by E. L. Todd
“You have an odd definition of hot.”
“I found it when I looked up your name in the dictionary.” I rubbed my nose against hers then separated her legs. When I reached for the lamp, she stopped me.
“I mean it.”
I decided not to argue with her. If she was that uncomfortable, I wouldn’t force her. I found the entrance between her legs and moved inside. She molded perfectly to my cock. This was home to me. Making love to my wife gave me the greatest sense of happiness. When she insisted she was fat and unattractive, I couldn’t fathom the possibility. She was so perfect and gorgeous. Why didn’t she see that?”
When we were finished, I snuggled beside her and pulled her to my chest. Our bodies were intertwined together, becoming a single entity. I never snuggled this much with my other partners, but I liked snuggling with her.
3
Cortland
We loved the house I bought. It was just ten minutes from Scarlet and Sean, but it wasn’t as big as their mansion. It was a quaint three-bedroom house with an expansive yard. We owned an acre of land so it was peaceful. Monnique immediately began to pamper the soil in preparation for spring.
Monnique liked her job at the hospital. Luckily, we both had the same shifts, so I would drop her off in the morning then pick her up after work. She insisted on taking a cab and that made me want to have a heart attack.
I admired Monnique for being so independent and strong. Women like that were hard to find. Even though her family didn’t have a lot of money, she put herself through college and made it on her own. I knew it gave her a sense of pride and accomplishment. And I would never take that away from her.
But she could be so stubborn.
I offered to buy her a car but she rejected me—harshly. When I asked if she would buy one herself, she said she hadn’t made up her mind on what kind of car she wanted. I was so desperate for her to have her own vehicle, I considered giving her mine and just taking the train.
But I didn’t need to ask her to know her answer.
I tried to forget about it and push it to the back of my mind. I still thought about her mysterious break-up with her ex, but I never asked her about it. I told her I wouldn’t and I kept my word. But damn, the mystery was killing me.
And I still had to tell her about Scarlet. Ugh…I was dreading that.
Truthfully, I had no idea how she would react. I thought Ryan would be mad at Janice and break up with her, but instead, he was angry with Scarlet. It was a twist I didn’t see coming.
Monnique was more emotional and headstrong. I knew she would be upset, but I didn’t know how much. Would she leave me? Would she stop being friends with Scarlet? Would she forgive me? Would she even care? It happened before I even knew Monnique. Why should it matter?
But I felt guilty. I had to tell her, especially before I proposed. I would be a total jackass if I didn’t.
I met Ryan for lunch. We went to a pizzeria close to both of our offices. I only got a thirty minute lunch, even though it wouldn’t matter if I was late. That was one of the perks of being close with the owner of the company. But Ryan could do whatever he wanted.
“How’s the shop?” I asked.
“So busy.” He drank half his soda then shoved the slice into his mouth.
‘Then why are you here? Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Fuck no. I need to eat. If not, I’ll get lightheaded and accidently stab my needle in someone’s eye.”
I cringed. “Good point. Have you considered hiring someone?”
“I’m accepting applications now.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s impressive.”
“I’m making way more here than I did in Seattle. It’s pretty crazy.”
“That’s awesome, man.”
“And when I tell girls I’m from Seattle they automatically ask if I’ve been to a city called Forks.”
“Forks?”
He shrugged. “It’s a famous city from a book or something.”
I finished my plate then wiped the grease from my fingers. Two pretty girls walked inside, wearing sky-high heels and skinny jeans. They were clearly models. Ryan looked over his shoulder and I look too.
“Nice,” he said.
“Yeah.”
He turned back to me and finished off his soda.
I wasn’t immune to the charms of other women, but I didn’t think anyone could compete with Monnique. She was beautiful in an exotic way. Scarlet was the last white girl I’d ever be with. And Elizabeth was the plainest girl in the world. When I looked back at the girls, they were eyeing me and Ryan.
“I think they are going to come over here,” I said sadly.
“Damn. It sucks being so sexy.”
“I know the feeling,” I said with a sigh.
“So, when do you want to pop the question?” he asked. “I’m thinking next weekend.”
“That’s pretty soon.”
“You having doubts?” Ryan asked.
“No,” I said immediately. “That’s just soon…”
He shook his head. “You haven’t told her yet. And now you’re on a time table.”
I didn’t justify that with a response.
“Just get it over with, Cortland.”
“Easy for you to say,” I said bitterly.
“What’s the big deal?” he said. “She’ll get over it. She may be mad for a while but it’s no reason to break up.”
“Monnique is different than Janice and Scarlet.”
Ryan eyed me, studying my face. “She’s not that different. And she and Scarlet are close. Monnique wouldn’t ruin a friendship over something so stupid.” He glanced at the girls that checked us out a moment go then turned back to me. “Is there something else you’re worried about?”
Unfortunately, yes. “I pestered Monnique to tell me about her ex when she wanted me to respect her privacy. I feel hypocritical asking for information about her ex without being truthful about mine.”
“Scarlet isn’t your ex.”
I shrugged. “Monnique won’t see it that way.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Ryan said. “But you don’t have a choice, right? It’ll be far worse if she finds out in another way. Believe me.”
I rested my elbows on the table and thought about his words. He was right. I had to tell her the truth and get it over with. I just hoped she loved me enough to stick around.
The two girls appeared at our table, their hair perfectly styled and lustrous. Their slim figures and busty chests were noticeable to any straight man. The brunette eyed us and smiled. “I’m Lisa, and this is Jenny.”
I looked at Ryan, silently asking him how he wanted to handle this. If Ryan were single, I knew he would fuck one, then fuck the other the next night. But those days were behind him. As were mine.
Ryan leaned back in his chair. “We’re gay.”
I tried not to laugh.
The disappointment covered their faces.
“Damn,” Lisa said. “Why are the hot ones always gay?”
Jenny sighed. “I know, right?”
They walked away and left us alone.
“Couldn’t we just say we aren’t interested?” I asked. “Why do we have to be gay?”
“What?” Ryan said. “I’m not good enough to be your boyfriend?”
I laughed. “You definitely aren’t my type.”
“Sure…”
“This just got weird.”
After I picked up Monnique from work, we came home and she made vegetable lasagna. The best thing about having a woman in the house was the sweet smell of dinner every night. And she was a phenomenal cook.
“How was your day?” she asked.
Her dark hair was pulled into a loose bun on her head. I liked it when she wore her hair that way because she exposed her neck. It was slender and soft. It made the curve of her face more prominent. She was very petite, but very feminine in all the right places. “It was good.”
“And how was work?”
> “Pretty uneventful.”
“Are you liking it?” she asked.
“Definitely. But work is still work.”
“How are Ryan and Sean?”
“Good,” I answered. “They made up.”
“That’s good.” She finished half her lasagna then pushed the plate away. She could never eat much.
“How was work?”
She smiled. “I had a patient insist on a sponge bath. And he was only there for three hours.”
I smiled. “I’d do the same.”
She rolled her eyes. “Men.”
You could stay home. Ugh. “You can give me a sponge bath after dinner,” I teased.
“Or I can just give you head.”
My eyes widened. “That’s cool too.”
She chuckled then carried the plates to the sink. I stayed at the table, knowing what was coming next. I really didn’t want to do this. But I couldn’t put it off anymore.
Monnique finished the dishes then moved to the couch. “Baby, why are you way over there?”
I left my chair then moved to the couch beside her. As soon as I sat down, she got a look at my face.
“What’s wrong?” she blurted.
Stay strong. “I have to tell you something.” I couldn’t look at her.
Monnique stared at me with wide eyes. I noticed her breathing picked up. The anxiety escaped her voice. “Okay…”
I kept my hands in my lap. “I should have told you this beforehand, but I didn’t see why it mattered. But now I realize keeping it from you was a mistake. And now I’m ready to come clean.”
“Cortland, you’re scaring me.”
“I don’t mean to…”
“What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “Long before we met, Scarlet and I…we slept together.”
Monnique didn’t react. She stared at me like she hadn’t heard me.
“She was depressed over Sean, and I was upset over Elizabeth. We hooked up but nothing ever came of it. Nothing else happened. We never had a relationship or considered it. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t see why it mattered. But I felt like I should…”
Monnique was silent.
I gave her a moment to process what I said.
“How many times?”
“Twice.” It seemed to be going well. She wasn’t yelling or storming out. She rose from her chair then paced the room.
“Let me get this straight…”
Shit.
“You hide this from me, that you slept with your best friend, who you see every damn day, but you have the audacity to interrogate me like a fucking terrorist. So much for telling me everything.” The venom was heavy in her voice.
“Baby…”
“Don’t baby me,” she snapped. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. This entire time I’ve been friends with a woman who fucked your brains out.” She shook her head.
“Nothing else happened between us. If we wanted to be together, we would have. It was purely physical, Monnique. You don’t need to worry about anything.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at me. Her eyes were dancing in poisonous flames. “Cortland, we’ve been together for a year and I know you pretty damn well. Don’t insult me like that again.”
What did she mean?
“You never sleep around. Scarlet meant something to you, didn’t she?”
Fuck.
“Didn’t she?”
She moved around the couch until she was standing directly in front of me. She didn’t flinch while she held my gaze. “You were in love with her.”
I didn’t know what to do. Should I lie? I couldn’t do that to her. “Key word: was. All that changed the moment I set eyes on you. I knew you were the woman I wanted.”
“Don’t stroke my ego, Cortland.”
“I mean it!”
“The only reason you ended up with me was because you couldn’t get the person you really wanted.” The moisture built up in her eyes. “She was in love with Sean so you gave up.”
I hated seeing the pain on her face. “I did have feelings for Scarlet. I admit it. But when I saw how much she loved Sean, those feelings went away. I knew she and I would never work because Sean was the man she was meant to be. And I knew I was destined for someone else.”
Her face was unreadable. “I can’t believe I moved all the way here for you…”
My heart exploded. “What?”
“I’m done with you.”
I jumped from the couch. “Monnique, wait. Listen to me.”
The tears fell down her face. “This whole time I thought I was the love of your life, the only one you really wanted. You told me I made your heart beat like no one else ever did. And this entire time Scarlet has been there, the girl you really wanted. I’m just a rebound, a poor excuse to distract you from Scarlet.”
“God, you have that totally wrong.”
She turned away from me.
I grabbed her arm. “Monnique, I swear on anything and everything that means anything to me. You are the love of my life. I want you, only you, every day for the rest of my life. I don’t see Scarlet in any other way than a friend.”
She wouldn’t look at me. The tears fell.
“I’m thankful Scarlet and I didn’t work out. Monnique, you are more than what I dreamed of. As soon as we met, my heart was yours. You snatched it and put it in your pocket. After our second date, I told Scarlet I already fell in love with you. Ask her. She’ll tell you. No one questions my love for you. It’s just you. No one else.”
She yanked her arm away. “I don’t even know you anymore…you wouldn’t let my ex go, but you kept this back the entire time. You should have told me the truth from the beginning. This was a mistake.” She sniffed then wiped her eyes.
“Please don’t say that to me…” I felt my eyes bubble with tears. I hated seeing her in pain, and I hated the words she was stabbing me with.
“You want to know why Zander and I broke up?” She gave me a fierce look, the anger underneath the pain. “I’ll tell you. He was abusive. Anytime I didn’t do what he wanted, he beat the shit out of me.”
God, I wasn’t expecting that. She ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. Pain like I never felt exploded inside me. Anyone who hurt her deserved to die. And I would kill them myself.
“He was controlling and crazy. I couldn’t get out because I was scared he would kill me. I finally turned to the police and told my family what was really going on. I explained the bruises, the cuts, and the nights when I disappeared. They pulled me out of that relationship and got me back on my feet.”
Now I understood why she was so independent, why she refused to let me boss her around. It all made sense. Now I felt like a jackass.
“There. Are you happy?” she yelled. “Are you glad you know the truth?” She sobbed. “Come on. That’s what you wanted to know and I told you. Why don’t you seem happy?”
My tears flooded my face. “Monnique…”
“Fuck you, Cortland.”
“I was just scared you would leave me high and dry like you did to him…”
“So you had no faith in my love for you?”
“No, I—”
“I shouldn’t have had faith in you,” she snapped. “You lied to me and you used me. You made me think that I finally found the sweetest and greatest man in the world. Every day, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have found you. You were my prince, my knight and shinning armor, but in reality I just got someone’s leftovers. And you see her every damn day. How sick is that?”
I tried not to sob, but the tears fell anyway. “It’s not like that.”
“Yes, it is,” she said sadly. She moved to the doorway and grabbed her purse.
“What are you doing?” I came to her than grabbed her arm.
“Getting the hell away from you.”
“No,” I begged. “Please don’t go anywhere.”
“I can’t look at you right now.” She averted her ga
ze.
“I don’t want you storming off, not when you’re upset like this. I’ll go.”
She stilled at my words.
“Please don’t leave.” I looked into her face. “Please don’t leave me. Just take a few days to think this over. We’ll talk again when you’re feeling better. You can have my car and take it to work. But please don’t leave.”
“Cortland, we’re done.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I love you like fucking crazy. Think about our past year together and you’ll realize I love you in a way I could never love anyone else. I’ve never lived with a girl before. I’ve never been obsessed with a girl before. Just think about it. You’ll realize I look at you in a very special way, that my love for you is real and true. I’ve never felt that way about Scarlet.”
She didn’t speak.
“Monnique, please.”
She stepped away. “Fine. I can’t just quit my job right now anyway. I’ll have to put my two weeks in and hope the Seattle hospital will take me back.”
Those words killed me. “Promise me.”
“I don’t owe you anything. Now get out.” She marched down the hallway and slammed her bedroom door, leaving me cold and lifeless.
After I grabbed my stuff from the pile Monnique made outside our door, I stood outside, listening to the sounds of the night. My suitcases stood at my feet and I never felt more alone. After I stopped crying, I called Sean.
He didn’t answer. He and Scarlet probably wanted their alone time. I called Scarlet instead, knowing she would answer.
“Cortland, we’re busy.”
I took a deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Her voice completely changed. “Are you okay?”
I stilled the tears. “Can Sean pick me up?”
“Of course. At your house?”
“Yeah. I’ll be standing outside.” I hung up so she wouldn’t interrogate me. I would breakdown right in my driveway.
Ten minutes later, Sean’s Ferrari pulled in the driveway. I didn’t meet his gaze and carried everything to the trunk. He helped me stuff everything inside, not questioning me. He wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. I felt bad for interrupting the newlyweds but I didn’t know what else to do. I would go to Ryan’s but his apartment was already cramped with just him and Janice.