by M. Malone
“No, I want to. It’s just been a long time since I’ve had a guy in my house other than Scott. It feels weird. Is it wrong that I feel that way?”
“The psychologist I saw after I got home from overseas always said that feelings aren’t wrong, only actions. We all have the right to however we feel. We should examine our feelings to see what they tell us.”
“I’m not sure what it says about me that I feel guilty for moving on with my life. Maybe it’s my subconscious telling me I’m an insecure twit.”
“It’s your mind telling you to be cautious. Which is not a bad thing. I know we jumped the gun a little bit. I can’t apologize for it because I’m honestly enjoying it too much. But you were right when you said we should take things a little slower this time. So that’s what we’re doing. We’re going to cook and talk. That’s it.”
Penny shot him an incredulous look. “That’s it? No funny business?”
“I’ve never understood that expression,” Matt mused. “If you’re doing it right, there’s nothing funny about it.”
“Matt,” Penny said warningly.
He held up two fingers. “I promise I won’t kiss you again unless you kiss me first. Scout’s honor. And I was actually a scout, so that’s not a line.”
Once they were inside, Penny took his coat and hung it up in a small closet near the front door. He walked into the living room and looked around. It was decorated in warm greens, reds, and golds. The color palette was as warm as Penny was. It reflected her style perfectly. He sat down on the sofa, feeling completely at home already.
Penny perched on the seat cushion next to him. “So, I have some chicken breasts already defrosted. I could cook those and we could eat them with a salad. Or I could do a quick teriyaki stir fry. Or maybe you want pasta?”
Matt covered her hand with his. She instantly stopped chattering. “I just want to spend time with you. The food doesn’t matter. You have to know that if I was willing to eat my own craptastic cooking to spend time with you.”
“So, you were lying about being able to cook? Well, I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t go to your place,” Penny joked.
He’d never seen her quite so flustered. It was different talking to her outside of therapy. When they were in her territory, she was confident and bossy as hell. He was man enough to admit it turned him on a little. Now he was seeing a different side to her. She was fidgeting, picking at a loose piece of lint on the edge of the couch. It was strange to see her nervous. He wanted his brazen, ballsy Penny back.
“What’s the easiest thing to make?”
She shrugged. “Chicken doesn’t take long to grill.”
“Let’s do that. Then we’ll talk. In the meantime, I almost forgot to ask about the most important ingredient.”
“What’s that?”
He got to his feet and headed for the kitchen. “What do you have to drink?”
* * * * *
THE AROMA OF grilled chicken soon filled the kitchen. Penny stirred the sliced-up chicken breasts in the skillet with one hand and took a nervous gulp of her wine with the other.
It was a lot easier to be “just friends” with Matt when they were out doing things in public places. Now she had him here in her kitchen, looking so good that she wanted to put him on her plate instead of the chicken.
How was she supposed to entertain a man who made her want to tear her clothes off when she’d resolved not to tear her clothes off?
Stop thinking about tearing stuff off. There will be no tearing around Matt Simmons.
Her libido didn’t seem impressed with the warning. Her temperature was rising with every minute they were alone together.
She turned down the heat on the chicken and pulled out the ingredients for a salad. Crisp lettuce greens were tossed in a bowl, followed by sliced tomatoes and cucumbers. She layered the salad on plates and then scooped the chicken slices on top. Last, she mixed oil and vinegar in a jar as a quick dressing and dashed a little on each plate.
“Here you go. It’s not gourmet, but it’s fast.”
“Thank you. I’m starving.” Matt accepted the plate and fork and shoveled a big bite into his mouth. They ate in silence for a while until Matt finished. Penny was only halfway through with her own salad when he got up to refill their wine glasses.
Her eyes followed him as he reached into the refrigerator. The move only emphasized his long, lean body and amazing ass. He turned and caught her staring. She choked on the piece of chicken she’d just taken a bite of.
Dammit. The man couldn’t even bend over to look in the refrigerator without her molesting him with her eyes. Sexual desperation was turning her into a pervert.
“So, how are things with your sister?” She thought dimly after the fact that she probably shouldn’t have asked that. It was obviously a delicate subject and she wasn’t trying to pry into his business, just distract herself. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind.
“Things are good. She and Trent made up. It was just a shock for him because he hadn’t realized how much money I’d given her.”
He poured a generous amount of wine in both of their glasses before pushing the cork back into the bottle.
“I’m glad. It sounds like they have a solid relationship. Too many people give up too easily. If you’re lucky enough to have that special connection, you have to be willing to work things out. To compromise. That’s a lot more realistic than all the soul mate crap we’re spoon-fed from the cradle.”
Matt raised his eyebrows. “Wow. That wasn’t what I expected. I thought all women went in for the love at first sight, romantic stuff.”
“I know I sound like a brat. It’s just that girls are conditioned from a young age to expect the fairy tale. The handsome prince who saves you from whatever. A great and grand love.”
Penny shrugged and concentrated on the last remaining lettuce leaf on her plate. She pushed it back and forth with her fork, trying to find the right words.
“There is no great love. There’s just love. It’s toxic to pretend otherwise. If people are expecting a fairy tale, then they aren’t expecting to have to work at it. The fairy tale conditions us to expect something that doesn’t exist. It makes us think it should be easy. It’s hard enough to deal with reality without having your expectations built up to expect something that will never happen.”
“I’m not sure I agree.” Matt calmly took a sip of wine as she gaped at him.
“You’re not seriously telling me you believe in all that fairy tale nonsense, do you?” Penny barely recognized that she was holding her breath waiting for his answer. He trailed a long finger down the stem of his wineglass and her eyes followed the motion.
“I agree that all relationships take work, but I also I believe when we meet the person best suited to us, we feel it. I’m not sure if I’d call it love at first sight, but there’s definitely something.”
Penny let out her breath in a soft huff. “Have you ever felt like that?” She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted him to say. The thought of Matt being in love with some nameless woman left her with a desperate sense of loss. A loss she had no right to claim. He wasn’t hers.
His finger stopped moving on the glass. “Yeah. I have.”
When she looked up, his eyes were focused on hers. He moved closer so he was sitting in the chair right next to hers. Penny’s heart sped up as their thighs brushed. She jumped when his arm landed on the back of her chair.
“Penelope,” he whispered. His firm lips moved sensually just pronouncing her name.
It was a struggle to get her mouth to cooperate, but she finally answered. “Yes?”
“I need you to kiss me now.”
Penny didn’t even answer him. She just jumped out of her seat and into his lap.
* * * * *
THE FIRST BRUSH of his lips against Penny’s was so soft it almost didn’t register. Just a whisper of a touch. Then he pressed his lips to hers again. Harder this time, until she melted under his touch and opened her m
outh.
Then it was all heat.
His hand left the back of her chair and slipped under her shoulders to hold her against him as he devoured her mouth. She fit perfectly in his arms, her height aligning their bodies in just the right ways. She gripped the front of his shirt and held him to her, keeping him anchored in place as their mouths mated.
They finally broke apart to take desperate, greedy breaths. Penny gazed up at him with her impossibly blue eyes. “I have no idea what we’re doing, but I don’t care anymore. I want you, Matt.”
Matt stood and helped her pull her top over her head. It fell to the floor in a heap. Next, he slowly pulled his shirt off and then threw it behind him. Her eyes roamed over his naked chest with obvious appreciation.
“You are perfect. I could just stare at you all day.”
He looked down to where her breasts threatened to spill over the edges of her bra. “Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”
Placing a hand in the center of his chest, she bit her lip just to tease him. It had the desired effect, because he groaned at his body’s immediate response, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans to relieve the pressure. She giggled as she observed his discomfort.
“Your fault,” he growled, nuzzling behind her ear.
“Definitely my fault,” she whispered back. She skipped down the hall, glancing back to make sure he was following before she ducked into a room at the end. It would have been funny under any other circumstances. Where did she think he was going to go?
When he pushed the door open a few seconds later, his heart almost stopped at the sight waiting for him. Penny lay sprawled across the bed. She’d shucked her jeans so she only wore her underwear.
It wasn’t fancy, just plain white cotton underwear and a beige bra. But in that moment, it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Penny lived up to every fantasy he’d had about her over the past month. Her waist dipped in enticingly and flared out to full hips. She crossed her legs and his gaze trailed appreciatively over the long length of her toned limbs.
Those were going around his waist. ASAP.
“I’m feeling distinctly overdressed.” He yanked off the rest of his clothes and then crawled onto the bed, lowering himself gently on top of her. She pushed at him until he rolled so she was straddling him. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra.
“Sweet Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He cupped her full breasts in his palms, brushing the tips gently with his thumbs.
“Mmm.” Penny’s eyes drifted closed as he caressed her. She rolled off him long enough to ditch her panties. Then she climbed back on top of him. The first brush of her wet sex against the skin of his stomach lit a fire within him. Penny leaned over him, her long blond waves trailing over the skin of his chest.
Matt sucked in a breath as she trailed kisses down his abdomen. When she circled the indentation of his navel, he reached out and grabbed her hair, holding it gently to prevent her from going farther. “Wait a minute. I’m too on edge for that. I’ve been wanting you for too long.”
She crawled back up his chest with a satisfied smile. “You have?”
“You know I have. You knew I wanted you the whole time. Every time you touched me it was a struggle not to drag you into my arms.”
Penny settled until her wet heat hovered directly over his erection. He could smell her arousal and it was doing crazy things to his head. It made him want to pin her to the bed and thrust into her until she screamed his name. Only his name, so many times she’d never forget who owned her. He hadn’t felt like this in so long. Out of control. Possessive.
Primal.
“What I said before about leaving you alone, that’s over. There’s no way I can leave you alone now.”
She seemed determined to avoid any serious entanglements with him. But now that she was here in his arms, he couldn’t just let her walk away without a fight. She had to know how good they’d be together.
“So, you’ll give me a chance? You’re all in on this, right?”
Penny’s hands tightened on his shoulders, but she didn’t look afraid. Her pupils dilated slightly, making her eyes look dark. Hungry. “All in? What does that mean?”
“It means I get to do this.”
Then he drove into her, her soft flesh enveloping him in a fist-tight grip, his mouth swallowing her frenzied cry.
“All mine.”
* * * * *
PENNY CURLED INTO the cradle of Matt’s body, her bottom snugged up against his incredible washboard abs. Matt rolled over so he was propped on his right arm. Now that she had free rein to touch him, the first thing she’d done was trail her fingers over the ridges under his bronze skin. He was like one of those perfectly carved marble statues in museums.
Except for one thing. She glanced down and then back up at him in surprise. He was erect again.
“Do you want to come home with me next weekend? I’m leaving on Saturday. I know Mara would love to see you again.”
Penny rolled away to face the wall. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Won’t she get the wrong idea about us?”
She could feel him tense behind her. This is why you don’t bring guys home, Penny. People have expectations that sex leads to more sex or a relationship. Neither of which you are ready for.
“I guess I have the wrong idea about us myself.” Matt rolled over and sat up, the bed sinking beneath his weight.
“Matt, I just don’t think we should get too deep here. This is already stretching the boundaries of ethics. You’re my patient.”
Penny turned her head to see him stepping into his boxers. He dropped out of view and then stood, holding his tee shirt. When he turned toward her, she almost sighed at the sight of his bare chest. The man was perfectly chiseled. He yanked the shirt over his head, knocking his hair askew.
“Oh, bullshit. We’ve known each other for years. Your co-workers never treat their friends or family?”
“Well, yes. They do, but not people they—”
“What? People they what?”
Penny closed her eyes. “You know what I mean. People they’ve slept with. I seriously doubt my boss has ever brought a one-night stand into the office for treatment.”
“Is that what I am? A one-night stand?”
Penny wasn’t sure how to answer. The term didn’t sit right with her. It made it sound like she’d picked up a guy she didn’t know in a bar. Well, she’d picked up Matt and they had been to a bar before, but she knew him. He definitely knew her.
“Don’t answer that. The look on your face says it all.” He bent to pull on his jeans. “I should have known you didn’t go for the dumb-jock type.”
Stunned by the quiet vitriol in his voice, Penny got up on her knees. “Matt, what are you talking about?”
He continued speaking as if he hadn’t heard her. “Even when we were younger, you were smart. You always had your nose in a book.”
She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. “You are smart and you’re any girl’s type. I just don’t date military guys. I’m not made for that life. I did it growing up and promised myself that as soon as I had a choice, I was putting down roots somewhere. No more moving around. It’s not a good idea for us to spend too much time together because we’ll start to get attached. What would be the point? You’ll finish therapy and be going back home soon.”
“I understand. So, what happens now? We just chalk this up to a mistake?”
“It’s not a mistake unless we make it one. We’re both adults. We have amazing chemistry, and it was probably inevitable that we’d give in to it eventually. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. We can enjoy a fun night without it getting serious, right? Let’s just enjoy it. We can go back to being all business tomorrow.”
“A fun night. That’s all you want?” Matt asked skeptically.
“Yeah. And the night’s not over.” She trailed a finger down his chest until it snagged on the top of his jeans. “It was definitely fun. Okay, I’m lying. It w
as mind-blowing.”
He stared at her for a long time before his lips curled up at the edges. “Mind-blowing, huh? I can do better than that.”
* * * * *
THERE WASN’T A single man alive who hadn’t found himself naked, in bed with a woman, and trying to figure out how to get rid of her. So it was a surprise to Matt to find himself on the receiving end.
“I have a really early day tomorrow, so I’d better start getting ready for bed.” Penny yawned and stretched her arms overhead. The sheet slipped, revealing the tip of one plump breast. Matt’s attention remained fixed there until she got up.
“Wait, what? Where are you going?” He reached across the bed and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into the bed. With a laugh, she tumbled on top of him. Her curves pressed against him and he filled his hands with warm, soft, curvy woman.
“I need to start getting myself ready for tomorrow. I think I’m going to turn in early.”
Awkward silence descended between them when Matt finally understood what she was saying. She wanted to get ready for bed.
Without him.
“Oh right. I’ll get out of your way.” He pulled on his clothes, keeping his back to her. As he dressed, his mind raced back over the past several hours. He’d had the best time and he’d been sure she felt the same way even though she’d only allowed him to cuddle her for a few minutes before she hustled into the bathroom and showered alone.
They dressed in silence, maneuvering around each other as they scooped up clothes and Penny pulled her hair up into its usual neat bun. Less than ten minutes later, he’d driven her back to the center to pick up her car.
With a jaunty wave and a smile she’d driven off, leaving him in the empty parking lot, standing next to his truck.
He stood there for a full ten minutes trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.
He’d never had a woman seem so anxious to get rid of him after sex. If he didn’t still have the memory of her soft, aroused little moans echoing in his ears, he might have wondered if she hadn’t enjoyed it as much as he had.