by Joel Osteen
Here’s how it works practically. It is unrealistic to pretend that nothing bad ever happens to us and our family. Bad things happen to good people. Pretense is not the answer; nor is playing semantic games to make yourself sound more spiritual. If you are sick, admit it; but keep your thoughts on your Healer. If your body is tired, if your spirit is weary, fine: but focus your thoughts on the One who has promised, “Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:31 NKJV).
Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NKJV). He wasn’t saying that troublesome times wouldn’t come; He was saying that when they do, we can choose our attitudes.
We must take responsibility for our minds and our actions. As long as we keep making excuses and blaming the family tree, our environment, past relationships with other people, our circumstances, and attributing blame to God, Satan, anyone, or anything, we will never be truly free and emotionally healthy. To a large extent, we can control our own destinies.
It’s not your circumstances that have you down; your thoughts about your circumstances have you down. It is possible to be in one of the biggest battles for your life and still be filled with joy and peace and victory—if you simply learn how to choose the right thoughts. We can choose to believe that God is greater than our problems.
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
PHILIPPIANS 4:6–7
MOTHER—THAT WAS THE BANK WHERE WE DEPOSITED ALL OUR HURTS AND WORRIES.
—T. DEWITT TALMAGE
I REMEMBER MY MOTHER’S PRAYERS, AND THEY HAVE ALWAYS FOLLOWED ME. THEY HAVE CLUNG TO ME ALL MY LIFE.
—ABRAHAM LINCOLN
THE Power OF YOUR Words
OUR WORDS HAVE TREMENDOUS POWER and are similar to seeds. By speaking them aloud, they are planted in our subconscious minds, take root, grow, and produce fruit of the same kind. Whether we speak positive or negative words, we will reap exactly what we sow. That’s why we need to be extremely careful about what we think and say.
The Bible compares the tongue to the rudder of a huge ship (James 3:4). Although the rudder is small, it controls the ship’s direction. Similarly, your tongue will control the direction of your life. You create an environment for either good or evil with your words, and you are going to have to live in that world you’ve created. If you’re always murmuring, complaining, and talking about how bad life is in your home, you’re going to live in a pretty miserable world.
However, God wants us to use our words to change our negative situations. Mom, there is a miracle in your mouth. If you want to change your world, start by changing your words.
I love what David did when he faced the giant Goliath. He didn’t complain and say, “God, why do I always have huge problems?” He didn’t dwell on the fact that Goliath was a skilled warrior and he was just a shepherd boy. Rather than focus on the magnitude of the obstacle before him, David looked Goliath right in the eyes and changed his whole atmosphere through the words he spoke aloud. He said, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty” (1 Samuel 17:45).
Now, those are words of faith! He didn’t merely think them; he didn’t simply pray them. He spoke directly to the mountain of a man in front of him, and said, “Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air” (v. 46). And with God’s help, he did!
The Bible clearly tells us to speak to our mountains. Maybe your mountain is a sickness or a troubled relationship with your husband or a lack of communication with a wayward child. Whatever your mountain is, you must speak to that obstacle. Start calling yourself healed, happy, whole, blessed, and prosperous. Stop talking to God about how big your mountains are, and start talking to your mountains about how big your God is! God is a miracle-working God.
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
“Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Betaken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.”
MARK 11:23–24 NASB
DEATH AND LIFE ARE IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE, AND THOSE WHO LOVE IT WILL EAT ITS FRUIT.
—PROVERBS 18:21 NASB
ENCOURAGEMENT IS OXYGEN TO THE SOUL.
—GEORGE ADAMS
SPEAK Words of Faith
OUR WORDS ARE VITAL in bringing our dreams to pass. It’s not enough to simply see it by faith or in your imagination. You have to begin speaking words of faith over your life and your family. Your words have enormous creative power. The moment you speak something out, you give birth to it. This is a spiritual principle, and it works whether what you are saying is positive or negative.
In that regard, many times we are our own worst enemies. Statements such as, “Nothing good ever happens to me,” will literally prevent you from moving ahead in life. That’s why you must learn to guard your tongue and speak only faith-filled words over your life—words of victory, health, and success about your life. This is one of the most important principles you can ever grab hold of. Simply put, your words can make or break you.
And whether we realize it or not, our words affect our children’s future for either good or evil. We need to speak loving words of approval and acceptance, words that encourage, inspire, and motivate our family members to reach for new heights. When we do that, we speak blessings into their lives, words that carry spiritual authority much like the Old Testament patriarch’s blessing of his children (Genesis 27:1–41). We are speaking abundance and increase, declaring God’s favor in their lives.
But too often, we are harsh and fault-finding with our children. Our negative words will cause our children to lose the sense of value God has placed within them and can allow the enemy to bring all kinds of insecurity and inferiority into their lives.
What are you passing down to your children? It’s not enough to think it; you must vocalize it. A blessing is not a blessing until it is spoken. Your children need to hear you say words such as, “I love you. I believe in you. I think you’re great. There’s nobody else like you.” They need to hear your approval. They need to feel your love. They need your blessing.
Use your words to speak blessing over people. Bless your husband with your words. You can help set the direction for your children with your positive words. Speak words that encourage, inspire, and motivate. Start speaking those blessings today!
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
JAMES 3:10 NKJV
LET GO of the Past
IT’S TIME TO ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONAL WOUNDS TO HEAL. LET GO OF YOUR EXCUSES, AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. IT’S TIME TO GET RID OF YOUR VICTIM MENTALITY.
[S]HE WHO IS FILLED WITH LOVE IS FILLED WITH GOD HIMSELF.
—ST. AUGUSTINE
LETTING Go
DON’T BE A PRISONER OF THE PAST. Some people are always dwelling on their disappointments. They can’t understand why their prayers aren’t being answered, why their loved one wasn’t healed, why they were mistreated. Some people have lived so long in self-pity that it has become part of their identity. They don’t realize that God wants to restore what’s been stolen.
We’ve all had negative things happen to us. You may have gone through things that nobody deserves to experience in life—physical, verbal, sexual, or emot
ional abuse. Maybe you’ve struggled with a chronic illness or an irreparable physical problem. Maybe your dreams for your marriage or your child haven’t worked out. I don’t mean to minimize those difficult experiences, but if you want to live in victory, you can’t let your past poison your future.
It’s time to allow emotional wounds to heal, to let go of your excuses and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to get rid of your victim mentality. Nobody—not even God— ever promised that life would be fair. Quit comparing your life to someone else’s, and quit dwelling on what could or should have been. Quit asking questions such as, “Why this?” or “Why that?” or “Why me?” Let go of those hurts and pains. Forgive the people who did you wrong. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made.
If you’re not willing to let go of the old, don’t expect God to do the new. If you’ve had some unfair things happen to you, make a decision that you’re going to quit reliving those things in your memory. To constantly dwell on all the negatives and to focus on the mistakes you’ve made only perpetuates the problem. You will never be truly happy as long as you harbor bitterness in your heart. Instead, think on good things, things that will build you up and not tear you down, things that will encourage you and give you hope.
If you’re going to go forward in life, you must quit looking backward. You may even need to forgive God. Perhaps you’ve been blaming Him for taking one of your loved ones. If you don’t deal with it, you will wallow in self-pity. You must let go of those negative attitudes and the accompanying anger. Let it go. Today can be a new beginning.
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
MATTHEW 11:28
YOU’LL USE THE OLD RUBBLE OF PAST LIVES TO BUILD ANEW, REBUILD THE FOUNDATIONS FROM OUT OF YOUR PAST.
YOU’LL BE KNOWN AS THOSE WHO CAN FIX ANYTHING, RESTORE OLD RUINS, REBUILD AND RENOVATE, MAKE
THE COMMUNITY LIVABLE AGAIN.
—ISAIAH 58:12 THE MESSAGE
IF WE TAKE CARE OF THE MOMENTS,
THE YEARS WILL TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.
—MARIA EDGEWORTH
GET UP AND Get Movin’
A MAN IN JERUSALEM had been crippled for thirty-eight years. He spent every day lying by the pool of Bethesda, hoping for a miracle (John 5). This man had a deep-seated, lingering disorder similar to what many people have today. Their maladies may not be physical; they may be emotional, but they are deep-seated, lingering disorders nonetheless. They may stem from unforgiveness or holding on to past resentments, and they affect your personality, your relationships, and your self-image. Some people sit back for years, waiting for a miracle to happen that will make everything better.
When Jesus saw the man lying there, He asked a simple, straightforward question: “Do you want to be made well?” The man’s response was interesting. He began listing all of his excuses. “I’m all alone. I don’t have anyone to help me.” Is it any wonder that he had not been healed?
Jesus looked at him and said, in effect, “If you are serious about getting well, if you want to get out of this mess, get up off the ground, take up your bed, and be on your way.” When the man did what Jesus told him to do, he was miraculously healed!
If you’re serious about being well, you can’t lie around feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t waste another minute trying to figure out why certain evil things have happened to you or your loved ones. You may never know the answer. But don’t use that as an excuse to wallow in self-pity. Leave it alone, get up, and move on with your life. Trust God and accept the fact that there will be some unanswered questions. Just because you don’t know the answer doesn’t mean that one does not exist.
Each of us should have what I call an “I Don’t Understand It” file. When something comes up for which you have no reasonable answer, instead of dwelling on the “why,” simply place it in this file and don’t become bitter. Trust God, get up, walk out of any emotional bondage in which you have been living, and step into the great future He has for you. If you will stay in an attitude of faith and victory, God has promised that He will turn those emotional wounds around. He’ll use them to your advantage, and you will come out better than you would have had they not happened to you.
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
HEBREWS 12:1 NASB
LIFE IS SHORT AND WE NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR GLADDENING THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHO TRAVEL THE WAY WITH US. O, BE SWIFT TO LOVE! MAKE HASTE TO BE KIND.
—HENRI FREDERICK AMIEL
“FOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN WHEN THEY SIN AGAINST YOU, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR SINS, YOUR FATHER WILL NOT FORGIVE YOUR SINS.”
—MATTHEW 6:14–15
Forgive to BE FREE
MANY PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO IMPROVE their lives by dealing with the external aspects. They are attempting to rectify their bad habits, bad attitudes, bad tempers, or negative and sour personalities. Trying to change the fruit of their lives is noble, but unless they get to the root, they will never change the fruit—the problems will persist. You may be able to control your behavior or keep a good attitude for a while, but you can’t be free.
You have to go deeper. Many people attempt to bury the hurt and pain in their hearts or their subconscious minds. They don’t realize it, but much of their inner turmoil is because their own heart is poisoned. The Bible says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23 KJV). In other words, if we have bitterness on the inside, it will contaminate our personalities and our attitudes, as well as how we treat our children and husbands.
If you want to live your best life now, you must be quick to forgive. You need to forgive so you can be free, out of bondage, and happy. When we forgive, we’re not doing it just for the other person, we’re doing it for our own good.
When we hold on to unforgiveness and live with grudges, all we’re doing is building walls of separation. We think we’re protecting ourselves, but we’re not. We are simply shutting other people out of our lives. We become isolated, alone, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness, and it can happen right inside our family life.
Do you realize that those walls also prevent God’s blessings from pouring into your life? Those walls can stop the flow of God’s favor and keep your prayers from being answered. They’ll keep your dreams from coming to pass. You must tear down the walls. You must forgive the people who hurt you so you can get out of prison. You’ll never be free until you do. Let go of those wrongs they’ve done to you. Get that bitterness out of your life. That’s the only way you’re going to truly be free.
You may experience genuine physical and emotional healing as you search your heart and are willing to forgive. You may see God’s favor in a fresh, new way. You’ll be amazed at what can happen when you release all that poison.
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CONSIDER GOD’S WORD IN THE LIGHT OF MOTHERHOOD
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
HEBREWS 12:15
THE HEART OF A MOTHER IS A DEEP ABYSS AT THE BOTTOM OF WHICH YOU ALWAYS FIND FORGIVENESS.
—HONORÉ DE BALZAC
I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU—A WELL-WATERED GARDEN WHOSE FRAGRANCE CAUSES ALL AROUND TO BREATHE IN . . . DEEPLY.
—KIMBER ANNIE ENGSTROM
KEEP MOVING Forward
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT KEYS to moving forward into the great future God has for you is learning how to overcome the disappointments in your life. Because disappointments can pose such formidable obstacles to letting go of the past, you need to be sure you have dealt with
this area before taking the next step to living at your full potential.
Often, defeating disappointments and letting go of the past are the flip side of the same coin, especially when you are disappointed in yourself. When you do something wrong, don’t hold on to it and beat yourself up about it. Admit it, seek forgiveness, and move on. Be quick to let go of your mistakes and failures, hurts, pains, and sins.
Being lied to by a child, betrayed by a husband, walked out on by a loved one—certainly, these kinds of losses leave indelible scars, causing you to want to hold on to your grief. It would be logical for you to seek revenge. Many people would even encourage you to do so.
But that is not God’s plan for you. God has promised that if you will put your trust in Him to bring about the justice in your life, He will pay you back for all the unfair things that have happened to you (Isaiah 61:7–9). That means you don’t have to go around trying to pay everybody back for the wrong things they have done to you. God is your vindicator. Let Him fight your battles for you. Turn matters over to Him and let Him handle them His way.
When you suffer loss, nobody expects you to be an impenetrable rock. When we experience failure or loss, it’s natural to feel remorse or sorrow. That’s the way God made us. But you must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is, I am not going to let this get the best of me.”
Don’t live in regret or remorse or sorrow. They will only interfere with your faith. Faith must always be a presenttense reality, not a distant memory. God will turn those disappointments around. He will take your scars and turn them into stars for His glory.