One Autumn with Darcy

by Rose Fairbanks

  “I will ready things,” Elizabeth offered.

  Darcy managed a very small smile when he saw Elizabeth rise to the occasion. How did he ever think she would be incapable of managing manage his homes? Georgiana was still distressed and Miss Kitty facilitated between believing Lydia was getting too much attention and wailing her best friend’s unknown condition. Jane and Miss Mary went after Elizabeth to help and despite the noise of Kitty, Darcy recognized it was quieter than he expected.

  Scanning the room again, he recognized Mrs. Bennet standing over Lydia, who still lay on the sofa. She gently stroked her daughter’s hair. She was entirely silent but tears streamed freely down her face. Mr. Bennet wrapped one arm around his wife and was murmuring something in her ear. The tenderness surprised Darcy and he turned away from intruding on their private moment. He turned his attention to Bingley and they considered the best way to transport Lydia upstairs to the chamber when it was ready.

  An hour later, Mr. Jones arrived and examined Lydia.

  “It is as Mr. Darcy feared. I have bled her, but I believe this illness is beyond my experience. It is good a physician has been sent for. In the meantime, I must ask that those who are not family leave immediately,” he told the assembled group.

  Jane began to cry, and Bingley was at her side instantly. “I will not leave you again, Jane.”

  “No! I could not bear it if you became ill, too.”

  Darcy interjected, “My friend and I assisted in moving Miss Lydia several times now, and my sister was alone with her when she fainted. I doubt the wisdom of us now leaving.”

  “It is all my fault!” Georgiana wailed. “She would not believe me about Mr. Wickham, and I was too forceful!”

  Everyone hastened to tell her that could not be the case, and Elizabeth attempted to console her. When the apothecary amended his statements that everyone should stay confined to Longbourn, Elizabeth took the sobbing Georgiana to her room.

  A storm began, delaying the physician until morning. The house was still and sombre, the various ladies of the house were reduced to mostly silent tears. They all retired early and the situation was grave enough Darcy managed to give little thought to the fact that he was once again only a few doors down from a sleeping Elizabeth.

  The next morning arrived with dark clouds in the sky, though the roads proved passable for the physician. He scarcely had more information to give but he did have additional medications to try. They had little effect. Lydia lay abed insensible to everything, with a high fever and symptoms of delirium.

  Elizabeth, Jane and Mrs. Bennet took turns remaining at Lydia’s side. The gentlemen consoled the ladies as best they could. Mary and Kitty took to keeping Georgiana occupied. Elizabeth had scarcely been able to comfort her. Georgiana still blamed herself entirely.

  On the second night of Lydia’s illness even Elizabeth’s spirits began to slip. Darcy sat with her hand in hand next to Lydia’s bedside. The door was open for propriety although it was unnecessary. Elizabeth wiped her sister’s brow and in what Darcy believed was a fit of exhaustion began to weep uncontrollably. He pulled her to his chest and pressed kisses in to her hair until she calmed. Then she looked up to him with reddened eyes.

  “I never gave her enough attention. I was content to merely scold or laugh at her. And now...”

  “No, Elizabeth. I will not allow you to despair. I have seen the deathbed. Look, her cheeks are still rosy.”

  She looked more hopeful but still did not quite believe him. “But you said your mother...”

  “Lydia is stout and young. My mother was always frail. Nor does Lydia cough. The physician tells us not to fear yet.”

  She laid her head against his shoulder again and said, “I will try.”

  “Dearest, you are a very affectionate sister. Would you still have come to Netherfield if it was Lydia who was sick instead of Jane?”

  “Of course!” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I am so thankful you are here with me.”

  Regardless of being able to assuage Elizabeth’s feelings of guilt, Darcy recalled her words from only a few days ago. The Bennets were soon to be his family and were now on the brink of tragedy but he should have felt for their concerns long ago. Maybe they never had a daughter facing an illness before, but they had always been worthy of his notice. From his first acquaintance with them they had welcomed him into their home. It was only after his poor behaviour that Mrs. Bennet felt compelled to publically reprimand him at Netherfield. At the time he was angry at Mrs. Bennet, first for insulting himself and secondly for embarrassing Elizabeth but he had brought it on himself entirely.

  When he would join Mr. Bennet in the library, the older gentleman was full of recriminations as well. The sensible people in the household knew Lydia’s illness was not caused by Georgiana’s revelation of Wickham’s true nature but as the physician offered little hope or information, it was impossible not to have regrets. Darcy did admire the way the family came together, though. He had not experienced that kind of unity and acceptance—of being able to show weakness and have others provide support—in a very long time. He only hoped it did not come too late.

  *****

  Saturday, December 14, 1811

  Elizabeth stretched her back after sitting watch over Lydia. Jane was taking her place, and Elizabeth determined she must speak with her future sister.

  Entering the small music room she asked Mary and Kitty to leave her alone with Georgiana, who immediately cast her eyes down.

  “Miss Darcy, are you feeling well?”

  “Yes, only I still hate myself for making Miss Lydia collapse. I can hardly believe I spoke so forcefully. You must despise me!”

  Elizabeth sat next to her on the pianoforte bench. “Why would I despise you?”

  “I have been so foolish! I know my brother informed you of my near elopement with Mr. Wickham. Then I stormed into your home and berated your sister when she certainly was not so stupid as I. It was nothing but selfishness and pride! I was ready to explain matters to you but I did not wish to appear so ridiculous to her after she insulted me and William. Mr. Wickham is terrible, but I share much of the blame and I did not wish to say that to your sister.”

  “I assure you, Lydia needed to hear it and not in gentleness. She has been spoiled by my parents. My mother indulges her and my father only wishes to silence her pleas for trinkets and money. She needs a strong hand. How curious that she got it from you, who, I understand from your brother, had been feeling exceptionally meek of late. I think it very brave of you!”

  “Brave? It is not as though I fought on a battlefield.”

  “No, but that is not the lot we women have. Our power is so limited, but we must wield it with assuredness and with spirit. We may only have voices instead of weapons of warfare, but it does not make them any less important. Speaking to Lydia so forcefully was not the first time you were so courageous either. Your brother has told me how helpful you were on his journey to Longbourn and that you admitted to the premeditated elopement yourself. You risked displeasing him in both instances but stood for the truth.”

  “I…I did not think of it that way.”

  “Well, I think we seldom realize we are so brave in the midst of the battle. At the time it only appears necessary.”

  “Thank you, Miss Elizabeth. I am so thankful you forgave William and agreed to marry him!”

  “Your brother had much to forgive me of as well. Did you ever realize forgiveness requires bravery?”

  “How so?”

  “It can be terrifying to let go of your feelings and face a new world. This is true not only when forgiving a person—of not holding a grudge—but in forgiving yourself. I know I certainly am having a time of it when I think of how terribly I treated your brother.”

  “But he insists you are innocent of all wrongdoing!”

  Elizabeth smiled. “Your brother is a very generous man. No, I was wrong to be so prejudiced and to allow my vanity and pride to be hurt. To speak so freely ag
ainst him and I was especially wrong to hurt him so badly by refusing his suit. He was willing to give up so much for me and all I could think of was myself! I was terrified of giving up my life at Longbourn and facing a world that may not accept me. I was afraid of what my life would be like if your brother ever changed his affections.” Elizabeth wiped a few tears from her eyes.

  “But William is the most loyal gentleman! There is nothing you could do to destroy his love!”

  “I know, dear. And I am grateful for it. So you see, it was nothing about him and all about me. But I must learn to admit to my errors without losing my self-respect. I was foolish but it is not unforgiveable. It is only a lesson.”

  “I am so glad you are to be my sister! Maybe...maybe we could talk about this again?”

  “I would like that. And since we are to be sisters, first you must call me Lizzy and secondly, you must know sisters are not always so sensible or so dull. Come, let us learn a silly duet to cheer the family with as we wait for Lydia to recover.”

  Georgiana smiled, and Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken two days for Georgiana to overcome her shyness and speak more than a monosyllable to any of the Bennets once the apothecary pronounced Lydia seriously ill. Georgiana was even more reticent with Elizabeth than the others, leading Elizabeth to believe Georgiana genuinely disliked her. What sister could not hate a woman who abused her beloved brother so abominably in a letter? Elizabeth had been ashamed of that letter as soon as she realized it was sent but after this conversation, she would look on the past only as it gave her pleasure. More than a common interest in music, and any other topic she would later speak on with her future sister-in-law, Elizabeth discovered that she and the Darcys could teach each other a few things about forgiveness and bravery.

  Chapter Nine

  Monday, December 16, 1811

  Longbourn

  No one else in the household fell ill, and eventually the guests were given permission to leave Longbourn. Despite the fact that the Darcys and Bingley could now remove to Netherfield, they preferred to stay at Longbourn until more was known. In the meantime, gossip had made its way through Meryton, and on the fifth day of Lydia’s illness visitors began to arrive.

  Lady Lucas sat in the parlour with Jane, Elizabeth, Darcy and Bingley. Mrs. Bennet was too nervous for visitors, and the younger girls were reading in a different room.

  “Are there no signs of Miss Lydia’s improvement, then?” Lady Lucas indelicately asked. “Your father—that is the rest of the family—is well?”

  Jane replied as civilly as possible, “Dr. Coyle is very hopeful she will make a full recovery soon, and the rest of us are entirely healthy.”

  “Such excellent news!” After an awkward pause, she continued. “Eliza, we were so surprised to hear of your engagement to Mr. Darcy.”

  “Why should you be? Mr. Darcy is the most honourable and generous gentleman. He is the one who determined Lydia needed a physician and sent for his own.” She took Darcy’s hand in hers and squeezed it tightly.

  Lady Lucas watched in fascination, then turned to Jane. “And we were so pleased to hear of Mr. Bingley’s return! They do say one wedding brings on another.”

  Bingley attempted to speak, but Jane interrupted. “It seems you are very well informed, Lady Lucas.”

  “So you are engaged then?” Her incredulous exclamation was horribly insensitive for the nature of her call.

  Bingley again tried to speak, but Jane blushed and said, “My mother’s fondest wishes are coming to fruition. Yes, she has two daughters to be married.”

  Lady Lucas was silent for a moment, looking quite envious, before she turned the conversation. “Mr. Darcy, I am so happy to learn the dreadful rumours Mr. Wickham was spreading are untrue. I am even happier the scoundrel left the area when he learned he was the cause for Miss Lydia’s illness.”

  The group collectively gasped and looked at each other in wonder.

  “I have not the pleasure of understanding you, madam,” Elizabeth said.

  “Mr. Jones has said when Miss Lydia learned the truth of Wickham’s character she collapsed and fell ill. Why of course realizing his lies was too much for a young lady of breeding such as Lydia to countenance! Such unscrupulous and terrible young men attempting to pass themselves off as gentlemen these days!”

  The others said nothing, and Lady Lucas looked at her watch. “Well, do greet your parents for me, dear Jane and Eliza. It was a pleasure meeting with you, and congratulations again on your engagements to such fine men. Charlotte was so happy to hear her two dearest friends are to be so well settled,” she dropped her voice, “especially if this malady does not soon quit your family, and you must leave Longbourn.”

  The four could only give tight smiles and nod their heads. Elizabeth escorted Lady Lucas to the door, while Darcy left to request a horse be readied. Jane and Bingley sat alone in the drawing room.

  “Jane! You declared to Lady Lucas that we are engaged to be married!”

  She blushed, all her boldness gone. “Yes.”

  “Why, dearest? You had said you needed more time to trust me.”

  “I have had time to trust you. You have scarcely left my side. I know my feelings, and you know yours. Neither of us have reason to doubt again.”

  He gathered her hands. “You are certain you wish for this?”

  “Yes, Charles. I have wished to be your wife for many weeks now. Your leaving was only a misunderstanding, but, after I knew your feelings, I still worried for your constancy out of my own fears. I finally have courage, too. I love you.”

  Such a declaration could only be met with delight on Bingley’s side and, after exchanging whispered and fervent words of love, he left to ask for Mr. Bennet’s blessing.

  Darcy and Elizabeth met in the hall, returning from their errands.

  “Dearest, I must go to Meryton. I fear Wickham has left debts behind.”

  Elizabeth eyed him uneasily. “That is all you mean to do? You know, of course, he was not the cause for Lydia’s illness.”

  “What do you imagine I would do? Attempt to chase him down and duel him? No, I believe I have seen the last of George Wickham. He knows how upset I was after his designs on Georgiana. If he believes it possible for me to think he was the cause for my future sister’s condition then he knows to run and never see my face again.”

  Elizabeth thought this over and searched Darcy’s face for the truth. “Yet still you must go and do the honourable thing to clear his name. Where is your implacable resentment?” She tugged on the lapels of his coat.

  “If he will truly leave me alone now, then I can certainly forgive him of anything, but I do this to honour my father…and...”

  “And?”

  “And for you.”

  “Me!”

  “It will distress you if your neighbours are harmed by Wickham, even if it is by his absence. I was shamed more than I could say when, in your second refusal to marry me, you said you and your family were not my concern. I was taught to think meanly of the rest of the world’s sense and worth, to care only for my own family. I do believe, however, even if we were not engaged to marry I would have done everything in my power to help Lydia and, if I knew of Wickham leaving debts, I would settle them.”

  “I am sure you would,” Elizabeth then smiled and kissed him gently. Darcy reluctantly pulled away to leave on his errand, and Elizabeth returned to Jane in the drawing room to wait on the arrival of the physician.

  *****

  Lydia began to awake as a vile liquid was poured down her throat. Choking and sputtering, she opened her eyes to see a strange man staring down at her, and her mother sobbing and exclaiming in joy.

  Soon there was a pounding on the stairs and the whole household, including Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy, flooded into her small room. Her eyes searched for Mr. Darcy—she must speak with him!

  As it happened, she was too weak to speak at all. She was made to sip some broth, although her throat ached. The well-wishers we
re soon pushed out of the room and only her father and mother remained.

  Mr. Bennet hugged her side. “Lyddie, Lyddie. We are so happy you are awake!”

  “Lydia, my baby. You must never be ill again! To frighten your poor Mamma in such a way!”

  Mrs. Bennet’s words were not the shrill tone she expected.

  “You did this to get out of your reading, did you not? And threw the whole household, even the whole neighbourhood out of sorts! You ran off Mr. Wickham when even your mother’s gossip did not work.”

  It was absolutely necessary to speak now. “M-m-m-mr. Darcy?”

  Mrs. Bennet squeezed her daughter’s hand. “He is on an errand in Meryton. Do you wish to speak with him when he returns?”

  She could only nod her head. They stayed another few minutes, but she had been given medicine to sleep and soon her eyes closed.

  When she next awoke, she saw Elizabeth sitting next to her.

  “Lydia, here darling, drink some tea.” Lydia was grateful for the assistance and the liquid. Before her illness she would have been pleased with the attention, but now she only felt shame.

  “Lydia, did you still wish to speak with Mr. Darcy?”

  Lydia looked around the room, expecting to see him. When she did not see him then, momentarily, she felt fear; he did not wish to see her after how cruel she had been! However, Elizabeth spoke without waiting for an answer.

  “I will bring him in. He usually sits in here with me, but is just speaking with Papa.”

  Elizabeth squeezed her hand and left to find Darcy. Lydia relaxed, but could not be at ease.

  Soon Mr. Darcy appeared in the doorway.

  “Miss Lydia! It is a pleasure to see you awake and looking so well. I regret I was away earlier.”

  Elizabeth asked him to sit, and they both waited for Lydia to speak, but she found it difficult to find the words.

  “Lyddie, would you like more rest first?”