"Storm, would you mind looking after these gentlemen? I have a few things to discuss with Ada."
His aura swirls like he's about to protest, but he nods and takes them outside. The dragon prisoner follows - no, wait, he's no longer a prisoner. I guess he's an ally now. Hopefully, his craziness really has vanished.
"Want us to stay?" Arc asks but I shake my head.
"No, I want some girl time."
"That sounds like fun," Crispin snickers. "If you want some boy time after, we'll be in our quarters. Probably. Unless someone finds us and gives us something to do." He sighs. "No rest for the wicked."
They leave and I take a deep breath when we're finally alone. "How are you?" I ask Ada carefully, cursing my strange eyes that don't let me see her expression.
"It's strange to be back here," she says after a moment of hesitation. "At one point, I didn't think I'd ever be able to return."
"You've been through a lot, but I'm glad to have you back. I will need to have a chat with Gwain to discuss how to announce that you're back, but before you start work again, I want you to recover."
"I don't need...," she protests, but I cut her off.
"Yes, you do. You need some rest and proper food. I think you deserve some downtime, and so do your men. You all look like you'd collapse as soon as you're sent into battle."
"Your Majesty," she replies sullenly.
"Oh, stop it. I only want the best for you." I want to hug her, but right now, I need to be the Princess rather than the friend. If Ada could, she'd immediately go back to her duties, but I can't have her do that. She needs rest.
"But first, I have a few questions, if you don't mind."
She shrugs. "Go ahead."
"Can we trust the dragons?" It's a loaded question, but I need to know. Ada will be able to give me a better answer than my advisors.
"Dewi is an ungrateful bitch, but she wants revenge, so yes, I think we can," Ada replies. "And she's got Agierth to keep her in check. That one's quite a nice dragon and one of the few who managed to fight the Morrigan, if just a little. I can't promise you that they'll stay in touch after we defeat the Morrigan, but I think we can count on them for now."
I smile. Finally some good news. It seems that the strange trip to the Dragon Realm was worth it after all, despite all the weirdness.
"It's good to have you back." Again, I have to stop myself from hugging her. I'm all giddy and excited, and I'm not quite sure why. Probably my hormones, or my weird Goddess powers. They keep doing strange stuff to me. I clear my throat. "Hold my hand, I'll get you to your quarters the quick way."
"How come you can teleport now?" she asks in wonder, as if she didn't quite realise that I already transported them back from the Dragon Realm in this way.
I sigh. "It's a long story."
My mother's condition hasn't improved at all. She's as pale as the bed sheets surrounding her frail body, and her cheeks seem sunk in even further than I remember. She's the only person whose face I can see, yet I don't want to look at her. She's changed too much, she's nothing but a shadow of the powerful Goddess she used to be. And it's all my fault. I made her use up all her powers. I behaved like a child and she's the one who's suffering for it.
"Beira?" I whisper, sitting down by her bedside. I wish there was something I could do. I have all these new powers now, but they're no use to me. I can't heal my mother.
She opens her eyes, but even that looks like a struggle for her.
"Wyn."
Her voice is less than a whisper, a weak breath. How did it come to this?
"Do you have news?" she asks, her eyes fluttering shut again.
I take her hand and squeeze it reassuringly. As if that will solve anything. It's more to give me comfort rather than her.
"The dragons will fight on our side," I tell her. "And Ada has returned. She never abandoned us, she left to help the dragon prisoner free his people from the Morrigan's influence. It's a long story, but for now, we have new allies."
I don't want to take up too much of my mother's energy by telling her the full line of events. It seems hard enough for her to stay awake.
"I'm proud of you," she whispers. "You've achieved something I haven't managed for centuries. The dragons have always been elusive."
"Their leader, Dewi, said she was a Goddess, but she didn't feel like other Gods. Do you know about her?"
My mother frowns ever so slightly. "She's not one of mine. Maybe Angus made her, but I've never heard of a Dragon Goddess."
"Strange," I mutter, more to myself than to her. "She's not making any sense."
"Wyn." My mother suddenly squeezes my hand, making me turn my full attention to her again.
"You need to become Queen."
I sigh. "Not that again. No way. You'll be better once we've defeated Angus, and then you won't need me anymore."
"I won't get better," she says slowly. "My time is over."
I shake my head. "I'm not listening. Once winter comes again, you'll be just like you were before."
"No, I can feel it. I won't recover, Wyn, no matter how much you want it. Even if I get stronger, I'll never get back to my old strength. I won't be able to lead my people. I won't be the Queen they deserve."
A tear is trickling from the corner of her eye and I look away. Beira doesn't cry. She's the Winter Queen, the epitome of cool composure. She doesn't show her emotions, ever.
"You need to be crowned before the battle begins." Her grip on my hand is growing weaker, but her voice has a trace of her former authority. "We will all die if you don't become Queen."
She falls silent and I stare at the floor, her words echoing in my head. She won't get better. She won't be Beira again. She'll stay this weak, frail woman, not much more than human.
"There needs to be a balance," she suddenly whispers, just when I think she's gone back to sleep. "Remember what I told you. Without balance, all Realms will crumble. I can already feel it happening. Focus, and you'll feel it too."
I sit by her side for a while longer, even though she's asleep. I think I know how to feel for the balance like she said, but I'm scared to do it. If I sense an imbalance, that will mean that I will have to do something about it.
I don't want to be Queen. I don't want to be a Goddess, either. All I want is to go back to being Wyn, live with my Guardians, have a quiet life without death and demons. I want my mum and my mother by my side, and a father who isn't traumatised and grieving.
I never imagined my life could turn into this. Chaos. War. Despair. Doubt. An eternal absence of hope. And now, they want me to be Queen and steer them through the darkness. What if I fail? What if I get them all killed? I could never live with that. There's been too much death already. Mum. Chesca. Aodh. All the soldiers we've lost.
But for it to end, we need to fight, and my mother is right. She can't lead us in the state she's in.
I run my hands through my long hair, wishing there was a simple answer. Why can't life be simple, just once? I think I've dealt with my share fair of heartache and trouble, why can't it be someone else's turn now?
No, that's not a way a Princess should think. I should be happy to take on the responsibility and suffering that comes with my role, as long as it means my people are safe. But am I ready to be that person? Can I put all my own worries to one side and completely focus on what's good for my Realm?
Already, I don't have enough time to spend with my Guardians. I bet that as Queen, I'd have even less. I miss them, I miss our closeness, our banter. I can feel them through our bond, but that's no substitute for having them in the room with me.
Urgh. My head hurts with all the thoughts swirling around my mind.
The balance... I remember what my mother told me when I'd first arrived in the Realm. How she and Angus share their rule of the world, how he makes plants grow and thrive in the summer, and how Beira give them their well-earned rest during the winter months. Nature has got used to the rhythm that they've maintained over millennia, and if
that balance was to be disturbed, all of creation might be affected. She'd said that magic might no longer exist in a world without the precarious balance that she'd fought for despite Angus trying to extend his powers. She's fought him before, many times, and each time, she won, but she never took away his Realm and his powers. He's needed for the balance, and even now, I know that we can't defeat him completely, only drive him back. Who we need to defeat is the Morrigan, who doesn't seem to care about the damage this war between Winter and Summer could cause. She'd probably enjoy it. If she lives in the Demon Realms now, I bet she'd be happy with a world of darkness and despair.
I look at Beira again. Her lover, my father, was killed by Angus's soldiers, and yet she still tried to keep the peace. I'm not sure I'd be able to do that if someone killed my men. Scratch that, I certainly wouldn't. I'd want to make Angus suffer in the worst possible way.
Yet another reason why I'd make a terrible Queen. I'm too emotional, too human. Maybe if I'd grown up here in the Realms, it could have been different, but I didn't.
To Queen or not to Queen... I smirk at my own bad joke. Everybody is telling me to do it. The Council, Tamara, even my father. And my Guardians. This is the first time they're not supporting my decision. Storm is particularly adamant that I should take my mother's place. But they're part of this Realm, no wonder they think like everybody here. Am I the only one who can see what a bad idea it is?
I'm not the right person for the job.
I sigh. Sitting here lamenting my fate won't do any good. I better get going, there's a Council to inform about the dragons, and I'm pretty sure there's a mountain of documents to sign waiting for me on my desk.
Chapter Six
Before I can even get to my office, Tamara waylays me.
"There's something you should see," she tells me, the urgency in her voice surprising me. She's usually very well composed and while she likes to laugh, she very rarely shows any other emotions.
"What's going on?"
"It's the unicorn. He's having... I don't know, it looks like he's having a seizure. He's saying strange things and his body is twitching. I've sent for Theodore and Zephyr, but you know the unicorn better than any of us.
"Where is he?" I ask, fear filling my stomach. I can't deal with another loss.
"Practice courtyard. He went there to..."
I'm already gone, teleporting there before Tamara can finish her sentence.
It's chaos in the courtyard. A crowd has assembled, surrounding Blaze as he writhes on the ground. His beautiful white coat is dirty all over. He must have been rolling around on the gravel for a while.
"What happened?" I ask loudly and the crowd falls silent, quickly opening a passage so I can reach the unicorn.
A Guardian steps forward, only wearing a pair of loose trousers. His chest is sleek with sweat; he must have been training here when it happened.
"He was eating, or at least that's what he said he was doing, when he suddenly whinnied and collapsed. We tried to help him up, but then he started convulsing. Whenever he stops moving, he says the same words."
"Which are?" I ask sharply when he doesn't continue immediately.
"Spring dies, Summer falls, betrayed by darkness. Autumn's missing. Winter's called to help." He shrugs as if that doesn't make sense at all.
"That's all?"
"At the beginning, he muttered something about balances, but maybe I misheard him."
That's all too much of a coincidence. My mother tells me that the balance needs to be kept intact, and a moment later, Blaze does the same thing? Maybe this is just an elaborate plot to make me accept the crown.
The unicorn whinnies in pain and I immediately know how wrong I am. This isn't a plot. This is real.
I approach him, staying out of reach of his twitching hooves.
"Blaze? Can you hear me?"
He suddenly grows still, his ears twitching.
"Touch my horn," he rasps, his eyes rolling back and forth like he has no control about them.
I hesitate for a moment, but then do as he asks, grabbing his horn, still making sure to stay away from his shaking legs.
A flash of rainbow light assaults my senses and then I'm floating, no longer in the courtyard. I know this place...
"Where are we?"
I swirl around and stare at Blaze. The unicorn is looking as healthy as ever, his fur shimmering in the colourful light surrounding us.
"You don't know?"
"We're in your head, silly. This is your dream, not mine."
I blush. "When I first stepped through the Gate at the Calanais Stones, I ended up on a rainbow. This rainbow." I don't tell him that I also had sex on this very rainbow. It's already embarrassing enough to be back here, in the tackiest place in the universe.
"I like it," he says cheerfully. "You've got taste."
"Shut up and explain what's happening."
He whinnies. "So impatient. But you're right, we don't have much time. My body won't be able to deal with the magic overdose for much longer without your help."
"Magic overdose?"
He paws the ground, looking a little sheepish. "I overate."
"Seriously? You ate too much and now you're having seizures?"
"It was on purpose."
I shake my head, incredulous. "You wanted this to happen?"
"When I get gorged on magic, I get visions. Sometimes, not always, but in a place as full of magic as this Palace, I thought it was worth a try."
I sigh. "And you couldn't have warned someone about it?"
"You weren't there," he complains. "And I didn't think it would happen this quickly. Now, when we go back, you need to listen exactly to what I say. I can't always remember, so don't expect me to tell you afterwards. Then, you need to pull the excess magic out of my body. It might make you feel a little weird, though."
"Weird? How?"
He blushes in his strange unicorn way. "Remember sparklies?"
"No. No way!"
I step away from Blaze, glaring at him.
"It's the only way. Just make sure that someone gets you out of sight quickly." He grins. "Especially now that you've decided you're going to be Queen."
"I have not," I protest, but he groans.
"Time to go back. Remember, listen to what I say. Write it down, if you have to. Then get the magic out of me. It hurts."
Before I can say anything, the rainbow light flashes again and I'm back in the courtyard, stumbling away from the unicorn who's still on the ground, his entire body twitching.
"Get my Guardians!" I shout at one of the onlookers. "Now!"
They hurry away and I turn back to Blaze.
"Quiet, everyone! Listen to what he says and write it down if you can," I command, and silence falls. The entire crowd is waiting to hear what Blaze is about to say. I hope he's actually going to say something, otherwise I won't have a clue what to do.
"Spring is taken," he suddenly groans. "Spring is taken. Summer will be betrayed. Where is Autumn? Find Autumn or Winter will thaw. The balance must be maintained. Darkness is coming, there's no escape."
He whinnies in pain and falls silent. Froth is forming around his mouth as his body begins to seize again. I close my eyes and focus on the magic around him. He's a beautiful sight, his entire body made of magic, colourful and bright. Right now though, it's sparking all over the place, like electricity that's about to turn into lightning.
I start to funnel some of the excess magic away from Blaze and into myself. Maybe I should disperse it into the environment, but who knows what unicorn magic might cause if it's set free. It's not like I have any experience with this kind of magic. Except for sparklies. I really hope my Guardians will be there to take me away. If my previous reactions to the unicorn drug are anything to go by, it will be embarrassing as hell.
When I've pulled enough magic away from him - at least I hope so - I open my eyes again. Blaze has stopped twitching and is breathing heavily instead.
I kneel by his sid
e. "Blaze?"
He slowly opens one eye. "Sleep."
I smile. "Sleep as long as you need to."
I get up again and turn to the crowd. "I want someone to stay with him until he can get up by himself. If there's any change, you notify me immediately." Two Guardians bow and take up positions on either side of the unicorn, looking ready to fight off both enemies and curious onlookers. I'm still surprised at the fervour with which people carry out my commands nowadays.
So far, I'm not noticing any effect of the unicorn magic. Maybe I'm strong enough to withstand it now. I concentrate on the magic inside of me. She's sleeping in her cave, her head almost touching the ceiling. She's grown so much, but I don't know how to make the cave bigger. A cloud of rainbow dust is swirling around her. Blaze's magic, just as eccentric and flamboyant as he is. One day, I hope I'm going to meet other unicorns so I can find out whether he's special even among his own species, or whether they're all like him.
I smile at the thought of seeing a herd of unicorns. Do they have herds? I think they're too solitary for that. But still, maybe Blaze has family he could introduce me to. Siblings? Parents? Baby unicorns? I would love to cuddle a baby unicorn. Are they born with horns or do they grow later? I hope the latter, otherwise I imagine the birth to be pretty painful for the mother unicorn.
"I think it's time ta leave," a gentle voice says behind me and I turn to find my Guardians waiting for me. They're forming a line, blocking my view of the rest of the crowd.
"Leave? Why?" I ask in confusion.
Arc laughs. "I dinnae think people want ta hear yer thoughts about baby unicorns." He steps forwards and sweeps me into his arms. "Yer very cute when yer stoned."
"Wyn, can you teleport us to your quarters?" Storm asks and I nod enthusiastically. Nothing better than being in my rooms with my men.
I transport us into my bedroom.
"I think ya forgot the others," Arc grins as soon as we've arrived.
Oh. Yes. Oops.
"Sorry."
"Was it intentional?" he asks, turning me so I face him. His hands on my shoulders feel good, so good. I want to feel them everywhere.
Winter Goddess_A reverse harem romance Page 5