by Allison, J
His body was stunning, golden tanned, long and muscular, I pulled him down towards me again but he hesitated this time. I moved my lips up to his and kissed him hard, he returned it, just as hard and urgent, before pulling back, leaving me to try and gather my thoughts as he sat up, smiling down at me.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to arrange my thoughts so that I could form a coherent sentence.
“You don’t have to stop.”
His chuckle was light and a little strained, “Yes I do.”
“Why?”
“Because if I don’t stop now I won’t be able to.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” I asked dropping my eyes, feeling suddenly shy.
“It might be.”
He disappeared in a blindingly fast movement towards my drawers where he picked up my pajamas from where I had dropped them earlier, within a blink he was back on the bed holding them out to me.
“Put these on.” his smile was beginning to relax again, but I saw a hint of regret in his eyes as I took the clothes from him.
I stood boldly in front of him, pulling the corners of my towel loose, a whoosh of air made me look up, he was standing in the doorway, back to me, his shirt already on again.
“You’re a terrible tease,” this time his voice really was strained, “it’s not right Ava, Not… yet,”
I sighed, dropping my towel anyway, he flinched as he heard it hit the ground and I smiled. Pulling my pajamas on quickly I went over to him, hugging him from behind and resting my cheek against his warm back. He turned in my arms, holding me tight, he sighed before relaxing in my arms.
“Now,” he said, sounding again like his usual self, “I think perhaps you should get some sleep it’ll be light soon.”
“Wha…” I was stunned, I spun to look at my bedside clock, he was right, the sun would be shining again in another two hours. The night had flown by without me realizing.
“Will you stay with me?” I sounded terribly needy but I couldn’t be without him tonight.
He laughed, leading me by the hand towards my bed.
“Nothing could keep me away.”
26.
The next few weeks passed in a blur, moving almost as quickly as Robert did. I spent my days swimming with Sally and Laura at the river, lying in the sun and baking myself to a summery bronze in the summers final days. Counting down the hours until Robert would be finished and I could excuse myself to bed where I spent my nights talking to him about everything, both of us tireless in the search for knowledge of the other. We had gone straight back to how it had been before, neither of us needing to say anything, both of us knowing we couldn’t live without the other. Robert seemed a little lighter than he had before, his mood a little easier.
Allison hadn’t come again and there had been no other contact from anyone like Robert, although that didn’t stop me noticing the way he hovered around me, protective, constantly listening. Always near. But as the days passed we both began to relax, although I felt his presence more keenly then before my visit from Allison.
All too soon it was the eve of the North South muster, Robert would be gone a week. I had become so used to his presence again that the thought of him leaving, even for a short time, made me feel a little anxious.
“Do you really have to go?”
As had become usual Robert was lying next to me, the light from my lamp illuminating my room in a soft golden glow, the window open letting the cool night air come through. I watched goose bumps raise along my arms as the breeze reached us, Robert smoothed his hand across them, his searing heat erasing them instantly.
“I’m sure you have some sort of built in furnace.” I smiled, relishing the warmth of him.
“I could close the window?”
“No, don’t move.” I sighed, closing my eyes, Robert chuckled bringing his other arm around me, it was so easy to forget everything when he held me.
“So you didn’t answer my question,”
“I think you know the answer to it anyway,” I could hear the smile, still present, in his voice.
“Maybe you could say you’re sick?” I asked, hopeful.
He laughed quietly again, “Or maybe I could just steal you away and not return.”
“I like that plan,”
“You’re ridiculous sometimes.” he chuckled,
“So you have to go then?”
“It’s only for five days Ava, I’ll be back before you know it.”
“I know, but I like having you around.”
“Good, don’t forget that, I don’t want to come back and find you’ve moved on.” he joked.
“That would never happen.” I reinforced this by stretching up to kiss him softly, “I don’t know how to explain us Robert, but this is different, you and I, I mean.”
“Hmmm,” he mused, a light thoughtful smile on his face, “I can’t explain it either.”
A while later, when the sun had barely began to rise and my room was still bathed in darkness I woke to his voice, soft against my ear.
“I love you Ava, I’ll never stop.”
I rolled to face him, nuzzling into his neck,
“I love you too.”
I woke the next morning chilled from the breeze coming through my window, the sun was up and I could hear Nan banging around in the kitchen.
Robert was gone and would be gone for five long days, I groaned rubbing the last of the sleep from my eyes, it was going to be a long week.
Pulling myself out of bed I noticed a note on my bedside table.
See you in five days,
Don’t play with any matches and don’t ride any horses.
I love you.
R
I smiled to myself folded the note and put it into my top drawer before heading towards the enticing smell of breakfast, where I would put a plan in place to fill my next five days.
The worst part of this whole week was the fact that Nan and Pop would be away as well, they were heading to San Diego to visit Pops brother, my great uncle Sam, something they apparently did at the end of every summer. The reason for Nans banging in the kitchen became apparent when I got there.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked, standing back to admire the table which was covered in an array of pre prepared meals, cakes and biscuits.
“I’ve made you a dinner for every night we’re away, I’ll pop them in the freezer and you can get one out each day.” she announced proudly.
“I can cook you know.”
“I know dear but I wanted to make sure you were looked after since you’re going to be by yourself for a few days, I feel like we leave you alone all the time lately.”
I opened my mouth to answer but before I could Pop strode in.
“Don’t question it love,” he said quickly, surveying the dinners and baking laid out before quickly popping a piece of chocolate brownie into his mouth, “Just thank her and eat it, that’s what I do.”
“Oh,” I laughed, “well okay, ah, thanks Nan,” I looked over the numerous cakes and biscuits she had made.
“I’ll be so big I’ll roll out the door when you get back.”
“Can’t have you starving now can we.” Nan grinned,
“No chance of that,” I smiled, packing some of the biscuits into a container before helping her put away the rest. Now I wouldn’t even have meal preparation to fill in my time, what was I going to do?
“When are you leaving?” I asked after all the food had been stowed away and I was sitting down to a piece of toast.
“After lunch,” Pop answered dropping a couple more slices of bread into the toaster, “We fly out of Denver at five.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come dear, Uncle Sam would love to see you,” Nan put in, “It’s not too late…” she trailed off suggestively,
“Thanks but no,” I cringed, “Maybe I’ll go next summer, just give me a week’s head start and I’ll drive.”
Nan smiled, like everyone else she couldn’t un
derstand my unreasonable fear of flying. And besides, I had another motive behind not going, Robert would beat them home by three days, I was willing to be by myself for five just to get those days alone with him when he returned.
The rest of my morning passed in a blur, much to my delight, half a day down four and a half to go.
I really need to get more of a life, I thought to myself as I helped Nan roll their suitcases out to Pops ‘good’ black pickup.
“So Roberts away as well for a few days?” Nan asked casually as we headed back indoors, making me wonder if indeed everything I thought did in fact show on my face.
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” I tried to sound as vague as possible, although I had never been very good at lying.
Nan looked at me, a strange smile on her face,
“You don’t need to pretend honey, we know what’s going on.”
“You do?” My heart raced, just how much did they know, surely they didn’t know he visited every night, Pop may have a soft spot for me but he also had very old fashioned values and a boy in my bedroom at night didn’t really play into his list of ideal situations.
“He’s your boyfriend.” her voice was light.
“Ahhh…” I felt my cheeks burn, Nan laughed,
“It’s okay Ava, I’m just letting you know that we know and its okay if he comes around more often to visit when he’s home again, it can’t be much fun having a boyfriend when he doesn’t ever come around.”
If only they knew.
“Err, yeah…” I tried to keep a straight face.
“Right,” Nan changed the subject, “Now all I have to do is get your grandfather in the car and we’ll be ready to go.”
Grandpop turned out to be rather elusive, he was off with Shawn running over everything that needed to be done on the farm. Since Jed was still confined to his wheel chair, he would be the administrative side of the ranch while Nan and Pop were away. Eventually Nan managed to bundle Pop into the pickup, still calling instructions to Shawn, only thirty minutes late on their way to the airport.
“So what’s your plan for the week Ava?” Shawn asked once it was only the two of us left standing in yard.
“Well to tell you the truth I really don’t know.” I sighed, and then a thought hit me, “do you need any help?” Maybe some farm work would fill in a few days.
Shawn considered this, rubbing his chin, probably thinking of the burnt down stables, my fall and my generally pathetic weak disposition.
“To tell the truth Hun, even considering all Freds yapping there isn’t really a lot to do, the hays done for the summer, I just have to keep an eye on the animals and do a bit of fencing, and… hey,” his eyes shone,
“I do have some troughs need cleaning if you wanna help,”
“Let me guess you’re giving me the bad job?”
“The worst,”
“I’ll do it.”
“Pining for Robert already are ya?” he teased, I felt myself flush,
“Not at all, there’s just not much to do around this tiny town.” I snapped.
“On the defensive as well, and it hasn’t even been a day.” He laughed.
“Give it a bone Shawn.”
“Okay okay, anyway, there are the troughs, if you wanna tackle those.”
“Right, give me what I need and point me in the right direction, surely I can’t break a trough.”
Shawn narrowed his eyes giving me a doubtful look, which I ignored, I was ready to begin my task.
By the end of the next day I was exhausted, my arms ached so much I could not even lift them above my head and, to make it worse, I had skinned most of my knuckles from scrubbing the inside of the large concrete water troughs. The terrible part was that I had only managed to finish eight of them.
“That’s enough!” Shawn laughed as he watched my attempt to push the door of the old red hatch shut without using my arms, “I think tomorrow you should have the day off.”
“I don’t think I could do another day of this even if I wanted to,” I groaned, “My arms feel like they’re full of sand.”
Shawn chuckled,
“You’ve been a big help though Ava, thank you, but maybe you should spend the rest of the time recuperating, your arms are gonna ache for days.”
“Brilliant.” I groaned, trying to lift one arm high enough to wipe a strand of hair from my eyes.
I managed to drag myself into the house, I was so tired that I nearly fell face first into my reheated Sheppard’s pie, before luxuriating in the shower and getting into bed by seven pm.
At least it’s made the time pass quickly, I thought happily as I drifted off to sleep.
I was up early on the third day of Roberts absence, having gone to bed so early the night before I couldn’t sleep any longer and was out of bed before it was even fully light.
I felt guilty as I sat down to eat a breakfast of coffee and brownies, I could imagine Nan scolding me for not eating something nutritious, but I pushed this aside and sat down to watch the morning shows on MTV, something I realized with a shock, I hadn’t done since leaving Chicago.
As soon as it was a social enough hour I picked up the phone and dialled Sally.
“Hey,” she answered enthusiastically, “You haven’t gone into mourning then?”
“Ha ha, you’re very funny in the morning.”
“Oh come on, lighten up, he’ll be home soon, no need to snap.”
“I’m not snapping,” I forced myself to sound bubbly, “Do you want to catch up for lunch today?” I continued, I was actually in a good mood, the only thing that bought it down was the continuous teasing from everyone about Roberts absence.
“Sure, the diner?”
“Yeah around one, I’ll call Laura too.”
“Sounds great I’ll see you then.”
The line cut and I called Laura, she was keen as well and so I had a plan for today, a girly lunch and then maybe a swim I decided as an afterthought, might as well make the most of the river before it really was too cold.
In keeping with my planned girly day I picked up the phone and started dialling again, it had been too long since I had spoken to Julia and caught up on all the goss from my old home, and so I settled in with a few more brownies for a long chat.
“Hey Ava,” Laura waved to me from a table near the window, she was the only one here and we were both really early.
“Hi,” I waved back, making my way over, “how’s it going?”
Laura filled me in on everything she had been doing since we had last spoke, it turned out she was a keen horse woman and had been to a number of events around the district over the past few weeks.
“Hi guys,” I looked up to see Sally making her way between the tables, James and Will in tow, I sighed inwardly, so much for a girly lunch.
“Hey how’s my favourite rafter?” James teased giving me a playful punch on the arm as he sat.
“Ow ow ow!” I flinched, rubbing my arm gently.
“What?”
“Oh nothing, just, I have really sore arms, I’ve been helping out around the farm.”
James laughed, “Helping around the farm… you city girls really do struggle out here don’t you?”
“I’m still strong enough to hit you back.” I joked, James held up his hands in a mocking surrender.
Will sat next to me, Sally on his other side.
“So how’s it going with you?” Will asked dully, his usual smile missing.
“I’m pretty good actually, you?”
“Not bad.” he murmured, looking back towards James. That was strange, Will was usually so forward and teasing, today he seemed distant. Not that I was completely disappointed, if Sal had been right, if he did have a thing for me perhaps he was over it now. I decided to ignore his mood, I had never really understood him anyway, and continued chatting to the girls.
“So you see,” Sally was saying, dominating the conversation as usual, “I don’t know whether to have a Luau or go to Denver for my eighteenth.”<
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“When is it?” I asked,
“Oh not for a few months, but I want it to be good.”
“Hmm… have a Luau,” I laughed, “I’ve never been to one.”
Laura looked a little shocked at this confession and Sally rolled her eyes.
“Why does that not surprise me? Okay Luau it is, and it’s gonna be great!”
“When’s your eighteenth Ava?” Laura asked, taking another sip of her coffee.
“Two weeks.” I mumbled, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.
“Two weeks!” Sally squealed, “Wow what are we going to do?”
“I don’t really want to do anything.”
“Oh. Come. On,” Sally exclaimed, “It’s your eighteenth!”
“Really, I don’t want to do anything.” I said quietly, my first birthday as an orphan, no matter what age I was turning, was not something I had planned on celebrating. James shot Sally a meaningful glance, obviously he understood my reluctance. I smiled to myself, so Sally and James were already at the stage of being able to converse full sentences in a look. I knew I shouldn’t be surprised, the more I learnt about them the more it sounded like they had basically grown up together. Dating was just the next logical step for them.
We ordered and ate to general chatter about what was happening, strangely Will didn’t say another word to me throughout the meal and I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I didn’t want his undying attention but polite conversation would have been preferable to this.
“So why didn’t you go on the big North South whatsit?” Will asked James, I almost jumped at the sound of his voice, he had been so quiet. Although he did bring up a good point though, what was James still doing in town.
“The muster, yeah I was gutted, I’m missing out on some good money sitting here with you plebs instead of being out there. My horse went lame two days before it so I couldn’t go.”
“Couldn’t you take a motorbike or something?” I asked, Sally, Laura and James burst into fits of laughter, apparently not.
“God I’m stuffed.” Sally declared stretching, “I really shouldn’t have had the burger as well.”
“Wanna go for a swim?” I asked, directing it towards the girls, I didn’t want Will there in his current mood.