by Ao Jyumonji
“N-No! Please, do take me!“
“But, let me warn you.” The woman stabbed her knife into the desk and licked her lips. “I’m a harsh mistress, you know? If you can’t keep up, you’ll be punished, okay?”
“...Go easy on me, please.”
The woman chuckled, brushing her hair to the side. “Do you know the code of the thieves’ guild?”
Here in the frontier, there were organizations called guilds. Guilds were basically trade unions for blacksmiths, carpenters, masons, chefs, and so on. It went as far as there being guilds for fighters, mages, priests and paladins, hunters, dark knights, and even thieves.
A guild was a benefit society for people in the same trade, an association to defend their rights, and an organization where they could train together.
In order to take up work in this area, he needed to join a guild. If anyone tried to work without being part of a guild, the guilds would always get in their way. Because everyone knew that, no one would hire a person not attached to a guild.
He could only join one, which felt kind of restricting, but the guilds put serious effort into developing the skills of their junior members. If he joined a guild, they would teach him the basics of his job. Or to put it another way, for as long as he didn’t join a guild, he could never learn the skills associated with that job.
Of course, the guilds didn’t let anyone in for free.
What was more, once he joined, he would have to follow set regulations — a code — or face punishment.
Incidentally, this was all stuff he had learned from Manato.
Manato had told him about the unusual code that the thieves guild had. Partly because of that, Haruhiro had chosen this guild from the many options available.
“There isn’t one, right? That’s what I hear.”
“Exactly.” The woman pulled the knife out of the desk, giving it a twirl. “Well, there is honor among thieves, though. Like not running jobs on another member’s turf, not stealing from our own, and so on. If we apply that to a volunteer soldier, it’d mean you should keep a one-thief limit per party and not steal from your fellow thieves or volunteer soldiers, I guess. I’ll get into it later. If you become a thief, that is.”
“I want to... is what I’m thinking.”
“This isn’t just about what you ‘want,’” the woman said, sticking out her hand, palm up. “I’m sure you know this, but you’ll need to have something to give me first. The guilds don’t let anyone in for free.”
Haruhiro pulled out the pouch he had forced into his pocket, pulling the string to open it. According to Manato, this was the same for every guild. What’s more, they had agreed to fix prices, so it cost the same no matter which you joined. New members were made to take seven days of lessons for beginners and be thoroughly drilled on the basics of their job. That was true across all guilds, as well.
Haruhiro pulled silver coins from his pouch. One, two, three— Really, this feels... expensive to me. Not like there’s any other choice, though. Without any knowledge or skills, there’s no way I could make it as a volunteer soldier. I’ve been told that, and I can’t say I disagree. Even so, it’s not cheap. Four, five, six, seven... eight silver coins.
Eight Silver was 800 copper. He could eat 200 of the meat skewers with that money. Was it really okay to pay this much?
He had no choice. After hearing what Manato had to say, they’d all agreed. Every one of them should be joining a guild right now.
He took a deep breath, and he laid out eight silver coins on the woman’s palm.
The woman clutched the coins and gave him a charming smile.
“Payment received. After this, you’ll technically have to take your oath, but our guild members are freedom-loving, libertine, and take responsibility for themselves. Now you’re one of us. Pretty easy, huh?”
“...Sure was. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve even given you my name yet.”
“We thieves go by a trade name. Your real name doesn’t matter. You’re just a new face here now. Once your seven days of training are over, as your mentor, I’ll christen you with a suitable trade name. If you want an impressive one, you’d better work for it.”
“Uh, then... should I call you Sensei?
“Oh, my.” The woman leaned forward, placing her hand under Haruhiro’s jaw.
Wow... Her boobs are absurdly huge. Haruhiro was nearly at risk of having to hunch over so she didn’t notice his reaction.
“You’d call me Sensei? That’s not bad at all.” The woman grinned, stroking underneath Haruhiro’s chin. “I’m Barbara. I think we’re going to have fun these next seven days.”
5. Meetup
Whether or not they actually had fun, he would never be able to tell anyone about those seven days.
The freewheeling nature of the thieves’ guild meant he was free to quit anytime he wanted. He could rejoin later for eight silver, but only those who had attained the rank of mentor could teach others about thief methods, ambush tactics, the killing arts, and other secret skills of the guild.
What happened during training was, as a general rule, not to be disclosed to outsiders. That was why he couldn’t talk about it.
The work name given to him by his mentor was one only to be used in the world of thieves. There was no need to tell it to ordinary people. Not that he’d have wanted to.
“...Because it’s Old Cat. My work name is Old Cat.”
According to Barbara-sensei, his sleepy eyes made him look like a tired, old cat.
He couldn’t deny that there was some resemblance, but it was kind of an awful name. Why couldn’t he have been Panther, or Jaguar, or Hawk? There had to have been a cooler name she could have given him. Honestly, he was starting to feel like he’d have been satisfied with pretty much anything but Old Cat.
In any case, after seven days of training, complete with room and board, Haruhiro was now a competent thief...
...Not.
Barbara-sensei had taught him thief morals, thief philosophy, the importance of ambush tactics, and two skills: Picking, which was a thief’s most basic skill, and Slap, which was the most basic of basic techniques in the art of fighting and killing.
Still, he hadn’t mastered any of it.
Haruhiro would have to gradually improve those skills through experimentation. And to pick up more skills in the future, he would have to return to the guild and learn them from his mentor. Of course, that would cost something, and of course he would have to stay overnight for several days of lessons.
In other words, Haruhiro had learned the skills Picking and Slap, but his proficiency with them was much too low for him to use them reliably.
As a gift to celebrate the end of his training, he had been given an old thief cloak, a well-used dagger, an equally well-used set of thief tools, and a second-hand pair of thief boots, all of which he was wearing right now. He probably looked at least somewhat thief-like thanks to this, but he couldn’t really move like a thief just yet.
After Barbara-sensei’s harsh training, he had learned that the path of the thief wasn’t easy. Quite the opposite, in fact, and he was a new thief just taking his first steps down that path. That was Haruhiro’s situation right now.
“Is this going to be all right...?” he wondered.
Old Cat headed on to his destination with a sigh.
It was still before noon, so the market wasn’t all that crowded. There were only two customers in front of Dory’s Skewers. One was a curly-haired man in what looked like leather armor with a longsword, and the other was wearing a bow and quiver of arrows over her back with a large machete at her hip. She had her hair in braids.
“Ranta, Yume!”
“Oh?” Ranta said, turning around.
Yume did the same, still gnawing hungrily at a skewer of meat. “Huwha?”
Yume’s relaxed expression was a sight for sore eyes to Haruhiro. Even Ranta’s curly hair was a welcome sight.
Thinking back, the training had been pre
tty difficult.
Barbara-sensei was always sexy, but she was also a total sadist sometimes. She’d never let up on him. At night, as he’d slept on the hard floor of what he liked to call his solitary confinement cell in the thieves’ guild, wrapped only in a dirty blanket, he had imagined the hard time the others must be having, too. The thoughts may not have made him feel he needed to try his hardest, but they had helped to console him a little.
Honestly, it had been pretty bad for him. There were a few times when he had thought he couldn’t do it or couldn’t take anymore and had considered running away. But he’d been terrified of Barbara-sensei, and that had kept him from ever going through with it.
“Ranta...! Yume...!” Haruhiro ran over and went to give them both a high-five.
Ranta returned the high five with a confused “Yeah!” but Yume had a look on her face like she had no clue what to do, and she just left his hand hanging there pathetically.
Had he gotten carried away? It was a bit awkward. Oh, well.
Haruhiro cleared his throat a bit. “Hey. How’re you doing? Where’s everyone else?”
“We’re getting along pretty well for now,” Ranta said, looking around. “Nobody but us has made it back yet, I guess?”
“Yuhme ish...” Yume started trying to talk with her mouth still full, but she choked on some of her meat and started coughing. “...Urkh.”
Haruhiro peeked at Yume’s face. “Y-You gonna be okay there, Yume?”
“Yeah. Somehow, it looks like Yume’ll be fine. She will be, but it still hurt a bit.”
“It’s not good to talk with your mouth full. You should try to stay calm while you eat.”
“Never been sure why, but Yume always gets confused and rushed when eating, y’know?” Yume said.
“I see...”
“Master was always sayin’ the same thing,” she continued. “‘Yume, you really should eat slower.’ No, he wouldn’ta said it like ‘You really should,’ Master mighta said it like ‘Eat slower’ instead.”
“Listen,” Ranta gave her a doubtful sideways glance. “Can you even use that bow and arrow? I wouldn’t know, but aren’t you sort of a really poor fit for the whole being-a-hunter thing?”
“About archery, yeah...” Yume tilted her head, one cheek rising in a grin. “Master said Yume may be hopeless at it. Yume was pretty awful, no matter how much practicin’ she did.”
“If a hunter can’t use a bow and arrow, isn’t that kind of a non-starter? Like, they don’t fit the image...”
“Yume wants a wolf dog, though, so hunter it is.”
“A wolf dog, huh,” Haruhiro said, scratching at his neck. Experienced hunters could tame a wolf dog and communicate with it, apparently. Not just any dog, a wolf dog. Important difference. Haruhiro did see the appeal, so he could understand how Yume felt.
“A thief and a useless hunter, is it?” Ranta spat the words out in contempt. “You guys are killing me, honestly.”
“...You’re the last guy I want to hear that out of, Curly,” Haruhiro said.
“Don’t call me Curly!”
“...Excuse me,” someone interjected.
“Eek...?!” Ranta jumped up with a start, turning around.
Behind Ranta, wearing a pointed, black hat and an outfit of the same color, stood a petite girl. The hat was wide-brimmed, and she was leaning on the staff she carried and looking down, so they couldn’t see her face. Still, Haruhiro could tell at once.
“Shihoru?”
The girl nodded silently. It really was Shihoru.
“Come on...” Ranta’s eyes were bulging as he tried to calm himself. “D-Don’t scare me like that. Calling out to me suddenly from behind. You’re supposed to be a mage, aren’t you? You seem more like a thief.”
“...I-I’m sorry. Y-You didn’t notice me... And I wasn’t sure how to get your attention, so...”
“You could have just called out, like a normal person. With a hey, or a yo, or a hi.”
“...I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being able to do things like a normal person...”
“Don’t apologize for every little thing! It makes me look like the bad guy!”
“You kinda are the bad guy,” Haruhiro interposed himself between Ranta and Shihoru. “If I had to choose a bad guy here, it’d be you. It’s nothing to get so bent out of shape over.”
“Don’t try to play the good guy, Haruhiro. Even if she’s got a nice, big pair of boobs she’s hiding, okay?”
“Huh? Hiding...?” Without thinking about it, Haruhiro glanced towards Shihoru’s chest area.
“...!”
Shihoru quickly covered her chest with her arm, so he couldn’t verify one way or the other, but— Wait, what the heck am I doing? It is not okay to look. Now my face is all hot. Haruhiro hung his head.
“...Sorry.”
“It’s fine...”
“You can try to hide it!” Ranta said, jabbing a finger in Shihoru’s direction. “But there’s no deceiving my eyes. I can see through most padding and push-up bras, too!”
Haruhiro looked at Ranta with disdain. “...What kind of skill is that?”
“It’s not a skill! It’s a natural gift!”
“Aww...” Yume said, poking at her own chest. “Shihoru’s got big ones, huh. Must be nice. Yume’s are tiny, y’know. If Yume were thin, it’d be okay, but she’s pretty pudgy and her boobs are tiny. Kinda depressing, don’tcha think?”
“...I’m not, uh....” Shihoru shrunk into herself as if she were trying to disappear. “...I’m just f-fat, that’s all it is.”
“Are you? You don’t look fat to Yume, y’know.”
“I-I just... look thinner in clothes...”
Ranta let out a nasal laugh. “Shihoru. You’re the type girls hate, I bet.”
“Huh...?”
“Calling yourself fat when you aren’t. That’s the fastest way to get other girls to hate you!”
“...I-I’m not doing that...” Shihoru’s shoulders started to tremble. “...I-I really am fat, okay?”
“Wuh...?” Ranta said, backing off a bit. “No, wait, i-it’s nothing to cry about, okay?”
“...I-I’m not crying.”
“Yes you are! There are clearly tears forming in your eyes! Come on!”
“Shihoru, Shihoru.” Yume said, holding her tight. “It’s all right, okay? Yume doesn’t hate you. Yume still doesn’t know you that well though, y’know.”
Haruhiro smiled wryly. “You’re not really reassuring her there, Yume.”
“Oh? Y’think? Well, Shihoru’s body feels great. She looks thin, but when you hold her, she’s just a bit squishy, y’know?”
“...D-Don’t touch me so much. I-It’s embarrassing...”
“G-Girls...!” Ranta was panting heavily. Way too heavily. “Damn, that’s a feast for the eyes! And in a public place, too! You sure that’s okay? Gimme more!”
“I see you’re all having a good time,” interjected another voice.
Haruhiro looked to where the voice came from. “Manato!”
Manato wore a hooded outfit with blue lines. In his hands he was holding a straight stick. It was a short staff.
“Am I the last one to arrive?” Manato smiled, looking to each of them. “I’m the priest, Haruhiro’s our thief, Yume’s our hunter, and Shihoru is our mage. We have Ranta-kun as a warrior, as well. All five of us are here, I see.”
“Listen, pal,” Ranta said with a frown. “Could you cut it out with the -kun and -san stuff? It takes too long to say every time. Besides, you’re already calling Haruhiro by just his name.”
“Okay, Ranta it is then.”
“Y’know, now that you’re dropping it, that pisses me off, too! Call me Ranta-sama!”
“Ha ha. I don’t want to do that.”
“Don’t laugh off my demands so easily!”
“You can call Yume just Yume, too,” said Yume.
“...Ah. Just Shihoru for me as well, if you don’t mind.”
“You sure? Okay, I�
��ll do that then. Yume. Shihoru.”
Yume said “Heeeere!” and raised her hand.
Shihoru gave a quiet response, too, but they couldn’t quite hear it. She seemed pretty embarrassed.
“Manato,” Haruhiro said, swinging his right hand.
Manato shifted his staff to his left hand and brought his right up as well. Their palms slapped together. It made a satisfying clap.
Haruhiro punched Manato in the shoulder. “Good job, Manato. Priests go through— What was it? Basic training? I think?”
“Yeah. How did your training at the thieves’ guild go?”
“Huh? Oh, piece of cake,” he tried to put up a strong front, but his face twitched as he did, so he quickly backpedaled. “...That was a lie. It was pretty harsh. My teacher was nuts. I mean, she’s beautiful, but super scary.”
“She was beautiful, huh? I’m jealous. My master was a rugged man. He was harsh, and loud. My ears always hurt.”
“Your ears hurt? Manato, just how much did you get yelled at?”
“I don’t even remember. I was getting yelled at so often that I started to think that maybe I was born just to be yelled at.”
Haruhiro had gotten scolded pretty often by Barbara-sensei, and it had left him feeling down. Not because it had destroyed his self-confidence, though. He had never had the chance to build any of that. Had Manato gone through the same thing? Maybe it was the same for anyone when they first entered a guild. If so, Haruhiro didn’t need to let it get to him. Maybe he didn’t need to be so pessimistic about things.
I feel a bit better now. It’s thanks to Manato. Manato got us the information on the guilds, and he consulted with us all on which each of us should join. Where would we be without Manato? I don’t even want to think about it.
“Guess it’s time to come clean, huh?” Ranta said with a sigh. “The thing is, I’ve got something I need to tell you all. It’s a big announcement.”
“Huh...?” Haruhiro raised his eyebrows. “What?”
Yume said “What could it be?” blinking repeatedly, and Shihoru looked at Ranta hesitantly.
Manato was eyeing Ranta’s body... or rather, checking out his equipment. Was there something strange about it? Ranta had an old longsword on his hip, and he was clad in hard leather armor. Well, it was kind of a warrior-y look.