by M. G. Morgan
The more I thought about everything we’d gone through the more ridiculous the argument with David seemed.
I wasn’t going to allow him to take his frustrations out on me but I also couldn’t see the point in fighting anymore.
We’d won.
We’d faced all of the naysayers, everyone who’d honestly believed that we wouldn’t last more than two seconds together, and we’d won. That was worth celebrating.
And after everything, why would we allow some petty attempt at putting the Ashcroft name down to get under our skin?
Tiptoeing from the room, I cast a backwards glance over my shoulder at Jenson, but for the entire time I’d been in the room he hadn’t moved and part of me wished that I too could be that oblivious.
Chapter 5
The house was silent as I made my way back down the stairs. The light from David’s office was visible underneath the door and I contemplated simply going to bed.
But the argument would only follow us and the thought of waking up tomorrow with it all still hanging over me wasn’t a pleasant one. The only thing I could do was bite the bullet and face the lion in his den.
Confrontation was not my forte and I knew what awaited me as I pushed open the door to the office and peered inside.
David sat behind his desk, his expression dark and I could taste the tension on the back of my tongue as I walked into the room.
“So you decided to stop running away?” His voice was filled with derision and I felt the sting of his words against my skin.
Why was it always the same? I loved him madly, and I knew he loved me, but the minute something from the outside intruded on our little happy bubble it ended in an argument between us.
“I don’t consider checking on our son running away,” I said, crossing the room to stand in the centre.
“I didn’t expect them to do that. I didn’t expect them to dishonour him the way they did. And I know I shouldn’t care—the things he did, he almost took you from me—but God help me, Carrie, I do care. Despite everything he was still my father and I’m the only one allowed to crucify him.”
He looked up at me, the expression in his eyes one of the bleakest I’d ever laid eyes on and it hurt my heart.
I was supposed to be angry at him, I was supposed to tell him he couldn’t keep treating me as an outsider. But one look from him when he was this vulnerable was enough to send all of my thoughts scattering to the winds.
“David, I don’t want to fight, I love you,” I said, my voice low and steady as I walked towards him.
He watched me as a lion might watch its prey, calculating my every movement that took me closer to him. And I wanted to be closer to him.
We’d fought but that didn’t change my feelings for him and my body was still only too aware of what he’d done to me earlier in the night.
I moved around the desk and David’s hands caught my hips drawing me in towards him. He wrapped his arms around my body, resting his head against my softly rounded tummy.
“I’m so sorry, Carrie, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I try to tell myself to stop, I know what I’m doing in my head and for some reason I just can’t stop the words from leaving my mouth.”
I held him close and listened to him. It was all I could really do. I didn’t know what it was like to have family who could betray you as badly as David’s father had. And no matter how hard I tried, I would never be more than outsider to the pain and subsequent guilt he suffered over his confused feelings for the man who should have been there for him no matter what.
“I’m so afraid I’m going to turn out just like him. What if I let you and Jenson down? What if I screw up the way Henry did?”
The thought of David being anything like his father was utterly laughable. Henry had been cruel and twisted, all of the things David was not.
“You’re nothing like him,” I said, cupping his face in my hands and tilting his head back so I could look into his eyes.
“I want to believe you, but I’m not so sure anymore. If I’m nothing like him then why do I keep hurting you?”
“David, that’s not true…” I started to speak but he stood up suddenly and slid his hands into my hair, his grip tightening slowly but surely.
The movement stole my breath and I felt my heart beat quicken in my chest.
“Why do you stay with me, Carrie? Am I worth saving, am I a good person?” His voice was low and husky, the grip he had on my hair was punishing but I could feel my knees growing weak.
If David thought he was twisted, then so was I for wanting him as much as I did. I knew what he was trying to do, he was trying to push me past my comfort zone, to get me to tell him he was as bad as his father but it just wasn’t true.
“I love you, David. You’re a good man.”
He shook his head and tightened his grip until my lips parted and a small whimper escaped them.
David dipped his head, his teeth grazing against the sensitive skin of my neck and I cried out as he bit down on me.
He parted my legs, pressing his body up close to mine until I could feel his erection through the layers of our clothes.
“Am I still a good man, Carrie? Why let me do this to you? How far are we going to take this before you hate me?”
His words hit home and I froze.
Is that what he really thought? Did he look at me as some sort of victim? Someone to be pitied?
It left a bitter taste on my tongue, and without thinking I lashed out at him. My hand connected with the side of his face, the crack of skin on skin contact reverberating through the silence of the room. He released me and took a shaky step backwards.
“How dare you!” I said, my voice wobbling with emotion.
He reached out to me, his expression pained but I shrugged him off. He’d taken it too far and his attempt at manipulation wasn’t lost on me.
“How dare you think that I simply go along with the things you do to me. How dare you try and make me feel like a victim for something I want.” My voice shook but I didn’t care.
With everything we’d been through I’d never been as angry as I was in that moment.
“That’s not what I meant, but what am I supposed to think? You’ve never once protested…”
“Has it ever occurred to you that what we share I want just as much as you do? That I love the way you make my body sing…”
And I did. I couldn’t explain it, and if I were asked to put it into words then I knew I would fail. When David took control of my body, the way he made me feel…
Most people looked at restraints and pleasure mixed with pain as a form of abuse. But when David touched me, from the first moment he’d laid his hands on my body I’d never felt more free.
Tears stung at the back of my eyes and I swiped them away with my hands in an attempt to keep my vision clear. I didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to show him any sign of weakness and yet I couldn’t help it.
“Carrie, I love the way you respond to me, I love making you cry out. God knows that you drive me crazy but I’ve never known how far to take it with you. It wasn’t something we discussed. When we met, I demanded it from you. I never asked you where your boundaries were. I assumed I knew. I was arrogant.
“And I was just like my father, I hate that part of myself. Every time I took it a little further you never tried to stop me… I’m afraid of how far it’ll go, how far I want it to go…”
His words surprised me. When I’d walked into the room I hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn. David had never expressed concern over the direction our physical relationship took.
“I’m supposed to look after you, protect you, give you everything your heart desires and I’m afraid that one of these days I’ll fail because of my own selfish wants.”
His admission rendered me speechless and all I could do was stare at him.
I’d never thought of it like that. I’d never considered the responsibility he felt for my safety, for my happiness. I crave
d his touched, craved the way he made me feel but I’d never looked any deeper than that.
“David, you won’t fail, you can’t.”
He shook his head and moved away from me with a shake of his head.
“And that’s where you’re wrong. I’m hardwired to fail, Carrie, and if you can’t see that…”
He strode for the door and disappeared out into the hall. I started after him but the sound of the front door slamming made me jump.
He was gone.
The thought was enough to start my tears trickling down my cheeks. I felt numb and more than a little confused.
Where had all of his fears come from? We’d never argued like this before and I couldn’t figure out what had really triggered it all because none of it made sense.
Standing in the centre of the empty room, I stared around at my surroundings and felt utterly alone. It was the first time I’d felt this way since I’d married David, and I hated it.
Life wasn’t meant to be like this. We were a team, or at least I’d thought we were, but after everything that had happened and him storming out, I was beginning to have my doubts about what our relationship was truly built on.
Chapter 6
Lying in the bed I tossed and turned with the covers over me. I was too warm, but the minute I kicked them aside I was too cold.
Of course that wasn’t really what was bothering me, but I refused to get up.
Instead I lay in the dark and waited for the sound of David’s return.
Time crawled by and when the first tendrils of light crept through the gap in the curtains I finally gave up the pretence of getting any sleep.
How had it all gone so wrong? The night had started out very differently and even now, in the cold light of day, I was struggling to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.
Something had obviously happened when he disappeared into the back room with Anthony. But his refusal to talk about it made it impossible to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.
Wrapping a dressing gown around myself I made my way down to Jenson’s room. He lay on his back, his small feet kicking in the air as he cooed and gurgled happily.
Reaching down I scooped him up into my arms and pressed my lips against his forehead. The familiar warm smell of his fluffy hair made me smile and I cuddled him into my body.
I carried him down the stairs and paused outside the door to David’s office before pushing the door open.
Empty.
My heart dropped into my stomach as the realisation hit me. He’d stayed away all night.
It had never happened before.
We’d argued and he’d stormed off, but he’d never been able to stay away. Until now.
I wanted to feel angry but a night with no sleep had left me too tired to muster the emotion.
Jenson kicked and fussed in my arms, reminding me that his good-natured gurgling would quickly change to something more demanding if I didn’t get his bottle.
* * *
It didn’t take long to get the prepared bottle from the fridge and heat it up. As soon as Jenson was settled in my arms happily slurping away I grabbed my cell phone and dialled David’s number.
I listened to it ring and then ring out without an answer, and my stomach started to knot uncomfortably.
He wouldn’t deliberately ignore a call from me in case there was something wrong with Jenson, of that I was certain.
I fumbled awkwardly with the phone as I brought up Heather’s cell number and called him. If David wasn’t here, then there was only one other place I knew he would go to.
“Hey, Carrie, what’s up?” Heather answered on the second ring, her perky tone reminding me of how tired I actually was.
“Is David with you?”
“No, I don’t think he’s supposed to call around until tomorrow…” She trailed off and I could hear the unasked question in her voice.
“So he didn’t stay at yours last night?”
“No, Carrie, what’s wrong? I thought you were both going to that business event last night?”
“We did and at the end of the night we had a huge fight and he stormed out…”
“He didn’t come back?” I knew from the disbelief in Heather’s voice that she found it as hard to believe as I did.
This was out of character and I couldn’t help but feel a tendril of panic snake its way up my spine.
“No, I haven’t seen him since he left. I called his cell but he’s not answering.”
“I’ll get Aaron on to him, he’s probably just holed up somewhere licking his wounds. He’ll be fine.”
She sounded so sure and I wanted to believe her but I couldn’t shake the fear that was gradually beginning to take ahold of me. David wasn’t the type to just up and leave.
He always came back, never staying away for more than a few hours at a time.
“Ok, well let me know what Aaron says.” I forced myself to sound happier than I actually felt; it was the only thing I could do, the only way I could try and control the panic that threatened to overwhelm me.
David was fine and Heather was probably right, no matter how out of character it all seemed.
Ending the call, I lifted Jenson over my shoulder and rubbed his tiny back. He fussed and gurgled as I trailed soothing circles, my mind doing the same, but it was far from soothing.
Scooping the phone up once more I called David’s cell and listened to the familiar sound of it ringing until it went dead.
He could be angry at me, I didn’t care anymore as long as I knew he was safe—and that was the one thing I didn’t know anymore.
Chapter 7
Folding my arms across my chest I watched Jenson play with his toys. Hours had passed and there was still nothing from David and the only thing keeping me sane was Jenson.
Watching him was the only thing I could do to stop myself from completely breaking down.
The sound of people at the door had me jumping from the couch and racing out into the hall. Aaron stood inside the front door, a grim look on his face as he directed someone into the house.
I felt the colour drain my face as I watched some of Aaron’s guards half carry, half drag David into the hall.
“Can we take him straight upstairs, he needs a doctor to look him over but he insists it’s mostly just superficial.” I heard Aaron speaking, but my brain refused to make sense of his words.
I raced forward, reaching out to David but I didn’t touch him. His face was badly bruised, one of his eyes completely swollen shut. His lips were cut and bloodied and as I let my gaze wander down the front of him my eyes widened as I took note of the blood dried into his shirt.
“What the hell happened to him?” I said, the fear in my voice unmistakable.
“Your guess now is as good as mine. I checked out a few of his old haunts and I found him like this down at the marina. His car doesn’t have a scratch on it so my best guess would be that someone beat the crap out of him,” Aaron said, directing the guards to carry him up the stairs.
They hoisted him higher in their arms and David cried out, his eyes flickering and rolling back into his head.
“Why didn’t you bring him straight to the hospital?” I turned on Aaron, the pain I’d heard in David’s voice bringing my anger bubbling to the surface.
“He didn’t want to go,” Aaron said, his expression turning sheepish.
“Well he’s going to the hospital and that’s that!” I said, moving towards the phone.
“I just need to sleep in my own bed, I don’t need a hospital, Carrie.” David’s voice cut through my anger like a hot knife through butter.
Turning back to face him, I watched as he struggled to stand on his own, but he simply wasn’t fit to. The pain in his eyes was burned into my mind.
“David, you need a hospital, you need more than what we can get you here at the house, you need x-rays and…” I trailed off as his eyes rolled back in his head once more and he slumped in the guard’s grip.
“I’m calling an ambulance,” I said, not hesitating for a moment as I raced for the phone.
I wasn’t about to let David’s stubborn stupidity kill him. I didn’t care how angry he was going to be, the only thing I cared about was that he was safe and well.
Chapter 8
Sitting in the hospital waiting room, my stomach churned uncomfortably. I hadn’t eaten and my head was beginning to pound as I waited for results on David.
I wanted to blame Aaron for not immediately taking him to a hospital but I knew how stubborn David could be.
“I thought you could do with something hot,” Aaron said, crossing the corridor and holding a steaming Styrofoam cup out towards me.
“Thanks,” I said, taking it and holding it gratefully between my freezing hands in an attempt to warm them back up.
“How did you find him? The marina is a pretty big place,” I asked, turning to face Aaron.
He dropped his gaze to the floor and stared at his shoes. “I had them switch the tracker on his car on. His cell-phone tracker didn’t pan out so the car was the only other option I had.”
“Don’t you need a court order or something to do that?” I said, my voice betraying my surprise.
Aaron shrugged and shot me a sideways grin. “It’s amazing what you can do when you have enough money to throw at it.”
I nodded and returned my attention to the cup in my hands.
“You know if I thought he was really badly hurt I’d have taken him to hospital, no matter what he had to say, don’t you?”
“Aaron, it’s fine, I know you were only doing what he wanted you to do. I don’t blame you at all, I know what David is like.”
“He’s beyond stubborn,” he said, saying aloud what I had been thinking in my head all along.
“You both are, you’re just as bad as he is,” I said, with a smile.
“Mrs. Ashcroft, if you’d like to come in now.” A nurse appeared at the end of the corridor and I hopped up, narrowly avoiding spilling coffee down my front in my haste to follow her.