by Gabrielle G.
“Can we go to the park?” Lex screams from my shoulders. I turn to Ave for confirmation.
“Why not?”
“Let’s go, baby girl, and while you swing high in the sky, maybe I can kiss your mommy?”
“Deal!” I raise my hand for her to give me a high five.
Once at the park, Lex is super happy to meet some kids she knows from pre-daycare-school, or wherever she spends her days at her age, and she goes running to play polar bears in the sand, whatever that is.
“You know,” Ave says, absently looking at Lex playing. “When I was in high school, I really thought my kids would grow up somewhere else.” I take my time to look at her. She’s gorgeous. The sun brought out some freckles on her nose, her red hair is more vivid than it used to be, her eyes are blue-happy. If I were so full of myself that this town thinks I am, I would say I have a significant effect on Avery. Well, I know I do, but I also know it’s not only me. It’s us, together. I sit on the last free bench and drag her onto my lap.
“I know.” I smile. “And I’m so glad you’re still here.”
“I am too.” She smiles back.
“Have you thought some more about marrying me?” I kiss her collarbone.
“No.” She giggles. “We had one date, with Lex.”
“Come on, you know it’s not the number of flowers I get you or the number of dates we go on. It’s you and me against the world, sugar. It’s you and me pushing our limits. It’s you and me building an ark and going through the storm of life!”
“Fuck, you’re so cheesy!” she mocks me.
“That’s why you should marry me.” I bite her earlobe.
“I’ll marry you once I’ve loved you more than I hated you.” She grabs my hand and caresses my knuckles.
“That’s like when we’re seventy!” I retort.
“Well… You should have thought of that before being an asshole to me for all those years,” she argues back. I roll my eyes and kiss her nose.
“As long as we have a life together, I don’t give a flying fuck.”
“Liar.” I ignore her comment and run my hands under her shirt. I can’t stop touching her when we are together, and I wonder how I went so many years without having my hands on her skin, my mouth on her lips, my dick in her pussy.
“How many kids do we want?” I kiss her neck, trying not to get arrested for a lewd act in public.
“I don’t know. How many did you think you’d have when you were a kid?”
“Ten,” I answer without any hesitation. “I also thought I would have three wives and live without electricity.”
“Ten is a lot,” she stutters. “I’m not raising ten bed-pissers like you.”
“Okay, nine.” I smirk. “I like being part of a big family.”
She shakes her head. “Five.”
I grunt. “Eight!”
“Six, but no pet!”
I smile. “Deal! I would have settled for four.”
“Yeah, but I want at least four daughters, so you can struggle with them dating.”
“Okay, but three of them have to be triplets, so you’re struggling when they are teenagers.”
“We’re going to need to grow our own weed so I can survive your plans, hot stuff,” she kisses my cheek, squirms out of my lap, and sits next to me, settling against my chest.
“What have I done to you, Ave? First the mind-blowing sex, now the weed. Who are you, and what have you done with my favorite stuck-up girl?”
She shrugs. “If I have to deal with you and six children, I’d better become a stoner and start today.” She laughs, but her eyes are blue-serious.
Later that night, we’re sharing a joint on the porch, once Lex is fast asleep. Turns out when Ave says today, it is not a figure of speech.
“Did you ever smoke before?” I say, lighting it for her.
“Of course, I’m not that much of a good girl.”
“Oh, believe me, I know that. The thing you can do with your teeth and my piercing.”
“My ears!” The loud voice of my brother Luke beams through the night while Dex’s hyena laugh chills my spine.
“Don’t fucking tell me you were doing it against the barn again!” I shout, handing the joint to Avery. She brings it to her lips, happily, not giving a fuck Dex and Luke were going at it under Lex’s window.
“You don’t care?” I accuse her, mad about her lack of reaction in front of the two sick old bastards.
“It’s no worse than us doing it in the kitchen, the laundry room, the sofa, our bed, while she’s sleeping…” she shrugs, and I’m not sure I like Ave that much. I love it when she busts my balls and is the wisdom of my craziness. I like that she’s my voice of reason and the anchor I need. I love when she hoots like an owl in the night and purrs like a lioness under my touch. I don’t appreciate her when she’s a bighorn sheep getting high on lichen.
“What are you two doing?” Dex comes closer, readjusting his pants and plucking the joint from Ave’s lips. I’ve literally never seen Dex smoke in the five years I’ve known him.
“Don’t look at him like that; young Dex used to be a stoner,” Luke says while Dex passes him the joint. I guess I’m not hiding my surprise very well.
“Wow,” Ave says, a little gone already. “I actually can believe that. But I’m sure it was prime weed, like imported shit with a pristine reputation.” She giggles.
“We’re celebrating our engagement,” I say to piss her off.
“We’re not engaged, but we’re going to have lots of kids. Well, we’ll adopt them since Barn can’t have kids, but, yeah, at least six.” She’s super high. If Dex heard what she said, he doesn’t react, assuredly thinking it’s none of his business. Luke, on the other hand, has tears in his eyes. He hands me the joint, and I take a considerable toke of it.
“Sorry, bro,” he says. “Was that because of the accident?” I nod, taking another hit of the blunt.
“Speaking of,” Dex changes the subject of the conversation, and I like him a little bit more for it. “Did you figure out how Debra arrived at the bar?”
“No,” Avery chimes, “but I’ve been asking Mel and Andrew. Well, Andrew still doesn’t like me, not much, so he didn’t really talk to me, but Mel likes me, I think, anyway, but she’s on her honeymoon now that she’s married, so it’s only by text. They don’t know, and they are pissed. Because Debra doesn’t remember from one day to another, she can’t tell them, and nobody saw anything at the facility she’s in. It’s really annoying… I wish I could know.”
Things I should know about my future wife: High Avery is a babbling Avery.
“Want me to look into it?” Dex asks.
“Babe,” Luke warns.
“Oh, come on, Beardy, I’m bored doing nothing. Let me help a little. It’s not going to give me a heart attack. I can’t, for the love of God, just smoke joints and raise goats. My brain might freeze. I know it’s funny to say so to our friends on the West Coast to fuck with them, but it’s something else to really do it.” A high Dex is a little more intense Dex… or maybe it’s because I interrupted their fun against the barn.
“Alright, just do whatever you want, as usual,” Luke replies between his teeth.
“I will, love, I will. So, what am I working with?”
“All we know is that it’s someone who knew it was Mel’s birthday and that he dropped her off at The Bar.” I try to say as much matter of fact as I can so the whole situation doesn’t send me into a stress-induced pain again.
“Okay.” Dex nods. “I’ll work on that and will tell you if I find something.”
“Thanks, Dex.” Avery laughs.
“What’s funny, sugar?”
“I don’t really know.”
Luke and Dex curve an eyebrow, and I join, not following her either.
“Are you sure she smoked before?” Luke asks.
“She said yes.” I shrug. “But maybe it was only once in high school. I’m not really sure.” I scratch my head to try to re
member a party where Avery would have smoked but come up blank. She wasn’t really hanging with us back then. Maybe Jake would know, but I’m not going to text him on his honeymoon for that. I guess the guy deserves some peace after finally getting the girl he chased for almost twenty years.
“And you say you’re going to marry the girl, what do you know about her?” Luke snarls.
“Let me guess,” Dex nags, “you don’t need to know things about her because your souls are connected.” He laughs, and Luke follows.
“No wait, babe, they can read each other’s minds and love each other deeply, so nothing else matters.” They are almost rolling on the ground. Well, Luke is, Dex is just chuckling in his place. I flip them the bird.
“Some hippie shit right there. I always knew there was a reason you were Ridge’s favorite,” Dex chimes.
“How do you know I’m dad’s favorite?”
“The scotch doesn’t drink itself, Son,” Dex imitates my father to perfection, and Luke and Avery laugh some more.
“Oh my, what are Bella and Marybeth going to say once they realize we want to adopt five more kids?”
“Six,” I tell Avery.
“No, six total.”
“No… six more…”
“Hell no, Barnabas. I won’t marry you once you're seventy if you add six more kids to our tribe.”
“Seventy? Should I ask?” Luke says.
“She wants to wait to love me more years than she hated me before marrying me…” I pout, still finding her reasoning ridiculous.
“No wedding, no marriage, but a commitment?” Dex looks at Avery with awe.
“The kind of girl we like, right, babe.” Luke nudges his boyfriend. And if I’m not mistaken, I think I see tears in Dex’s eyes. Fucking hell, did we make the tin man cry now? This is the last time I get high with those three. There is nothing relaxing when they’re around.
“So proud to have this girl in our family.” Luke ruffles Avery’s hair.
“So proud!” And to forget how dumb they all are when they smoke, I steal the blunt back from Dex, light it up again, and take a long drag. If I can’t stand them half-sober, maybe I can deal with them when I’m totally high.
29
Avery
I’m nostalgic and relieved at the same time when the last wedding of the summer rolls up at the Gritt’s farm.
As much as I loved organizing weddings here, I’m also glad it’s the end of an era. Now that I live in the barn, I understand Barnabas’ desire for privacy. There are already clients coming in and out for his adventure endeavor, and weddings are just too much. In fact, I’m jaded seeing so much tulle and glitter. I don’t remember when the dream of getting married in a princess dress became a nightmare to me, but it’s probably around the three-year mark? When you’ve organized weddings for almost five years, you get a little tired of all those things. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen countless couples make a big deal of a stupid day, but a wedding isn’t my end goal and hasn’t been for a long time. When people say this is the best day of their life, they clearly never have held a newborn against them. Holding my little Bee against my heart for the first time, that was the best day of my life.
So, this is why when a bride is freaking out, I have to find the best lies spread in me to comfort her. “Why am I doing this, Avery? Why?”
“Let me stop you right there, Maria. You want to get married today. You’ve organized your wedding for so long,” I tell my bride while handing her a few tissues. She blinks a few times to ward off tears and taps under her eyes, so her make-up doesn’t go to havoc.
“What…” She starts sobbing. “What if I’m making a mistake?” My view of wedding jitters is different from most. I understand being apprehensive on your wedding day, the same way you’re nervous for an exam or a first date. Nevertheless, not wanting to show off at said first date or wondering if you’re making a mistake is undoubtedly your instinct telling you to sprint away from a situation and not look back. Not listening to your gut, generally ends up with you signing divorce papers a few years later. But again, fake-smile in place, I keep the truth from her. My phone chimes, but I ignore it.
“After what happened last time,” AKA her sleeping with his father, “you found your way back together,” and I’m not sure how he forgave you, but good for him, being able to do it without banging your mom, “so you should be happy and confident you’re doing the right thing,” or you know, you should just walk away from the whole family before you do anything with his brother.
“It’s just… He’s so patient and loving. He really understands me.” I bet he does.
“Well, then it’s settled, just think how perfect he is for you and walk down this aisle.” My phone rings again. “Are your parents out there?”
“No, most of our families didn’t want to come, and Johnathan didn’t want his father here…” No shit! My phone goes off a third time.
“Shouldn’t you get that?”
“Let me just check real quick in case it’s about my daughter.”
I smile stupidly when I see it’s Barnabas telling me he misses me, and he’s sending me a video. I can’t believe I’ve become that girl with sparkles in her eyes about the man who gives her jitters just by saying ‘Good morning.’ I unwisely push play on the video, thinking it’s a cute message of him and Lex, and realize once moans and grunts fill the room what kind of video it is. His dick enters me, fast and dirty on my screen, and I push frantically on the x to close it, but it doesn’t work.
“Show me that?” Maria snatches my phone before I succeed to close the video and watches my sex tape with widened eyes and rosy cheeks. I look around for a shovel to dig my own grave.
“You see, that.” She points at my screen. “That raw, intense chemistry, that’s what I want. I don’t have that with Johnathan.” Note to kill my man once I get home. I freeze. My man. Home. I’ve never thought of him that way before. It seems very domesticated. I’m not freaking out per se, but I still feel a little queasy in my almost comfortable heels.
“Look at you. You’re shaking just thinking of it.” No, I’m freaking out because a stranger is watching me having sex with my boyfriend, but my mouth is too dry to tell her that. “That’s what I want,” she continues. ”I just lost five years of my life with a guy I don’t want to marry. I’m not doing this.” She starts to unzip her dress, and I know I should stop her and try to convince her to marry the poor guy she already cheated on, but if he doesn’t make her shake with desire and wet her panties, who am I to tell her to tie the knot.
The rest of the day is a fiasco. A runaway bride is difficult to handle. A runaway bride when the groom was giving her a second chance, is even more challenging. A runaway bride who tells the groom who was giving her a second chance that she’s leaving because after seeing a sex tape on my phone, she knows they aren’t compatible, is agony. The fact that the man standing next to the groom is Noah, proves that I was assuredly an evil person in a previous life, and I now live in hell. He looks conceitedly at me while I apologize to the groom for showing his bride a shocking video. As I babble whatever I can to poor Johnathan, I wrack my brain for names of the bridal party. When they were about to get married years ago, Sal was the one who handled the wedding, so I didn’t get involved much in the consultations with clients. But now? I mainly dealt with Maria, and she never mentioned a Noah. They didn’t want a rehearsal dinner and never brought the bridal party to the farm. Noah’s eyes glint with resentment, and I have no idea what I did for him to look at me with such feelings, well except ruining the wedding of one of his friends.
A friend who is screaming at me, but I stand firm, taking it all in. I understand his need to blame someone, and I don’t mind being this person.
“I’m going to ruin your business, Avery. You hear me? You’re done. You can say goodbye to your career. Who the fuck gives a reason to the bride to walk away on her wedding day! If you think I’m paying for anything, you’re dreaming. Twice, we wanted to get ma
rried here, twice it got fucked up! Forget it,” he yells, and all I can do is nod. But even if I stay professional, he doesn’t.
“Of course, when your wedding planner fucks the town-slut and was a slut herself, sleeping with a married man, what could you expect, right?” The gasp of the bridal party is still somewhere in the air when a fist collides with the groom’s nose.
“Get the fuck off the property, asshole. And maybe if you could have fucked your fiancée properly, she wouldn’t have slept with your father or ran away on your wedding day.” To my surprise, the man defending my honor is Andrew and behind him stands Jake. Noah strides toward me with a menacing step, but Aaron and Luke step in front of me, blocking his way. It doesn’t stop him from spitting his venom though.
“Bad business, sex tapes, and in a relationship with a stoner. I’m asking for full custody, Avery.”
“Not if Andrew here sues you for kidnapping,” Dex appears with pictures in his hands. He presents them to Noah who pales, letting the files fall. On the floor are a half-dozen pictures of Noah pushing Debra’s wheelchair in the street or having her in the passenger seat of his car.
“What the fuck, Noah?” I scream, letting all my professionalism crumble at my feet. Jake steps closer and grips Andrew by the collar, forcing him to walk away so he doesn’t punch Noah like he did to Johnathan.
“You were going to take my daughter away from me!” my ex answers.
My blood boils in my veins. I’m a dragon ready to breathe fire, a she-bear about to attack him, a lioness on the verge of jumping at his jugular.
“You mean, my daughter? The one who you didn’t care about for four years? And when did I tell you I was taking her away?”
“When you said you were moving to Montana to live with Lou. The night you said you were moving out of the apartment by text. By fucking text!” he roars, and behind his anger, there is pain. A pain he thinks I inflicted but never did. Did I say I wanted to move to Montana? Thousands of times. Did I ever put the plan in motion? No. Because I hoped he would take his place as a father in Alexis' life. Because I can’t leave my mother alone and take her granddaughter away from her. Because I barely did anything for myself for years.