I felt as if I were Alice in Wonderland and I’d fallen down a rabbit hole, falling still. There was no bottom to this place. There was no beginning either. I was just falling endlessly.
I didn’t know which way was up or which way was down. There probably was no direction here, because I wasn’t going anywhere. I knew I wasn’t alone, but I saw no one, yet I heard them. Tortured wails, distorted moans came out of the darkness and pummeled me. It sent me spiraling, spinning in all directions. I felt as if I were being pulled apart, but still I stayed together.
There was no end to the constant noise. I tried to call out to them to stop, but I had no voice. I had no mouth. No one would see me, no one would hear me, but I would be here.
Forever floating.
I tried to call upon a memory, a thought to keep me sane. Something to hold on to. Something to envision.
But they were all out of reach. I had no memories. I had no thoughts. All I had were the screams, the echoes of anguish, and the constant feeling of nothing.
I began to envy those cries in the dark. Because at least they had something. They had a way to show their pain. They, too, knew something had been taken away from them. They mourned for the things they couldn’t remember. They mourned for the emptiness that encompassed us.
I didn’t even have that.
All I had was the taunting, fleeting knowledge that I’d lost everything and gained nothing.
I did have a second to wonder when it would end.
But then I realized it would not.
* * *
I woke with a shuddering breath, the kind that pulls you up off of what you’re lying on. And for me, that would be the kitchen floor. I steadied myself, bracing my palms on the cold tile and took another deep breath.
Feelings and sensations rushed over me. It was almost overwhelming. I sat there for I don’t know how long trying to make sense of them all. Trying to sort out everything.
When I tried to think about what happened, all I got was this empty blackness that seemed to open up inside my chest and try to pull me in. I jumped up onto my feet, trying to get away from whatever it was that wanted to claim me.
“Ah, you’re back,” called a voice from the living room.
I spun and walked toward the couch where G.R. was lying on his back, his hands across his abdomen and his eyes closed. He was so bony he looked like a corpse.
“What happened?” I asked, my voice low and scratchy like I hadn’t spoken in days.
“I gave you a taste of what it was like to be recalled,” Grim said, opening his eyes to stare at me. “How was it?”
Panic seized my chest and I gripped the back of the couch. “Please don’t send me back there.” I begged. It was a place far worse than hell.
G.R. threw his legs over the side of the couch and sat up. “I see my message was received.”
“Your message?” I said, confused. The empty void of that place was still swirling through my mind, making it very hard to think.
He stood and looked at me. “That the Target will be eliminated.”
Piper. Death. Job.
“Right,” I said, drawing in a shaking breath. “I’ll do the job. I swear.” Anything to avoid going back there.
“I trust that you will. You’re time has dwindled. Finish the job.”
I looked toward the window. It was dark.
“How long was I… was I gone?” I asked, trying desperately not to think of that place.
“Several days,” G.R. said, stepping away from the couch.
“Days?” I asked, shocked.
“Yes, now I really must be going. I have other Escorts and deaths to attend to.”
I stood there in shock as he seemed to create a doorway out of thin air and step through. Then it closed behind him, leaving me alone.
I suddenly had a very strong aversion to being alone.
There was a noise behind me and I turned to see Hobbs coming down the stairs. I’d never been so happy to see the butler in all my life.
“Hobbs,” I said, the relief clear in my voice.
“What has happened? Who was that man?” he asked, leaning more heavily on his cane than I’d ever seen before.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said, staring at the spot where Grim had disappeared.
“I am very good at the unbelievable,” Hobbs replied.
I shook my head and swayed a little on my feet.
“How long’s it been since you have eaten?” Hobbs asked, going into the kitchen. “You look horribly drained.”
I was drained. Every single thing inside me was completely emptied and then replaced. All to prove a point.
I sank onto a stool at the island.
Hobbs picked up the pot and smelled the black liquid that looked more like mud. “Um, sir. How long has this been here?”
“I have no idea, Hobbs,” I said. “Probably days.”
He made a noise and then began moving around the kitchen. I barely paid attention to anything he was doing. I kept slipping back into that world of nothing. The next time I looked down there was a steaming cup of coffee, practically white with creamer.
I picked it up and drank about half in one great gulp.
“I would apologize for being gone longer than expected, but it seems you haven’t noticed,” Hobbs said, refilling my cup.
“It’s been a strange few days,” I muttered, drinking more. I noticed the sound of sizzling bacon and the smell of scrambled eggs. My stomach growled loudly.
“Does this have anything to do with the dilemma we discussed before?”
“Something like that,” I said, running a hand through my hair.
“Maybe it’s time you explain everything to me.”
“I can’t.”
“Maybe I can help you,” he said, setting a full plate in front of me. For the first time ever, the bacon wasn’t appealing.
“No one can help me,” I said.
“I don’t believe that.”
“Believe what you want,” I muttered, shoving a bite of eggs in my mouth. It didn’t taste as good as usual, but I ate it anyway because my stomach felt like it might consume itself.
Hobbs said nothing else and I continued to eat in silence, trying not to think of where I’d been. Grim made his point. Being recalled was the worst thing I could ever imagine. Actually, it was worse than anything I ever imagined.
I couldn’t go back there.
“I have to finish the job,” I said to myself.
“What job?” Hobbs asked.
I stood, my chair clattering to the floor. “I have something I have to do.”
“Wait!” Hobbs called behind me. “What is it?”
“I have to do it,” I told him.
I grabbed my keys and went out the garage door.
“There is always a choice,” Hobbs yelled after me.
He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what it was like there… floating for days. If he did, he would understand. I couldn’t go back there. I wouldn’t.
This time I had no choice.
Chapter Forty-Six
“Fight - A confrontation between opposing groups in which each attempts to harm or gain power over the other, as with bodily force or weapons.”
Piper
When we got to the sidewalk outside my apartment building the man had to pull the gun away from my head. Relief washed over me just because I didn’t have to feel the cold metal of the gun against my skin. But I knew I was far from danger.
He jammed the gun into my side and in low menacing tones he said, “Act normal or I guarantee I’ll shoot you right here and leave you to die on the pavement. Then I’ll go back upstairs and shoot your friend.”
I couldn’t let anything happen to Frankie. After that vision I had, I knew if this guy got anywhere near her again she really would die. I nodded and began walking. He nudged me along down the sidewalk a bit and when we passed by the small space between my building and the one next to it, I swear I saw somethin
g in the shadows move. I averted my eyes because I was afraid I would be too tempted to call out for help.
We came to a nearby alleyway and he told me to turn so I did and saw he had a car parked in the center. I didn’t pay attention to the make of the car because I was looking around for something I could use as a weapon.
Once we were out of the way of prying eyes, he shoved me to the side of the car, to the back door, and he flung it open. “Get in,” he said.
I shook my head.
“I said get in!” he demanded.
“And I said no!” I yelled and kicked him in the knee. He moaned and bent forward and I lunged passed him, running farther into the alley. I knew I should be running in the opposite direction, but I’d never make it past him. I just really hoped this didn’t turn out like a bad horror movie where the dumb chick gets it.
But I had to try. I had to at least attempt escape. I knew if I got in that car I wasn’t getting out alive. And his threat to Frankie was probably no good by now. She was probably already out of my apartment and on her way for help. If I could stall him or get away… that would be my best chance.
At the very back of the alley was a chain-link fence. When I reached it I skidded to halt but rammed into it and it made a loud clattering sound. My noise alerted two great big Doberman pinschers on the other side and they began barking and snarling. I swear one began foaming at the mouth. One of them tried to stick its head through a large cut in the bottom of the fence, snapping at my foot.
I looked over my shoulder. The man and his gun were dashing this way.
I had a choice to make. The dogs or the man with the gun.
I was going with the dogs. I dropped down on my butt and pried the fence up as high as it would go.
“Nice, doggie,” I tried but quickly realized that wasn’t going to help me.
“Git!” I yelled and kicked at one of them. They moved back and I began shimmying myself under the fence.
The man behind me made a sound, kind of like a growl, and I tried to move faster. But my shirt got caught on the fencing and one of the dogs bit at my shoe. And then he was on me, grabbing me roughly and pulling me back into the alley. I was still half lying on the ground when he leaned over me, snarling.
“You’ve been nothing but trouble, you know that?” he ground out and then he hit me in the head with his gun and everything went black.
Chapter Forty-Seven
“Determination - Firmness of purpose; resolve.”
Dex
I drove to Piper’s apartment because I figured there was nowhere else she would be besides work, and I knew she was off. Hobb’s words echoed through my head with every mile I drove.
There is always a choice.
Maybe in his world, but not in mine. He didn’t understand what I was caught up in. He probably never even considered that the Grim Reaper was even real. I never gave it much thought either until I met him and saw for myself.
Remnants of my time being recalled rattled around inside me and caused me to press down on the gas. I never wanted to go there again. I finally understood what Storm meant about there being worse things than not having a body. If I had to choose between not having a body and being recalled, I would’ve made the same choice as him.
I couldn’t even think of the words to describe that place. I wouldn’t even be able to begin to make them up either. There was simply no word or description that could give meaning to what I experienced.
I turned onto Piper’s street, steely resolve settling over me like ice on the ground, and looked for a place to park.
But there was nowhere.
Half the street was blocked off by police cruisers and people standing on the sidewalk. They were all in front of Piper’s building. My heart rate picked up a little and I told myself it was because the police made me nervous. Still, my eyes went up to the window that I knew was Piper’s.
It was shattered.
Jagged pieces of glass hung awkwardly from the sides and there was nothing left of the center.
I couldn’t park my car so I just slowed it to a crawl. I couldn’t help but notice how people turned to look and I realized this was not the kind of car that people drove in this neighborhood. This was the kind of car that would draw attention.
Just as I was about to take off down the road and ditch the car to come back on foot someone broke away from the crowd and came running. I was going to ignore her, but then I took another look… She looked familiar. It was the same girl I saw with Piper that day at the college. I think Piper said Frankie was her name.
I stopped the car and rolled down the passenger-side window as the woman with chin-length curly hair looked inside.
“Are you Dex?”
“Yeah. What’s going on?” I hitched my chin toward the building.
“Some guy who claimed to be a friend of yours came here tonight, pulled a gun, and kidnapped Piper.”
Shock and anger sliced through me. I felt my hands curl tightly around the steering wheel. Charming had threatened her, but part of me thought he wouldn’t do it. I didn’t think he would go against G.R. like that.
My thinking got my Target kidnapped.
“How long ago was he here?”
“An hour ago. Maybe more.”
“Get back,” I growled.
She barely stepped out of the way as I burned rubber all the way down the street.
Chapter Forty-Eight
“Trapped - in a tight corner, in a tight spot, with your back to the wall.”
Piper
I opened my eyes and then blinked to be sure they really were open. It was so dark here that for a minute I was fooled into thinking I really hadn’t opened them. I felt disoriented and confused, not really understanding what was happening. Then in a rush of panic and memory it all came back. The man with the gun, Frankie, and the dogs. He’d hit me and then put me here.
But where was here?
I stretched out my arm to see if I could feel anything and it very quickly hit against something solid covered in a fine, rough carpet. I was lying on my side and I rolled onto my back and reached up, hitting a very low ceiling… It wasn’t a ceiling.
It was a trunk.
He locked me up inside the trunk of his car.
I bit back the panic that immediately tried to grab hold. Panic wouldn’t help me now and hyperventilating would only reduce my oxygen supply. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to take a deep breath, and then I thought of somewhere else, somewhere I would rather be.
A vision of the northern lights flashed through my mind and the memory of lying against the snow so close to Dex calmed me. That’s where I’d rather be.
I had to be calm and rational about this. I couldn’t fall apart. If I died, Frankie would never forgive me.
Feeling more in control I opened my eyes. There had to be a way out of here.
I thought back to the features of the car. It was a newer car and newer cars all had safety latches in the trunks. If I could find it, I could get out and run for help.
I began running my hands along the sides of the trunk, looking for a button or a handle, anything I could use to set myself free. At times, I had to stop and remind myself not to panic. This tiny enclosed space made it really hard to breathe. After a few minutes of futile searching, I let out a frustrated cry and let my head fall to the side.
That’s when I saw it.
There was a very faint glowing just past the center (or what I thought was the center) of the side. It was shaped kind of like a handle. It must be glow-in-the-dark, I thought as I reached for the handle, hope bubbling up inside me.
Then from outside the car I heard a sound. A slam. Then the engine started and the car began to move. He was driving off, taking me somewhere he could probably kill me and then hide my body.
Chapter Forty-Nine
“Anger - A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.”
Dex
As soon as Piper’s building was out of sight, my cell phone rang.
It was Storm. “Tell me you know where she is,” I said as soon as I answered the call.
“He stuffed her in the trunk of a white car,” he said. “He’s driving now.”
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