brags about how expensive his cars are, and he says he was raised in Manhattan but he speaks with a New Jersey accent. Maybe because he’s not like anybody around here?”
“I married Chuck because I had to.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“No. He was about to be shipped overseas and the only way to stop that is to be married to someone stateside. At least it delays the process.”
“You’ve only known him seven weeks. You must really love him.”
“He’s in love with someone else.”
I was starting to wonder if I had had a few more drinks than I thought. Or maybe I hadn’t had enough. A slight breeze came up on the lake and I wrapped my arms around myself.
“If you’re cold, there’
s a beach towel over there.” Lucy indicated the captain’s chair. I got it and Lucy took one end and I took the other end and we huddled inside it together.
“Why did you marry him if he was in love with someone else?”
Lucy sighed. “He’s in love with some girl from Illinois. He was shipping out in two days and she couldn’t get there in time. She said her car broke down and she didn’t have enough money for a plane ticket. So I married him as a favor.”
“Why didn’t he go to her?”
“You can’t just go AWOL. It’s not like cutting class.”
I didn’t know what to say to this and looked down the beach to see if I could see Buddy. I couldn’t. He had probably made his way back up to the house by now and was scratching to be let in. He tore up the screen door every summer.
I could sort of see why Lucy would marry Chuck as a favor. Dad always said, “Take a chance. If you ever have a chance to do something different in this life, do it.” Our family was also big on helping out. Walker called it our “hostess gene.” If someone had car trouble, I’d lend him or her my car even if I barely knew the person. Marrying Chuck combined two of the things Lucy did well.
“Why did you bring him home?”
“After we got married,” Lucy went on, “we started sleeping together. We planned to get the whole thing annulled. I just brought him home because I’m dating him.”
I pondered the idea of dating someone after you had married him.
“Lucy, you have to tell Mom and Dad. You can’t go through with the wedding tomorrow.”
Lucy pulled the towel closer around her shoulders. “How can I do that? All my life they tried to do the right thing for me, and it always made them feel bad when it didn’t work out. I went to college and they paid all that money and then I dropped out. Now they’re spending all this money on a wedding for me.”
“This is not about money. Why would you go through with this?”
Lucy dropped her chin into her knees. “I can’t look like a loser to every single person I grew up with.”
“They don’t have to live with Chuck. You do.”
“Maybe I love him.”
“Do you?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I do.”
Lucy unwrapped herself and got up to leave. Her motion upset the boat and her purse and shoes started to go over the side. I made a valiant grab and wound up with one shoe and the purse. We watched the other shoe disappear under the water.
Lucy sighed. “Now I don’t have a mate.” Then she tossed the other shoe in after its partner.
We trudged back up to the darkened house. Chuck was snoring on the couch, my bed. I followed Lucy upstairs and we both climbed into her bed. Lucy lay on her side, turned away from me.
“Lucy, are you awake?”
“No.”
“What did Fudgie Shaw give you?”
“Hush up.”
I snuggled up to her so her back wouldn’t be unprotected and we both fell asleep.
Chapter Thirteen
March 2006
What do you mean you can’t come?” Aidan was incredulous. He had a right to be. Tonight was the premiere of one of his movies. It was being held in Westwood with klieg lights, red carpet, paparazzi—the works.
Earlier, in the bathroom at work, I had changed into a decent dress and fixed my makeup. Walking out the front doors, my cell phone rang. It was Elizabeth. “I just wanted to tell you where to park tonight.”
I stopped looking for my car keys in my purse. Alarm bells went off in my head. “Parking?”
“Right, for Madison’s ballet performance.”
Ballet? I had no idea what she was talking about. Cautiously I said, “Can you remind me about this?”
Elizabeth spoke in a controlled tone. “Don’t tell me that you’re blowing this off.”
“No, no, of course not.” I stood in the middle of the parking lot, phone to ear, and fake-smiled at some colleagues walking by. “I just can’t remember the address.”
Elizabeth’s voice became friendlier. As she reeled off the information I suddenly remembered. I had responded yes to the invitation by email. Then I had forgotten to write it down. Two places I absolutely had to be tonight meant one big problem.
I tuned back in to Elizabeth. “Be sure to get there early because Madison is in the second and fourth numbers. Your ticket is at will-call. Unless Aidan is coming? Then I can get one more ticket. Do we finally get to meet the mysterious Aidan?”
“Uh, no. Um, Aidan is out of town right now.” I cringed at my lie. Then I listened to Elizabeth rattle off parking instructions. After promising I would be there early, I had called Aidan.
“Jeannie, you’ve known about this movie premiere for months. This is a huge moment for me. I’d like you there by my side, you know, like someone who loves me? My girlfriend?” The hurt and anger in his voice were more than evident.
“I’m sorry. It’s just . . .” I trailed off. I couldn’t explain about Madison’s ballet performance. Up until now, I’d been able to keep Aidan, Elizabeth, and Sammie apart by some creative maneuvering. Fortunately, the rest of my family lived a couple thousand miles away. But Westwood and the UCLA campus are literally a few short blocks apart. Aidan might want to go meet Madison and Elizabeth after his movie premiere.
“It’s just . . . an emergency at work,” I finally finished.
“I don’t believe this. Can’t Caitlin handle it?” I heard Aidan up-shifting his car furiously.
“Take it easy, Aidan. I love you and I want you to get there in one piece.” I hit the remote control to unlock my car. “Okay, I’ll be there. I promise.”
I sat in my car and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. What the hell was I going to do? Miss the ballet, and my family might disown me. Miss the movie premiere, and my boyfriend might break up with me. I finally pulled out of the parking lot and commanded myself to think.
Could I pull off both? The two events were about half a mile from each other. The movie premiere started at 7:30. The ballet started at 8:00. But premieres never started on time. You had to wait for the stars to run the gauntlet of press outside before the lights could go down. I quickly calculated: lights out at 7:50, opening credits would roll and be done by 7:55. I had to stay for the credits because the audience would cheer for the names of people they knew, and I needed to be there when Aidan’s name appeared.
Could I then hoof it to the performance by 8:00? Unlikely. I tapped the wheel while waiting at a red light. I’d have to at least try. Looking down I regarded my strappy Jimmy Choo shoes. They were perfect for a movie premiere but not so great for running.
After circling the area twice, I gave up and pulled my car into the only parking lot with empty spaces, exactly as Elizabeth had predicted it would be. The lot was halfway between the premiere and the ballet performance. My car was going to be of no help, as I had expected.
Hurrying up the street, even in my angst, I still marveled as I always did at the elaborate display of neon on the art deco theater. The title of Aidan’s movie was splashed in three-foot-tall letters on the marquee. I searched the crowd and found him almost immediately. He was waiting for me at the entry to the red carpet and he broke into a broad smile at the sight of me.
“You made it,” he said as we hugged. Taking my arm he led me down the red carpet cordoned off by velvet ropes. To one side was a long line of paparazzi and on the other side were publicists from the studio who directed Aidan to the various photographers and video crews
I respectfully stepped back when Aidan was being interviewed. The shot the magazines would want to publish was one of Aidan with a glitzy star next to him. During one of these moments I furtively pulled my left sleeve back to catch a glimpse of my watch.
“Don’t do that!” a publicist whizzing by with a clipboard snapped at me. “Someone will take a photo and run a caption saying, ‘Is this movie over yet?’ ”
Already 7:38 and we weren’t even seated yet.
At an agonizingly slow pace, Aidan made his way down the long line of media waiting to speak to him. I had gone on ahead and was waiting in the theater lobby making nervous chit-chat with business acquaintances. It was 7:47. I peeked out the door. Aidan still had more people waiting to interview him. I had to take drastic measures. I marched back up the red carpet against the flow of traffic.
“Aidan.” I tugged on his sleeve. He turned from the cameras and smiled, but his eyes said, “What the hell are you doing?” “Aidan, they need you to come in and get seated right away. They’re running behind schedule.”
Aidan bent down and spoke low in my ear. “But I haven’t spoken to Access Hollywood yet. I can’t ditch that.”
“Yes, yes, you can. The publicist was very firm. She asked me to come get you.” I was pulling on his elbow now.
Aidan pulled back, hissing, “I can’t!”
I yanked his arm harder. “There’s a problem. They need to turn the lights down now and roll the film.”
Aidan yanked back. “I have to finish up here!”
The cameras now were focused on us for a different reason. It appeared we were engaging in a minor lover’s spat. We both realized it at the same time and stopped to plaster smiles on for the press. Our faces read, “Don’t mind us, we’re just one happy couple.” Aidan put his hand at the small of my back and propelled me rather forcefully into the theater. An usher showed us to our seats, which had been cordoned off by masking tape. A piece of paper with our names handwritten on it was taped to each of our seats.
We slid into our seats at 7:59. Thankfully, it was lights out at 8:02. Credits were done by 8:08. “Aidan, I have to go to the bathroom.” I was already climbing over him to get to the aisle.
“Can’t you wait a few minutes? The opening scene is so good.”
“I know, I know. That scene is great. But I’m not feeling real well.” I was already past him and hurrying up the aisle. Once I cleared the doors, I bolted through the now-empty lobby and out to the sidewalk. The camera vans were packing up and leaving. One was just pulling away from the curb when I pounded on the driver’s door. The driver stopped suddenly, clearly startled.
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