by M. Malone
“Do whatever you have to do. I promise I’ll behave.” Matt spread his hands. “I’m putting myself at your mercy.”
It was tempting to turn around and walk away. He was just too much. Too volatile, too arrogant and definitely too handsome for her peace of mind. The easy decision would be to turn him down. Then she could write this whole thing off and get back to her safe, ordered existence.
But in the end, it came down to the same factors she always used to make her decisions. She believed he wanted to get better. And she believed she had the tools to help him.
“Okay. I’ll help you. But be warned, I’m a pretty tough taskmaster. Come on back, Sergeant. We might as well figure out your treatment schedule.”
“We’re back to being formal already? Do I need to remind you of the time I caught that snake and hid it in your backpack?” He stood close enough that she could feel the heat coming off his big body. “I thought we’d already established that you would call me Matt.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“Well? Let me hear it.” He leaned over until Penny could see the flecks of gold in his brown eyes. “Go ahead, Penny. Say my name.”
“Matt,” she whispered.
His eyes lit with triumph.
Penny gulped as the circus troupe in her stomach started performing again. The only thing they’d established was that Sergeant Simmons made her feel everything her boyfriend didn’t.
* * * * *
MATT FOLLOWED THE soft sway of Penny’s hips as she led him down the hall to a room. There was a long table covered in the thin paper sheeting hospitals and doctors’ offices used to protect plastic seats. She excused herself for a moment and then came back holding a file.
“I’ve been reading up on you. I want to take a look and see where you’re having difficulty. Then I can devise a treatment plan.” She motioned toward the patient bench with her hand and he hopped up on the table, the paper crinkling beneath his legs.
“Can you unbutton your shirt, please? I want to take a look at your scar.” Penny issued the order and followed with a stern look when his lips curled up at the edges.
“Sure thing.” It took everything in Matt not to make a dirty comment, but he was already on thin ice with her, so he clamped his lips shut and unbuttoned his shirt. When he was done, Penny lifted his left arm gently, then touched the thin scar beneath his collarbone. She led him through a series of movements, noting his responses. She didn’t touch him any more than was necessary.
Oh yeah, he noted with satisfaction. She was feeling it, too.
After a few minutes, she walked back over to her desk. “It looks like your surgery to repair the glenoid labrum was successful, but yet you haven’t fully healed.”
Matt nodded even though he had no idea what she meant. “I’m up shit creek, huh?”
Penny shot him a tight grin. “I didn’t say that. I can help you. Despite what you seem to think of my profession, I’m determined to use my 'little exercises' to help you build stability in the ligaments and muscles surrounding the injured area. I believe we can get you enough strength to compensate for the weak areas so they can heal. You can button your shirt now.”
Matt winced. “I’m sorry about what I said. I’ve just been dealing with some stuff.”
Penny waved off his apology. “I get that, but it doesn’t change the facts. I’m going to say this once. If you are willing to work harder than you ever have, I can help you. But I am going to make you push, curse, and sweat. Before it’s all over you’re going to hate me.”
He motioned to the dress shirt he was wearing. “I can’t even wear a simple tee shirt anymore. It hurts to lift my arm that high. If you can get me back to normal, I promise I won’t hate you. Hell, I’ll probably get down on one knee and propose.”
“That won’t be necessary.” The light blush that suddenly rose in her cheeks showed she wasn’t as unaffected as she appeared. Matt found himself studying her more closely.
Her blond hair was lighter at the ends, like she was growing out highlights. Not that he could see much of it since she had it bundled up in some kind of knot at the back of her head. Blue eyes the color of a clear sky sparkled behind the thin frames of the glasses she’d slipped on. She looked much the same as the quiet, unassuming girl he’d known years ago except for an extra inch in height and several inches in the bustline.
He wondered if she thought the bulky white lab coat she wore hid her figure. If anything, it made her curves more pronounced because it stretched out the seams in ways that probably weren’t intended.
When he looked up, she was glaring at him.
Right. Staring at her chest was probably not the best way to start off their professional relationship.
“So, what’s the next step?” He sent her a tight smile before focusing on buttoning up his shirt.
“The next step is getting you on the schedule three times a week. Half the battle will be keeping you from injuring yourself further, so in the early stages I’ll want to monitor you carefully. Let’s start with noon next week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”
“Okay. That works.”
“Rule number one is that you tell me what you’re feeling. The truth. I know you’re a big, bad soldier and you can take pain, but there’s no place for machismo here. In this situation, I need to know what’s really going on with your body. Your pain response gives me information. Information is how I tailor your treatment. Can you do that?”
“I can do that.”
“Okay. My goal here is to get you back to one hundred percent. The tricky part is that your one hundred percent is about five times higher than the average guy’s.”
“I’ve been keeping myself in shape as much as possible. I don’t have the luxury of taking time off from my workouts. My goal is to qualify for the Special Forces. I’ve already gone to jump school. I was scheduled to go to Ranger school after deployment, but then the accident happened. You know the rest.”
“Jump school? So you jumped out of an airplane?”
Matt chuckled at her awed look. “Yeah. There are a lot of battle situations where it’s difficult to bring in ground support and dropping in from above is the best option. It’s important to have guys who are qualified to enter from the air and the Army always needs volunteers. So I offered to go.”
“Wow. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
At his confused look, she clarified. “Skydiving. I’ve always wanted to try it. I’m naturally risk averse. Everything I do, not just in my career but even in my personal life, is about minimizing risk. That probably sounds stupid to you.” She looked away, a beguiling flush of pink tingeing her cheeks.
Damn, she was cute.
“No, it doesn’t sound stupid at all. I can understand the fascination. There’s nothing like it. Free-falling makes you feel invincible. It’s one of the most incredible things I’ve ever done. If I can qualify to be a Ranger, then I’ll do even more incredible things. It’s been my dream since I joined the Army. Tell me you can give that back to me, Penny, and I’ll do anything you ask of me.”
Their eyes met and her lips softened and parted. It would have taken more self-control than Matt had ever possessed not to watch as her tongue darted out and traced the edge of her bottom lip. When she noticed where his attention was, she abruptly spun around and walked to the other side of the room.
“Mmm. I’m really glad you said that, because I have a feeling you’re not going to like rule number two.” She stood on tiptoe and pulled something down from a shelf. When she turned around she held it up so he could see it. It looked like a white bandage.
“Rule number two is you need to wear this for a few weeks.” She held up one end, then looped it over her head. She tucked her arm into the part hanging near her stomach.
“You want me to walk around wearing a sling again? I wore one when I was first injured. Shouldn’t I be past that by now?”
“Your shoulder is still weaker than it should be. While I work on the surroundin
g areas, we need to give the muscles and tendons time to heal without being jostled too much. Wear the sling. Trust me.”
He eyed the cloth she held out dubiously. It was bad enough having a bum arm without having to walk around wearing something that advertised it.
“Fine. I’ll wear it. I said I would do whatever it takes.”
Penny patted his arm. “Whatever it takes starts now.”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE DREAMS ALWAYS started the same way. The clawing fear. The panic. Everything was so clear, the image as perfectly preserved as a digital photograph.
It was pitch-black and there was nothing but the smell of burning rubber and smoke. He was on the ground, crawling, dragging his friend with him, determined not to leave him behind. He could feel the dirt and rock beneath his fingernails, the trickle of sweat running down his neck. Every few seconds the sky lit up with bursts of fire like some macabre parody of a fireworks display.
“Just leave me, Matt. Get out of here.” Cy started coughing before he could even finish the sentence. His legs were twisted to the side in an unnatural position. Matt couldn’t take time to dwell on what that meant. He just knew they couldn’t stop moving.
“I’m not leaving you behind, man. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but we’re getting out of here.” Matt had hooked his left arm over his friend’s chest and was using his right arm to drag both of them from the wreckage of the vehicle. Cy could barely move, so he was purely dead weight. Matt’s arm was screaming from the effort to pull both of them along, but he didn’t let go. He couldn’t let go.
The air was filled with the sounds of gunfire and screaming. Matt looked up to see the medics running toward them. They were going to be okay.
“Aah!” Matt cried out when Cy was pulled from his arm. His shoulder hurt so badly, as if he hadn’t been able to register the pain until he finally let go.
“We made it.” He looked to his right where the medics were packing Cy’s wounds. But when he looked, his friend had no face. There was only darkness where his head should be.
“No! Cyrus, no!” Matt woke up then, the scream trapped in his throat, almost strangling him. He patted the sheets next to him frantically, his chest rising and falling with the force of his breaths. For several long moments, he was trapped on the razor’s edge between nightmare and reality. Then his heartbeat slowed as he took in the familiar shapes of his room, the lamp on the nightstand, the dresser across the room. He was at Elliott’s house. In bed.
Safe.
“Aw, hell.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. His bare toes dug into the carpet. He’d never slept in clothes before, but he’d started wearing pajama pants since the dreams had started. He was used to getting up in the middle of the night.
He walked downstairs and flipped on the lights in the kitchen. After a glass of water and a piece of cheesecake that had been in his refrigerator long enough to be highly suspect, he trudged back up the stairs and got in bed. In therapy he’d learned to allow himself the freedom of remembering. It helped to think back on the events and remind himself that he’d done everything he could.
His friend’s death was not his fault.
So as soon as his eyes closed, he allowed his thoughts to go back to that evening. He was riding shotgun in the ATV and his friend Cyrus was driving. Cy was only five years younger, but it felt like light-years. He’d looked up to Matt, even signed up for jump school when Matt explained the volunteer-only program was always in need of qualified recruits.
They’d been tasked with delivering medical supplies to a hospital in the city of Balad. Cy had been talking about what he was going to do on his leave. He had a girlfriend back home in North Carolina and he’d just found out she was expecting their first child. Matt had been teasing him about being busy at home on his last break when the first shot hit the side of their vehicle.
He turned on his side and squeezed the pillow between his arms. Cy had swerved. They’d hit something and he couldn’t remember exactly what had happened after that. He just knew he’d been unwilling to leave his friend behind when he’d crawled from their overturned vehicle. It was all a blur of fire, bullets, and smoke, but he remembered that much. He’d been so determined to drag his friend out that he hadn’t realized how badly his shoulder had been compromised. It wasn’t until days later that the full extent of the damage was apparent.
He’d been on disability for almost six months before he’d been cleared to go back to work. He’d gone through all the requisite Army counseling, but he still couldn’t pass the general physical fitness test.
He’d picked up most of his life just as it had been before, so most people thought he was okay. It was a wonder to him that he’d managed to fool as many people as he had.
It wasn’t possible to ever be truly okay after watching a friend die right in front of you.
Cy would never have the chance to do all the things he’d talked about—getting married, watching his kid grow up, moving to the West Coast where, in his opinion, all the best looking women were. He’d been a fighter and Matt was suddenly ashamed that he’d been sitting around feeling sorry for himself when his friend would never again have that privilege.
More than just his ego had been bruised when he’d failed part of the fitness test. His goal of being a Ranger was now more like a distant dream. He’d joined the Army to serve and protect. It felt like he was failing at the one thing he’d been sure he was good at. But everything he’d tried so far hadn’t worked, so maybe it was time to try something different. Cy would have said “If you don’t like where you are, then go somewhere else.”
He thought back to what Mara had said about Penny being a miracle worker.
He could only hope.
* * * * *
THE NEXT DAY, Matt stood on the Alexanders’ front porch. He shifted the case of sodas he held so he could ring the doorbell. Before the chime even finished, the door was wrenched open and laughter and warmth spilled over him.
“Hey! Look who’s here,” Elliott Alexander yelled over his shoulder. “Come on in, man. Everyone else is already here.”
Matt accepted a handshake from his friend’s older brother and allowed himself to be pulled into the warm, welcoming interior of the Alexanders’ ranch-style home. Mark Alexander stood next to the window, looking out. When he saw Matt, he ambled over with his hand outstretched.
“Hey there, son. I’m glad you were able to come out. It’s always good to see you.”
“Thank you, sir. It’s good to see you, too.” He followed Mark and Eli toward the source of the noise, the kitchen. Matt loved spending time with the Alexanders. There was always tons of food and just good people having a good time.
Julia Alexander walked out from the kitchen carrying a platter. She stopped short when she saw her husband and son.
“What are you two doing out here? It’s almost time.” When she caught sight of Matt, she let out a little squeal. “Matt! I didn’t think you were going to make it. Come on in, honey. Everyone else is in the kitchen.”
He put the drinks he was still carrying down on the table and followed them all into the next room. A chorus of “hellos” rang out. His friend Jackson Alexander stood next to his wife, Ridley, as she stirred a bowl of something. Nick Alexander stood across the counter from them holding a plate of oranges while his wife, Raina, ate the pieces one by one.
“Matt’s here!” Mara raced over and gave him a quick hug. “That’s everyone. Now that we’re all here, you can tell us. Is it a boy or a girl?”
Trent chuckled and just shook his head. “Mara, we’re still missing one. I’m sure Raina and Nick want to wait for Bennett.”
Matt looked at his sister in disbelief. “Have you been badgering her the entire time you’ve been here?”
Raina answered for her. “Yes, she has, but it’s okay. She’s not the only one.” She glanced at Mrs. Alexander from the corner of her eye. Matt laughed along with everyone else when Julia crossed her arms i
n mock outrage.
He thought back on the stilted Christmas dinner he and Mara had spent with their parents in Florida. He loved his folks, honestly, but spending time with his parents couldn’t be called relaxing. His father usually spent their time together rehashing his glory days as a lieutenant or badgering him about when he was going back on active duty. He sighed. It wasn’t as if Mara had it any easier. His mother had always been extremely critical of his sister until recently. Once she’d gotten wind that Trent had proposed, she was obsessed with planning a big society wedding.
Even though that wasn’t what his sister wanted.
Then he looked around at the crazy, loud bustle of people in the Alexanders’ kitchen. Everyone was accepted exactly as they came, no criticism about what they were wearing or where they’d been. No nosy questions or pressure.
When he was here, he could just be himself.
“So, how did things go with Penny?” Mara whispered.
“Fine. It was okay.” He flinched internally. A weak answer was a surefire way to get his sister interested.
Mara narrowed her eyes. “So, she’s going to help you? Does she think you’ll get better?”
“I don’t know, Mara. It’s too soon to tell. Stop worrying.”
Mara crossed her arms and probably would have given him an earful if Raina hadn’t cleared her throat just then.
“Okay, I know you guys are all dying to know what we’re having, so we won’t keep you in suspense. Bennett tends to lose track of time when he’s working on something, so we might as well just go ahead.” Raina ate the last orange slice and delicately wiped her fingers on the napkin her husband held out. She turned to her sister, who was spreading icing on a small cake. “Ri, is it done?”
“Almost… Okay, now it’s done.” Ridley lifted the cake and winked.
Raina grinned. “I decided to use my newfound ninja baking skills to make a pink or blue cake. So, you won’t know until we cut the first piece. Who wants to cut the first piece? Mark, would you like to?”