by J. Naomi Ay
Just then a woman's voice echoed across the room, which caused us all to stop and hold our breath.
"Captain," the woman announced. "This is the Communications Officer on the bridge. We have been asked to patch through a call to Her Imperial Highness. His Imperial Majesty wishes to speak to her right now. Please hold for a moment while we connect."
"Madame!" HIM's deep voice thundered into our midst. "Stop what you are doing and get back to your cabin this minute."
"Senya?" Katie gasped before her eyes rolled back in her head. Then, she spun around and passed out on the floor. She landed with a splat in the midst of all the food. A genus Rattus ended upon her head, while snakes of pasta threaded into the curls of her hair. We all stood unmoving, waiting for her to revive until Hannah turned to Shika and softly spoke.
"I'm sorry, Steven. Although I love you with all my heart, there is no way in the Universe I can handle your parents. Marriage is about family, and yours is far too strange for a simple girl like me to ever endure."
"I understand," Shika nodded as Hannah walked away. He went to help his mother get back up and go to her room. "If she thinks my mom and dad are weird, she should check out my grandparents. Is anybody else planning to have dessert?"
"I will," RJ called and ran to Shika's side. "I've heard there's great purpleberry ice cream on board this ship."
"You're too young for me, kid, but I'll treat you to a scoop. Hey, Michael, do you want to join us in the ice cream parlor?"
"No thanks." Michael winked and picked up his fork, though he was covered in food and sopping wet. "I'm still enjoying this delicious dinner of my favorite genus Rattus. Commander Marik, would you please pass me the salt?"
Chapter 22
Berkan
"You're back!" I exclaimed. "Thank the Saint, you've returned."
I discovered my Imperial Cousin as he reclined on his Imperial Sofa. I had been summoned to his Imperial Suite forthwith to attend him on the matters of the Imperial State. Dropping everything I had pending, I ran at my swiftest speed, leaving my father safely interred in my closet.
"Actually Berk." His Imperial Majesty lit a cigarette. I noted it was a Camel, unfiltered, full flavored and loaded with tar. "My reappearance has nothing do with any saint. I have merely concluded and none too soon, a somewhat long and entertaining adventure."
"Where did you go?" I inquired, conversationally. "It's unusual for yourself to disappear."
"I didn't go far," he insisted. "In relative terms, if you consider the vast expanse of this dimension."
I smiled and nodded like I understood what he was saying whenever he delved into the regions beyond the limits of my brain.
"Well, I hope you had an enjoyable rest. Did you sit in the sun or lay upon a beach with a book? Perhaps, you did like me and got drunk and watched football games?"
"Some of the above and more, but this is not what I bade you here to discuss. Tell me what you have discovered within the tax code of Amaterasu, and where we are in the redevelopment of their economic plan."
For the next few hours, I recited all the activities of my financial planning staff. I reviewed the status of all the pending Imperial Items that would require his concurrence or adjudication. We discussed the budgets for the next year and five more, cutting appropriations that he considered pork until a knock was sounded on the Imperial Door.
Setting down my notes, I called out, “Enter.”
"Your Imperial Majesty, Sir." Lord Garing poked in his head. "Now that you have returned and are back to work, your brother-in-law Duke Renfort, is desperate for a moment of your time. Would you care to speak with him, or shall I tell him to go away?"
"Tell him to go away," I replied before my Imperial Cousin could speak. "I have had enough of Duke Renfort's ridiculous nonsense. If he wishes an audience with the Emperor, he needs to get on the waiting list, which I believe is backlogged for thirty years."
"Thank you, Lord Berkan," Garing nodded. "I shall instruct him in this, although he has been sitting in the waiting room since 3AM yesterday. It appears he is growing mushrooms on the couch, and the smell coming off him is a bit odd. Do you think you might not have even a half minute or two?"
"Let him in," His Imperial Majesty declared. "We don't want him fouling the air in the waiting room. Surely, we have thirty seconds for our dear brother?"
"Are you certain, Sir?" I implored. "Our brother has become quite the annoyance. In fact, I've given him far more than thirty seconds in the last few weeks."
"I know you have, Berkan, and I am grateful for your consideration." My cousin stood up and strolled to the terrace doors where he appeared to look out at the new fallen snow. "His sister has been quite the annoyance too. It runs in the family, I suppose. It must be a gene passed on to them from Charlotte, as poor Manny was quite the congenial fellow."
"Indeed," I considered. "He's quite congenial even now taking appointments at his headstone on the hill. He doesn't talk back, never argues or demands more attention. I think he is my favorite step-in-law." My cousin smiled a little and chuckled for my benefit. Then, he opened the terrace door and stuck his hand out. "May I inquire what the point of all this is?" I followed him to the terrace. "Why must we suffer blizzard conditions in June?"
"You think I am the cause of this? Surely, Berkan, you know me better than that. My weather systems of choice tend to run more to tornadoes and lightning storms."
"Well, if you didn't cause this, who did?"
"Maybe no one," my cousin replied. "Perhaps it is merely the way it is without any external force or manipulation. Sometimes things are a bit strange, just because they are. There is not always a requirement or a reason to make sense. Come cousin, let us get this done and entertain our brother before my wife returns and forces me into hiding." He shut the terrace door and returned to the Imperial Couch.
"Why must you hide?" I asked, returning myself to my proper perch as a knock sounded on the great doors that lead in from the hall.
"She is on a warpath in pursuit of my head," my Imperial Cousin continued, placing his hideous feet on the antique crystal table in front of his legs. "She has already loaded up her gun and will attempt to blow my brains away. I'll either have to put her in the tower, under guard, or like your father, I shall have to find a closet. Is there one large enough for both Loman and myself in your office?"
"I think not, Sir. Loman requires all the space for just him. It appears he is moving in as a permanent resident. I should provide him with a bed so he may more comfortably sleep. Would it be possible, Sir, to plumb my closet with a toilet?"
"Anything you desire, Berkan, can be done. Just order it installed from housekeeping. Whatever possessed me to combine this suite with my wife's all those years ago? Did I not realize that I would far prefer my privacy?"
"Come, Sir, our new brother has arrived." The knocking became too insistent to ignore. "You can run an error report on your crystal ball at another time. Enter, Sir Duke. Would you care to have a drink? By the way, it is customary to make a bow."
"What?" Allen coughed as he strutted into the room. I indicated our Imperial Brother-In-Law with my head. "He's the big guy in the galaxy, you know. You should pay a bit of respect, otherwise he might just zap you in your butt. He can do this finger thing with fire, or electricity, if you prefer, although I'm told either one is quite unpleasant."
"What?" Allen repeated again, this time without a cough, but a puzzled expression upon his face instead. So, I elaborated for him what else our Imperial Sibling might do.
"It's best not to provoke him, in any case. If you really disturb him, he just uses his mind. I've seen men fly around in circles before they dropped dead."
"Come, Berkan, I'm not quite that bad. They say I've actually grown quite calm in the last few years."
"No, no," I insisted as Allen dropped to the floor. "Calmer you may be, but you still have an extremely quick temper. Why just last month, Allen, when His Imperial Majesty was infuriated with the Prime Min
ister of Lumineria III's embezzlement scheme, he sent the poor man into cardiac arrest. Did you let him live? I have forgotten the end result."
"Well, the bloody fool had misplaced all the revenues for the social security programs! We didn’t set up that plan as a slush fund just for him. It was to be administered on the people's behalf. He didn't deserve to live as far as I am concerned. I should have just killed him whilst he knelt there on the floor."
Our Imperial Brother-In-Law looked extremely annoyed. He stood up and paced the room in front of the terrace doors again. His silver eyes flashed brightly as he waved and clenched his fists. His Imperial robes swept after him and brushed across Allen's face.
"He might be killing that Luminerian fool right now," I whispered to Allen whose face went as pale as ghost.
Allen's knees began to knock against the floor. He trembled and he shook, yet still I entertained him with more stories.
"He doesn't need to be anywhere near his victims," I hissed. "He can kill from very far away."
Allen's eyes grew wide, and his mouth opened in the shape of the letter O as my Imperial Cousin started ranting about something else.
"The Alliance and their ridiculous demands for meetings," HIM roared. "Berkan, did you tell them I shan't attend anymore? If they can't get their heads out of their asses and make a decision on the trading treaty, then there simply won't be a treaty to discuss."
"I didn't yet, Sir, but I will." I winked at Allen.
"And remind them, when you do, of the power of our starships. Their stalling is not benefiting anyone, most importantly the people who they represent. I despise politicians who forget who they are working for. I am tempted to send a ship or two over their way."
"Yes, Sir."
"Thank you, Berkan, you have put me in a vile mood. After two weeks of vacation, I am reminded of all that I detest."
"Terribly sorry, Sir," I cried, mostly for Allen's benefit.
In the meantime, His Imperial Majesty created one of his fire balls. He waved his hand and the terrace doors flew open, letting in the wind and drifting snow. Then, he tossed the fire ball into the air outside, where it exploded into swirling, burning waves, which collided with the snowflakes and the ice. The whole mass shot like a bolt of lightning from the sky, scorching the beach like a burning rocket hitting the sand.
"Well that's one way to get rid of the snow I suppose." I winked at Allen.
Allen laughed quite loudly and cleared his throat. He nodded his head like a bobbing doll.
"Do you think that I can leave now?" he whispered to me.
"What did you want, Allen?" His Imperial Majesty demanded, his eyes now flashing like a neon sign at the ridiculous duke. "Is there something important that you require so much of my time?"
Allen glanced at me, his own eyes filled with fear.
"Speak!" His Imperial Brother-In-Law ordered, "Or shut your mouth. Was it about your mother's wedding or something else you sought to ask? Was it about your shrew of a sister or your witch of a wife? Hurry up, sir Duke, or you shall find yourself removed."
"All I wanted to say," Allen finally managed to mutter, looking at me as if I should feed him his words. "Uh…uh…Sir…welcome home. That's it now. Thank you very much. I'll see you again. Goodbye. It's been fun."
"You're dismissed," I nodded as my Imperial Cousin turned away. "When he turns his back to you it means you are free to go. Go quickly just in case. You never know when he might call you back, and with his mood today, well you had better not tarry too long."
Allen jumped to his feet and raced out the door. It slammed with a thud, then, his footsteps carried him down the hall.
"Ah, Berk, you are too unkind," His Majesty laughed. "You've just given nightmares to Allen for years to come."
"Isn't that what brothers do," I asked. "Attempt to drive each other insane?"
"Indeed," His Imperialness replied. "Although my brothers and I…"
"Pardon?"
His Imperial Majesty turned his eyes on me and smiled. Then, the silver light flashed as he looked away. "Perhaps I misspoke or was referring to another time, or an alternate dimension."
"No, no," I persisted. "You were very clear. Your brothers, I am waiting to hear what you meant to say."
"Ach Berkan, it's all so complicated and too difficult to explain. Let's save it for another time, perhaps, when we are very drunk. Momentarily, my wife will burst in here with her gun."
"Alright," I agreed, "but you owe me an explanation. Someday before I die, I want to know it all."
"Someday then." He nodded his head and his silver hair shown in a halo of ethereal light.
I stared at him, my cousin and my oldest friend. Here was that creepy kid, Senya, who kept getting me in trouble. Could the rumors about him really be the truth?
"Even if you never tell me," I said. "I believe it, all the rumors, all the theories. I want you to know, though I may have complained a lot, it's been my privilege and my honor to serve you all these years."
He turned away for a moment and appeared to consider my confession. Then slowly, he turned back to shine his eyes upon my face. "Berkan, I want you to know since you are my very best friend in this life, my real name is …"
"Sehron de Kudisha!" Katie screamed as she rushed in through the door. Her Glock was out and waving in her hand, as she sprinted across the room and stuck it in Senya's face. "I swear I'm going to kill you. I'll shoot you dead if you ever do that again."
Jumping to my feet, I raced through the open door only to find my own wife in a state of disarray.
"Oh Berkie," she wept. "Blessed Saint, what an experience we had. You wouldn't believe the things that we all went through on this trip. Katie was like a crazed beast. I swear she was literally out of her mind. She kept beating up on Michael Silverman for nothing."
"Michael Silverman?" I repeated as I took my wife in my arms.
"Michael Silverman," she nodded and closed her eyes. She mumbled something about a golden lake and Caroline climbing a stairway to Heaven which Michael Silverman created by waving his hand.
"Michael Silverman," I said a little louder and looked back through the open doorway at my Imperial Friend, who was holding up his hands to protect his face.
His wife was prancing around waving her gun and calling him names, whilst my Imperial Cousin wisely kept his mouth shut.
"Yes dear," he replied meekly when she had concluded her tirade. "I shan't do anything to upset you, especially whilst you are pointing your gun at me. Would you like me to clean the garage? Perhaps I should take out the garbage or clip the lawn? In the future, I shall refrain from any supernatural expeditions or metaphysical excursions unless I get your permission first."
"Are you making fun of me?" she demanded. "I don't think this is humorous in the least."
"No, no," His Imperial Majesty insisted. "I am merely trying to avoid being shot. Now put your gun down and come along. It is time for us to go to bed." He rose to his feet and took his wife in his arms. "I've missed you, my love, despite your difficult disposition, and now I aim to show you just how much." He swept her up off her feet and carried her away as the great doors swung shut behind them. Before closing, I heard him say with a little bit of mirth. "Just don't electrocute me like you did Captain Zork."
Chapter 23
Katie
"Tell me the truth," I demanded though not very forcefully as I was snuggled against the chest of the man I love. "Was it you in disguise as Michael Silverman?"
"Why would you think that?" he replied. "Did he look at all like me? Did he act in a similar manner? Did he say anything that might imply we were one in the same?"
"No, and no, and no, but with you none of that matters. Can you actually metamorphose your appearance into someone else?"
"I'm not going to answer that," he responded and turned away to light a cigarette, though he's known for thirty years how I hated him smoking in bed. "If I told you yes, you might want me to change into something else entirely diffe
rent. After all, you've grown tired of me and the manner with which I've aged."
"That's not true," I emphatically declared. "Although, you're starting to look a bit over the hill. Your hair is not as black and thick with curls. You've got lines near eyes and in your cheeks. Your belly is not quite as flat as it was before. Other than that, I find you still extraordinarily handsome and incredibly hot, so hot I'm practically burning up here next to you."
"That could be your hormones." He exhaled a puff of smoke. "Or lack of them, as you have reached a certain age."
"Thank you for that," I replied. "You just reminded me I'm nearly sixty and here I was thinking I was still quite young."
"Well, you are in the whole scheme of things as measured in time. Youth is not determined by the calendar, but how you feel. You're strong and healthy, and your body is fit. I would say you are equivalent to a girl of forty or forty-five."
"Forty-five? Are you kidding me? Zork said I was thirty-five, and he can see."
"Well, certainly he has the advantage of working eyes, whereas I can only judge from what I feel."
"I want to know," I demanded, climbing on top. I pinned him down by putting my weight on his bad leg. "Could you see when you were Michael Silverman? Could you metamorphose your eyes to work? And if you could, why don't you do it permanently?"
"I did not confirm anything in regards to your theory, so I shall not answer your question in either case." He put out his smoke and put his hands on me, which prompted me to put my hands on him. "Indeed, I will change my opinion. You are definitely not forty-five, perhaps not even forty. Yes, I am thinking you are closer to thirty-five, even thirty if you keep this up. You have quite the energy and stamina, considering you have been around nine hundred fifty million years."
A little later while my husband was sound asleep, I lay in bed and considered how fortunate I was. I had been given this life in this beautiful place with this incredible man as my lover and companion. I had no reason to feel depressed or in despair. I had a brilliant son, who was the apple of my eye, and perhaps someday, we might have a grandchild or two. We were surrounded by friends we loved and who cared for us, and our family was all close by but not too near. I was truly blessed and eternally thankful as one should be. It was then that I heard a knock on the door, and a moment later, my mother burst into the room.