by Jennie Marts
A strange look crossed her face, and he couldn’t read her expression. Funny, he used to always know what she was thinking.
She turned away, bending to tug her boot on, and his mouth went dry. Her figure had filled out since she was a teenager. She was a woman now, with all the right roundness in her shapely curves.
She turned around, and her eyes narrowed as if she’d just caught him in the act of checking her out. Well, she kinda had.
Before she could say anything, a huge thud hit the cabin wall and the front window filled with black fur.
“Bear!” He reached for the door.
“Bear?” She grabbed the hammer again. “Don’t go out there.”
Ignoring her warning, he opened the door and a huge black creature bounded into the cabin, bringing with it a blast of cold air and swirls of snow. The beast ran at Logan, planting his front paws on his shoulders and knocking him to the ground.
“Get away!” Emily screamed, brandishing the hammer.
Logan laughed, pushing the animal off of him. “Emily, it’s okay. It’s not a bear. This is my dog. His name is Bear.” He gave the dog a stern look. “Bear, sit.”
The giant animal sat back on its haunches. Hunks of snow-crusted black fur drooped over its eyes, and his large pink tongue hung from its mouth in a contented pant.
Logan’s laughter died at the frightened look on Emily’s face. “Geez, that really scared you. I’m sorry.” He stood and gently took the hammer from her. He couldn’t help but notice the gold wedding band on her finger, and he chided himself once again for being too late. “Bear’s a Newfoundland. Sometimes I forget that other people aren’t used to how big he is. He’s really gentle, though. He’d never hurt you.”
Her hands were shaking. Was that because of the shock of seeing him or the fright she got from the dog?
He led her to the sofa, where she eased down into the corner. Pulling the blanket from the back of the couch, he spread it out across her lap.
He sat on the edge of the coffee table across from her, and Bear padded over and plopped down on his feet.
Emily looked across at him in astonishment and blinked. “Nope, you’re still here. I keep wondering if maybe I hit my head and this is just a dream.” She reached out and laid her hand on his arm.
He caught his breath, surprised at the instant reaction his body still had to her slightest touch. The temperature in the room hadn’t changed, yet he suddenly felt warmer. Tentatively, he laid his hand on top of hers. “I assure you that I am very real.”
He shook his head. “I’m just as stunned at seeing you. You look beautiful, Em.”
She pulled her hand away. “What happened to you? Where did you go? I came back the next summer and you were just gone. No one even knew where you went.”
Memories of his mom and the gazillion times she’d made them move washed over him. As always, his feelings battled between a sense of betrayal that his mom should have taken better care of him and a fierce protectiveness of her. He’d heard a thousand excuses. This is the last time. I really mean it. I know this job is gonna work out. I promise I won’t drink again. I just need a little more time. Or a little more money. I love you. It’s you and me against the world.
And it had been. Until it wasn’t.
He shook his head, clearing the reflections of the past. “Alaska.”
“Alaska?”
He sighed. “Yep. Some guy convinced Mom that she could make really good money waiting tables up there. Easy money. And you know how Mom couldn’t resist the allure of easy money.”
“And was it? Easy money?” Emily asked the question with sincerity, not judgment. She’d always been good about trying to understand his mom instead of judging her often rotten choices.
“Was it ever?” He gave a dry laugh. “It was pretty much just terrible all the way around. It was cold and dark and I can’t think of a time when I have ever been more lonely. We didn’t know anyone. My mom worked all the time. We lived in this dump of an apartment with no phone, and we shared a bathroom with the couple across the hall.
“Luckily my mom hated it too. I convinced her to move to Arizona, where it was warm and sunny. Unfortunately, by that time her drinking had gotten pretty bad. I finished school in Phoenix and earned a scholarship to Arizona State. Mom took my leaving pretty hard. She fell in with a group of bikers, and I’m pretty sure her drinking progressed to drug use.”
“Oh no.”
“When I was in college, it was the first time I was on my own and responsible for only me. But I couldn’t let go of the responsibility of taking care of my mom. I still worked and sent her money whenever I could. Even after I graduated and started my career, I would send her money to come visit or to stay with me, and she always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t come. But she always took the money.”
“How is she doing now?”
“She was killed in a motorcycle accident last year.”
Emily’s hands covered her mouth. “Oh my gosh. Logan, I’m so sorry.”
He never talked about his mom. This was the most he’d said about her in years. Something about Emily got him to talking about his deepest stuff.
Bear sensed his grief and laid his massive head on Logan’s lap. He shook his head and cleared his throat. “I don’t know why I just told you all that stuff. I never really even talk about her. And you were the only one I ever told about her drinking. I’ve always felt like it was so easy to talk to you.”
Emily’s face looked so sad. All he wanted to do was make her smile again.
“All right, that’s enough about me and my problems.” He nudged her knee as he teased. “Tell me about you and how fantastic your life has been going.”
She shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t call anything about my life fantastic. I just got a new boss, and he apparently liked my office better than his, because he took mine and moved me into a cubicle. My landlord decided to sell the apartment I’ve been renting and gave me two weeks to move out. My parents just got a divorce and my grandmother died.” She gave him a cynical smile. “And oh yeah, I didn’t have enough money to buy the only place in my life that felt like home, so we have to sell this cabin.”
“That sucks.” That was all he could think of to say. He’d listened for updates on kids or something to do with her husband, but she hadn’t mentioned either. A tiny glimmer of hope sparked in his chest. “I’m sorry about Nana. I mean, I’m sorry about all that other stuff too, but I know how close you were to your grandma.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Yeah, I was. I feel like this whole chunk of my life is missing. She died last spring and I’ve just been kind of lost without her. I tried to scrape up enough money to buy this place myself, but we just couldn’t afford to keep it.” The look of sadness on her face changed to one of pure anger. “I guess some ass-hat company from out of state bought it, and the realtor told me they plan to ‘gut the place.’ What kind of idiot would do that?”
Wow, that was one pissed-off chick. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to tell her he knew exactly who that ass-hat company was.
Before he could come up with an answer, a loud thud hit the ground outside of the cabin and Bear growled.
“What’s going on, boy?” Logan got up and looked out the front window. “Oh, crap!” He waved Emily over. “You’d better come take a look at this.”
Chapter Three
“Was I not just telling you how great things in my life were going?” Emily asked. “Now what are we going to do about that?”
She pointed out the window to where her car now sat buried under a huge pile of snow. The weight of the snow on the roof must have gotten too heavy and slid off.
Right on to Emily’s car. If it weren’t for the red corner of the back end sticking out, you wouldn’t be able to see the car at all.
“You got a shovel?” Logan asked.
Logan. She still couldn’t believe he was here. She hadn’t seen him in years, and now here he stood. In the cabin. Asking her
for a shovel. As if the last several years hadn’t even happened. As if he hadn’t broken his promise to her. As if he hadn’t left her behind. Well, she had some ideas of a few things he could do with a shovel.
Like the clumps of snow, the weight of all of her troubles suddenly felt too heavy for her shoulders to bear, and a weariness settled over her. She sighed and slumped down on the chair. “Just leave it. I’d planned to spend the night here anyway. I’ll worry about it in the morning.”
Logan looked at his watch then out the window at the deep snow that had accumulated. “I don’t know how to say this, but it looks like you might have company tonight. I left my truck up on the ridge, and there’s no way I’m going to be able to hike back up to it before it gets dark. How many sleeping bags did you bring?”
One. And the thought of sharing it with Logan both terrified and excited her. She imagined her body snuggled up against his inside the cozy sack, and her heart pounded against her chest.
Okay, mostly excited her. “I only brought one. And it’s still in the car.”
He laughed.
“Why are you laughing?”
Logan always did have a way of making everything into an adventure. Normally, this would be kind of funny. But she was still too freaked out that Logan was here, that her car was buried under a mountain of snow, and that this was the last night she had to spend in the cabin. To be close to Nana. Saying goodbye to the cabin would be like saying goodbye to her grandmother all over again.
“This whole thing. You. Me. Here at the cabin. It’s crazy. And it kind of freaks me out.” He shrugged. “You know me, I laugh at awkward situations.”
“Actually, I don’t know you at all anymore.”
Ouch. She looked away, unable to look at the pain in his eyes. Pain that she just put there.
Why was she being so mean? That wasn’t like her. She couldn’t help it. She was totally out of control here, her grasp on her life was slowly slipping away, and she didn’t know how to get it back.
But it wasn’t Logan’s fault. Well, not all of it. “Sorry, that was mean.”
He shrugged again. “It’s okay. And it’s true. But it looks like we’re going to have all night to remedy that.”
All night. Here. Alone with Logan.
“It’s going to get dark soon. Is there anything else in the car that you might need for tonight?”
Her stomach growled, almost as if her body were reminding her. She groaned. “The groceries. I brought up food for tonight.”
“What’d you bring?”
“Hot dogs and chips. Some stuff for breakfast.”
“What kind of chips?”
“Cheetos. What else?”
He grinned at her. They’d eaten bags and bags of Cheetos that summer, teasing each other about who loved them more and what exactly was in that orange powder that made them so good.
His grin widened. “I’d dig a car out of the snow for Cheetos.”
A bubble of laughter burst from her before she could stop it. “Fine. Let’s go find a shovel.”
It took them half an hour to slog through the snow and unbury enough of the car to open the door. Emily released the front seat and pushed it forward, leaning in to get to the groceries.
“Careful. Don’t fall.” The feel of Logan’s hands as they settled on her hips startled her, and she popped up, hit her head on the roof of the car, and fell back, against Logan. He sank backwards into the snow and she toppled into his lap.
“What were you doing?”
Logan’s eyes were wide and innocent. “I was holding on to you so you wouldn’t slip. I thought I was helping.”
“Helping yourself. To a piece of my ass.”
His eyes widened further, then his face broke into a naughty grin. “That would still be considered helping.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, then swished a handful of snow at his head.
He laughed and dumped her into the snow. “Oh, that’s how you want to play?”
She held up her hands in surrender. “No, Logan. I was just teasing.” She crawled closer then suddenly turned to look into the trees. “What is that?”
As if responding to the alarm in her voice, Logan’s head snapped toward the trees. Giving her just the vantage point she needed to dump a handful of snow down the back of his shirt.
“Hey!” He grabbed her around the middle in a playful tackle and rolled on top of her.
She shrieked in laughter, throwing snow and bucking against him.
He pinned her, breathing hard, and grinned down at her. Snowflakes stuck to his ridiculously long, dark eyelashes, and her breath caught as she looked up into his eyes.
He’d only grown more gorgeous with age. Looking at him caused her chest to actually hurt. She’d missed him so damn much.
The laughter in his eyes changed to something different. Something darker as he looked down at her lips. She sucked in her bottom lip and watched his blue eyes deepen further still.
He leaned down, his mouth achingly close to hers. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek and the delicious weight of his body as he lowered himself onto hers.
What was she doing? She hadn’t seen Logan in years. He might be a totally different person than she remembered him to be. He could have turned into a total a-hole. Or worse, he could still be the same sweet Logan that had held her hand and taught her how to shoot pool.
Would his lips feel familiar? Would he taste the same? Her heart pounded against her chest, and she knew her hands were trembling.
Only one way to find out.
She reached up and laid her hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes and turned his face toward her hand, softly laying a kiss against her palm.
Oh my.
She sucked in her breath, her lips aching in anticipation. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. Looked into her very soul.
Then he leaned down and took her mouth in his. He didn’t just kiss her, he possessed her lips with a passion that sizzled all the way to her toes. His kisses were hungry, greedy, as if he were starving, and she was his last meal.
His right hand tangled in her hair while his left held her face, cupping her cheek in a tender grasp.
Her body burned, and she arched against him, pressing closer as she wrapped her arms around his back and held on. His back was strong. She could feel his muscles tense even through his coat.
They were putting out so much heat that she was surprised the snow hadn’t melted in a circle around them.
Suddenly he pulled back, his breath now coming in hard gasps. “Wait. I’m so sorry. We can’t do this.” He pushed up and leaned back on the snow.
“Oh. Yeah.” Her body was cold without his warmth. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her chest. “No, of course not.”
Wait, why can’t we?
She was so confused. Why had he stopped? Because he got caught up in the moment and then remembered he didn’t actually want her? She didn’t know what was happening, but she knew she didn’t need this.
She rolled away and stomped through the snow to the cabin. Who cared about the food? She’d lost her appetite anyway. She was half tempted to lock the cabin door. Let him and his bear-sized dog sleep in the car.
But she didn’t. She was mad, not cruel.
A few minutes later, Logan appeared in the doorway, his arms laden with everything from the back seat of her car. He dropped the sleeping bag and set several reusable grocery bags on the table. He gestured to the bags and attempted a joke. “I see you’re doing your part to save the world.”
“Yeah—I’m a real tree hugger, and a health nut, too. You can tell by the nutritious groceries inside my environmentally friendly bags.” She unloaded the bags onto the counter, suddenly conscious of what she’d actually brought up for her overnight stay.
She had a package of hot dogs, some buns, a family-size bag of Cheetos, a box of sugary cereal, milk, a small chocolate cake, a can of whipped topping, and two bottles of wine.
&nbs
p; Logan looked over her shoulder at the lineup of goods. “Just exactly what kind of party were you planning tonight and how many were invited?”
She turned on him, feeling the anger coming off her in waves. “A pity party for one.” She grabbed the bottle of wine off the counter and twisted the lid off. She was so broke that she had to resort to drinking wine that came with a twist-off lid. That thought made her even angrier.
She tipped the bottle to her lips and took a slug before turning back to Logan. “And you’re crashing my party.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. Listen, Emily, I’m sorry. About the kiss. I’m just not that kind of guy.”
She took another gulp of wine. “What kind of guy is that, Logan? One that kisses girls he supposedly used to be in love with? Or the kind of guy who leads girls on and then breaks their hearts?”
“No. What are you talking about?” He stepped up to her, taking the bottle of wine and setting it on the counter. “Emily, I’m not the kind of guy that kisses another man’s wife.”
She hadn’t eaten lunch, and she could feel the wine taking hold. “What are you talking about? Whose wife did you kiss?”
He picked up her hand, the one still wearing her grandmother’s ring. “Your husband’s.”
She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t drunk that wine so quickly. “What do you mean? I’m not married.”
A look of shock crossed his face. “But you’re wearing a ring. And when I came to find you at college, your roommate told me you were engaged and getting married.” He shook his head. “Wait, what do you mean by supposedly in love with?”
She put her hand on his chest. “Hold on. Did you say you came to find me?”
“Of course I did. I told you I would.”
“You came to my college? Why didn’t you talk to me?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He’d really come for her?