by Toni Blake
Mick shook his head. “They’re not coming tonight. Walter called earlier. Between running the Dew Drop, pulling Christmas together, and finishing up wedding plans, Anita is strapped for time.”
Everyone nodded, and it went without saying that perhaps the woman was also under some additional stress, what with wondering if her wedding venue would actually be ready on schedule. No one knew much about Anita’s past, but it seemed like it had held some darkness, and no one begrudged her wanting to experience her dream wedding.
“Guess we’ll roll without ’em then,” Mike said.
A few minutes later the mayor stepped onto a temporary pedestal near the tree, microphone in hand. Music had been playing—Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You”—but it went silent and the mayor addressed the crowd, thanking everyone for coming.
As he went on, talking about the recent blizzard and how Destiny always pulled together in times of trouble, Candice’s eyes fell on Shane Dalton in the crowd. He stood with Grampy Hoskins and Edna across the way. No gloves.
Ugh, why did she have to find him attractive now? Why did she have to think he looked all cuddly and nice to curl up with next to a fireplace? She hadn’t felt that way when he’d pretty much barged into her house that first night.
Though she supposed, if she was honest with herself, that she’d felt something. She’d just been afraid of him then—in a different way than she was now. And that sort of fear, for her safety, had apparently overridden stark desire. Fear for her heart, it seemed, wasn’t doing nearly as good a job.
Just then, Tessa arrived back at her side. “For what it’s worth, I agree with Edna.”
Feeling caught at something, Candice flicked her gaze hurriedly to her older cousin. “What do you mean?” Even though she already knew good and well what Tessa meant.
It made her uneasy when Tessa hesitated—and when her reply came out sounding . . . deep. Serious. “When I met Lucky, I was nervous as hell. He scared me to death. I mean, he was in a motorcycle gang, for heaven’s sake. But . . . I was so drawn to him that I decided I didn’t want to let the opportunity pass me by. No matter what it brought. And I just went for it. It took a lot of courage for me to do that, believe me. But it’s the best move I ever made.”
Candice took that in. And she thought about just sticking to her story, denying her attraction, claiming she still thought Shane was some sort of dangerous convict type. Really, given how little anyone knew about him—clean license plate check or not—it was a reasonable, practical argument.
Yet Tessa was being so real with her right now, opening up to her—even though Candice didn’t often open up to anyone . . . but maybe she should. So she answered with honesty. “What if it’s not the best move I ever make? What if I’m right to be wary? What if he wants nothing to do with me? What if I get hurt?”
Tessa didn’t answer instantly—she thought it over. And then she said, “I think my point actually was . . . that it’s a risk. Always. And that you have to be okay with whatever happens. But . . . if you never go for it, if you never put yourself out there, if you never take a chance . . . you miss out on life. And I worry for you, Candice. I worry you’re missing out on life.” Then she stopped, looked down, shook her head. “I’m sorry—I know maybe it’s none of my business and I’m being pushy here. But I also know the dating pool is shallow around here and that it’s not easy to meet new people when you’ve lived in the same small town your whole life. And suddenly there’s somebody new in town. And I just thought I sensed some sparks between the two of you at Edna’s yesterday, and . . .”
“It’s all right,” Candice assured her. She appreciated her sweet cousin’s care and concern. “It’s just . . . well, among other issues, he’s not staying here. You know? So . . .”
Tessa nodded. “Yeah, I understand why that’s an issue—I really do. But even something temporary that’s really good can be well worth it. And life is short. That’s all I’m saying.”
“And to flip the switch,” Candice heard the mayor announce then, “here’s our own Grampy Hoskins.”
Standing in the crowd with everyone else, Grampy looked surprised by the honor as he drew back slightly. Then Edna said, “Go on, Willie,” giving him a good-natured nudge, and he ambled toward the platform. Apparently since Anita and Walter weren’t on hand, they’d decided on Grampy instead, and the old man looked pleased as punch about it.
“My oh my, what a sweet surprise,” he said into the microphone. “I was tellin’ young Shane here—” he motioned toward him “—how I see our town square tree like it’s my very own, so it’s mighty nice to turn the lights on for y’all. Destiny is a special place—nowhere else on this earth I’d rather live. And it’s partly about our rollin’ hills and our picket fences and our old-fashioned town square here, but mostly it’s about the people. And the spirit of community. I thank each and every one of ya for makin’ it that way. And even though we got our work cut out for us gettin’ these dang repairs done on the church in short order, I know we’ll give Walter and Anita the weddin’ they deserve—and I wish you all a real merry Christmas!”
Candice had no idea why her eyes flitted to Shane in that moment when every other was on the big tree in front of them. Well, every other but his—because he was looking right back at her.
Their gazes held as hundreds of twinkling colored lights illuminated the cold night air.
As a collective “Ahhh” echoed from the crowd, and then applause.
As people marveled at the beauty of the tree, and music started up again—the whole crowd breaking into “O Christmas Tree,” another town tradition.
Her heart beat too fast in her chest. And though it was impossible, she could have sworn she saw the blue in his eyes even from as far away as he stood.
But then she finally broke the gaze, unable to handle the strange intensity of it for even a second more, and started walking away.
“Where are you going?” Tessa stopped singing to call after her. Despite the pep talk, she was pretty sure her cousin had just missed the whole smoldering stare episode because she’d been watching the tree-lighting like everyone else.
“Bathroom at the café,” Candice said over her shoulder, then rushed away, across the square, across the snow, across the street to Dolly’s.
The sad truth was, she hadn’t dated anyone since Bobby. And five years had passed. Five. It was awful, she knew. And even a little embarrassing if she let herself think about it, let herself wonder if other people noticed.
But it had taken a while to get over the heartbreak. And after that . . . well, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to date. It was like Tessa had said—not much of a dating pool when you lived in a small town surrounded by farms and hillsides. And given that she worked at home and kept to herself a lot—at least until lately—where would she have met anyone?
So she’d grown content to live without romance. Content to just write her instruction manuals and exist on her own. Content to spend time with her mother, Alice, who had also lived without romance since Candice’s father had left them when she was young. Content to forge quiet friendships and live a quiet existence.
But did her body feel the same way? Content without romance or passion of any kind?
She’d done pretty well with that until now. She’d seemed to have a pretty low sex drive since that ill-fated love affair.
Except for maybe when she looked at Shane Dalton.
Shake that off already.
He’s only here for a couple of weeks, for God’s sake.
And he’s so not your type. If you even have a type. Bobby hadn’t been what she thought of as her type either, and that had been her first mistake—to go for the mysterious bad boy.
Dolly’s was fairly quiet other than a few folks coming in to warm up with coffee and grab a slice of pie now that the tree was lit. As she exited back out into the night through the café’s plate-glass door a few minutes later, cold bit at her nose and the sounds of laughter and m
ore caroling could be heard coming from the square. She pulled up the hood on her parka to ward off the bitter air.
You should go back. Find your friends. Have fun.
But she didn’t think she could do what Tessa had suggested—“go for” anything with Shane. There were too many reasons it was a bad idea. If she was meant to explore romance again, it wasn’t with him.
And that decision made it easier not to go back. To just text Tessa that she was leaving, in case anyone even noticed. And to find her car and go home to her cat. It wasn’t a return to being anti-social. She’d just volunteered to plan a big town party, after all. And it was cold out. And she was tired. Going home was okay.
She pulled off one mitten, reached for her phone, then typed the text to her cousin as she crossed the quiet street and walked along the sidewalk approaching the bookstore, bypassing most of the crowd. She’d just hit Send when she collided with someone—hard.
“Oh!” she said and they both drew back.
And—oh God. Of course it was Shane Dalton.
He squinted at her. “Is that you in there, Candy Cane?”
Oh. Lord. She’d had to put up her hood, hadn’t she? “I just can’t seem to get away from you,” she muttered—not quite realizing she’d said that out loud until he let out a laugh, something she didn’t think she’d heard from him before.
“Look, I know I made you uncomfortable on the night of the storm, but damn—you really don’t like me, do you?” He didn’t sound exactly bothered by the notion—and she felt rather foolish since, indeed, he’d really given her no reason to continue being so rude other than reminding her of her unscrupulous ex-boyfriend. “Did I do something to you I don’t know about?” he asked.
“There are plenty of people I don’t like, so you’re nothing special.” Oh crap. That hadn’t come out at all like she’d meant it to. She blinked. And felt her usual reaction to him in her panties.
“How’s your cat?” he asked.
“My cat?” Why on earth was he asking about her cat? “Fine.”
“He plan any more escapes trying to find a friendlier owner?”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s perfectly happy with his owner, I assure you.”
Shane shrugged. “Seems debatable, but whatever. I’ll leave you to your grouchiness.”
Her back went rigid, her jaw dropping, as he started to go. “My grouchiness? You’re not exactly Mr. Bubbly yourself.”
Another shrug from him as her words stopped him. “I was dragged here against my will.”
“By whom?”
“Grampy Hoskins.”
And when she least expected it, the very mention of the old man’s name relaxed her attitude. And made her be a little nicer. Everyone loved Grampy. “He has a way of being convincing. And why did you have to be dragged? I mean, it’s a nice event. And I’m not sure what you have to do that’s any better.”
Okay, maybe that last part hadn’t been so nice—and now he took on a slightly belligerent look, more like what she was accustomed to from him. “I’m happy to help out with repairs and stuff while I’m here, but Christmas isn’t my thing.” He gave his head a short, dismissive shake.
Christmas “wasn’t his thing”? She frowned at him. “How very Grinchy of you. I hope my decorations didn’t bother you too much when you were at my house.”
“I didn’t really notice them.”
“Well, that’s a shame for you,” she informed him smartly, “because they’re lovely.”
“If you like that sort of thing.”
“Most people do.”
“I’m not most people.”
“That’s for sure.” She finished with a sarcastic tip of her head.
When he let out a deep sigh, she felt his presence even more completely for the sudden silence between them. It was a heaviness—the weight of her attraction to him. Ugh.
“Well, now that we’ve thoroughly gotten on each other’s nerves, guess I’ll see you around, Candy Cane.”
“Hopefully not too soon,” she said. Not that she meant to keep being catty. But she meant the words—he might be hot, but the farther away he stayed, the better off she’d be. And as for that look between them a few minutes ago . . . well, maybe that was why she was being catty. To make sure he didn’t think that look meant anything. Because it couldn’t mean anything—she wasn’t going to let it.
“I second that,” he informed her.
Fine, whatever.
Just then, Rachel appeared between them with a smile. “Hey, you two.”
Crap. Now it would be awkward for either of them to walk away.
She looked to Candice. “I’ve already put some plans in place to help you get rolling on the party. Mick and Logan are going to clear snow from Miss Ellie’s garden for the outside part of the party, and clear paths to the door.”
“And to the dock, too, please,” Candice requested. “I’m thinking we’ll have ice-skating.”
Rachel’s face brightened. “Oh that’s nice!” Then she got back to business. “And Mike is going to loan Shane his truck—and Shane, you can bring the Santa chair and banquet tables to Miss Ellie’s and help Candice get it all set up and in place.” Then she looked back and forth between them with a smile. “Don’t you love it when a plan comes together?”
Eight
“You’re screwy, and you’re driving me crazy, too.”
George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
Candice blinked. Twice. “Wh—wh—wh—”
“I think what she’s trying to say is something like over her dead body,” Shane volunteered.
“No,” Candice spat, finding her voice. Then looked to Rachel. “Just . . . I thought you said Mick would do it. And since he lives right up the road that makes more sense. Don’t you think?”
“Not really,” Rachel replied. “Mick has taken on an integral role in repairing the church. Since his bricklaying job slows in winter and is pretty much impossible anyway until after all this snow melts, he can be on-site full-time, coordinating work and making sure it moves forward. And most of the guys are juggling their help with their regular jobs—plus holiday and family stuff. So Shane is the perfect choice to help with something extra, so long as he’s willing.”
“I’m willing,” he said, voice low. “Told Grampy I’d do whatever’s needed while I’m here and I meant it.”
Rachel smiled. “Then it’s settled.”
As Candice walked away, toward her car parked around the corner, she struggled with warring emotions.
One part of her wanted to be back at the tree-lighting, cold or not, singing carols and hanging out with the people she’d become friends with the last couple of years. But another part of her, like when she’d left the diner, wanted to just go home, put on some flannel pajamas, and hug her unaffectionate cat whether he liked it or not.
One part of her wanted to be as far away from Shane Dalton as possible. So that she would quit feeling all tingly and heavy and warm inside, so that her body would quit pulsing with old needs he’d somehow made new again. But another part of her wanted . . . more.
Dangerous things. Like kissing. And touching.
For her, getting physical with a man was real, true intimacy. She didn’t do it lightly—and that part wasn’t about Bobby; she’d never done it lightly, even before him.
She had to be comfortable with a guy, and she’d always been aware of certain risks in succumbing to desire: Would you like how it felt with that person once you were in it, moving forward with the touching and the kissing? Would they like how it felt to touch and kiss you? Would you kiss the same? What if it all felt more awkward than natural, or more like effort than passion?
But with Bobby, the chemistry had been so strong that it had brushed all those risks aside. The kissing and touching—and the sex; the sweet, hot sex—had come as naturally as breathing. The risks with him had turned out to be entirely different ones.
And already, she feared . . . suspected . . . knew . . . that it would
be the same with Shane. Like breathing. No trying, just doing.
Getting into her car and starting the ignition, she turned the heat on high and felt . . . safe. Cocooned. She’d sought that feeling in her house, too, and even in her job. That safety of being alone, totally at her ease, wrapped in that solitary comfort.
But as she put the car in Drive and eased out onto the slushy street, heading away from the lights and energy of the square, she experienced a certain pull back in that direction—again, suffering the struggle to go two opposite ways—and knew the time really had come for her to make some changes.
She wasn’t sure the change should be Shane Dalton, though.
In a couple of weeks, she’d never see him again. And passion, sex—it came with emotions for her. And why would she want to get involved—especially that way—with someone who would only be in her life such a short time?
He can’t hurt you later.
She wasn’t sure where the words had come from, but it was as if someone had whispered them in her ear.
And it hit her how true they were—if you know something has limits and you go into it with eyes wide open, maybe that made the ending okay. After all, how much could someone hurt her in only a week or two or however long he’d be here?
But what are you thinking?
You aren’t the sort of woman who has fly-by-night affairs. You aren’t the sort of woman who has any affairs. You don’t know how to make a move on a guy—and even if you did, what if he rejected you?
Okay, that settled it. As she turned onto Blue Valley Road, she decided once and for all—Shane Dalton was a bad idea for her, chemistry or not.
And as for the fact that Rachel was insisting on shoving them together, totally ruining her grand plan of avoidance . . . well, she’d take that as it came. He’d be in her space at Miss Ellie’s for a day, maybe two. She’d live. And then he’d leave. And life—and Christmas—would go on in Destiny just fine without him.