“Tonight?”
“Tonight.”
“Halle-fucking-lujah.”
Chapter Fifteen
The heart chakra couple will often follow the same moral principles and uphold the same family values. This will allow for peace and happiness in the home.
CLAYTON
“And this little piggy went wee wee weeeee all the way home.” I shook Lily’s pinky toe, making her squeal with laughter.
Her breath came in ragged gasps as I situated her in bed, covered her up, and tucked her in on all sides around her small form. I was pretty proud of myself for remembering one of the nursery stories my mom used to humor me with as a kid.
Lily’s black hair, so like her mother’s, spread out on her pink sheets. I swept a lock off her forehead, and that’s when she nailed me with it.
“Clay, are you gonna be my daddy now?”
Just like in the cartoons with the roadrunner and the coyote, a giant proverbial anvil landed right on my chest, pressing my ribcage against my heart. A whoosh of air left my lungs as I blinked and inhaled slowly, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. This was not a conversation I could take lightly. I glanced around to see if Monet’s mommy radar had magically sent out a homing beacon. Maybe she could zero in from afar and show up and do mommy things that would change the subject and make everyone happy all at the same time. Unfortunately, none of that happened.
Against my normal inclination, I decided to go the coward route since I hadn’t had this conversation with Monet. As much as I would’ve liked to claim this little girl and her mother, we were not officially at that place. We’d need a church, an officiant, a horde of yogis, my family, and a badass party before anything became official.
“Why would you ask that, sweetie?” I sat on the edge of her bed and eased closer so she could play with the leather bracelet I’d worn since college. Trent and I had bought them on a whim in hippie central down on Telegraph Avenue, where the street vendors always set up their homemade wares for selling to tourists and locals. I guess maybe it could be considered a friendship bracelet of sorts.
Lily’s shoulders bounced up and down, but her eyes stayed on the bracelet. “I don’t have a daddy, and I can’t have PowPow because he’s Auntie Mimi’s and not Mommy’s husband. That’s what Mimi said. But you like Mommy. A lot. I see you kissin’ her all the time.”
I grinned. “I do like your mommy very much. In fact, I love your mommy. And you know what?”
Her dark-blue eyes flashed to mine. “What?” There was awe in her tone, as if I was about to impart a big secret to her.
“I love you too.” I tapped her nose.
She smiled huge. “Good. Then you’re my daddy. Great. I’ll tell my friends. Oh!” Her eyes widened to the size of tennis balls. “I’ll tell my teacher too and PowPow and Mimi. Great. Just great.”
My gut twisted painfully. “No, baby, I’m not your daddy…yet,” I added because I couldn’t not.
Her nose crinkled up in the way that I knew she was not happy.
“But you said you love Mommy and you love me. Then you can be my daddy.” There literally was no gray area for a five-year-old. None at all.
I was pretty sure I physically felt my heart rip in two knowing that without even trying, I was going to hurt this little girl. I never wanted to hurt her. Ever. I wished more than anything I could be everything she wanted, but I couldn’t make those promises. I had a good idea where things were leading with Monet, and right now, between the two of us, we were awesome. Still, we had to deal with Kyle; we had to have some peace to be a couple and some time being a family of three that was not tainted by the threat of someone trying to hurt either of my girls. It did not, however, change that an ache filled my chest, wanting more right this second but knowing I had to wait. We all did.
“One day, sweetie, I’d like nothing more than to call you my own, but for now we need to take our time. If your mom and I get married, then I can officially adopt you.”
“A-bop me?” she repeated.
“Ah-dop-t you.” I sounded out the syllables and exaggerated the t so she could hear the variance.
“’S’wat I said. A-bopt me.”
I inhaled full and deep and hovered over my girl with my forearms on each side of her little body and brought my face close to hers. “Sweetie, let’s focus on being happy today, okay? We’ll worry about the rest another time.”
Her response was to wrap her tiny arms around my neck and plaster her forehead to mine. She smelled of that baby-wash stuff and lotion her mom put on her after her bath, with a hint of jasmine just like her mother. I closed my eyes, content to be embraced by an amazing child. It was a new feeling, something I hoped I’d never get used to.
“I love you, King Clay.” She squeezed my neck, kissed my cheek, and then let go.
“I love you too, Queen Lily.” I kissed her forehead. “You gonna stay in bed all night this time? You’ve got the super cool new salt rock lamp light we got you. And see that white thing there?”
She nodded.
“That’s a monitor. We will hear and be able to see you while you sleep, and Mommy and King Clay will be checking on you regularly. Okay?”
She glanced at the monitor, then the salt rock lamp that glowed a soft orangey yellow throughout the room. Our little love was not willing to sleep in the dark after the attempted break-in, and we wouldn’t make her.
“Also, you can see that your window now has a super big lock.” I pointed to the new lock we’d installed. And this stick?” I pulled it out of the window track so she could see. “There is no way anything can fit through that window unless you personally remove it yourself. And the best ever is this super-secret magical covering. Nothing is getting through this magic wall.” I dragged down the blackout blind we’d installed.
Monet felt if we put in new window coverings, mentally, her little mind would block out some of the fear of the window. Reiterating the extra locks were in place and showing her the monitor would hopefully ease any additional fears.
“What do you think?”
She snuggled into her bed, her eyes getting drowsy.
“I like magical walls.”
Of course she did. And she believed they were real and they’d protect her. Monet was a freaking genius. Another reason to show my appreciation to my woman tonight.
Once more, I tucked Lily in and kissed her forehead. Her eyes were closed and her breath was already evening out as I stood above her. Resilient little girl. Just like her mother.
Closing Lily’s door just enough to leave a crack of light from the hallway, I made my way into the kitchen. Monet was finishing up the dishes from dinner. I cooked, she cleaned. If she cooked, I cleaned. We’d only been living with one another for a little while, but we’d happily found our own system with the nightly duties. On the nights that I did the chores, she put Lily to bed. Over the past couple weeks, much to our dismay, that had been in our bed.
“She down?” Her voice was calm yet concerned.
“Yeah, beautiful. You’ll never believe what she asked me, though. I almost called out for a life raft.”
Monet cocked a hip against the island, picked up her half-full glass of red wine and took a sip. A drop of wine sat like a pomegranate seed right on her bottom lip. Before I could move, she licked the drop away. I grunted but stayed strong, picking up my own glass of wine and crossing my arms.
“Really? What was it about?”
I took a sip of wine, allowing its flavors to roll across my taste buds while I thought how to broach the sensitive subject for the second time. “She asked if I was her daddy now.”
Monet’s eyes grew to twice their size. “She didn’t.”
I chuckled, took another sip, and then stretched back. “Yep.”
“Well…uh…” She cleared her throat and looked down. “What did you say?”
I watched my girl become exceedingly uncomfortable, the absolute last emotion I wanted her to feel right now.
“
What do you think I said?” I tried to take the bite out of my question but failed miserably.
She frowned. “I wouldn’t begin to know.”
“Monet, you know where this is going for us. You know.”
Instead of responding, she turned around, set her glass down, grabbed the dishtowel, and started wiping at the already clean counter. Deflection. Not a good sign.
“I know I love you, you love me, and that’s really all I know.”
I came up behind her, set my glass next to hers, and wrapped both my arms around her, allowing her to rest against me. “You know more than that. We’re going for long term. I wouldn’t have moved myself in if we weren’t.”
Her head dropped down, and she turned quickly. “It’s still hard to believe that you want me, well…us. It’s a lot to take on.”
Needing her to connect with my words on a visceral level, I cupped her cheeks and ducked my head toward hers. “Monet, listen, and listen good. The second, the very second I think the time is right and you’ll commit to me forever, without any leftover fears from what that bastard did to you mentally, I’ll be putting a ring on your finger. We will go the distance. I’ve no doubt. When you know it too, that’s when it will happen.”
She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head over my heart. “I love hearing your heartbeat. It reminds me that I have somebody to hold on to. That I’m no longer alone.”
“And I’ll always be here for you to hold. Lily too. And just so you don’t get your panties in a twist, I told the queen we needed to take our time, and if you and I got married, then I’d adopt her and I’d be her daddy. I hope that was okay. I kind of freaked out.”
She snickered against my chest and rubbed her nose against my sternum. “No, I think that’s fair to say. She’d asked Atlas one time to be her daddy, and we had to tell her that he needed to be Mommy’s husband. So that’s kind of the same thing. Although she didn’t talk to Atlas for a week, which really broke his heart. That man loves her like his own.”
A niggling trickle of the green-eyed monster bore down on me. “Yeah, well, he can back the truck up because I’ll be taking on the daddy duties until something is official. And you mark my words, beautiful. It will be official.”
I could barely recognize the force behind the words spewing from my lips. The singular thought that Atlas wanted to be Lily’s father, even in the most peripheral sense of the word, slithered like a poisonous snake down my spine. I clenched my hands into fists until Monet placed her hands on my biceps and ran her warm palms down my arms to my hands. She deftly eased each finger out of lockdown so she could intertwine our fingers.
“I love that you are a little gonzo macho man about this, but Atlas would never try to overstep his boundaries. He’s her uncle, and he loves the role. He’s also one of your best friends. Let’s not get riled up over who loves who more.” She grinned, rose onto her toes, and put her mouth on mine.
She tasted of wine and the sweetest sugar. My girl was whipped cream and cherries all mixed in one. I could not get enough. I ran my hands down to her ass and cupped it firmly. She moaned into my mouth. The second that reached my consciousness, I hefted her up, encouraging her to wrap her legs around my waist. My woman did not need to be asked. When her crotch touched my hardened dick, I was the one moaning.
“Fuck!”
“Mmm.” She made that little sound that always went straight to my cock.
“We done talking?” I spoke around licks and nips of her sugary mouth.
“Um-hum,” she murmured and slanted her head to the side and grinded her body against mine while taking my mouth in a deep kiss.
I didn’t have to hear another sound. I locked her body to mine and led her to our room. Our room. I hadn’t gotten over how good that felt, knowing I had a home to go to, a family that wanted me there every night. Fucking dreamworthy. And I was sharing that dream with the most delightful woman alive. I’d never take that right for granted.
When I made it to the room, I kicked the door shut. Thank God Lily was on the opposite side of the house or the noise surely would have woken her. I slipped one hand behind me and turned the lock. Lily could still come to the door if she was scared, but I did not want her little eyes to see me taking her mommy. No way, no how. That would devastate Monet and me more than the little one. Of that I was certain.
When I got to the bed, I turned around and planted my ass on the mattress; my woman adjusted without comment, her lips never so much as breaking a millimeter away from mine.
I kissed her hard, holding the back of her head and crushing her mouth. She mewled and rubbed her delectable body against my erection. I could feel her heat through the single layer of my cotton track pants. She was positively simmering in my lap.
Pulling away, I lifted the sleep tank she’d put on before dinner. Her breasts bounced free, the brown nubs already erect, seeking attention. I curled forward and took one succulent tip. I didn’t lead up by flicking and laving it. No, I went straight for the gusto and sucked her peak hard, taking into my mouth as much of her breast as I could. Her hands flew to my head, gripping me to her chest. No way I’d leave heaven after one taste.
I became hungry. Positively starved for her skin. My animalistic side was coming out, wanting to take, rut, claim.
“So good, Clay. So, so good.” Her head tipped back and that silky long hair of hers fell back behind her, trailing against my knees and thighs. Christ, I loved her hair. Thick, wavy, and sexy as fuck.
I switched breasts, still using my thumb to rub and circle around the one I’d left. I vacillated between plucking her brown tips to sucking them deep and biting down. She ground down so hard on my cock in my lap, I knew she was going to come. And I wanted that. Fuck yeah, I wanted it.
I twisted each nipple and kissed around the globes, pressing them together so I could rub my face and scruff all over them. Mark them with little red scratches showing I’d been there. I’d like seeing that tomorrow. On that thought, I bit down on the side of her breast, finally feeling free to leave my mark on her skin in a possessive but loving reminder.
She arched and gasped.
“You coming, beautiful? Just from me playing with your pretty titties?” I asked around a mouthful.
A thrust of her hips and a grind against my cock sent shivers skittering along every nerve ending. I plucked and tugged at each tip, trying to make her crazy.
“Clay…please,” she mewled, chasing an orgasm that was just out of reach.
“No, no.” I tsked and flicked my tongue against one tip but continued the barrage to the other oversensitive peak. “I want you to come. Get nice and wet for me. Soak those panties, beautiful, because the second you do, I’m going to rip them off and bury my cock so deep, you’ll never forget our first time.”
“Baby…” she whispered, closed her eyes, and lifted herself almost completely off my body. Her knees held her weight while she arched her chest, gifting me her breasts. And what a gift they were. Round, a perfect handful, but not too large on her frame. Mocha-colored, quarter-sized areolas that beaded up nicely under my hands and mouth.
Wanting her to skyrocket but also enjoying the fuck out of watching her go over the edge, I pinched each tip, twisted them—first right, then left—and enjoyed the show.
Monet slammed her ass down, her center to my crotch, and rode my erection through my pants. Her body was wild, bucking, adding that additional bite of pain to her tits each time she pushed back.
“I’m going to come…” she announced like she always did. Cute and hot.
“Come for me,” I urged, watching the most erotic display of a woman’s sexuality I’d ever seen, and I had a front-row ticket as it was happening in my lap.
As Monet arched, she shoved one of her hands into her tiny sleep shorts and went to town on her clit. I grunted, thinking about thumbing that knot myself. That simple move had my balls drawing up tight and sweat pricking over my skin.
I continued the torture on he
r breasts until her entire body locked around my form and she cried out, tipping her head back and losing it all in several gasps.
“Fucking hell, you’re a goddess.” I let go of her breasts but kissed and licked all around them, avoiding the bruised tips. I ran my tongue up her neck and back down, biting into my spot until she started laughing.
I inhaled against her neck and shifted far enough so I could cup her cheek and see her eyes. Limitless pools of love stared back at me.
“How do you feel?” I asked, kissing her lips in a tiny peck.
“Yummy.”
One of my favorite words. It wasn’t something I’d heard regularly in bed, which made it all the more unique, because she was saying it and was adorable after having just gotten her rocks off on my lap.
I figured she might yawn and get sleepy after the day she’d had, but instead she gripped the hem of my shirt, yanked it up and off, and pushed me back until I was flat against the mattress, her legs still straddling me.
“My turn.” She gave a sexy wiggle and I knew that meant my girl was going to wrap her perfect lips around the head of my cock and suck me down. I could not let that happen because tonight wasn’t about that. No, it was about more, about finding together.
Her tongue came out and flicked against my nipple. A spiral of lust tingled from that spot and went straight down south to where my already painful erection stood loud and proud.
Shifting my weight around, she got the hint and scrambled back. She stood at the end of the bed, chucked off her panties and shorts in one go, and stood gloriously naked.
“Goddamn, you’re gorgeous,” I reminded her.
She smiled, and her eyes lit up as she reached out and tugged my pants down in one fell swoop. Once I too was naked, she ran her nails up my thighs and licked her lips.
I shook my head and backed up the bed so my head reached the cloud of pillows at the headboard. I crooked a finger. “Now come here.” I pointed to my dick, a pearl of pre-cum leaking at the top at my excitement from her bucking-bronco routine on my lap. “Right here.” I again gestured to my cock.
Limitless Love: A Lotus House Novel: Book Four Page 21