I looked up in shock at Donna. Like me, she was on her knees and breathing ragged, but did not appear to have sustained any injuries in the process, yet the anger I had seen earlier still blazed.
“Who are you talking to?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh, just dad,” she said dismissively, standing and brushing dirt from the legs of her jeans as if she did not just drop a bomb into my lap.
“I beg your pardon?”
“It’s nothing, Desmond,” she said. “I promise.”
“I fail to see how being in communication with the incubus who sired you is nothing.”
“Trust me, he can’t do anything,” she said again. “But as you might have guessed, he’s a little disappointed in me, seeing as I was supposed to usher in a new era of Discordant dominance. So any time I find myself too close to the realm, he tries to give me an earful.”
“That is supposed to be reassuring?”
For the most part, I had come to trust Donna despite her lineage, but every so often, she would do or say something that had me second-guessing that trust. This was one of those times.
“He can’t leave the realm and he can’t come into my dreams. He’s impotent and he knows it. I guess eventually I’m going to have to face him, but that’s my problem, not yours. Besides, we’ve got bigger fish to fry, right?”
“So you say,” I said, not at all convinced that this ‘problem’ was as simple as she was making it out to be or that it was going to stay in the family. But she was also correct in that we most certainly had bigger problems at the moment.
“Come on,” I said, making a step by lacing my fingers to give Donna a boost out of the sinkhole. “We need to move back and see if this holds.”
The barricade formed by the webbing was strong and held even after we removed our magical influence. How long that would hold was anyone’s guess, but I was grateful for any borrowed time at the moment.
“Does Myrna know you are in contact with your father?” I asked as we headed toward the exit. I paused to double check the wards I’d placed around the mill site. I did this not only because I was skeptical of the barrier holding, but also because I had noticed a middle school nearby. The remains of the crumbling building seemed a dangerous temptation to the average pre-teen explorer and quite frankly, I was shocked and more than a little disconcerted that the city hadn’t already taken measures to ensure the children’s safety.
“Oh yeah,” Donna replied with a smirk. “She’s got a pretty strong ward to keep him out of her mind and I suspect that’s half the reason why he comes after me whenever he gets a chance.”
“And you feel this is normal incubi behavior?”
“I guess. No one has told me otherwise,” she said with a dismissive shrug. “In other news… Is Bogie acting a bit odd to you?”
“Define odd,” I said blandly, annoyed by the sudden change of subject, but I let it go. To be honest, I knew very little about the incubi since they never truly entered our realm. Usually, it was their spawn that I had to deal with. I tried not to think about that as I had become fond of both Myrna and Donna.
“Like, really high strung, nervous, and secretive. I know he can be a spaz at times, but this is more like he’s hiding something,” she said, adding with a frown, “I can’t help but wonder if Howie isn’t stressing him out.”
“More likely Howie’s trying to put him up to something,” I said with a sigh.
As if I didn’t have enough problems. I can’t say that Bogie’s sneaking around and being secretive surprised me. I might have warmed up to the guy, but at the end of the day, he was still a Discordant, so I could never fully trust his intentions.
“I was going to ask your mother to join me for lunch, but I’ll check in on the two stooges before I head out her way.”
“Careful, Casanova. You keep spending time with mom and people might think you’re sweet on her.”
“It is nothing like that at all,” I assured her. “Your mother is a wonderful woman and I happen to enjoy the company of those who can remember when life was a little slower paced, but I have no designs on her.” I didn’t bother to add that I was rather interested in hearing Myrna’s take on why the incubus who impregnated her was bothering her daughter.
“Designs?” Donna asked, trying not to laugh and failing. “Desmond, do you have a sense of humor at all?”
“Of course I do,” I said, confused for a moment until I realized she had been teasing me. “Ah. You were merely teasing me about your mother.”
“Well she is at least twice your age.”
“On the contrary. I am more than three times her age.”
“That’s right,” she said, smacking her forehead. “I keep forgetting you guys have some sort of fountain of youth. Whatever, I’m glad to see mom’s still got it going on or something. At least someone does,” she added lightly, but there was a darkness lurking at the edge of her voice. “Anyway… Speaking of old geezers,” she continued, brightening again, “I have something I need to discuss with Seth and I promised I’d bring him lunch. I’m thinking Taco Tuesday’s.”
“But it’s Thursday.”
“And I’m buying burritos,” she added raising her eyebrows playfully. “That’s the name of the restaurant.”
“I knew that,” I explained. “I was just… Never mind.”
“Oh my.” Donna’s eyebrows quirked up. “Were you trying to make a joke?”
“Perhaps I was,” I admitted.
“Well, practice makes perfect,” she said, giving me a wink and a patronizing pat on the arm before hopping into her Buick.
I decided to walk back downtown rather than use trans-cyclical travel because I wasn’t in any hurry and Donna had told me that the warm sunny day we were experiencing was rare. Walking was a good way to clear my head and there was no denying that I had plenty on my mind that needed clearing.
As difficult as it was, I set aside everything Donna had revealed to me about her father. That was another battle for another day. Instead, I focused on the concerns she raised about Bogie. Seth often accused me of being hard on the demon and I had to admit that he might have had a valid point, but old habits were hard to break. Besides, Donna was not the only one who noted his odd behavior.
Perhaps it was only that his uncle’s presence was causing him additional stress, but I couldn’t deny that he was a little jumpier than usual and seemed easily distracted. And then there was the mysterious phone call that he insisted he had to take during our weekly employee meeting. The more I thought about it, the more my suspicions grew. My walk had turned into a full on sprint and I quickly found myself at the back door to the Five Penny.
Despite the fact that the bar wouldn’t open for another four hours, and despite the fact that it wasn’t a delivery day, I could hear that Bogie was already downstairs when I arrived at the Five Penny. This was not suspicious. Ever since his uncle’s arrival, the little runt had been looking for excuses to get out of the apartment. I also heard Nai’s voice. This would not have normally raised my suspicions, given that she was likely looking for information, however, the snippet of conversation I caught as I came through the back door gave me pause.
“I’m just saying, there’s got to be a way to do this and keep my dignity intact.”
“It’s for one afternoon and no one will know you is the one in there.”
“Why don’t you wear the costume and I’ll work the table? The kids might be more likely to trust a classmate.”
“No offense, kiddo, but I thought you was the one no one liked.”
“Um, ouch? No need to be a jerk.”
“Just telling it like it is, Nai. Look, under normal circumstances I’d say we get your brother to do the goofin’ off…”
“Oh for Chaos sake, girlie! I’ll pay you double. Now can we finish up the negotiations? I ain’t got all day.”
The last line came from neither Bogie nor Nai, but it was a voice that was familiar enough that suddenly the confusing conversation made sense.
Too much sense.
“You have some nerve, Bugsy,” I growled, throwing a binding spell on the small time grease ball in the slightly dated pinstriped suit who was sitting at the bar.
“Des?” Bugsy looked over at Bogie. “This is the Warrior what got you banished from the big time? You forgot to mention that part!”
“How many Warriors do you know?” Bogie asked before turning to me. “Ease up a little, boss. It ain’t what it looks like.”
“Really?” I asked, ignoring Bogie’s plea as I tightened the binding on both demons. “Because what it looks like is the two of you are up to your old tricks. What is it this time, a poker ring? Gambling den? Illegal casino set up?”
“What? Of course not! Nothin’ like that,” Bogie protested. “Why the heck would I take my chances involving Nai in somethin’ illegal?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nai asked.
“Okay, seriously, ease up on the hocus pocus. This is Armani, not wash and wear!”
“Say anything else and you’ll be buried in it,” I warned.
“Alright, alright!” Bogie yelled holding up his hands. “Before anyone does anything they might regret, they might want to hear me out?”
“I’m listening,” I growled, but I left the binding amped to eleven.
“It’s true that I invited ol’ Mort here to Blackbird ‘cuz I had a business proposal for him,” Bogie explained, adding in haste, “but it ain’t the kind of business proposal you is thinking! I’m happy to announce that we mighta found a way to take care of at least part of the problem that’s facing us at the moment.”
“And that is?” I asked, growing impatient.
“Nai?” Bogie nodded his head, indicating something that was just out of his reach.
“Here,” Nai said, handing me a piece of paper from a stack that was sitting on the bar.
“You have got to be kidding.”
The bright yellow flyer, which was a graphic designer’s worst nightmare come to life, announced a job fair being held the following Saturday. It seemed that Blackbird was about to get its very own Big Royal Burger Franchise.
Chapter 10
Niche Market
I was beginning to think this was one of my dumbest ideas yet. If I didn’t play my cards right, I’d be dead before I got a chance to open my yap and explain anything. It was hard enough sneakin’ this far out without anyone noticing. Especially on a pastel pink scooter with the Betty’s Bakery logo on the side, but that was the only vehicle I knew I could borrow without question. I shoulda just enlisted Myrna, but as classy a dame as she was, I weren’t ready to trust her to keep no secrets from Des.
If Dogwood Lanes weren’t built over a rift, I had serious doubts that it’d still be standing. I’ve seen some poor shacks in my life, but I ain’t never seen a place in such a state of disrepair like this before. And the magic! No wonder Seth and the gang ain’t never suggested a night of bowling. I don’t know what it was like for them, but the number of restless spirits trying to break free was even giving me a headache.
I recognized a couple of ‘em. There mighta been one or two who I was on friendly enough terms to make my hair-brained idea work if it weren’t for the fact that there was no way I was getting through those wards. Whoever this Eller guy was, he was thorough. There weren’t no way to sneak in neither. The front desk had a clear view of the doors and he was already eyeballing me before I’d even worked up the courage to do more than hang back in the foyer, pretending to read the league notices and whatnot on the bulletin board.
“You know I see you, demon,” he called out over the sound of the pins being knocked down. “You gonna cower over there in the corner or are you gonna come over here and tell me why you’re sticking your nose where it don’t belong?”
Whelp, so much for playing it cool. Not that I was getting soft or nothin’. I knew the minute I walked into the joint that I weren’t gonna be able to do nothin’ anyways what with wards like that up all over.
“Um, yeah, hi there,” I said by way of smooth introduction. “My name’s Hubert and ah… See, I ain’t no typical demon…”
“I know who you are. I know where you work. And I know who signs your paycheck,” he growled with a dismissive air. “I may be trapped here but I’m not stuck under a rock. I got eyes and ears in all of Blackbird, you know.”
“No kiddin’? That’s impressive. Wait, when you say eyes and ears, you mean informants, right? ‘Cuz the thought of a bunch of ears and eyeballs just hovering and whatnot is a little freaky.”
“Is there a reason you’re here?” he asked, cutting off my babbling.
“As a matter of fact, yes,” I said. There weren’t really no reason to beat around the bush. “I already know you know what’s headed our way and you probably also know ain’t none of us got a chance of surviving if this town gets overrun in an all-out war. But I happen to know you ain’t sittin’ pretty up here neither and I think I might have a solution to alls our problems, but see, there’s a matter of getting the word out.”
“Meaning?”
“I uh…” I glanced over at the trophy case where I could feel a few old acquaintances trying to get at me. I’d be lying to myself if I said they was all just trying to say hi. “I need to get a message to the other side.”
“And I’m just supposed to believe that your intentions are good because… why?”
“You isn’t,” I said with a shrug. “Why should you? But, if you got ears as you claim, you oughta know I’m persona non grata over in the realm. Even so, look at me. I’m a lesser demon. Do I scare you?”
“You really want me to answer that?” He said with a coughing laugh.
“Yeesh, you might wanna get that cough checked out,” I said. “I’ve been known to enjoy a fine cigar myself from time to time, so I ain’t gonna preach at ya, but that don’t sound too good.”
“You know as well as I do that ain’t likely.”
“True, but hear me out. Alls I need is you to pass one message over to the other side. I ain’t asking for no trust or nothin’.”
“Huh,” he barked, shuffling over to the desk behind the counter. After a second or two, he pulled out an old, yellowing notepad and one of them stubby little pencils used for scoring games. “Ain’t saying I do and I ain’t saying I don’t, but I can’t deny that you’ve piqued my curiosity. One message, that’s all I’m giving you.”
“That, my good sir, is all I need.”
* * *
After nearly a week without hearing nothin’, I was beginning to think that either Eller never sent along the message or I weren’t as good at predicting people’s motivations as I thought. Even worse, I’d managed to work the guys at the bar up into such a frenzy that I was beginning to cringe every time that stupid commercial came on. If my plan fell through, I was gonna be even more up the creek than I already was.
Finally though, I got the phone call. Of course, it couldn’t’ve come at a less convenient time. Donna, Des, and I had just sat down to our first ever Five Penny employee meeting, which, I should add, was my brilliant idea, when my hip started buzzing.
“Ah, hang on a second,” I said trying to look as innocent as possible ‘cuz if Des were to find out who was calling, my whole plan woulda been ruined before I even had a chance to do nothin’.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are we inconveniencing you?” Des asked.
“Eh, trust me. I gotta take this. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Okay, so I weren’t as sly as I used to be neither.
I ducked back in the alley and checked to make sure there weren’t no pixies hanging out.
“Y’ello,” I answered just in time before the call rolled over to voicemail.
“Hubert? Is that you? Boy bucko, you got a lotta nerve calling me.”
“Hey Mort, long time no speak,” I said, trying to head off the inevitable. “Look, it weren’t my fault. I was banished and you don’t even wanna know where I am. Well, actually you probably do, which is why I’m callin’.”
“I know,” I said, finally relaxing. “But here’s the thing. I got a business opportunity guaranteed to make you a heck of a lot more than that.”
“And I got a bridge to sell you.”
“Look, Mort, I ain’t kiddin’,” I said, desperate now. “And I ain’t got a whole lotta time to be hanging out on the phone. Hows about this? I’ll give you the address of where I’m at. Pop over here tomorrow morning right around ten so I can show you what I’m talking about. If you hear me out and don’t agree, I’ll give you what I owe yous and you can skedaddle back to civilization.”
“This some kind of a trick?”
“No tricks. Scout’s honor.”
“You ain’t never been a scout and you sure as hell ain’t got any honor, twerp,” Mort ground out. “Lucky for you, I’m a nice guy and I’ll hear you out before I decide how I’m gonna get what you owe me. But I’m warning you, if this is some sort of a joke, you’ll wish you never heard of me.”
The following day I headed down to the alley early to wait for Mort’s arrival. Lucky for me, Des and Donna was down at the old mill trying to head off Armageddon, so I weren’t too worried about being interrupted before I could convince Mort to help me save Blackbird.
“Geez kid. There’s slumming and then there’s slumming. What the hell did you do to end up in a place like this?”
“I got on the wrong side of a certain Warrior and got kicked outta the realm,” I said, actin’ all casual like it weren’t no big deal. I kinda owed Mort a hefty lump of scratch, so I knew he was just trying to press my buttons. “But that ain’t your concern. What you need to worry about is filling a need. You still in the franchise business?”
“Here and there,” Mort answered with a shrug. “The market gets more and more saturated every day.”
“Is that so?” I said, trying to ease back on the big ol’ grin that was forming on my mug. “What if I can offer you an untapped market that’s just chompin’ at the bit to get their hands on a Big Cheezy”
“Big Royal Burger? Are you outta your mind?” Mort scoffed. “Ain’t no one in the world chomping at the bit for anything from that place. You wanna make money, we gotta open a Five Guys or an In-N-Out or something with a cult following. Big Royal Burger is pretty small time.”
You Wish (Rise of the Discordant Book 3) Page 12