Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more turned on, he shifted to kneel in front of me, his free hand pushing my legs apart. He pressed a finger into my center as his teeth bit down on my breast.
“Ahh!” I screamed out, surprise and desire both coursing through me.
His hand left my breast and began feeling for something on the side off the chair. I jumped when I felt the back of the chair start to lower.
“Don’t be afraid, love. I’m just putting you into a better position for what I have in mind.”
I was flat on my back with his mouth kissing its way down my stomach and his fingers still inside my center.
“You’re so damn wet, Laurel,” he crooned. “You fucking drive me crazy with your scent and your constant readiness to take me.”
On anyone else, his words would have frightened me, but on him they just amped up the sensual need in my system. I loved it when he talked dirty to me, because his words were full of sexual promise and not the degradation that bastard tried to instill in me.
His hand moved out of me and I felt the loss of his ministrations, but was quickly surprised when he lifted my legs to flank each side of the chair’s arms. He grabbed hold of my hips, pulling me to the edge of the seat as his mouth descended on my core. I shivered as his fingers pulled apart my folds and his tongue quickly found the hard nub of my clit. He flicked at it several times before sucking the tissue deep into his mouth. The feelings were so good I couldn’t keep still. I found my hips grinding into his mouth on their own.
A sharp smack to my inner thigh brought me back to reality. “I need you still, baby,” he reminded me. One of his hands came down on my stomach as his head leaned back down to my clit, blowing air on it and enticing me to move again.
He stretched up over me to look me in the eyes. “In self-defense, you need to learn to control your ability to think and not react to the situation. You have no control tonight, Laurel. If you can’t control your body during sex, how are you going to manage when you’re in a panic situation? I know you’ve had a scare today and you’re probably not in your right state of mind, but I need you still. I promised I wouldn’t tie you up, but would you mind if I just secure your legs so it will help you focus on staying in place?”
My eyes must have freaked out at the suggestion he was making, since he was quick to add, “I’ll place the ties where you can control getting out of them if it’s too much to handle.”
I thought about it a second and realized that I trusted Garrett again and knew he wouldn’t harm me, at least not intentionally. I nodded and he quickly grabbed the tie from my robe and his and began securing my upper thighs to the arms of the chair. When he was done, he kissed a line up my inner thigh.
“Are you comfortable?”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I kind of was. “I know I should be all freaked out over this, but it feels kind of nice and a bit dirty, all at the same time. I like that I don’t have to hold the weight of my legs anymore; I can just surrender them over to the chair.”
Before I could say anything further, he had two fingers inside me and his mouth back on my clit, drawing out the first inklings that an orgasm was beginning to build. He kept up his attentions with his talented tongue and fingers, scissoring me, stretching me for his awaiting manhood.
“I’m going to get you to come fast, sweetie.” His thumb replaced his mouth on my clit, rubbing it in a hard, circular pattern while his fingers curled up and found that oh-so-sweet spot inside me that quickly crested me towards release. He leaned up over me, nipping at my lip.
“Come for me, Laurel.”
That’s all it took to make the wave of my orgasm crash against the shore and my walls to clamp down on his fingers. His mouth surrounded mine, absorbing the pleasures of my cries as he rubbed out the remainder of my orgasm with his thumb.
When I came down from my high, I realized he was pushing some lube toward my back hole, rimming me with his finger. “Since you’re so adventurous tonight, I’d like to try something a little different, if you’re up to it?”
My breathing was still ragged, but I managed to squeak out, “Right now you could play my body anyway that you wanted. I just need to forget about today and you’re the only one who can help me do that.”
His eyes darkened and his breath became staggered. “I love that mouth of yours tonight. It’s keeping me in a perpetual state of hardness. I feel like I could hammer a nail into the wall with my cock, but I’d rather hammer into you.”
I thought my arousal was already high, but to know I had the power to turn him on and that he desired me so much made me crave him even more. “Please, Garrett,” I begged.
“What do you need, love?”
“I need you.”
“You need me where?”
I tried to squirm in the seat to stifle the need that was growing in my pussy, but he had me tied down so I could hardly shift. When I didn’t answer his question, his fingers trailed up my thigh, one skirting the folds of my center and another pressing against the rosette of my ass.
“Where do you need me, Laurel?” He pressed one finger into my pussy. “Is this where you want me or would you rather have me here?” Another finger pressed past my tight rings and sank into my ass. Both fingers moved back and forth in the same rhythm. “I want to shove my cock into you, but not until you tell me where.”
How did all this turn me on so much? At this point I didn’t care, I just needed to have him inside me to quell my ache.
“I don’t care, I just need to feel you deep inside me.” The words were halfway out of my mouth when his fingers left me and I felt his cock against my center, but also something soft but firm against my backside. My eyes went wide wondering what he had in mind.
“I’m wearing a cock ring with an attached appendage for double penetration. While I’d love to plug your ass and take you, I don’t think you’re ready for that yet. This is only slightly bigger than my finger and several inches in length. It will help loosen you up and get you used to some anal play, plus gives you double the pleasure.”
He pressed forward infinitesimally and both his head and the extra appendage entered a small distance into both of my holes. My body began to clench around both, trying to pull them deeper into me, causing my arousal to spike through the roof.
The backside burned a little, but his thrusts were gentle, trying to work in a little further with each movement. “Let me know if you don’t like this or if I’m hurting you and I’ll get rid of it.” His words sounded strained and I knew he was holding back.
I let out a breathy, “Don’t stop. This feels so freaking amazing.”
“God, Laurel. I love how tight you feel normally, but you’re like a vice pulling me into your warmth. I don’t know that I could ever tire of feeling you and seeing you like this.” His dirty talk heightened my mood, but then he slowed as he lowered himself to my lips, brushing lightly against them and whispering, “You are a beauty by nature that calls to every corner of my soul. Seeing you here like this, trusting me completely to take care of you and submitting to your desires and pleasure—God. There’s nothing more exquisite in existence than you, Laurel. You honor me.”
I swallowed hard before reaching my hands around his neck and pulling him to me, pushing my tongue into his mouth, wanting to pour every ounce of my love into him to show him how I felt. He groaned into my mouth as he picked up his pace. I tried tilting my hips, with what little movement I had, to match his thrusts and force him deeper. I wanted to feel him crawl up into my soul and take me with him. This was exactly what I needed to drive all the bad thoughts from my mind.
The wave he was creating was growing with complexity as his thrusts became harder, faster, deeper… The warmth of the orgasm began in my toes and started flowing up the course of my body, filling every inch with the love I felt for this man. No, calling him a man was an understatement; he was a natural-born Adonis, absolute perfection.
The wave continued to build until I felt
my body on the pinnacle of excitement, ready to crest over at any moment. His hair tickled my chest and he used the scruff of his whiskers to graze gently across my overly sensitive nipples before capturing one in his mouth, sucking hard then biting down.
“Come for me, Laurel!” he called. “Let’s come together, my love.”
My vision dimmed as bursts of color and light went off in my mind and I felt myself screaming out his name along with a few profanities about how amazing the feeling was. My pussy was pulsating all around his cock, milking it for what it was worth, while nerve endings were firing off in my ass, clamping down on the extra piece he had shoved up there.
Garrett drove into me one last time as my release triggered his, taking him with me. “Fuck, Laurel. You’re mine, baby! Oh fuck, this feels like heaven. I lo—” He stopped himself mid-sentence and collapsed on top of me.
One of my hands went to his hair as the other rubbed soothing strokes across his shoulders. We lay together for what seemed like an eternity.
It wasn’t until the movie ended and the screen returned to normal that we had any concept of time. That movie was over two hours long and we started playing only twenty minutes in. No wonder I always felt spent and completely sated after a round with him.
I didn’t want to move, but he rose up and began pulling out of me. When the extra piece parted from my backside, I winced a little.
“I’m sorry baby, did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice anxious.
“I’m fine, just not used to that extra piece, but you don’t hear me complaining, except that I wished you would’ve used that on me earlier.” I paused for a moment, biting my lip between my teeth, deep in thought.
“What’s going on in the pretty little head of yours? I can see that something has you thinking.” His voice was playful as he untied my legs and began massaging the circulation back through them, before raising the back of the chair into an upright position.
I didn’t know how to ask what I wanted to know. I scrunched my lips to the side, trying to figure the best way to approach it, but just decided to throw caution to the wind. “Why the double entry? I thought you either do one or the other.” As I asked the words, I realized the possibility, having heard about some of Hannah’s observances visiting some BDSM clubs out of curiosity. “You’re not going to try and share me, are you?”
His face was now nose to nose with mine as his fingers went down to my center and shoved back inside. The expression on his face told me I had said something wrong. He fought to keep himself in check as he replied rather coldly.
“You are MINE. I’m a greedy man in regards to a few things and you’re one of them. You are too precious to me to share.” To prove his point, he captured my lips in a consuming kiss as his fingers flexed into me, causing me to shudder at the feeling. “This belongs to me; don’t ever forget that.”
Garrett hadn’t touched me, other than a kiss or hug, since that night in his theater room nearly a week ago. Any time I tried to entice him, he just pulled away. I gave him his space for a few days, believing he needed time to deal with the recent events with Chase and just needed time to process them. But, the more time went by, the further he pulled away, leaving me feeling alone in the world.
He would fall asleep with me nestled inside his arms, telling me he’d protect me, but I would wake a couple hours later, needing the bathroom, to find him gone. One night, in frustration, I walked around the penthouse trying to find where he had gone only to discover him in his office, passed out on top of the paperwork he was reviewing with a bottle of scotch on his desk and an empty tumbler beside him.
At the office, he would communicate with me, but only in terms of the project we were working on together. At home, we sat in silence as we ate before retiring to more nights of falling asleep in his arms and him collapsing on his desk in an exhaustive and sometimes drunken stupor.
I would often sneak out to the living area outside his office and sleep on the sofa, just to feel close to him. Apparently, he’d caught me, because most times I would wake up back in the comfort and warmth of his bed, but still without him. My heart was ripping in two. Why was he doing this? Was he only interested in me as long as he could protect me from Chase or was I nothing more than the flavor of the month and would quickly be discarded as soon as the drama was over?
My will to push forward was crumbling, knowing that I was losing Garrett for some unknown reason. The only thing that gave me strength was the self-defense lessons I was getting from Thompson and Dillon. Garrett had started teaching me, but lately he was too busy, so his security detail took over. I knew that Chase wouldn’t leave me alone without a fight and I would be prepared to deal with him next time. I might not be very big or strong, but I could at least try and disable him enough to give me a head start against him.
Thompson had told me to focus on what kept me grounded and what built me up, to find a song that spoke to me and let it be my mantra. The Katy Perry song, “Roar,” spoke volumes to me. I might be pushed down, but nothing was going to keep me there and anyone who tried would hear me scream out with a roar!
I must’ve fallen asleep on the sofa thinking about the last defense session where I accidently punched Dillon in an area that made him scream out in agony. I had apologized, but he just dismissed it and congratulated me on a good hit.
I bolted upright, believing I heard the same cry in reality as I did my sleep, when the words, “No, no, NOOOOO!” pierced the air. It was Garrett. I ran like crazy around the room to his office and saw that he was struggling against his dreams, his arms thrashing about on top of his desk.
My steps were guarded, knowing that it was unsafe to wake a person having a nightmare, but this one needed to be squelched before it had a chance to grow. I placed my hand gently on top of his and squeezed it, hoping the contact would be enough to wake him. He calmed a little, but kept yelling out, “No!” I moved to his shoulders and gently shook them, making my voice as soft as a whisper and talking to him like my mother used to talk to me when I had unpleasant dreams.
He jolted upright in his seat, his eyes searching frantically around the room for what, I didn’t know, until a spark of recognition passed over them as his face landed on mine. He grabbed me around the waist and hauled me into his lap. “Thank God you’re okay,” he murmured. “I thought I’d lost you.” His mood darkened as he pulled me close. “Don’t ever walk away from me.” His body shook uncontrollably, apparently at the thought of me being gone.
“I’m not going anywhere, Garrett,” I assured him. “I’ve told you this time and time again. I won’t leave until you ask me to. Even if I’m totally ticked at you, I’ll still stay.” I let him hold me, but he still shook around me, causing me to ask what exactly he dreamed about.
He closed his eyes tightly before reopening them and glancing at the clock. “Shouldn’t you be in bed? It’s the middle of the night and we have an early morning.”
I knew he was trying to avoid the subject and change paths with me. “I couldn’t sleep because the bed is too lonely without you beside me. You’re my safety blanket at night and if you came to bed more often, you’d see that I’m yours as well.”
As expected, he scowled. He wouldn’t broach the subject about his dreams. He wouldn’t open up to me.
I had finally had enough. “You forced me to confront my fears at the beach!” I practically yelled. “An intervention, you called it. If I have to, I will lock us in this room until you come clean about what’s going on with you.”
“This doesn’t concern you, Laurel.” His words were sharp, making it feel like a slap across the face.
I got up and stomped my foot on the ground. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You wouldn’t let me get by with that lame ass excuse on the boat and you’re not getting by with it here! Either you tell me what the hell is going on with you about everything, or else I’m walking out that door as soon as the sun comes up!”
His pushed up from his chair immediately, eyes wide
in panic. “You wouldn’t.”
“I don’t want to do this, but if you force my hand, I will. I’ll go live with Donny or see if Jonathan has an extra room, but I will not stand by and let you push me away, holding me at arm’s length and closing off every part of you.”
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as he sank to his knees on the floor, shoulders and head slumping forward in defeat. “Fine, I’ll talk,” he moaned. “I wanted to save you of this impression of me, but I have nothing more to lose if I don’t have you.”
I hated seeing him this way and tried to coax him onto one of the chairs in his office or out onto the sofa, but he refused to budge. I locked the door as he requested and then sat down in front of him on the floor.
“Your office is locked. We’re alone, so spill it. What has you pulling away from me? Is it something I’ve done or said? Is there something I don’t know about in regards to the investigation with Chase? What gives, Garrett?”
“I had a nightmare that you were dead. I reached you too late. That bastard had killed you and I took the blame from everyone. I’ll always be a fuck up, always causing loss and pain wherever I go.” His eyes filled with tears and his voice shook as the words flowed freely. “I want you to be in my life so badly, but I’ll just hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. The sad thing is that I’m a selfish bastard who can’t seem to let you go, no matter what his threats are.”
I swallowed hard as the realization hit. He had threatened me somehow and Garrett found out. “What did Chase do?” I demanded.
Garrett was silent, not saying a thing until I started to get up and head towards the door.
“So help me, if I take one step out this door, we’re through,” I warned. “Now talk, damn it!”
With some reluctance, he took a deep breath in and began to speak, his eyes staring aimlessly at the floor. “He sent me a note the day your brakes were tampered with. I was told to leave you alone because he would rather see you dead than to see you with me. We immediately tried calling you and Dillon and couldn’t get anyone to respond, so we pulled up the tracking on your vehicle and drove to the lake.” He took a quivering breath in and finally looked up at me. “My heart was filled with panic that I’d lost you. Everything I dare to love gets taken from me.”
Learning to Let Go Page 14