Let Me Go (Owned Book 2)

by Gebhard, Mary Catherine

  “Fuck, Gracie, you’re everything,” Eli groaned into my ear. I was barely present, still riding the waves of the orgasm he’d given me. “I could fuck you forever.” I felt him tense up and then that beautiful, amazing release happened and sent me over again. Eli practically crushed me into the mattress. We were so connected I couldn’t breathe.

  Slowly we both came down. Eli rolled off of me and pulled me to his side. The sounds of the outside world, previously muted by our connection, started drifting back in. We lay contently together but the lovemaking had made me weary. My eyelids grew heavy and I couldn’t suppress my yawn.

  “You’re everything,” Eli said again as I dozed off on his chest.

  I rolled over feeling deliciously happy. Eli was sleeping next to me, his arm draped over my stomach. As I moved his grip tightened on my waist and he pulled me close to him. I felt happiness fasten its hold on my heart, threatening to pop, and I thought there would be no better way to die.

  Sunlight streamed in rays through slits in the curtains, dotting the hardwood floor. I studied Eli’s apartment, because that’s what it was. He wasn’t staying at a hotel; in fact he almost looked moved in. There were no suitcases anywhere and he even had shirts hung up in the closet.

  How odd.

  The apartment was clean and modern, reminding me of the apartment I’d briefly shared with Vera, except where ours had been three bedrooms, his was just one bedroom and one bathroom with a small living room and kitchen. The walls were painted white with one blue wall or one purple wall in each room. The furniture was all different colors and patterns with light wooden inlayed. It was not really where I’d imagined Eli living, but it was stylish nonetheless.

  I’d heard of people staying in other people’s homes instead of hotels. It was a service you could get off the internet. After my luck with internet housing, though, I doubted I’d be doing something like that anytime soon. Still, it seemed to be working for Eli.

  Resting my head on the cushioned headrest, I moved up the bed to get a better view out the window. Eli’s place was close to the beach, but not as close as mine had been. I could only see the blue water through slits in the buildings. Even though I’d been living in California for a couple months, I still couldn’t get used to the sight of the ocean. It was just so vast and blue. Mesmerizing.

  I was beginning to understand why people grow so attached to California. Say what you will about the state itself, the beach is completely separate from that. The beach is spiritual and beautiful. Even when it’s crawling with tourists and surfers and locals whining about tourists, it’s just there. In and out, flowing with the moon. Unaware of anyone’s pain yet seemingly intuitive of everything.

  If I was glad of anything, it was that my journey had brought me the ocean.

  And Eli, of course.

  I turned my head back to Eli’s sleeping body. He was naked and I could read every muscle like words in a book. For once I didn’t feel ashamed watching him. I felt joy. I felt good. I felt lucky. I had a man who loved me, and who looked like Eli: beautiful and colored like cocoa beans with a taste like pomegranate and fire. I trailed my nails along the grooves of his back, feeling his sinew and skin meet my eager finger.

  “Hmm?” Sleepily, Eli turned his head toward me.

  “Go back to sleep,” I said, continuing my ministrations. “I’m just enjoying you.” Quick as a flash Eli grabbed me and put me under him. I laughed, enjoying the sound and feel. It had been so long since I’d laughed, I mean really laughed. Laughed without worrying. Laughed because I was happy.

  “Hey!” I said between fits of laughter. “I wasn’t finished.”

  Eli bent down and sucked my neck. “I want to enjoy you now.” I moaned as his tongue found my skin. “Fuck, Grace, I’ll never get enough of you. Your taste. Your scent. It’s all so fucking good.” I brought Eli’s head away from my neck and to my mouth so I could show just how much I agreed with him. I would never get enough of him either. If I could have, I would have put him in my pocket and kept him there all day.

  That was an absurd thought. A laugh bubbled in my throat and escaped, despite me trying to stop it. It was not the time to laugh. Eli stopped nibbling on my lower lip and frowned.

  “I was thinkin’ how I’ll never get enough of you,” I explained. “How if I could I would put you in my pocket and keep you there all day, and then I thought that was silly so I laughed. I know it’s stupid…” I looked away.

  Eli captured my mouth. “If it’s possible,” he said through furious kisses. “I love you even more.” Eli thrust his tongue into my mouth, quieting any response I might have had. I wrapped my hands around his back, dragging my nails down his waist.

  Everything about Eli had me on fire. The feel of his skin on my skin. His tongue warring in my mouth, claiming me. His hands simultaneously caressing me and overpowering me. I couldn’t get enough of it. I wanted all of it at once. I needed more.

  “I want you in me,” I said breathlessly as Eli moved his mouth down my throat.

  “Don’t need to tell me twice.” As we moved to get closer, the phone rang, its high-pitched wail more effective than a bucket of cold water.

  “Don’t answer it,” Eli said against my skin. I groaned as Eli trailed his fingers lightly between my thighs.

  “It could be about Vera.” I stretched my arm to the nightstand, patting blindly for it until my hand found the hard rectangular object. “Hello?” I answered, unsuccessfully trying to fend Eli off as he kissed me to distraction. I pushed him hard but he only moved away from my lips and down to my stomach. I held back a moan.

  “Gracie, it’s Vera.”

  I bolted upright, nearly knocking Eli unconscious with my hip. He rubbed his head and I mouthed, “Sorry.”

  “Vera? Where are you? Are you okay?” My words came out in a hurried slur.

  “I’m okay. Don’t worry.” Her voice sounded dark and low, so unlike the Vera I knew.

  “What?” I demanded. “What do you mean ‘don’t worry’?”

  “I’ve contacted the police, Gracie,” Vera continued. “I’ve told them I’m not a missing person. Please don’t worry about me.”

  “Where are you, Vera? There was blood and—”

  “I’m fine!”

  “I don’t believe you!” I practically screamed. Eli moved away from my stomach and sat next to me, watching me with concern. I wasn’t even aware that I was naked. All I could think about was Vera.

  “Gracie I can’t stay on the phone for very long,” Vera said, a hint of fear playing at her voice.

  “Why? Vera what’s going on?” I was scared for her; I felt helpless. What could I do?

  “I love you, gal, you know that. I’m okay, please don’t worry.” Before I could respond, the line went dead. I stared at the phone in shock. So many questions ran alongside urges in my head. Should I call the police? She’d said she’d already called the police, but that could be a lie. Maybe I should have them trace the call. Could they even do that after the fact? Probably not. I should be doing something, something other than staring at this phone.

  “Grace?” Eli touched my shoulder and I looked at him, eyes wide. “Who was that?”

  Don’t hide my pain. “Vera called. She told me she was okay and not to worry.”

  “Do you believe her?”

  “Like I believe the snake who gave Eve the apple was just trying to help a sister out.”

  Eli laughed and settled back against the headboard. “What now?” As I thought on his question, my phone vibrated in my hands. I held my finger up to signal him to be quiet. It wasn’t like he was yelling, but it could have been Vera again and internally I was screaming.

  “Vera?” I practically screamed into the phone.

  “Uh…” I recognized the severe yet, for some reason, inexplicably insecure tone of my brother immediately. “No, it’s Vic.”

  “Oh,” I said, deflated. “Sorry. Hey.”

  “I want to, uh…” In the background I could hear L
ennox saying something indecipherable to him. “I want to apologize, and offer you a place to stay.”

  “Thank you but no thank you, Vic.” My worry about Vera drained away and was replaced with exhaustion. Vera’s kidnapping—because that’s what it was, no matter what she tried to say—was exhausting. Trying to have a relationship with my brother was exhausting. I was utterly weakened. “I’ll figure somethin’ out. I don’t think we should live together.”

  “I own the building,” Vic explained. “I’m offering you an apartment. Free of charge.”

  “I don’t want your charity,” I said, maybe a little too harshly. The morning had been a roller coaster of emotions and I was having a hard time stabilizing.

  “Fine, then I’ll charge you,” Vic said, annoyance lacing his tone. Again I heard Lennox’s voice in the background, but I couldn’t pick up what she was saying.

  “I mean,” Vic said, his voice calmer. “The apartment is yours, so if you need it you can have it. It will always be here.”

  I blinked, feeling unsure but somewhat touched. “Thank you.”

  “Yep.” Vic hung up. I stared at my phone like it was a bomb in my palm. After a few moments, when I was sure it wasn’t going to go off, I set it back on the nightstand.

  “You’re popular this morning,” Eli said, lacing his arm around my abdomen and pulling me closer.

  “That was my brother,” I said, staring at the ceiling. “First Vera and then my brother. This morning sucks.”

  “What did your brother want?” Using his other arm, Eli rubbed my neck. I sunk into the feeling. It would have been so easy to ignore the morning and float away with Eli. He knew exactly how to make me feel better. Leaning farther back into Eli’s chest, I sighed, relishing the distraction.

  “Bug,” Eli whispered into my ear. “What did he want?”

  Reality refused to go away. I sat up and turned my head to Eli’s. “To give me an apartment.”

  “What a jerk,” Eli teased before going serious. “Are you going to take his offer?” I didn’t like it. I wished I had any other option, but I didn’t. I was homeless and jobless. Plus, wasn’t this what I’d wanted? Wasn’t this the reason I’d come to Santa Barbara, for family? Vic was offering me family and a home. I’d be stupid not to take it.

  “I just wish I wasn’t always under someone’s thumb,” I confided to Eli. “First Daddy and now Vic.”

  “Is Vic hurting you?” Eli growled.

  “No!” I backtracked. “No, of course not. I mean, I was living in Daddy’s house and now I’ll be living in Vic’s. When I was with Vera we were on our own, doing our own thing. I was free.”

  Eli nodded. “You could come live with me. Together, not under my thumb.” I smiled sadly, his request reminding me how short our relationship was going to be. Eli went to college in Georgia. He was only visiting. I had to keep reminding myself of that, so that when he left, the wound he left behind wouldn’t completely kill me.

  I could already feel it, though. Just the anticipation of his departure was opening up a hole in my chest the size of a cannonball. Try as I might to cauterize it with constant reminders that he wouldn’t stay, the hole was growing.

  “You live in college dorms all the way in Georgia, Eli Jackson,” I said. “As much as I appreciate the offer…I don’t think GSU would appreciate you hiding me away in your closet.”

  Eli’s full lips twisted in a half-crook, the way they did when he had some kind of happy secret. I’d seen that crook before, back when he had a present for me. He had been so excited he couldn’t keep that mischievous smile off his face the entire day. Finally he’d spilled the beans: he’d gotten us tickets to a movie we wanted to see but had thought we couldn’t afford.

  I nearly prodded, knowing he was keeping something from me, but Eli purred and pulled me to him. Crushed against his warm, naked chest, all my thoughts vanished.

  “Coming back to little ol’ you hiding in my closet?” Eli said against my hair. “I think I could get used to that.” I smiled, but the smile was short-lived. I was already used to Eli, and that was the problem.

  “You sure you want to do this?” Eli asked as the elevator opened to the top floor—Vic and Lennox’s floor. Was I sure? Not really. Did I have a choice? Not really. I had nowhere else to go and I’d already told Eli as much. Pulling me by the elbow, Eli dragged me to the side. His back was to the wall and he held me to him, chest to chest.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Stay with me.” It wasn’t a question.

  “We’ve already been over this.” I sighed, getting frustrated. The more Eli mentioned his pipe dream, the more I realized that we were just a pipe dream. He was going back to Georgia any day now, and…well, maybe I would go with him… It would be easier than letting him leave. Even though I absolutely did not want to go back to Georgia, I couldn’t just let him leave.

  Not again.

  “What if I was here?” Eli asked, brow crinkled as he waited for me to answer the question.

  I squinted my eyes. “Stop playing games, Eli Jackson.”

  “I’m not playin’.” Brow still furrowed, Eli kept his stare pinned on me. I frowned and pulled my arm from his grasp so I could think.

  “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. Living with Eli had always been the dream. Under the sugar maple tree I’d dreamed that we would run off together and get married. Back then everything was so simple. Love was everything. With love we would have everything.

  Now I was all grown up. I knew that love was beautiful and grand and the whole purpose of life, but it wasn’t everything.

  “I like living on my own,” I answered honestly. I liked the independence. For the first time in my life I’d had my own place and I’d answered to no one but myself. Sure, I’d lived with Vera, but she’d just been a roommate. She hadn’t expected me to come home at a certain time or expected anything of me, really.

  Gosh, I miss her.

  I looked back at Eli, who was still staring at me intensely. “In this dream world of yours,” I continued. “If you lived here, I’d want us to be together but to live on our own for a while. I like getting to know myself.”

  Eli smiled and pulled me in by the loops of my jeans. “I like getting to know you too, Grace.” I laughed as he kissed my throat.

  “You already know me, Eli,” I said breathlessly.

  “I like getting to know you more.” He said “more” so deeply that it almost sounded like a growl. My knees weakened.

  “Come on Eli…” Eli kissed down my shoulder, exposing the skin. “Eli!” I pulled away, panting and glancing down the hallway for others. A sly grin played on his face. I glared, but I wasn’t angry. It was hard to be angry when he made me feel so good.

  I grabbed his hand and pulled him off the wall. Together, we walked toward the only door in the hallway. I hesitated a moment, my fist hovering near the black wood. Even though Vic had offered the apartment, I still felt nervous accepting. Once my hand descended on the stained wood, it was only a few moments before I heard the telltale sound of foot falls and then the unsnapping of the lock. Here goes everything.

  “I’m really happy you’re here, Eli,” Lennox said, ushering us inside. “I feel so badly about what happened.”

  “Water under the bridge,” Eli said, waving a hand.

  “Thank you so much for letting me stay in the apartment, Lennox.” My gaze drifted around the steely apartment. Even though only hours before I’d been a guest there, a member with my very own room and bed, I felt like an outsider once again.

  “Oh, that was Vic’s idea. You should be thanking him.” Lennox’s eyes wandered to Vic where he sat alone on the couch. “He needed a bit of prodding to get over the little argument you two had, but once he came around he was full of ideas. It’s actually my old apartment.”

  “Oh really…” I wasn’t sure what to say to her. First of all, “little argument” was not adequate to describe what had gone down the day before. Secondly, I’d tho
ught it was Lennox’s idea for me to stay. Finding out Vic had come up with the idea threw me for a loop. Every time I thought I had my brother figured out, he went and did something like that. Was he a jerk, or was he the big brother I’d always dreamed of?

  I couldn’t ruminate on the thought much. My mind was quickly taken over by Vera, her recent call still fresh in my mind. Sitting casually on the couch, Vic read a magazine as if everything was normal. As if my closest friend in the world wasn’t missing. As if he hadn’t promised to find her while also showing me his secret lair in the process only hours before.

  Sure, it had only been a day since our fight, but so much had happened. Vera had called me. Vic was supposedly hunting her and her kidnapper down, yet I hadn’t heard a thing from him. All he’d done was accuse Eli of working for Zero.

  “Bug?” Eli touched my arm. “What are you thinking?” I briefly turned my attention away from Vic to Eli and Lennox, who were watching me intently. I shook my head at them. My thoughts were too full to convey. Instead of sharing, I marched up to Vic.

  “Have you heard any news about Vera?” I asked, tapping his shoulder. “She just called me. She said she was okay and that she called the police but I don’t believe her. Maybe we can call the number back. It was unknown but, I don’t know, maybe we can call it back somehow and force her to tell us where she is.” The words tumbled out of my mouth like a rockslide. I stood in front of Vic now, oblivious to Eli and Lennox.

  “I’ve located her,” Vic said casually, flipping through a magazine as if I weren’t even there.

  “You have?” I exclaimed, shock burning my throat. “Where is she?”

  “Louisiana.” Vic flipped another page in his magazine and I nearly snatched it out of his hands. “Hooked up with her old boyfriend, Zero.”