Biting back the bitterness, she forced a smile and said, “No worries, guys.” She lifted Erica up again and between kisses said, “I’ll see you guys in a few hours.”
“I thought you said you’d watch her overnight?” Tyler said in a panic.
“I did, and I would love to. But I’ll see you in a few hours.” No matter how much they might want to have an evening all to themselves, she knew Katie. They would be picking up Erica before the night was over. As she stared into the sweet face of her niece, she couldn’t blame her. She wouldn’t want to leave her baby with anyone no matter how awesome an aunt they were.
“Thank you for doing this,” Katie said as she gave her a goodbye hug then kissed her daughter.
“You know I’m right.” Alexis waited for them to reply. “Right?”
Tyler shook his head and pointed a finger at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He could say whatever he wanted, but he would be knocking at her door in a few hours.
“Okay. Wink wink,” Alexis mumbled. “We both know Katie isn’t going to be able to stay away.”
Hours later she opened the door to Tyler. “I knew it!” Lucky for him, she had just fed Erica and changed her diaper. “So did you do it? Did you ask her to marry you?”
His embarrassed grin turned into an affectionate smile. “She said yes,” he said, almost sounding surprised.
“Like she would say no to you. I’m happy for you, Tyler. Both of you.”
He pulled her into a hug holding her tight against his chest. With a strained voice, he said, “I know this must be hard for you, it’s hard for me, but I love them with all my heart.”
The emotional floodgates opened, and she cried against his chest. “I know, and I am happy for you, but…”
“I know. They’re Eric’s girls.”
Alexis could feel sadness in his reply and had to set him straight. “That’s the thing; it hurts so much because I think they were always meant to be yours.”
He held her until she could pull herself together. She hadn’t realized the truth of her statement until she said it out loud. She never doubted Katie’s love for Eric or his love for her. She also knew Tyler would’ve never come between them, but… But Tyler and Katie were meant to be together.
After saying goodbye to Tyler, Erica, and Bubba, she went to her office to find something to distract her, but all she wanted to do was talk to Jason.
As if he knew she needed him, her phone rang with an incoming call from him.
With her emotions all over the place, she barely managed to say, “Hey.”
“Everything okay? Is Erica alright?”
“She’s fine. Tyler just picked her up.” She tried to sound happy, but she just couldn’t do it.
His voice lowered, and she could hear his concern when he asked, “What about you?”
“Can I come over?”
“You never have to ask, Alexis. It’s late, so why don’t you bring a change of clothes and your toothbrush. We can have a sleepover. I’m sure Benji would love to wake up to you here.” His words put a smile on her face, and she told him she would be there as soon as she could.
As she walked out the door with an overnight bag, Stan stopped her. “Are you staying with him?” he asked.
She looked into his eyes and saw pain but didn’t answer. She hated hurting her friend, but her feelings hadn’t changed.
“He’s going to hurt you, Alexis. Remember the way he treated you when you first met? I do.”
Without saying another word, she closed the door between them, wishing she could block the pain she caused him. She also wanted to block the worry she had that Jason would hurt her.
Sitting on his couch, she leaned into Jason allowing him to hold her in his arms as she told him about Katie and Tyler’s engagement. “I love her, and I love him. I even love them together, but I feel sad for my brother who didn’t get to experience the birth of his child or have a chance to marry. It doesn’t seem fair.”
He rubbed his hand up and down her back and whispered in her ear. “It’s not fair, and I’m sorry it isn’t.”
Though his words were simple, she found comfort in them.
When she began to yawn, he helped her up and took her hand. “Let’s get you to bed.” He picked up her overnight bag then guided her to his bedroom where he set the bag on the bed.
Wishing her goodnight, he turned to leave, but she wouldn’t let go of his hand. “You don’t have to go,” she whispered, feeling more vulnerable than she could remember.
Not once since they began spending time together had he made a move to push things further beyond kissing. Unsure of where they stood as a couple, or even if they were a couple, she didn’t push for more either. But tonight she wanted to sleep next to him in his arms.
“Are you sure? I mean we don’t have to do anything.” He tripped over his words making her smile. Eventually, they would have to clear up what they were to each other, but not tonight. Tonight she just needed to be close to him.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay.” He blew out a breath. “Good. Well, you can use the bathroom first.”
He spooned her from behind, and apologized as he tried to adjust himself so he didn’t poke her. “Don’t pay attention to my…uh… It’s unavoidable when I’m holding a beautiful woman.”
She had heard that a lot in her life, but she knew he thought her beautiful beyond her outer appearance. Turning around so she could be face to face with him, she leaned in and kissed him. With his shirt off, she ran her hands down his chest, loving the feel of him.
Placing her hand over his heart, she felt it quicken as their kisses intensified. She loved the taste of him in her mouth and the way he seemed to envelop all of her senses. Without warning, he rolled them over until he hovered over her with one hand in her hair, his other sliding down her body. “You take my breath away, Alexis. Being with you like this… I don’t have the words.” She didn’t either, but it didn’t matter. Feeling the weight of his body on hers felt right, and she wanted more.
When his hands reached the bottom of her tank top, he looked into her eyes asking for permission. With just the slightest nod, he moved his hand under her top, pushing it up as he left kisses on her stomach then breasts.
She gasped when one hand cupped her breast while he licked and sucked the other. Not since the night she lost her virginity at seventeen had she fooled around with a guy let alone had sex again. She didn’t remember it feeling this good.
Just his touch relieved an ache she didn’t realize she had. “More,” she whimpered as she tried to reach for his sleep pants to push them down. But just as she said more, he stopped. Breathing heavy, he braced his hands on either side of her and pushed up until he knelt in front of her. “What? You don’t want to?” She shook her head trying to think why he would stop all of a sudden. “Is it because of Benji?”
Bracing his hands on his knees, he drew in two large breaths. “I want to. More than anything, but we should wait.”
“Wait for…?” He didn’t answer right away, just looked into her eyes as he seemed to debate what to do.
On the verge of getting up to leave, he stopped her by hovering over her. “I want you to stay, but we need to wait. I think we need to talk more before we take this next step and now isn’t the right time. But please stay the night. I want you here with me.”
She nodded as he readjusted her shirt then laid next to her, pulling her to his chest. Where did this leave them
Just as she began to fall asleep, Jason’s door opened and a sleepy-eyed Benji stood in the doorway. “Hey, buddy, can’t sleep?”
Benji shook his head and climbed onto the bed. “Lexis, you’re here,” he said with a soft smile.
“I am. You want to cuddle?”
He nodded his head with a yawn as Jason lifted the blanket for him to settle between them. He fell back asleep before his head hit the pillow.
Jason looked at Alexis and shrugged. “This is my life, Alexis.” She knew he m
eant it as a warning, but she thought it was anything but.
“I know. I like your life.” Staring into her eyes, he reached over Benji and pressed his lips to her forehead and sighed with relief.
Chapter Twenty-Six
June 2016
Jason
A warm feeling came over Jason as he looked over at Alexis, who had cuddled his son in her arms. Both still asleep, he took his phone and snapped some pictures. He never wanted to forget this moment.
He knew his feelings for Alexis had grown, but what he felt at this moment was so much more. She belonged to him and Benji. He felt it deep in his heart. Not since Benji’s birth did he think he would find someone who would fit into their lives just by being herself. But Alexis did.
Jason couldn’t help feel like this was what a family looked like. He didn’t grow up with one, and he didn’t realize how badly he wanted one until her.
Benji blinked his eyes open and looked behind him at Alexis then faced Jason with an ear-to-ear grin. “Can she be my mom?” he said just above a whisper. Alexis’s eyes popped open, and she drew in a breath. Seconds later, she gave him a soft smile, and the fear in his chest eased. He didn’t want to break his son’s heart, but he didn’t know where they stood. Not until she knew about Belakor. Apparently, he didn’t need an answer right away because the next second Benji jumped up and asked, “Can you make pancakes? Not Lexis. She burns them.”
“Hey,” she said with a scratchy voice. “I heard that.” She reached for Benji and lifted him and pulled him to her lap where she proceeded to tickle him.
“Dad! Save me,” he said laughing so hard, he could barely breathe.
“He can’t save you from the tickle monster.” Their combined laughs hit him in a place in his heart he didn’t know existed. He wanted this. Them. All the time. Every day.
When their laughs died down, Benji jumped on Jason. “Pancakes now?” he said still breathing heavy from laughing.
“Come on. Let’s get started while Alexis takes a shower.” Benji jumped off the bed and ran out of the room leaving them alone. He took her hand and pulled her into his arms. “Will you go on a date with me tonight? Just me and you?”
“I’d love to.” He kissed her nose then helped her off the bed. “Thank you. For last night.” Her hand tightened in his. “It meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”
Pulling her into his arms, he held her tight wishing he didn’t have to let go.
“Dad!” Benji yelled form the kitchen.
“I’ll be out in a little bit. He can’t complain about my table setting skills,” she said with a laugh.
Jason kept his hand on Alexis’s lower back as they followed the Maître d’ to their table. His heart raced looking at this beautiful woman next to him. She had always been beautiful and turned heads where ever she went, but tonight he felt wholly inadequate being by her side. For more than one reason.
He swallowed the growing lump in his throat as he took the seat opposite her. She smiled at him over her menu taking his breath away, like she always did. The knot in the pit of his stomach grew as he realized he had to tell her about Belakor before they could move forward. And he wanted to move forward. More than anything else in this world.
“Wow. Everything looks delicious,” she commented as she scanned the menu.
“Can you put that down for a minute?” His voice wavered giving away his anxiety.
She laid down the menu and reached for his hand. “Everything okay?”
He hoped. “I need to tell you something.” He looked down at their entwined hands and prayed she would forgive him for not telling her sooner. Taking a deep breath, he looked her in the eyes and said, “I’m Belakor.”
She laughed and said, “What?” as if she didn’t quite hear him.
“I’m Belakor. I know you’re Nysterie.” Her smile dimmed as she pulled her hand away.
He stared at his empty hand then to her. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner. I wanted to but then the timing didn’t seem right and then so much time had passed. I mean it’s kind of funny. Right?” he said with a forced smile.
Her face paled as she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. As tears formed in her eyes, she asked, “How…how long did you know?”
“I suspected in January when Kami came by my apartment to drop off my keys. I was logged in as Belakor, and she said that you played with someone with the same name. But I didn’t know for sure until March.”
She clenched her fists. “Five months? And Kami knows too?”
Running both hands down his face, he said, “Yes. But…”
Throwing her napkin on the table, she whisper yelled, “So, I was some joke to you? Did you two have a good laugh about the dumb blonde falling for you and your awesome kid?”
The moment she shoved back her chair and stood, he reached for her, toppling his chair trying to keep her from leaving. When she slapped his hand away and said, “Don’t follow me,” with a stray tear falling down her cheek, he berated himself for hurting her again. He didn’t deserve to have so many chances with her, but he couldn’t let her go, not when she had his and Benji’s hearts in the palm of her hand.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
June 2016
Alexis
How could I be so stupid? Betrayed and angry, she picked up her purse and ran out of the restaurant without saying a word. All the time she spent worrying about Belakor after he stood her up twice and then to find out it had all been a big joke. Jason got her good. He knew for months and never told her. Never even hinted that they knew each other.
At least now she knew why Belakor stopped talking to her, but being treated like she didn’t matter in real life and online hurt. How many late nights had she stayed up talking to him, and he never said a word?
“Alexis. Stop. Please. Let me explain.”
She turned around so fast her purse swung around and hit him right in the junk. Even though it hadn’t been intentional, she quite enjoyed the way he fell to the ground in front of her, holding himself while trying to breathe.
He held up his hand and groaned. “Wait. Just wait.” But she took the opportunity to get away. There was nothing he could say to make this better. He hurt her and getting hit in the crotch was the least he deserved. Her heart hurt; she had fallen in love with him, but she was a joke to him.
She looked behind her just as she got to an available cab. Bent over, he lifted his head and called for her again.” Shaking her head with tears in her eyes, she got in the cab and gave the driver her address.
Thinking about the past six months and all the back and forth between them, it all made sense. She was a toy, entertainment for him.
Before she could close the front door of her condo, Stan was at her side giving her those damn puppy dog eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“No.” She shook her head then began to cry. All of her anger turned to hurt. Not the pretty kind either. Tears streamed down her face as her body shook with sadness. Stan put his arms around her and held her tight, rubbing a hand up and down her back trying to comfort her.
Wiping at her eyes, Alexis looked up at her friend she had known since middle school and wished she could love him like she did Jason. Still angry and hurt, she touched his chest then looked into his eyes almost hoping to feel something for Stan.
“Let me kiss you, Alexis. I can make it better,” he whispered, his lips inches from hers. All she had to do was lean forward and their mouths would meet, but she didn’t want Stan. Not like that. She wanted Jason.
Just as she took a step back, a low, threatening voice behind her said, “Get your hands off my girlfriend!”
Alexis whipped around to see a red-faced Jason standing in her doorway with his hands fisted and a deep scowl like she had never seen. Stan tried to push her behind him, but she refused to move. She didn’t need saving, but she needed to get Jason out of her condo. Having him see her crying pissed her off. She didn’t want him to see her broken and vulnerable.
“Get out before I call the cops!” Stan shouted, but Jason just shook his head and stared at her.
“Alexis, you can’t be with this guy,” he said pointing his finger at Stan but never taking his eyes off her.
“Why? He didn’t make a fool out of me.” With her emotions all over the place, her voice shook and squeaked at the end.
“Because,” he said with a low voice. “I love you, and I want you to be with me. Me and Benji.” Her jaw dropped, and she sucked in a breath, unsure how to respond.
“Get out of here! She came home crying because of you.”
Before Jason could respond, Alexis stepped in between them and looked at Stan. “Can you leave us alone for a few minutes? I need to talk to Jason. Alone.”
“Unbelievable. I’ve always been good to you, and he treated you like crap for over a year, but you’re going to go to him. Aren’t you?”
“I didn’t say that, I just said I wanted to talk to him.” The whole time she spoke, Stan shook his head.
“I can’t do this, Alexis. I can’t be your friend and see you with someone like him. I’ll stay with my parents tonight and move out as soon as I can.”
“Good,” Jason grumbled behind her as she watched Stan storm out the front door, slamming it behind him.
Turning around she said, “You!” She poked her finger against his hard sexy chest, “Can’t come in here bossing me around and say you love me after what you did to me. I’m still angry.”
Taking a step forward until he stood in front of her, he cradled her face in his hands and whispered, “Alexis, I’m sorry. I am. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to ruin what we had going. That’s why as Belakor I stopped talking to you.”
Until You Page 10