by Amanda McGee
Sadie’s eyes were heavy and she had dozed off several times, yet she refused to accept that the party was over. More than once she had awakened, still talking, without ever acknowledging that she had fallen asleep. She attempted to revive the conversation but more often than not, she made no sense at all.
“Come on, Sadie,” Blaze said from the doorway. “It’s time for bed.”
“No. I’m not ready yet.”
Geeze Sade, just go to bed already.
“Fine, I will, grumpy,” she responded.
I began to laugh, and then paused. Tristan and Blaze stared at Sadie, appearing thoroughly concerned that her sleepiness now bordered insanity.
“You didn’t say anything did you?” Sadie asked me in a confused, yet serious tone.
“I really didn’t.”
****
Chapter Eighteen
“But I heard you plain as day!”
“Sadie, I didn't say anything!”
“You said, ‘Geeze Sade, just go to bed already!’”
Tristan and Blaze hung on every word, growing visibly puzzled and intrigued. At this point strange occurrences barely registered for me. My body had accelerated healing powers, I had tumbled through a portal into a supernatural land, and I was currently in love with a guy I had known for a few days. If you wanted to shock me it would have taken much more effort.
“How can you hear something I never said out loud?” I asked.
“I don’t know but I heard you!”
“What is happening exactly?” Tristan inquired. “I’m trying to follow but—wow.”
“In my head, I was telling Sadie to go to bed only she heard it somehow.”
“Think something else but direct it to Sadie,” he suggested.
This was like when someone said to “say the first thing that pops in your head” only the first thing was always stupid so you tried to smart it up a bit.
Ummm. Sadie, thanks for my party.
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Oh my gosh! Let me think of something and tell me if you can hear it.”
Sadie stared at me with extreme determination. Her face turned bright red and then she collapsed onto her chair with a deep exhale. I had heard nothing
“You don’t have to try so hard,” I said. “Just talk to me. Just to me.”
Alex, can you hear me?
The words reverberated in my brain as if Sadie was speaking aloud.
“I can hear you,” I answered.
Sadie’s mouth fell open and I did not have to wait long for the reaction I was expecting. She jumped from her seat and pranced around the patio. I decided not to wait for the end of her performance.
“How many abilities are we going to have?” I asked, knowing no one had an answer. “Does this mean we can read each others’ minds? I don’t want that.”
“I don’t think this is a case of complete telepathy,” Tristan said. “If it were you would have been able to do it all along. You all are simply capable of communicating with one another using your minds.”
“Simply,” I remarked. “There is nothing simple about any of this.”
I had once joked that maybe I would sprout wings and fly away. I no longer found that joke humorous. The magic power bit was intriguing but I drew the line at needing specially made clothes to accommodate my wings.
“Blaze, see if you can hear me,” Sadie said, rejoining the discussion.
His eyes widened, lips parted, and we knew he could hear her.
“Well, this is an interesting development,” Blaze said. “I thought we were done with this.”
“We’ve only been together a few days,” I said. “I guess it takes some time for the magic to show itself. Even after all we’ve been through, that still sounds silly.”
“But I think you’re right,” Tristan said. “It could have also been delayed a bit since you’re here and your bodies are fighting against the atmosphere.”
“I think it’s cool!” Sadie yelped. “I wonder what else we’ll get.”
“Hopefully nothing,” I said. “I don’t want any more. Visions, dreams, strength, quick healing, and absurd athleticism are enough for one lifetime!”
“You’re not athletic because of magic,” Blaze said. “Dad was a runner. The magic may help but mostly I’d say you got that from Dad.”
Sadie and I were speechless, unmoving, and afraid that any response would scare Blaze back into broody silence. He had never spoken about our father so freely. I smiled at him, not too big, even though my facial muscles were about to burst. It was a big deal for him to offer such information. It seemed Blaze was finally comfortable enough with us to speak without caution. At least, for the moment.
“Thanks Blaze,” I said, almost whispering.
Blaze offered me a nod then looked to Tristan. The two gave the impression that they too were trying to communicate without speaking. It was an epidemic. Blaze gave Tristan a subtle nod and moved toward Sadie.
“Sadie, bed time,” Blaze said.
Blaze once again shot a determined gaze; only this time his stare was directed at Sadie. She followed him inside with a sneaky grin plastered across her face and no further need to argue. Suspicious, I pursued them. Feeling a hand on mine as I reached the door, I turned to find Tristan standing behind me.
“Can you stay for a little while longer?” he asked, his voice shaky. “I have something to show you.”
“Sure,” I responded in the calmest voice I could muster.
Tristan led me a short distance into his backyard. We stopped under a cluster of trees that formed a large umbrella over his back lawn.
“Did you bring me out here to kill me?”
He let out a loud whistle and the trees lit up like Christmas. Every branch twinkled, winking down at us. My hands trembled at the utter romance of it all. I shoved them in my pockets, pleading for them to settle down.
“Oh, you and Blaze planned this! I was under the impression that you had the mind chat power, too.”
Feeling awkward, I laughed to try to conceal my anxiety at being alone with him. Crossing my arms did nothing to disguise my nerves; it merely transported the shivering to my knees. With my hands unoccupied, I could only fidget, so I shoved them back into my pockets.
“Unfortunately that is one ability I cannot pick up. Looks like that is just another special quality of the Ryan clan.”
“That’s probably a good thing.”
“Not with you. I expect reading your mind would be fascinating…and enlightening.”
“I think you’re enlightened enough!” I snorted.
“Will you dance with me?” he asked, taking one hand from my pocket and holding it gently in his.
I knew it had to be a dream. Magic and evil witches I could accept but this had to be imaginary.
Horrible dancer? I'm sore from practice? I'm allergic?
I searched through my list of excuses to present to Tristan. No excuse felt legitimate so I settled on the most polite response I could think of.
“There’s no music.”
Not the most solid diversion but it was too late to take it back. Tristan grinned, let out another whistle, and music began to play. I saw no speakers or stereo and I was certain there was no orchestra in the bushes.
“You have our music here?” I asked.
“Blaze’s iPod was his back pocket when he crash landed. What an interesting contraption! Turns out, his powers are more than just a light show, they can charge batteries.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Only Blaze would ever think to try to charge an mP3 player with his magic powers.
Tristan was proud of himself. The nervousness I once found endearing in him had vanished. He stood before me confident and strong and I loved this version even more.
I may have been new at this kind of thing but I knew fairy tale when I saw it. My birthday wish played on a loop in my head. I was usually more cynical, but my heart had gained control of my thoughts and actions for once. I decided to enjoy it f
or what it was—an excruciatingly affectionate moment.
“I’ve never been a very good dancer,” I said. “Kate made me dance once at junior prom. It was a disaster. Toes were stepped on...”
“Shh.”
He held my hand in his, placing my other hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. Any remaining rambles had become trapped behind the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
We swayed beneath thousands of tiny sparkling lights in a moment reserved for classic love stories and what I often referred to as “sappy” movies. All resistance was erased and I accepted the beauty of this unexpected surprise.
I also reevaluated my previous stance on surprises.
“Was this a birthday to remember?” he asked.
“I will surely never forget it.”
I smiled a smile that every teenage girl has the first time a boy kisses her or holds her hand. I was beginning to understand those girls, but I was glad I didn’t waste this first-time feeling on some immature guy that would have only liked me for a week.
“That looks good on you,” he said, tilting my face towards his.
“What?”
“A smile.”
Cheesy. I love it.
His lips grazed mine and sent shock waves through my body. But for reasons I wasn’t sure of, I turned away from him.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
I had already managed to forget my vow to enjoy moments as they came. I was my own worst enemy. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted a kiss that would declare the feelings I was unable to say aloud.
Tristan released my hand and took a few steps back, ending the dance that had continued despite my rejection.
Tristan had a sense of youth without being immature and a face so boyishly handsome that it could only get better with age. He seemed to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders without ever breaking a sweat. Compassion and love shone through his deep brown eyes like neon signs showing you where to find a friend. His long fingers bore tiny calluses and his chestnut locks, always brushed haphazardly off his face, read of a man more concerned with an honest day’s work than vanity.
I could never amount to anything close to him. My loner personality and little to no life skills would never hold his attention. I was not proud of myself; it was ludicrous to expect any more from him.
But watching him walk away silenced all doubt. With him I believed that I was enough. His insightful, beautiful face was much more than a stunning creation by the heavens; it was my hope, my esteem, my salvation. Tristan had already saved me, even if neither of us knew it yet.
“Wait,” I said, reaching for him. “Tristan, I’m sorry.”
Unlike our first kiss, which turned me to mush, I was fully present in this kiss. I wanted to remember every breath, every taste, every emotion, and every sound. If it was going to hurt later I wanted it to be worth it.
Every inch of me was buzzing and alive. With my arms wrapped around his shoulders, I closed my eyes and felt as if I were floating high above the ground and the twinkling lights were stars illuminating our dance. I understood why people risked everything to feel this way.
“And here I was thinking it was your stare that I had to watch out for,” I whispered.
“You aren’t the only one affected, Alex.”
He placed my hand on his chest. His heart was beating almost as fast as mine.
“At least I’m not the only one.”
He twirled me around, his steps fluid as we waltzed beneath our make-believe stars. I had never danced this way before. But somehow my feet understood the steps in spite of my attention being focused on Tristan.
“I have met you before you know,” I said.
“How’s that?”
“I had a dream about you and you have stuck with me all this time.”
“No wonder you were so quiet when we met. I thought you were either very shy or very terrified.”
“Definitely terrified. Mostly confused and slightly excited.”
He smiled the same smile he showed the day we met that was so genuinely joyful it created several lines that framed his mouth. I wondered how I had ever made it through life without that smile…or how my future would look without it.
“Did someone break your heart?” he asked. “Is that why your walls are so high?”
“That’s bold.”
“I don’t mean to be forward. You’re so guarded. I can’t help but wonder why.”
I did not answer, but instead rested my head on his shoulder to contemplate my response. This question had plagued me most of my life because the older I got the more “it” pushed me away from potential relationships—love, friendship, and everything in between.
The truth was I never let anyone close enough to break my heart. Loneliness didn’t control me and that was still accurate. However, I was beginning to see that I wasn’t conquering the fear of being alone; I was simply masking my terror of falling.
“I mistook being alone as independence and, as it turns out, it cost me dearly.”
Tristan halted our dance to take both of my hands into his. I tried to brace myself for what would come next, aware that I was already in too deep.
I could not run from him and could no longer deny my affection that was more obvious than the danger awaiting us beyond the property line.
“You assume that because you made a choice that you can’t change it, but that is why we have tomorrows. Every morning is a chance to reevaluate and reassemble.”
We sat facing one another under one of the trees. The cool grass smelled like pure summertime. Tristan never let go of my hands.
“You can’t control every aspect of yourself or your life,” he continued. “Love is beyond our control but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look for it or be so afraid that you don’t recognize it when it comes your way.”
Love.
“You sure do have a way with words,” I said. “Are you sure that isn’t your magic power?”
“Are you sure deflecting isn’t yours?”
I really wanted to say that I recognized my love for him immediately. In fact, I might have been so daring as to say I loved him since I saw him in my dream. I wanted to say that I sensed his love for me and that I finally understood the clichéd line ‘When it’s right, you just know.’
Instead, I utilized my predictable defense mechanism.
It was clear that I had disappointed him yet again. His smile was still there but the hurt radiated through his beautifully sad eyes. The iPod, still playing, serenaded us with a rather surprising and quite emotional love song. The man’s voice sounded familiar but I could not place him. It was clear from his words that he was head-over-heels in love. I never imagined Blaze for a pour-my-heart-out-in-a-song type of guy.
“What I really wanted to say is—” I began.
Shuffling, I crossed my legs and regained control of my hands. Taking several deep breaths, I tried to ready myself for what I was about to say but I still wasn’t sure what words would roll off my tongue.
“I care for you Tristan. It’s insane to care as much as I do. We hardly know each other!” my voice cracked. “We are already too involved in this and, although this goes against my birthday resolution, we have to be realistic about this.”
“What is unrealistic about being honest about your feelings?”
“Do you understand that tomorrow we could be dead or, best case scenario, Sadie, Blaze, and I make it back home? This will hurt enough as it is without verbalizing every emotion bubbling up inside of me. I have yet to figure out how to accept losing my mother, now I have to figure how to accept losing you. It is unfair.”
“I will get all three of you home safely. That is my promise to you. But I wanted you leave knowing not a minute was wasted. You believe fantasy is better than reality, but in my reality I get to be with you and that is better than any illusion. Wouldn’t you rather
it ends because it had to not because you were too afraid to experience it when you had the chance?”
Even if I were brave enough to admit that I agreed his words had formed a lump in my throat.
“Maybe we are just too different,” he said. “I believe that to love, even for a day, is better than a lifetime of regret. That's all I wanted—to be with you while I had the chance and carry that moment with me in the days after.”
For someone who planned out every possible scenario for every situation presented, I had somehow managed to miss the most important one. Tristan made an excellent argument, but I should have known that all along. There was no rational reason I should hold back, only worried excuses.
“You are right,” I said. “You can’t plan for love or loss. My thoughts are my way of protecting myself and they keep me on the safe path. The safe path is lonely and, honestly, it just confuses me. I never know how I truly feel about anything because there is a constant tug-of-war in my brain.”
My voice was almost a screech. I really had no idea how to be emotional.
“Why can’t you just go back with us? Mom got to pass through, why not you?”
“It’s just not that simple.”
“What does that mean?”
“Your mother risked her life to protect our town.”
“You are risking your life to protect us.”
“Alex, this isn’t a negotiation. The only way to protect your mother was to send her away. The Elders don’t concern themselves with every little thing and they certainly aren’t just handing out tickets to Earth in the town square.”
“The Elders? Are they like your authority figures?”
He nodded.
“Where are they? Why aren’t they helping us?”
“That’s complicated. Trust me, the last thing you want is them interfering.”
I honestly did not want to delve into that subject. The Elders sounded like a group of old guys I would find a great deal of annoyance with, especially since they did not seem keen on providing assistance or showing themselves.
No one who would listen had any power to change our fate. In a world of magic as we ourselves developed our own special blend of mystical ability, we had very little power over our own destiny.