by Gabrielle G.
As the sun caresses my face, I know it’s time to go home. It’s time to return to my life. It’s time to get Barn on track. It’s getting late, and I spent all day surrounded by the mountain. It’s a three-hour hike to come here. I need to get going.
As I’m ready to leave, a moose stops and looks at me. I’m sure he’s wondering what the fuck I’m doing here. I know I would if I were a moose in this part of the woods. I show him my middle finger and thank him at the same time. He strolls away majestically, and I wink at fate. Deb and I are alright. I can continue to ignore her when she pokes at my back. I can keep fucking around until guilt jabs at me. I can continue hurting until I need to reset my brain.
Nobody has to see my scars.
Nobody has to know the truth.
Nobody is interested anyway.
By the time I’m back in town, it’s party time at The Bar. Jake’s family has owned this establishment forever, I believe, and as long as I remember, it’s been called The Bar. I scan the room as I usually do to find someone new, but I realize quickly the only thing I’m looking for is a pile of thin red hair that isn’t here.
“Barn, where have you been?” Andrew hugs me. He’s drunk. There is no way I’m telling him where I was all day if he’s drunk. It will bring the whole party down, and I need to let loose. I give a one wave greeting to Jake who slides a beer my way. I don’t get the piss of beer reserved for locals. Jake always gives me the excellent and expensive shit we offer the tourists.
“Wouldn’t you like to know…” I wiggle my eyebrows in Andrew’s direction. He laughs, slapping me on the shoulder a little too hard. I look at Jake for confirmation. He signs with his hand that Andrew is already cut off. What the fuck happened for him to be drunk so early?
“Is that why Avery isn’t here on a Thursday? Already cheating on her?” Donna is the most annoying person I know. That’s mostly why I fucked her a couple of times, so she would shut up.
“I’m a lot of things, Donna, but I’m not a cheater. What’s up with him?” I sip my beer patiently waiting for Donna to let me know, but she shrugs and shakes her head.
“Let’s just say, he went down memory lane today,” Melissa says, sliding her arms around my waist and giving me a side hug.
“I did too.” I don’t need to tell her more; we know the hell it has been for each one of us. I thought I wanted to party, but all I want is to be home. I have a group of dudes arriving in a few days, and I could be getting everything ready. I could also spend the evening watching a mermaid show with a little rascal or whatever boring documentary Avery is binging on these days. I turn to leave.
“You just arrived,” Andrew whines. “Where are you going?”
“What am I doing here if I have prime pussy waiting for me at home?”
“What if your prime pussy comes to you?” Avery nudges Melissa with her hips and slides next to me as if it’s the most natural thing to do. My arm rounds her shoulder. She freezes a second before relaxing.
“Do you want a beer, darling?” She winces. Her eyes are blue-disgusted.
“I can’t drink what Jake serves us.”
“I’ll get you the good stuff.” My hand starts playing with a strand of her hair.
“I can’t afford it,” she mumbles, her cheeks redden in embarrassment. I wonder if her ass will turn the same red once I spank it. I bite my lip not to bite her in public.
“We don’t pay,” I whisper in her ear. She backs off and looks at me puzzled.
“So, there are advantages to dating you?”
“A lot of advantages, Ave.” I smirk. She smirks back. That Avery is too confident for my liking. I finally take her in.
“What is that?” I say, pointing at her unbuttoned shirt. I count five buttons missing and no bra. It’s the sexiest cleavage I have ever seen without even showing her tits. It’s suggestive and erotic at the same time. I bring my hand to my mouth to stop my tongue from lashing out between her nonexistent breasts. Avery throws her head back, laughing at my reaction, and a surge of testosterone passes through my veins. I want to throw her over my shoulder, spank that ass, and thump my fists on my chest like Tarzan would do. I found my freaking Jane, and I’m gonna fuck her hard.
“If you continue laughing with your mouth open and your throat on display, don’t be surprised if you end up with my dick knocking on your tonsils, darling. There is only so much teasing a man can take.” But Avery wouldn’t be Avery if she was just blushing, gulping, and shutting up like most women I know. She has to answer back.
“I thought these tits were not your jam, hot stuff?” Her eyes are as blue as my balls and as challenging as my very preeminent erection.
“Jake!” I scream without breaking eye-contact with Ave. “A good beer for my girl.” Avery looks at me perplexed while the bar quiets down, whispers spreading around for the few who didn’t hear me. I just claimed her for all to hear. I never called any of my fucks, ‘my girl.’ I never claimed anybody in front of the whole town. It’s one thing for people to think we might be together because they heard through the grapevine, but it’s another to have me announce it loud and clear. I give her my most devilish smile and climb on the bar.
“You heard me, peeps? Avery Dubois is mine. And I won’t share that one.” I look down at Ave. She’s fuming. I crouch down and cradle her face. She’s pinching her lip in a thin line, letting me know I’m crossing the threshold of her patience.
“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,” the crowd chants behind us.
“We gotta seal it with a kiss, sugar.”
She rolls her eyes but climbs on her toes to bring her lips closer to mine. My breath catches with anticipation. My insides clench a little at her touch. I’m eight years old, and I’m about to give my first kiss to a girl again. When our lips connect, dizziness takes over every one of my thoughts. I stop hearing the hollers, the applauds, and all the noise behind us and only feel her tongue against mine, her fingers in my hair, my heartbeat in my ears. I want to explore her mouth forever. Fireworks chase the dizziness away when she lets her tongue discover every soft spot in my mouth. I grunt with pleasure while she moans. The tip of our tongues brush one last time. She takes my bottom lip in her teeth and tugs slightly, before letting me go. We look at each other, winded, knowing you don’t get that connection with just anybody. I own her, and she owns me.
“Fuck,” we say at the same time. We don’t need to add anything more. In that instant, I’m fluent in Avery’s madness, and she can understand my craziness. We both know that one kiss is all it took to open the kingdom of possibilities of what we could be.
11
Avery
This is not how the evening was supposed to go.
After last night, I wanted to extinguish the fire between us, not feed it. My blouse was supposed to deter him from desiring me. He told me enough times that my breasts did nothing for him. And the kiss wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m still looking deep in his eyes, reading his soul. There is no universe possible where Barnabas and I are concerned. I’m not supposed to crave his hands on me or to like his mouth on mine. I need my stomach to flip with disgust, not with yearning. I step away, turn my back, and flee.
Fleeing, that’s what I’m good at.
It’s not the first time I’ve done that when things get complicated. But where to? Alexis is at my mother’s for the night, which means, if I go to my temporary home, Barn and I will be alone. I trust my vagina as much as I trust his dick. Not.
Someone is running after me, and I don’t have to turn to know who it is. I’m still connected to him.
“Ave!” I want to hurl, to laugh, to cry. Fucking fate. Feeling you belong to the person you despised the most is phenomenal and painful at the same time. I quicken the pace, but I know he’s on my heels.
“Ave, fucking slow down. I have nothing against chasing you but only if it ends up with me fucking you on the hood of your car.” I halt. Let him catch up to me, and when he is close enough, I turn around and slap him hard. It’s f
or all those years he bothered me in elementary school, for the mockery in middle school, and the nickname of ‘stuck-up Ave.’ It’s because I can’t take what I feel. I go at it again, but this time he stops my hand and takes it in his.
“I know, sugar.” He kisses the inside of my wrist, and it’s all too much for me. I can’t stop the tremor and the tears falling from the agony of my heart. In one kiss, I opened my mind to the town slut. He wraps his arms around me, but I push him away, sighing.
“Ave, don’t go.” It’s a plea from his soul to my heart, but I can’t stay. I shake my head. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I quiver before getting in my car. Barnabas stays there, in the middle of the parking lot, his untamed heart open while I try to close mine.
If I were strong, I would pick up Alexis, pack up my car, and go join Lou in Billings. She proposed just that enough times; I could finally take her up on her offer. I drive around for a while, contemplating the idea of a life somewhere new. I end up parked at the farm. My subconscious knowing where I belong. Of course, Barn is there, waiting for me on the porch, worry in his eyes. He doesn’t come close to the car though, he waits for me to go to him, and I do because I can’t avoid it. Arriving at the barn, I leave the door open for him to follow. Once inside, I smile at the wine poured on the table, the popcorn in the bowl, the blanket ready to be used, and the animal documentary queued up on the TV. It’s the sweetest thing someone has done for me in years. That’s how pathetic my life has been.
He sits on the other side of the couch, hunched forward, his elbows on his knees, his hair falling on his eyes.
“Thank you,” I murmur. wrapping myself in the blanket. “How did you know that’s what I needed?”
He gives me a sad smile. “The same way you knew you should come back here?” I take a sip of my wine and ponder the clusterfuck of my feelings for this man.
“Did you also feel like…” He doesn’t let me finish my sentence.
“We were one?” I nod. He sighs. Our souls find each other again through our gaze. We can’t deny the instant connection.
“I don’t make promises anymore, Ave.” It hurts to hear what I already know.
“And I don’t give my heart to men anymore.”
A smile tucks at his lips. “I’m a child in a man’s body, if that helps.”
“It doesn’t.” He shrugs. We both know we can’t give each other what the other needs to survive.
“Can you be an asshole again?”
My heart breaks at his feet when he nods and swallows his own sadness. “Tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper, letting the little hope that we could be something together grasp at my heart.
“Can I hold you tonight?” I open the blanket for him to nestle against me. Without his eyes leaving mine, he settles next to me, lifts me onto his lap, and wraps his arms around my waist, before nuzzling his nose on the bone dimple of my neck.
“You used my shampoo.” He inhales, closing his eyes. “I like it.”
“Well, it was a present, wasn’t it?” I smile while taking his rough hands in mine.
“I’m sorry for last night, I…”
“I know,” I cut him off. Because if I don’t exactly know what happened, I know Deb was important to him, but she isn’t anymore, or not as important as she used to be. I don’t want to speak about another woman when all we have is now.
“If you need me to explain, I will.” His smile is dejected again. I want to mend his scars, whatever they are. I drop my eyes to his mouth and slowly bring my lips to his, shifting my body so I straddle him. As his hands make their way under my blouse, I cup his face and force my tongue between his lips. When our tongues meet, my chest tightens, and my clit throbs. I grind slowly against him, leaving no doubt where I want this kiss to go. His cold fingers burn my soft skin, feeding the desire-monster in me. When his thumbs graze each of my nipples, I moan, feeling my pussy clench around emptiness.
“Barn, please,” I beg into his mouth. His lips leave mine to kiss my neck. I quickly unbutton my top so he can have access to my chest. He starts by gently stroking my sides while kissing the valley of my breasts. I melt under his touch, my nipples hardening, my core begging for more, and my brain losing all connection to reality. His mouth consumes one of my breasts completely, his tongue lapping and flicking my nipple while his fingers pinch the other one. I’m close to coming. He nibbles and blows on it a couple of times, and I can’t stop the wave of pleasure taking over. I climax hard, throwing my head back while holding onto his hair to stop me from falling backward.
“I’ve never made a woman come so fast simply by playing with her tits, sugar. That was beautiful.” He kisses my neck, waiting for me to come back to him. I let out a breath, calming down my spent body.
“Barn me, please,” I rasp, beseeching him to fill me. His eyes are heated with desire. He wraps his hand in my hair and yanks slightly just so it is uncomfortable enough that I need to tilt my head to meet his gaze again. “I’m not gonna Barn you tonight. I’m not gonna fuck you either, sugar. Tonight, I’m loving you. Tomorrow is another day.”
“Tomorrow there is no us,” I say to confirm our beginning is also our end. He shifts me around and lays me down on the sofa, my shirt totally open but covering my breasts while offering my stomach. He kisses my navel and starts working on my pants. I lift my hips to give him better access, and I’m soon only in my white lace thong and shirt, legs wide open. He sits on his heels and looks at me for what feels like an eternity.
“What are you doing?” I ask, propping myself on my elbows. He tugs at his pants, and smiles.
“Taking a mental picture of the sexiest woman I have ever seen.” He reaches for the back collar of his T-shirt and pulls it off his rippled, tattooed chest. “Now, let me see if you’re as sweet as honey or if I need to get something to sweeten my coffee.” I snort at the absurdity of his sentence, but when his fingers push my thong aside, and his tongue licks my slit, my laughter dies, and moans fill my mouth. “So. Fucking. Perfect.”
He nuzzles against my skin. His light scruff brushes on my inner thigh, and the light beard of his upper lip grazes at my clit while his chin enters me. I close my thigh as a reflex, but his hands pin my legs down while he eats me whole. The sharp hair hurts me as much as it pleasures me, and I soon feel like I can come again. Barnabas feels it too as he darts his tongue out and starts flipping my clit as fast as a vibrator. When he pushes two fingers inside me and curves them at the perfect angle to hit my g-spot, I lose all control and start moving my cunt against his face so not to lose an inch of what he’s doing. All of a sudden, he yanks at my underwear, and the sharp pain combined with the pleasure he’s giving me, makes me fall over the edge. I come on his face, screaming his name like others pray to God. He continues fingering me, while I ride my orgasm, abandoning my too sensitive clit to bare his eyes into mine.
“Kiss me, Barn. I want to taste myself on your lips.” I beckon his mouth to mine. My taste mixed with his has me panting in minutes again. Barnabas laughs against my mouth. “You’re insatiable. Can I get inside you now?” I nod while cleaning his lips of my juice and reach for his belt. He pushes back a bit and smiles.
“You know I’m pierced, right? Five exactly.” I had never thought of having a pierced dick in me before, but my mouth salivates at the idea. He’s naked in seconds, and he’s magnificent, muscled, tattooed, and pierced. I want him so much to be inside of me that I reach for him and bring his tip to my entrance, forgetting about condoms. Wetting his dick, I clench and moan while his tongue plays with my nipple again. “These tits are so sensitive. I changed my mind about them being useless. I love small boobs, sugar.” He pushes inside, letting his first piercing enter me. Feeling the metal against my walls is an incredible sensation. He backs in and out a couple of times, bringing me to the brink of yet another orgasm, before reaching out for a condom in his jeans and sheathing his dick. He’s as majestic as a wild horse, and I want to ride him hard. Hovering over me, he final
ly plunges inside me, filling every inch of my pussy. He’s not even entirely in when I come around his dick. He laughs.
“You’re so fucking responsive to me.” He thrusts slowly first, letting me leisurely enjoy the fullness of my cunt through my climax, but increases his pace soon after, chasing for his own release. The deeper he thrusts, the deeper I fall, and when I reach my fourth orgasm, I scream out how much I love to fuck him instead of screaming his name. His dick swells inside me, and he comes, a smile on his lips and his hair falling over his eyes.
He kisses me softly before whispering an almost inaudible, “I’ve finally found you.” I tuck a piece of hair behind his ear and kiss him back, one last time. Unfortunately, it’s already tomorrow, and neither of us has forgotten that he won’t make promises, and I won’t give my heart to a man anymore.
12
Barnabas
“You’re in such a terrible mood,” my nephew Adam grumbles, sipping his drink. Our friend Asher grimaces, making fun of Adam, or me, or probably both of us.
“I didn’t come to visit from LA for you to be moping and Adam to be pouting because you’re hormonal, Barn.” He takes a sip of his drink and eyes the door. Once a month, we meet in New York City for a weekend of partying. It started five years ago when I discovered I had a nephew a few years younger than me, and we added Asher to the mix three years ago, when he came to New York to spend time with his uncle Dex and partied hard all night with us until he disappeared between the legs of a virgin vixen.